Right vs Good
by JudeOrion
Summary: FORMERLY "IT'S BEEN TOO LONG" Its been ten years since they left, ten long, heartbreaking years. Bella's pretty much resigned to her life as a teacher and resentful ex-wife. But a loud laugh from the back of the classroom one day makes her face her ghosts
1. Reunions

**Hello all! Thank you for choosing Right Vs. Good. This is my first fanfic. It takes place ten years after the Cullens leave, and assumes that Edward has not come back for Bella. It's mostly in Bella's point of view, but there are a couple of small chapters where it takes Edward's. **

**I have slightly different thoughts when it comes to who might act out my own story. If any of you would like to see for yourselves, there's links on my profile. At the bottom of this chapter is a list of ages (for the time being, anyway) of the characters. There's quite a bit of jumping ahead in the last few chapters of RvG, so I'll update the age changes at the end of each chapter.  
**

**Also, I loved putting together the character's outfits, so if any of you would like to see the ensembles, please go to my profile and there will be a link to a site there you can copy and paste.  
**

**Ok, enough with the yakkity yak! I hope you enjoy my story! Unfortunately, I do not own anything Twilight *sigh* I do, however, own a delicious piece of cake. Yummy**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**JudeOrion**

**Chapter One: Reunions**

Sunday. A day of rest. Ha. I should be so freaking lucky. I wiped down another grimy table as I looked out the window of the diner. The sunshine had a dim veil over it, as if it was saying good-bye until spring. Oh sure, it'd pop in and say hi every few weeks in the winter, but was pretty much done for until the trees started budding again.

"Bella, could you help me with these boxes?" Josh called.

"Sure. Gimme a sec." I pushed the tacky vase of fake flowers back toward the window and turned to go behind the counter. I dropped the rag into the hamper on my way to the back to help break down boxes.

"Looks like it's going to get nasty soon, huh?" Josh asked.

"Yep. We're in for a pretty snowy winter." I shuddered, already cold with the thought of it.

"You going to need a ride to work once it starts snowing?" Josh was a sweet boss; he hired me with no waitressing experience, obviously sensing my urgency to get another job. He doted on and spoiled Nicky silly; and he honestly worried about me using my ancient truck—although it was still running, it was touch-and-go in the winter. I mostly rode my bike to spread out the life of my truck and to save on gas.

"I should be able to get a cheap car before then," I lied. "But thanks Josh." He just nodded, not really expecting anything else from me, I'm sure.

When the diner was locked and Josh had driven off in his mostrous truck, I called Nicky real quick from under the eave.

"Mama!" he called through the phone. I smiled.

"Hey, baby. How are you?"

"Good."

"Good. You excited for school tomorrow?" I tapped a cigarette out of my pack.

"Yeah! I got my backpack all ready. An' Daddy bought me Spider-Man shoes for tomorrow!"

I struggled to keep the venom out of my voice. "Really? What about the ones I bought you last week?"

"Oh. Daddy said he didn't want me having the Velcro. He said I needed laces instead."

"I thought you liked the Velcro though?" Where the hell was that lighter?

"I did. I liked them better than the Spider-Man, 'cause they had Batman. But Daddy said no." He sounded disappointed.

"I see. Do they at least fit ok?" A-Ha, there it was.

"Yeah."

I stuck the cigarette in between my lips and lit it. "Good," I said around it, then exhaled.

"Mama are you smoking?"

"Yeah, honey." I couldn't lie to him.

"I thought you said you were stopping."

"I am, Nicky, but it takes a while, ok? I'm trying." Shame crept into me.

"I love you, Mama."

"I love you too, sweets. Why don't you give the phone to your dad please?"

"Ok. 'Night, Mama."

"Good night, baby." I puffed on the cigarette as Nicky got his dad. I was just itching to ream somebody out. He just presented me with the perfect opportunity.

"Yeah?" Mike answered.

"So…Spider-Man shoes?"

No reply.

"What was wrong with the ones I got him, Mike?"

"Come on Isabella. The kids are going to think he can't tie his own damn shoes."

Irritation bit me. Where did he get off? "He picked them out because he liked them, not because he thought about how cool they were going to make him. He's six. You seriously think that kids are going to make fun of him for that?"

"Kids can be pretty mean. I thought you of all people would know that, miss teacher lady. But, I can't blame you for wanting to choose the cheaper shoes for Nicky." Oh, here we go again. Attack me because I didn't make enough. No matter that I raised our kids and paid the bills and cleaned under your royal ass.

"Cost had nothing to do with it, Mike. God, you just can't handle me having any say in what Nicky does or has, can you?" I stomped out the cigarette.

"Not when I can't trust you to take into consideration what's really good for Nicky."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Excuse me? 'Mama, I want to stay in the truck!' 'Ok, Nicky, I'll just run into the store for an hour or so and come back with my cigarettes so I can poison you with second-hand smoke.' Sound familiar, Isabella?"

"Fuck you, Mike. It was a gas station, for five damn minutes, and I could see him the entire time. And I've never smoked around him." He was asleep in the freaking car! What did he expect me to do?

"Sure, I believe that."

"Ok, ass-tard. How about this? Since I'm such a horrible mother, and I can't obviously take care of Nicky myself, why don't _you_ drop him off Friday after school, and _you_ can pick him up Sunday afternoon. That way you can have total control. Sound good to you?"

"Isa—"

"Great. See you then."

I hung up the phone, still fuming angry. Let him do the 45 minute drive back and forth. He should do it anyway, since he was the one who moved them out to the boonies. I got on my bike and pedaled my way home. Locking the bike up to the the rack, I saw Mrs. Garner's light on in the apartment next to mine. The curtain flicked and I knew she was going to be bombarding me as I came up the stairs.

Sure enough, her door opened and her face appeared in the crack, covered in some kind of avocado mask. Euugh. Creepy.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Mrs. Garner. How are you tonight?"

"Oh, just fine, honey, just fine. I just wanted to make sure that it was still ok to bring Kimmy to school tomorrow…"

Ah. I should have guessed. Her grand-daughter, Kimber, was starting her freshman year at the school I taught at. Through the gossiping tendencies of the old lady, I had learned that Kimber's mother was a drug addict who had gotten Kimber taken away from her about two months ago. She had been sent to live with her grandmother since then. The few times I had seen her passing by the doorway or window in the apartment, she didn't even look out, just kept her head down and continued on quickly. I hadn't even seen her face, I just knew that she was sickly thin and had long, dirty-blonde hair.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll have to leave pretty early. School starts at 8:30, but I'll have to leave around a quarter till. Is that ok?" I was already in my apartment, left hand on the door, right hand pulling the key out of the knob.

_Please just answer. I need to be alone_.

"Yep, that's fine, Bella. We'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, dear."

"You too. 'Night." I closed the door and breathed in relief. What a long day. And tomorrow was going to be stressful too, although I was excited for it. I always loved the first day of school—from meeting the students, to seeing old friends, down to the coffee machine in the cafeteria—the coffee was too sweet most of the time, but at least the hot cocoa was delicious.

My apartment was tiny, a far cry from the spacious two-story Victorian Mike and I shared when we were married, but it was all mine, and that's why I loved it. At least I got the 42-inch flat screen. That was about all I got, though. Since Mike got primary custody of Nicky, I left to get a place of my own, meaning that I got minimal things. Mike only let me have the flat screen because he bought a 3D TV with my child support check, wasn't that sweet of him.

I sighed and dropped my keys on the table by the door along with my purse. I changed out of my work clothes into my most comfortable pajamas, washed my face, and shuffled into the kitchen to heat up some of last night's roast. As it rotated in the microwave, I turned on my computer. Nicky and Grace smiled at me from the background in their Christmas outfits, Charlie as Santa. I smiled and checked my in-box. One e-mail from Renee, one from my lawyer, and one from Angela. I smiled lightly again and opened up the one from Renee before getting my food. I wrote, read, ate, and yawned for the next hour or so and then shut down my computer and rinsed off the plate.

I settled into my bed and turned to face the picture on my nightstand. Charlie and 4-year-old Nicholas on a chestnut horse, myself and 6-year-old Grace on a paint mare, getting ready to go on a trail through Glacier Park on one of Dad's few visits. Mike hadn't come—he was busy I think. We had more fun without him than we would have if he'd gone along anyway.

I sighed and snuggled into the pillow underneath my head. My hand automatically reached under the mattress to the piece of cloth poking out; I stroked it absent-mindedly. Memories came into my mind as always, putting me to sleep.

"_Mama, what if I fall off?"_

"_You won't fall, Gracie, I have you."_

"_Promise?"_

"_Promise. I won't let go until you tell me to. Ok?"_

"_Ok."_

_I push her pink frilly bike up the block. _

"_Mama, let go! I got it, Mama!" _

_A squeal of excitement leaves her as I let go of her seat. She goes farther than expected and then topples over and crashes to the ground. Her knee is bleeding when I come up to her._

"_I'm ok, Mama. I wanna do it 'gain."_

_My brave girl…_

"_Mama, look I did!"_

_She's covered head to toe in Nicky's baby powder. She looks like a ghost. It trails behind her all over the floor. _

"_Grace Renee Newton!" I try so hard to act disappointed, but I can barely contain laughing._

_That's all it takes for her to start crying. Tears streak her cheeks clean. _

_I can't help the laughter, and she starts laughing too…_

"_Mama, Nicky just came into my room and showed me his pee-pee!"_

_Our dinner guests snicker as Nicky yells down the stairs, "Tattle-tale!"_

_Mike gets so mad and embarrassed…_

"_Mama, who's that man?" Grace points to a picture in the shoebox where I keep her hospital bracelets from when she was born; she wanted to see them and I forgot the picture was in there. _

"_His name was Edward. We were together in school."_

"_What's that picture from?"_

"_Prom."_

"_You were very pretty, Mama." I smile. _

"_Why didn't you marry him? You look like you loved him."_

"_I did, very much." My voice betrays me and a tear falls. "He…didn't want me." I put the picture in the box and the box back in my nightstand. _

"_Why?"_

"_I don't really know, Baby."_

_She flings her arms around me. "I want you, Mama. I never don't ever want you!"_

"_I want you too, Baby." _

_I dry my tears on her hair…_

The nasal beeping woke me up from my sleep. Damn. I felt like I had barely laid down. 6:45 again. I would never learn to acclimate myself to waking up early once the school year hit. Sure, the diner only did lunch and dinner, so I never had to wake up before 8:30 in the Summer. But it made the beginning of the school year that much more of a kick in the pants.

I rousted myself from bed and took a shower. I dressed in a simple beige blouse and light skirt with this old sixties print. Strappy wedge sandals and wood jewelry went with it. I threw my hair in a loose, trailing messy bun and touched up my eyes with some make-up. _Alice would be proud_, I thought wistfully, before shutting down that train of thought. I didn't need to have a breakdown before my first day.

I made sure I had everything I needed, tossed down a granola bar, and headed out to get Kimber at exactly twenty minutes to eight.

"Hello, Bella," Mrs. Garner greeted me, unGodly cheerful for this hour.

"Hi, Mrs. Garner. Is Kimber ready to go?"

"Just about. Would you like to come in?"

"Oh, I—" Thankfully I was spared the decision of being gracious or politely offensive as a tiny form came up behind her large grandmother.

"I'm ready to go, Gran," she said in a whisper-quiet voice.

"Great! You have a great day, Kimmy. Love you." She patted her grand-daughter's hair as she squeezed through the doorway.

She nodded and came to stand next to me.

"Hi."

"Hi." She kept her head lowered. I led the way to the truck and hopped in as she did. As we bounced through the crappy parking lot, Kimber started chewing her nails.

Yep. Definitely an awkward silence. I wasn't really one for useless chit-chat, but the poor girl looked downright terrified at the prospect of a teacher giving her a ride to school. I cringed, sympathizing with her. On the few days Charlie had to take me to school, I prayed for the end to come quickly.

"So, you excited for school?"

Shrug. "Not really."

"Why's that?"

"Don't know no one."

I gave an internal cringe at her grammar. Or lack thereof, I guess. "You haven't met anyone while you've been here?"

She shook her head.

Passing near a coffee hut, I had a spark of inspiration. I pulled in and was lucky enough to only have one person in front of me. "Do you want anything, Kimber?"

"No, thanks."

"My treat."

She looked up at me and I was hit by shock. Her cheek had a long, acid-like scar on it, leading from the side of her eyebrow, making her left eye droop. It went across her face and stopped at the hollow of her cheekbone. Another slightly smaller one forced the same corner of her mouth in a permanent frown. I couldn't help but look, but I quickly shot my eyes to hers and smiled. "Really, it's my pleasure. If you want something, I'd be more than happy to get it for you."

And then she smiled. Her whole face lit up when she smiled, and she really was quite pretty, if too thin. "Thanks," she said, in a louder, less shy voice than before.

"You're welcome." I pulled up to the window and ordered a latte for me. Kimber asked for a hot chocolate. On the road again, the silence was much more comfortable. I found myself thinking of Emily, a friend back home. She was married to one of Jake's friends. She was beautiful, with her copper skin and crow-black hair, but the claw scars on her face tended to cause heads to turn where we went. She was bubblier than Kimber, though, feisty and teasing and loving.

And, God, her cooking…I would have to get her to send me some of those muffins over soon…

We arrived at school just as the clock turned to 8:15. Just in time.

"Well…thanks for the ride, Ms. Newton." Kimber grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder as she was getting out of the truck.

"My pleasure, Kimber. Just drop by room 210 at the end of the day, and I'll be more than happy to give you a ride back home, ok?" Kimber nodded and went to the front of the school, toward the office. I went in through the cafeteria entrance and headed up the stairs toward the gym. The new foyer looked nice, I noticed. Much more open, modern. Sure it was pretty, but I felt a twinge of nostalgia for the original foyer—the one that had been there I think since the school opened.

Turning my back on the foyer, I clicked up the stairs to the second floor and went to my room next to the library. I smiled as I entered it and looked around the familiar walls. I'd spent the week prior putting up posters, art, arranging the furniture, and making it homey in my spare time. In lieu of desks, I had two Salvation Army couches in the back of the class, three squishy armchairs that I'd got in the divorce but couldn't fit into my apartment, and the rest were regular chairs gathered at round tables.

Leaving the door open, I sat down at my desk and relaxed for a couple of moments before taking my laptop case and pulling my computer and papers out of it. I took my computer with me almost wherever I went—my whole life was on it. Just as I was getting ready for my first class (a freshman course, which basically meant I was babysitting for the first hour of the day) a knock came on my doorframe. I turned around with a smile on my face and saw Kimber.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey, Ms. Newton."

"What's up?"

She stepped into my classroom and stood in front of me. "I guess we're gonna see more 'each other. I just got my schedule and I'm in your class."

I smiled. "Great. Pick any seat."

Kimber picked the squishy wing-back chair next to my desk and settled in. "It ok if I drink this in here?" She held up her hot chocolate. I nodded and looked back to my computer.

As students started to trickle in, I kept my eye on them. The two boys in the back on the couch seemed to be the kind that thought they were God's gift. I'd probably have to separate them. One of the girls was texting as she was coming in; I gave her a "teacher" look and made a mental note to keep an eye on her. The boy who looked two years younger than he really was smiled at me as he walked in. He looked familiar and I checked the roster. Nelson Hayes—I'd had his older brother, Robert, in my Sophomore's class last year. He was one of my favorites. There was no mistaking them as brothers.

As everyone got settled, I went to the board and wrote my name. I don't know why I didn't change my name after Mike and I divorced. I guess I just didn't care. It was annoying me more and more lately, though. Maybe I'd go to the courthouse next Friday, the teacher in-service.

Under my name I wrote COURSE OBJECTIVES: Semester one—to read and comprehensively discuss classic, modern, and short story literature. Semester two—to gain and practice skills in writing different genres of literature.

On a different piece of board I wrote SUPPLIES: 1in. 3 ring binder, pencils, blue pen, black pen, red pen, 2 college ruled spiral notebooks.

Some kids were on the ball—mostly the ones in the middle tables or in the chairs in the back, I noticed. They either got out binders and started labeling them for my class, or the same for spiral notebooks. I noticed Kimber even wrote down the course objectives. She constantly looked up to the board, and I wondered whether she had trouble seeing.

My freshman class was spent with introductions and class expectations. After that I had a Senior elective class; half of that class I'd already had before now. After my first Sophomore class was lunch. I ate in my room alone, reading. Then was my free period and I spent that time to get ready for my only mixed class, Juniors and Seniors. This one was going to be a tough one. I had noticed in my previous two years that where two graduating classes were mixed, the boys got on fine, but the girls often acted catty toward each other. Being as this was a class where working together was important, it either ended in love or hate. I hoped it would be the former this year.

There was no way they would know I was there, looking back on it. I'd kept my name up on the board throughout the day, changing the course objectives and supplies only. The bell rang signaling the end of my prep time and I got up to write on the board before the students could come storming in. I'd set up the room so that my back was to the door as I was writing, and the back rows were by the door, and the comfy chairs and couches by the windows opposite the door. So I didn't see anyone as I was writing on the blackboard. I didn't have any way to prepare for what happened as the first two students came in just seconds after the first bell rang.

Loud, booming, eerily familiar laughter echoed in my head from the back of the classroom. I stiffened, and my heart started pounding. My suddenly shaking hand dropped the dry-erase marker I had been writing with.

No…it was not him…I was imagining it. My pulse was racing, adrenaline was spicing and strengthening the smell of my blood, I was sure of it. He'd smell me soon. I closed my eyes.

And I heard an all-too-memorable gasp come from the same direction of the laugh. I slowly turned.

There he was. Or there _they_ were.

Emmett and Edward.

"_Shit._"

* * *

**Bella: 28**

**Mike: 29**

**Nicky: 6**

**Josh: 31**

**Kimber: 14**

**Edward: "16"**

**Alice: "16"**

**Emmett: "17"**

**Jasper: "18"**

**Rosalie: "17"**

**Esme: "32"**

**Carlisle: "35"**

**I think I got everyone...let me know if not.  
**


	2. Matters of the Heart

**All my lovely reviewers! Thank you so much! Honestly, I'm not really a review hound but I have to admit that they keep the morale up. Thanks to everyone.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a fat corgi whose tummy touches the ground.**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by JudeOrion  
**

**Chapter Two: Matters of the Heart  
**

No way this could be happening. But those four golden eyes told no lies. Edward's mouth was slack, and he mouthed, "Bella."

Other students started coming in and I was forced to stop staring at my past and finish writing on the board. My mind was in turmoil. Why was he here? Were the rest of them? Alice? My hopes were dangerously up, but I couldn't squash them down.

At the same time I was angry at Edward. He promised it would be like he never existed, and yet here he was, in my classroom, on my turf. On my turf…that sounded promising. He had encroached on my territory, _my_ school, what right did he have to be here? Reminding me of one of the worst times of my life? Indignation rose and I straightened my back. I could do this, be strong. He's just another student, Bella. Buck up and do your job.

The second bell rang and I turned around to see the class. It was much smaller than my others, 12 kids in all.

"All right, everyone. My name is Ms. Newton. I recognize a few faces in the room—"

I heard a guffawing laughter from the back of the room. Emmett was already being a pain.

"Something the matter?" I asked, without raising my eyes from the stack of papers in my hands I was sorting through.

"No Ma'am, _Mrs. Newton_." He said in a teasing tone. I saw him elbow Edward.

"Then I'll trust you not to interrupt again, Mr…"

"Cullen, Mrs. Newton. Emmett Cullen."

"Mr. Cullen. And it's Ms. Newton, not Mrs." I started passing out the stack in my hands. "This is your reading list for this semester. The library is short on a few of them but I have my own little library in here. I would prefer if you can buy them on your own, because in this class you'll be comparing and contrasting these books again and again. If that's not possible, however, like I said—just come to me and I'll be happy to loan you some of my personal books." I passed out the papers row by row and soon came to Edward's. I stopped breathing I think. Why did he have to be on the end? Why why why was I being punished? What did I do wrong? And my hand just had to shake didn't it? Our eyes met as I handed Edward the papers for his row. He smiled. I glowered. What right did he have to smile at me like we were old friends? Our hands touched and I drew mine back quickly as the familiar tingle coursed through.

"So," I said, walking back up front. "The first on the list is Romeo and Juliet." And fate just gets better and better. I'm such an idiot. "Who here has their own copy." Eight hands raised in the air. "Ok. Everyone else get a copy, I don't really care how. Shoplifting is probably not a good idea though." I got a few snickers out of that one and my confidence boosted. I could do this. "If you don't really have a way of getting a copy, then ask me after class."

Could an hour really be that long? It seemed like a week had passed in that classroom when the bell finally, _finally_ rang. One more class to go…urgh. I went to my desk to grab the things for my last class. The students stomped out and I collapsed in my chair behind my desk and covered my face with my hands.

"How the fuck did this happen?"

"I'd say it was because fate is a bitch." That stupid voice.

"Why are you here Emmett?" I asked through clenched teeth, my face still in my hands.

I felt him bend down from the opposite side of me and ruffle my hair like he used to. I sighed.

"I missed you, Bells." He left the class and I lifted my head. Edward was still in his seat, staring at me tensely.

"Class is over. Or didn't you hear the bell?" I asked icily.

"My next class is in here, too," he said quietly.

"What? Did you know I was here and got all your English classes with me so you could annoy the piss out of me?" I snarled.

"I swear, I had no idea, Bella. We had no clue that you were here. We'll probably leave for your sake. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Don't leave for my sake—"

"Hi, Ms. Newton!"

"Oh—hi, Jenna. Have a good summer?" I asked the dark-skinned girl in front of me absentmindedly. She was one of my students from last year. Not very talented in English, but I'd heard from one of the Math teachers that she was the best in her year. She was enthusiastic, though, so that lessened my frustration when she didn't understand something.

"Yeah. Did you?"

"Yep." Jenna went to the front row. I turned to Edward.

"We'll talk about this later," I whispered so only he could hear me.

I think I caught his slight nod.

I was glad to hear the last bell ring. The kids all got up and stampeded toward the door, chattering and laughing gaily. I looked toward the back of the room to my own personal ghost and stared. His gaze was as relentless as mine as I dared him to speak first. I huffed and turned to erase the board. I had just swiped the last bit off when I felt an icy grasp around my wrist. I yanked my arm from his hand.

"_Don't_ touch me." My voice was deadly and I glared at him, feeling the rise of all the anger and indignation forming into a lump in my throat. Where did this prick get off?

A high-pitched gasp alerted us to other people in the room. There they were at the doorway, the rest of my demons come back to haunt me. Alice was staring at me like she would cry if she could. Emmett stood with his arm around Rosalie, wearing a big shit-eating grin; Rose studied her perfect nails. Jasper's honey eyes stared at me in alarm and hurt—no doubt he could feel what I felt and was very uncomfortable. Huh. I couldn't really bring myself to care.

"Bella?" Alice squeaked. She started coming to me. I took a step back.

"Call me Ms. Newton in school, please." I looked at her hard and she stopped in her tracks.

"B-Bella…please?"

I shook my head. "Why are you all here?"

"We…just picked a place…I know it's not really cloudy in summer, but Esme said she'd always wanted to come to Montana, so…we found a place where we could work with it. I—we—never thought you'd be here," Alice explained. She ran a finger over my desk absent-mindedly.

"Ok." I nodded. "So…now what?"

"What do you mean?" Edward asked. I took a step to the side to put some distance between us.

"Are you staying? Going? Is it just going to be a kind of lets-ignore-each-other-and-act-like-the-past-didn't-happen kind of thing? Or is it going to be more like the vague acquaintance kind of thing?"

"Well…we were hoping that we could be friends again…something like we were before," Emmett piped up.

My head was shaking 'no' before he was even finished. "No. Can't. Can't." The dam in my heart started flaking apart; it would burst if I couldn't get away. I was trembling and starting to have a panic attack. Damn; they would see, they would all see. How many times had I vowed that if I ever saw them again I would act like nothing had happened, nothing they did had affected me?

"Bella, are you ok?" Edward asked. He raised his hand to my hair and I slapped it away.

"You left. You left! You all left me, and you don't have the fucking right to act like it didn't happen! You promised! You promised, but then you left me on my own, and now you want to act like friends again, just so you can pick up and leave when I gain the trust back? No! I can't!"

They all had looks of shock on their faces. Alice stepped forward.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry we left. I know there's nothing we can do to make it better, but I hope that I can somehow convince you to trust us again. At least trust me."

I looked up at the rest of them. Alice was still running her finger over my desk. I looked toward Jasper and met his eyes. I sent feelings of understanding and compassion and forgiveness to him. His eyes went wide and he smiled thinly at me. If nothing else happened from this…conversation…I wanted Jasper to know that I never blamed him.

I turned back to Alice to see that she had taken another step toward me.

"I don't know, Alice. I just don't know if I can trust you and your family again."

_Especially Edward_, I thought.

We were all quiet for a while.

"Could you at least do one thing for us?" I looked up at Emmett. His face was imploring. "Esme misses you. So much. Could you at least come up to the house and see her?"

If anyone but Emmett asked that, I would have said tough shit. But seeing him there, with begging eyes, so unlike his normal playful, teasing self, dropped what shred of dignity I had left and I nodded. He reminded me too much of Nicky.

"Yeah. I guess I could."

A knock on the doorframe interrupted us. "Sorry I'm late Ms. Newton. I had to ask one'a my teachers for help an' it took longer than I thought."

"That's ok, Kimber. I was just speaking with some…unexpected acquaintances." Alice's face fell at the title I had given her. I could only muster up a smidgeon of remorse.

I looked at the Cullens. "I need to take Kimber home so that I can get to my other job. Tell your mother that I'll come over tomorrow. Ok?"

Alice nodded. "Thank you, Ms. Newton. It was really nice to see you again." The Cullens headed out the door; Edward hung back.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?" I asked as I walked to my desk and started packing up my computer.

"Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." Damn his velvet voice. I hated him deeper.

"Yep," I said, effectively dismissing him. He left the room. I finished gathering my things and straightened up.

"You ready to go, Kimber? I'm running late."

She didn't answer, just turned and headed toward the staff parking lot. In the cab of the truck, as we were warming up, she spoke.

"Ms. Newton…you ok?" Her voice was tentative and quiet again.

"Yes, I'm fine. And call me Bella out of school, please," I replied with as much warmth in my voice as I could dredge up. It was surprisingly difficult.

"Ok. It's just that you looked real sad in there."

"It's fine, Kimber. It was just a blast from the past…kind of a past life, really." She really was a sweet girl. I liked her more and more.

"So where's your other job?" She asked. I was thankful for the subject change.

"Oh, a little diner up by the hospital."

"You like it there?"

"Mm-hmm. I like talking with the regulars, and the manager is great. A couple of the waitresses are kind of…uh…"

"Bitchy?" Kimber offered.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I was trying to stay away from that word, but yeah—bitchy. But they have both been my students—one still is—so they know not to mess with me." I pulled up to our building. "Ok. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yep. Thanks for the ride."

"You're welcome. Good-bye."

"'Bye."

On my way to work I rolled down the window and had a desperately-needed smoke. Normally I never smoking in my truck, but I made an exception. When I got to work, Josh was playing Solitaire. I switched my sandals for a pair of flats quickly and went to grab an apron from under the counter where Josh was.

"Whatever happened to 'Time to lean, time to clean'?" I asked him sarcastically as I was tying on my apron.

"I have cleaned. And re-cleaned. I scrubbed the floor with bleach even. We have had a grand damn total of 12 customers today. I already sent Lynsey home earlier, and I was thinking I'd have to send you home too." He looked at me with an apologetic look on his face.

"That's ok. I don't really feel like going home, though. Mind if I stay and play a game with you?" I sat next to him at the bar.

"Sure."

We played cards and laughed and joked well past closing time.

Eventually I got up and stretched. "Crap, I'd better get going. I need to work on some stuff for tomorrow. Maybe get some sleep," I laughed. I got up and went to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich—I didn't feel like cooking tonight. As I opened the till to put some money for the sandwich in it, Josh put his hand on my arm.

"Hey, don't worry about it, Bella. I've got it."

"Are you sure?" I looked up at Josh.

Huh. I never noticed quite how blue his eyes are before.

"I'm sure, Bella." His hand moved up my arm around to my back. His other hand came to clasp my left hand, which had been resting on the counter on the other side of the register. I couldn't tell if he pulled my hand to his waist or if I brought it there of my own volition.

A corner of my brain started going off…reminding me of…of what? Someone…who?

As Josh touched his lips to mine, that corner of my brain shut off and another part lit up. Oh, God, his lips were soft. And he was gentle…hesitant, a kiss and a question at the same time. Mike had never been like that, he had always just taken.

And Edward…

_No. Forget about that. Think about Josh._

My hand roamed to his neck, and my fingers combed through his shaggy hair. He took it as an invitation and kissed me harder, his hand moving to my own hair. His tongue ran along my lips, begging for entrance, but that woke me up. I gently pulled back from him with a small smile playing on my mouth.

He just sort of stared at me for a moment before speaking.

"Hi."

"Hi," I chuckled back. I stroked my hand through his hair one last time before I pulled it to my side and took a step back.

"Was that…ok? I mean, was I out of line?" Josh asked.

"That was great, Josh. You're not in trouble," I teased.

"Good," he breathed out, before kissing me quickly again. And again. And once more. "Go on a date with me."

"Was that a request or a demand?"

"I'm serious. Please."

"Um…but I'm your employee," I said.

"I know. We'd have to keep it quiet for a while. But I would really like to go out with you. Soon." Josh ran his fingers through my hair. It felt really nice; he had big, strong hands, and he lightly tugged my hair as he went. I could have gone to sleep like that, standing up.

"I'd like that, too, Josh," I whispered.

"Thursday night all right with you? I know you have Nicky this weekend."

"That would be great."

His smile was infectious, and I found myself smiling back at him. "I'll call you to set it up sometime this week, ok?"

"Sounds good."

"Good. Now get home and sleep; you look like you haven't slept in days," he said.

_If he only knew,_ I thought. Between closing the diner at midnight each night and almost-scheduled nightmares sleep was becoming an illusion.

"Ok. I'll see you Wednesday, I guess. Some jerk scheduled me to close," I teased.

"How dare they. I'll have to change it to everyday just so I can see you." I couldn't help the blush at his words.

We kissed again, less tentatively than before, and then I left.

At home I called Mike's house phone to leave a message for Nicky, asking how his day was. I hoped he was settling in well. He had had a few friends from the neighborhood when they lived here, but starting a new school on top of a brand-new place made me worry about him making friends. He used to be outgoing, but after last summer…he just hadn't been the same.

After I ate my sandwich and got in my most comfy pajamas, I curled up in bed with a book to wind down with. It wasn't long before my phone buzzed with a text message.

**Bella—just wanted to make sure you got home all right—Josh**

I smiled to myself, and blushed.

**Got home fine, thanks. Just settling down with a book.**

**Which book?**

**Um…a Dr. Seuss compilation?**

**lol. That's awesome. I love the Seuss man.**

**Never call him that again.**

**Sure thing, Babe. I'm going to let you get some sleep. Good night.**

**Good night, Josh.**

Babe? Where had that come from? Admittedly, when I read it, I blushed and went all giddy-10th-grader, but I didn't think we were at the pet-name stage yet. Of course, what did I know? I married Mike right out of high school and never dated anyone else but him and Edward. And look what disasters those had turned out to be. Leaving and cheating, the story of my life.

I put down my book and turned off my bedside lamp. I had just hunkered down under my mass of comforters when I felt someone watching me.

Ok, this irritated the crap out of me. Even though I hadn't seen him in ten years, I still could recognize the particular way the little hairs stood up on the back of my neck when he was there. I got up and crossed the room to open my window.

There he was, positively glowing in the moonlight, sitting in the tree outside of my window.

Ok, new personal rule—don't live places with trees outside my bedroom.

"What?" I asked snidely.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine, thanks for caring. You can continue your pity party in your own damn tree."

"Can we talk, Bella?"

"No. Not now, anyway. I'm tired, and I need to sleep. I can't exactly do that when I can feel you staring at me. _Please leave_."

I didn't give him a chance to respond, I just slammed the window closed and went back to bed. He must have sensed my imminent implosion, because I didn't feel him staring at me anymore. I tossed and turned for about a half hour before I finally got to sleep.

When I did sleep, I had a nightmare. The same one I had over and over again for over a year.

I dreamed I was running along the beach frantically, looking for something. The sky loomed dark and furious overhead. Lightning struck, lighting the water and forest behind me, but I didn't care. I needed to find whatever it was before it was too late…I didn't know what it was, or why I was searching, but it was imperative. I knew when I was at the place where I would find it. I pushed myself harder, breathing erratically, trying to yell so much, but unable to make a sound.

I found what I was looking for then—who, I mean. The tiny body with corn silk-blonde hair, the turbulent waves crashing over the still form.

I woke with a start.

"Fuck," I said to no one in particular. I went to the kitchen to get some water, then went back to bed. I hated that dream. It always messed me up. All the next day, when I saw little girls, I would have to hold back tears. I clung to Nicky if he was around. I just wasn't myself.

_As if I needed more reason to be messed up tomorrow._

I went back to sleep again quickly, thank goodness. I didn't dream the rest of the night.

But I did wake with a start again.

Bacon?

Why did I smell bacon in my apartment?

I threw the covers off of me and hurried into the kitchen. Who did I see but none other than Esme at my stove, cooking bacon and eggs in my large cast-iron skillet.

"E-Esme?" I rubbed my eyes. Was I dreaming again?

She looked up as though genuinely surprised to see me there. "Oh, Bella!" She cried out. She hurried to me and swept me up into a stony cold embrace. I wrapped my arms around her on autopilot, still shocked to see her there.

"Esme, what are you doing here?"

"I…I just thought you might like some breakfast?"

I pulled from her and raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, the truth was I just wanted an excuse to see you, Bella," she said. She hurried back to the stove and flipped my eggs over.

"Esme…"

"Look, I'm sorry I came in uninvited, I really am. I just knew that if I had some kind of bribe handy, you might be more willing to see me," she interrupted me. "If you want me to leave, just say so."

The hole in my chest started to open more at the suggestion. "No. No, Esme, please stay."

She must have heard the fear in my voice, because she swiftly put the food onto a plate and came up to me with it. She didn't say anything, just handed me the plate. I sat at the table and began to eat. "This is really good, Esme."

"Thank you." She was quiet for a moment longer. Then—"Bella…I wanted to apologize to you."

"For what?" I asked. The coffee machine beeped and I got up to pour myself a cup.

"I don't know what happened after…after we left—"

Ah. Should have seen that one coming. I drew a shaky breath and sat down at the table. Suddenly I wasn't very hungry anymore.

"But I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for whatever our departure may have caused. I promise that no matter what I'll stay in your life. I-if you want me to, that is. If not, I completely understand. The family is thinking about leaving now, and if you think that it is in your best interest that we leave, we will, I just—"

"Esme! I've never seen a vampire flustered like this before. It's strangely comforting actually, to know that I'm not the only inarticulate one." I laughed to try to ease the tension. Esme cracked a weary smile. "I don't want you to leave. I would love for you to be in my life, Esme. Please, I've missed you so much. Don't go."

"Oh, Bella. Yes, absolutely. I was worried earlier. The others…well, they thought that you might want us to leave. That you were rather…brash with them yesterday. Not that you have no reason to. If that had happened to me…I don't know what I would have acted like. However, the family was prepared to leave today, until I convinced them to wait and let me talk to you at least."

"I was very angry yesterday," I said. I took another sip of coffee and stared out the window. "I've spent these past ten years trying to forget the Cullen family, and then here you all show up—effectively smashing down every brick wall I fought so hard to mortar. Underneath it all, though…I was ecstatic. Then they started talking," I chuckled. "Alice was going on about being friends again, and Edward was trying to touch me and comfort me…it was all too much. So I turned to anger as my last resource and lashed out."

"Do you think you could ever forgive us? Me?" Esme asked. Her face was so hopeful and sad.

"Of course," I said. I came around and hugged her tight to me. "It hurt so much yesterday because I wanted to see you, but I didn't want to want to see you. I loved you like another mother. I didn't even get to say good-bye." To my horror I started crying.

Esme took me by the shoulders and held me at arm's length. "Oh, Bella. Come now, don't cry." She cupped my face and wiped my tears away with her thumbs. "I'm here now, and I'll never just pick up and leave again. I promise. I've missed you so much." She gathered me to her again and stroked my hair as I quieted my tears.

When I was quiet again and my face was dry, I laughed. "I'm such a mess," I said. I looked at the clock. "Damn. I only have twenty minutes until I need to pick up Kimber. I need to get a move on." I picked myself up from the floor and brought my plate and fork to the sink and rinsed it off.

"Who's Kimber?"

"The neighbor girl. She's a freshman, so I take her to school in the mornings with me, since her grandmother doesn't like to drive."

"Ah."

"Um…Make yourself at home if you like. Unless you have to go. I just need to get dressed." Crap, no time for a shower. I'll just have to do my hair up again.

"Thank you, Bella."

I nodded and made my way to the bedroom. I picked out a deep wine balloon sleeve blouse. I paired it with black slacks and black suede ankle boots. I plaited my hair and washed my face; didn't bother with makeup but put on some copper coin dangly earrings and some matching bangles that rattled when I moved my wrist.

When I came out of the bathroom, Esme was looking at the pictures on the shelf next to the sliding door to the patio.

"Who are these people, Bella?"

I walked up behind her. "Those are my children. That's Nicholas—" I pointed to 3-year-old brown-haired Nicky, who was covered in mud (and nothing else) grinning from ear to ear in our old back yard. "And that's Grace—" I pointed to the last picture taken of her, 6 years old and in her prettiest dress, all ready to be flower girl at Jake's wedding. She had a gap in her teeth where the top two had fallen out. It was my favorite of her.

"Your children?" Esme asked. She sounded shocked.

"Yes."

"How old are they?"

"Well, Nicky, he's six, almost seven. He just started first grade. And Grace…she would be eight and a half now." The tears threatened a rerun. _Do not cry again. Today's going to suck enough as is._

"Would be?" I looked at her, silently begging her not to ask. She swallowed unnecessarily and glanced at the picture of her again. "Well they're beautiful children, Bella." I remembered that she too had felt the pain of losing a child. I thanked her silently for understanding the need to not think about it.

"Thank you. I do have to get going now, though, Esme. I'm sorry." I picked up my laptop bag from next to the couch where I'd dumped it last night and turned back to Esme.

"That's all right, Bella. I'm sure I'll see you soon."

"I'm sure you will," I giggled. She hugged me tightly to her again.

"I love you, Bella. Never, ever forget that. And I truly am sorry."

"Thank you, Esme. I love you too."

Ok, so maybe today would turn out with a silver lining after all.


	3. Drunkeness

**Here's Chapter Three! Are you all excited? Thank you everyone for your reviews. I love hearing from you!**

**The lovely Ms. Meyer owns all Twilight. I own the beginnings of a baby bump :)**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Three: Drunkeness**

I was running _so_ late. I took a short shower and blow-dried my hair as fast as I could. I still hadn't figured out what I was going to wear. I put my hair in a black headband and put on some face powder and mascara then dashed to my room to find something to wear.

Sitting on my bed was a long garment bag. Attached to it was a note.

**Bella—thought this would come in handy tonight. Good luck. Alice.**

Ok, that was sweet. I hadn't talked to her since Monday, when the fuckfest had taken place, but if I saw her in the halls, she always smiled shyly at me. It wasn't until today that I finally gave in and smiled lightly back at her. The others, however, weren't so lucky in gaining my affection back. Edward continued to stare at me throughout both of the classes he had with me unabashedly. I had enough of it on Wednesday and said under my breath, "If you don't stop eye-fucking me, Edward, I swear I'm going to give myself a cut just to get you the hell out of my classroom!" That caused Emmett to laugh loudly, making the whole class turn around to stare at him.

"Sorry, guys! Edward, dude, tell that joke to the class. The tractor!" he laughed again. I couldn't help but stare at him in shock, shaking my head as the rest of the class burst into giggles. I had to give him points for trying to cover, I guess. On the way out of the class I stopped him.

"What's this about a tractor, Emmett?" I tried to be stern, but to no avail.

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?"

I didn't answer, just raised an eyebrow.

"He said, 'Where's my tractor?' Isn't that great!" He was still laughing on his way out the door.

"Looks like being changed doesn't help mental infirmities, unfortunately," I sighed quietly. Edward chuckled in response.

Looking at the garment bag, I swallowed hard. One of two scenarios would follow my opening the bag. One: It would be perfect. Two: Alice would have tried too hard to make a good impression on me that she would have gone way over the top.

I prayed for the first as I pulled down the zipper. I gasped.

It _was_ perfect. A white top with a lacey scoop-neck lay on the hanger. Underneath was a pink tiered gypsy skirt with sequins smattered along the layers; I wouldn't pick it out on my own, but "really pretty" didn't do it justice. Alice had paired it with some dangly soft pink crystal earrings and white lacey ballet flats. I had to admit, it was perfect. I felt myself growing fonder of Alice despite myself, and decided that I would have to thank her Friday.

I had just slipped my shoes on when a rapping came at the door. Kimber was standing on the other side.

"Hey, girl. What's up?"I asked.

"I was wonderin' if you could help me with this? I don't understand it." She held up a page of her math homework to me. Tucked under her arm was her math book.

"I wish I could, Kimber, but Josh is going to be here in a couple of minutes. When is it due?"

"It's weekend homework. It's due Monday."

"How about you come over Sunday after noon and I'll help you? I still remember a bit from my math class."

"That'd be great. Thanks, Bella." Kimber smiled; it didn't reach her eyes.

"Yeah. Not a problem." I took a closer look at Kimber. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was off with her. Not that she was ever bubbly, but she never looked so unhappy before. "Is everything else ok?"

"Yeah. Everything's good. Well, good luck with your date," she said. She seemed suddenly eager to leave.

"Thanks. Have a good night, Kimber," I responded, completely shocked.

"'Night." She walked across the hall and slipped into her apartment. I was shocked and worried. I really liked Kimber, despite my reluctance to be her chauffer in the beginning. She really was a sweet girl. We talked a lot on the way to and from school, and I found out that she loved to write. Despite how she spoke, she could write with perfect grammar, and had an extensive vocabulary. Outside of school, she had told me that her father, her gran's son, abandoned Kimber, her mother, and her older brother when she was a baby. Her mother and brother were in jail for drug abuse. I was proud of Kimber for not joining the "family business" of making meth.

I left the door open and went to grab my phone from the charger by my bed. I grabbed my favorite coat—long, black, with gold buttons, and perfect for fall and spring weather—from my closet. Another rapping came at my door.

"Bella?" I heard Josh call. I rushed into the hall. There he stood in the doorway, wearing a white button-down shirt and crisp dark blue jeans.

I think my mouth watered just a little bit.

"You ok?" He asked, stepping into my hallway.

Why, was I drooling? _Say something, Idiot!_

"Hi! Sorry, yeah. I'm fine." I came up to him and grabbed my purse and keys from the table.

"Good. You ready to go?"

"Yep." He bent down and gave me a small kiss on my cheek.

"You look gorgeous, Bella," Josh said with a smile.

"Thanks." I blushed and looked at my shoes. "You look good yourself." I took his outstretched hand and followed him out the door, just barely remembering to close it behind me. I had to really work to get into the truck, as it was so high. I still only knew enough about vehicles to register that it was a Chevy, and it was really tall, new, and black. George Strait blasted from the stereos, and Josh turned it down once we were in the truck.

"So where are we going?" I asked as we bounced out of the parking lot.

"Well…you like cooking?"

"Yeah. I love it. If I wasn't a teacher, I would probably have gone to culinary school."

"Great. Then you'll love this," he said. We went south into town, past the shopping center and took a right before the hospital. Josh pulled into the fairgrounds and was directed to park on the grass.

"What is this?" I asked.

"You'll see." He helped me out of the truck and held my hand as we walked into the exhibit center. About thirty people milled around outside, where food and drink stands had been set up. He led me into the big metal building and gave a man two tickets; a woman stamped our hands. Inside there was crammed with folding chairs folding chairs, and a stage was raised up front. Big flat-screen TV's were attached to stands and placed all around the area.

"What is this, Josh?" I asked again.

He chuckled at me. "Look at the signs."

"Comfort Food Cooking Show?" I asked. Oh. _Oh._ No way. It was the biggest event for cuisine enthusiasts and housewives all over the valley. Tickets were a good twenty-five dollars a pop, and when I had been married, I had the money but not the time. Now that I was single, it was the other way around. I'd dreamed of going for years, but Mike was always either working late or "working late" by way of Amanda, Nicky's soon-to-be-stepmother.

_Way to bum yourself out, Bella._ I pushed the thought from my mind.

"Seriously, Josh?" I turned to him and hugged him tightly. "Oh my God, I've wanted to go to this for _so long_!"

"Good. I'm glad you're happy. Come on, let's get some seats." He led me to the end of the middle column, about halfway back. We would be able to see the chef and the huge screens set up to the left of us. We had been sitting and talking for a few minutes when Josh got up.

"I'm going to go get us some food. Anything you want?" I thought back to the booth set up by one of the local barbecue places.

"Pulled pork sandwich sounds good, please."

"You got it, Babe." He winked.

_Those jeans are so tight. Butt. Oh God, what a cute butt. Shut it off, Bella!_

"Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" Asked a sinful voice that wrapped around me like velvet.

No. Fucking. Way.

"Yes, as a matter of fact there is. Go find your own row."

"I didn't mean on that side. Over here."

I still didn't look toward the voice. "Yes. My purse is sitting there." I thumped it onto the metal chair to the left of me and crossed my legs and arms like a petulant child. I resisted the urge to stick out my tongue, but just barely.

"Ok. I'll just sit next to your purse, then." And Velvet Voice did. I ignored him, bodily at least. My ears were pricked to the sound of movement. "So…who was the guy?"

"My date."

_Good. You should bristle at that._

"Oh. Who is he?"

"None of your business."

"I'm just curious, Bella."

I swung around at him. "Let me get something straight with you," I hissed. I didn't need to worry about anyone hearing me, it was so loud, and no one I knew was around anyway. "_You_ left _me._ You have absolutely _no_ business butting in to my life! That being said, you need to leave! I am on a date. You remember, we had a few of those once upon a time, before you got bored?"

At least he had the decency to look guilty.

"So if you please, get the hell _away from me_!"

"Bella, you ok?"

I spun around in my chair so fast that I almost fell off.

"Josh, hi."

"Hi." He handed my my food. "Who's this?" he asked.

"This is Edward. He's one of my students."

"Hi, Edward. I'm Josh." Josh stuck his hand across me. I couldn't help but sniff his shirt. Mmm…he was all citrus and leather.

"Hi." He clasped hands with Josh and stared at him, almost angrily.

_Oh, brother._

"Edward was just leaving."

"Did you come here with your family?" Josh asked.

"No, I came alone. I love cooking, but my family doesn't really do it often."

Well, at least he knew how to do half-truths.

"Why don't you sit here then? That ok with you, Bella?" Josh sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I shot him a death look.

"Why not?" I mumbled. I bit down on my sandwich.

"Great. Babe, move your purse, so more people can sit in the row." I grudgingly grabbed my purse and kicked it under my seat.

"Babe?" Edward mouthed at me.

"Shutthehellup," I snarled back at him quietly. I promptly turned back to Josh and smiled at him. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and leant in to kiss my cheek.

"Edward? Kind of a weird name…" he breathed into my ear.

"Mmm-hmm," I sighed, happily. I turned to kiss him on the mouth.

Edward chose that time to fake choking on a bottle of water he'd been pretending to drink out of, which made Josh straighten up with a smirk on his face.

_Stupid damn vampire._

* * *

Admittedly, I sucked at keeping up with housework.

I couldn't walk a straight line if my life depended on it—and it had, on many an occasion.

I didn't hold my drink well.

And I couldn't for the life of me make bread, of any kind.

But I could shut anyone out at pool.

Which is exactly what I had done moments prior to taking twenty off the pool table as the man who put it there cursed loudly.

"Fuck, girl! You are one helluva shot! Where'd ya learn ta' shoot like that?" Cowboy asked me.

"It's one of those things you pick up when your dad's a police chief," I answered coyly. "So, who's next?" I called out to the onlookers who had been jeering at us. They all muttered and the crowd dispersed. I took a swig of my Bud. Only my second one, but I could feel it working…yeah, like I said, I couldn't hold my alcohol worth crap.

"Way to go, Bella. How much did you win?" Josh asked. He sidled up next to me and put his arm around my waist; he nuzzled his nose into my hair and I couldn't help to giggle like some little schoolgirl as he did so.

"Um…I think around eighty."

"Including my cut?" he asked. I whipped around with a smile on my face.

"Your cut? What do you get a cut for?"

"For being your…events coordinator. After all, I'm the one who started the betting."

"Doesn't count." I gulped down more beer. "You didn't think I could do it, so you bet me out. You whored me out…" I giggled again.

"Jeez, Bella, you just can't hold it, can you?" Josh asked.

"Noooooope." I downed the rest and set it on the table next to my purse.

"Good thing I'm driving. Come on, let's get out of here. Wuss."

"I am not a wuss!" I countered.

"You had two beers, Babe! And you're already drunk! You, my friend, are a wuss!"

"Ok, I'm a wuss. How many did you have?" I asked. "Mr. High-and-Mighty, how much did you have?"

Josh held the door open for me. "Two."

"Fuckin' show off," I muttered. I took a running leap into his cab and twisted around to face him. He stood in between my legs and reached up to push my hair out of my face. I'm sure my face was flushed both from the alcohol and the situation. The truck was so high that Josh's head only came up to my collarbone—and he was tall.

I bent down and kissed him roughly. He answered back in the like, wasting no time in running his tongue along my bottom lip like he had a couple of days ago. I opened my mouth and let him invade it with his tongue. It was warm, and tasted like alcohol and the peanuts he'd been snacking on while I was playing pool. His hand ran under my long skirt and he stroked the back of my calf; I'm pretty sure I moaned before grabbing Josh's shoulders and pulling him flush with my body.

We broke apart a few minutes later, both gasping for breath.

"Mmm," I breathed. I nuzzled my face into his neck, inhaling his cologne deeply.

"Agreed." He pulled back and pecked me on the lips quickly, then shifted my legs so I was facing forward, closed my door, and got in on his own side.

I must have fallen asleep in the car, because the next thing I knew, Josh was standing in the doorway, rubbing my arm, nudging me gently.

"Bella…Bella, babe, we're home. Wake up, sleepyhead."

I opened my eyes, swung my legs out of the truck, and rubbed my face. Josh was standing in front of me again when I looked up.

"Didn't we just do this?" I asked, then bent forward to kiss him.

"Maybe. Wouldn't mind doing it again, though." I kissed him a second time. "And doing it again." Another kiss. "And again."

"Don't push your luck, mister. Wouldn't want to take advantage of a drunk woman, would you?" I hopped to the ground.

"I guess not. Tempting, though."

"Don't even think about it, Josh. I gotta work tomorrow. Shit. I have to work tomorrow." God, I hope I don't have a hangover.

"And you have Nicky. You better get inside. Come on, I'll walk you to the door." He grabbed my purse from the dashboard and wrapped his arm around my waist. He took the liberty of unhooking my keys from my bag and unlocking the door.

"Here you are, milady."

"Thanks for tonight, Josh. I had a lot of fun."

"Me too. Can we do this again?" he tucked an errant piece of hair behind my ear.

"Definitely. No bars this time, though. Please."

He laughed. "No bars." He kissed me again and left.

I didn't bother pulling out my pajamas, just shimmied off the skirt and shoes and took off my bra through my shirt. I laid back under my covers and sighed. Tonight had been a lot of fun.

After the debacle with Edward showing up where he obviously didn't want to be, considering the constant wrinkling of his nose and lack of breathing when I chanced a peek at him, we walked to the and Irish pub down the block from the fairgrounds. We had a Guinness and talked for a while when he challenged me to a game of pool…and the rest is history.

"God, I can't hold it," I muttered under my breath.

At least I got a few good new recipes and won a cookbook out of it.

And a few kisses.

I was almost asleep when I felt the particular tingle on the back of my neck.

"Dammit, Edward!" I forced myself out of bed to open the window. "What do you want?" I called to the form in the tree.

"Can I come in?" he asked. I sighed hard.

"For a minute. I need to get to sleep." I backed away from the window and Edward flung himself into the bedroom. Even without a light on I could see his eyes raking my body and growing darker.

"Nice shirt." He smiled that damn crooked grin.

"Shit." I hurried to my dresser and pulled out a pair of sweats. "Ok, what do you want?" I asked when I was decent.

"How did your date go?" he said "date" like it was the dirtiest word in the English language.

"Great. Why'd you crash it?" I stumbled to the kitchen and got a glass of water.

"You're drunk."

_Great observation, Sherlock._

"Yes, but that happened after you showed up on my date."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know why, I just did, all right? I couldn't help myself."

"Do me a favor: help it next time." I set the glass in the sink and went to stand in front of Edward.

"Look, I didn't come here to fight with you. I came because Esme asked me to invite you and your son to dinner Saturday night."

"And you couldn't do it tomorrow in class?"

"I _was_ hoping to talk to you about other things…but seeing as you're in no fit state to do so coherently, maybe we could have this discussion Saturday after dinner."

Ok, I may be an English major, but would it hurt him to use small words when I was drunk at least? It hurt my head to try to figure out what he was saying.

"Yeah, I guess that would be fine. What do you want to talk about?"

"I'll tell you then. You need to sleep now, Bella."

I nodded and brushed past him to the bedroom. I didn't even bother to try to climb under the covers, just snuggled into the pillow. Edward came to stand next to the bed; he pulled the covers up over my shoulders and brushed my hair from my face. The familiar tingle sparked from his fingertips to my face as he touched me.

"Have sweet dreams, my Bella."

And he was gone.

Dreams of any kind eluded me that night, and all too soon my buzzer was going off.

"Noooo….." I grumbled. Stupid morning. I opened my eyes and saw a Gatorade and two Tylenol on my nightstand. I couldn't help but smile. If nothing else at least Edward was still thoughtful when it came to my comfort. I forced the pills down with some of the Gatorade, then pulled myself out of bed and stumbled to the shower. At least I only had a small headache as a token of last night, it should be gone in a bit. The hot water felt good since I had been freezing all night. I would probably have to turn on the heaters today.

I dressed in a blue peasant shirt, dark brown slacks and low black heels. I wrapped a gold cuff around my wrists and put on these fun dangly earrings shaped like the Eiffel Tower that Renee got for me when she went to New York last year. I decided on a red blazer to add a spice of color. The black patent ballet flats I wore almost every day sat next to my front door for me. Fridays were typically casual at school, but I was the youngest member on the staff—students didn't usually take me seriously if I dressed much like them.

I had just poured some coffee into my mug when someone knocked on my door. Kimber was on the other side.

"Hey, you're early."

"Yeah. Can I use your bathroom please?" she asked.

"What's up?"

She pointed to herself. That's when I saw what she was wearing. A mint green tank top and a denim mini-skirt. That was it, besides flip-flops. "Gran got it for me, to make me look like other girls in school—the insane ones. Could I _please_ use your bathroom? I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I put it on, but…I ain't gonna wear this to school. I'll be sacrificed."

I laughed. "Yeah, go change." I was putting my computer in my bag when Kimber came out of the bathroom dressed in Capri's and a band t-shirt.

"That's better," she sighed. For the first time since I'd met her, Kimber had her hair out of her face. It was merely brushed to a part, with most of her hair on the side of her face with the scar, but she didn't seem to be hiding anymore.

"I like your hair like that," I said as I slung my purse over my shoulder.

"Thanks." She grabbed her backpack and followed me out the door—I had to make sure that her grandmother wasn't looking first.

We had developed a kind of schedule over the week. We would head out at a quarter to eight, grab something to drink, and when we got to school I would drop her off at the front entrance so she could go to her locker and I parked the truck. She usually beat me to the classroom and we would spend the time before class in companionable silence. Kimber usually read or did her homework while I prepared for the day.

Today was no different, except in one detail. When I arrived at my classroom door, Kimber was talking with Alice. Or rather, Alice was jabbering at a thousand miles a minute while Kimber nodded politely. She looked at me for help when she saw that I was coming down the hall. I couldn't 't help but smile—I recognized the plea.

"Hello, Alice," I said as I came up behind the girls and unlocked the classroom door.

"Hi, Bella!" she said.

"Ms. Newton in school," I said disdainfully. I really needed to get it changed.

"Sorry, I forgot. I'm so used to your first name."

Kimber looked at Alice with a mixture of amusement and incredulity. She shot me a glance that said, "is she for real?" before she dumped her things at the same chair she sat in every day and swiveled it around to face me. I nodded. Kimber shook her head and snitched one of the emergency Tootsie Rolls from the little glass bowl on my desk.

"So, how was your date?" she was practically bouncing up and down in her flouncy little skirt.

I rolled my eyes. As if she didn't know. "It was good, Alice. Thanks for your advice on what to wear."

Her face lit up in a huge smile. "You're welcome! Did he like it?"

"I think so."

"What did you do?" Alice sat on the edge of my desk and took a picture of all of my family in Jacksonville in her hands to study.

"We went to the Comfort Foods cooking show, then we went to Mully's and shot some pool."

"What's Mully's?"

"Mulligan's. It's an Irish pub next to the fairgrounds."

"So that explains why you look so tired. Bit of a hangover?" Alice teased me.

I rolled my eyes at her.

Kimber caught Alice's attention about something or other and I took the opportunity to pull out my things. Students began to come in and settle in their seats, and soon there were a few people involved in Kimber and Alice's conversation.

"Oh yeah, the best place I've ever been shopping was Milan, hands down," said Alice.

"Milan? Really? What was it like there?" asked Layla.

"Oh, my God, it was A-May-Zing!" Alice squealed.

"You been to New York?" piped up Kimber. "My aunt lives in Boston, and we was gonna go, but we din' have time. I would'a loved to shop there."

"Oh yeah, New York is great. So many small designers there, and personally I think most of them are better than the big-name designers. Like this pair of shoes." She pointed to a pair of familiar white lacy ballet flats. "If any of the big-name designers had the insight to make these, it would be one of the biggest pieces of their fall line, not to mention one of the over-priced. They're fantastic, but simple. I paid three hundred for them at a small place in New York that I love, but anywhere else would have asked five for them."

"Alice—" I choked out. "Alice…three hundred? You gave me three hundred dollar shoes!" the other girls looked from Alice to me, but she just rolled her eyes.

"Oh, please. It was the least I could do after everything." She winced, but smoothed out her face as quickly as it has it had crumpled. "Besides, you looked fabulous on your date, am I right?"

Before I could argue the bell rang.

"Oops, gotta go. I'll see you later, Ms. Newton!" Alice sang out, then traipsed into the hall.

Three hundred dollars… "Three hundred dollars?" I muttered.

"Wow. Your families must be good friends."

"I didn't think we were that close."

_Ok, Bella, shut it off. Time to act like you know what the hell you're doing._


	4. Mistakes

**Hey y'all! Are you ready for Chapter Four? Thank you once more to my reviewers. Love all of you!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. Jasper owns me.**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Four: Mistakes**

"Mama, where we goin'?"

"To some friends of mine's house. The Cullens."

"Why?"

"They invited us to dinner. Get your socks on, baby, we're running late. And your rain boots."

"'Kay."

September. And it had been snowing. It had all melted before it could stick to any surface, but that didn't mean anything. Remind me why I had agreed to let Mike drag me to this freezing tundra? I sighed and shook my head. My earrings caught my eyes as they glinted in the reflection. They were long silver feathers that almost brushed my shoulders. Probably my favorites; they were the last thing Alice gave me, and even though they were too much for me normally, the memory meant the world to me. I figured she would appreciate me wearing them tonight. I decided to take care with my appearance, so after running errands and taking Nicky to the park by the house I changed changed into a relaxed pair of dark jeans and a purple wool sweater.

I tried trying to keep busy around the house Friday, not thinking about dinner with the Cullens. I cleaned the kitchen and living room, and almost dropped my vacuum cleaner from the balcony again because the stupid damn thing wasn't working. I decided to break down and get a new one come my next paycheck. Mike dropped off Nicky, we exchanged maybe six words between us, and my two days with my son finally began. I'd been looking forward to this so much this weekend—I really needed it.

I sighed heavily then slipped on the same shoes from yesterday and my favorite black coat, jammed my grey hat, gloves, and scarf on, and went to the living room to see Nicky looking at the picture on the shelf of Grace. I cleared my throat and he whipped around, pretending not to have been looking at it.

Losing Grace was hard for all of us—Mike and myself, not to mention our parents. But none of us took it as hard as Nicky, myself included, and that's saying something. He refused to talk about her, refused to be talked to about her, pretended like she never existed. But I knew that he carried a picture of her in his pocket at all times. At night I heard him talking in his sleep—he was so much like me. His nightmares were much worse than mine, and he was only five at the time. In the past year he had drawn in more on himself and it terrified me. Counselors shuffled him between each other in hopes of finding someone to help him, but they couldn't get him to talk, at all. He had formed a sort of selective mutism in the past year. Nicky openly talked about mundane things with Mike and I, and exchanged simple words with Charlie, but other than that, he didn't talk to anyone. His teacher was already stressed with him, and God knows Mike wasn't any help. Work came before anything, I had learned that the hard way. I knew Amber, his future step-mother, was trying to convince Mike to let Nicky live with me, but spiting me took a close second in importance to work.

I pretended I hadn't seen Nicky as I made my way to the kitchen, and he sat quickly back onto the couch to put his boots on.

"Ready, buddy?"

"Yeah." He looked so scared at the prospect of meeting new people, but his (latest) counselor said that being around new people that Mike or I were comfortable with could help, so I put my faith in her and decided to take Nicky.

"Don't worry, baby." I smoothed his hair then helped him put his coat on. "If you get too upset and need to go, just squeeze my hand like this, ok?" I squeezed his hand three times.

He squeezed my hand back in reply and I smiled at him. "Let's go."

Nicky played with the radio, tuning it to a classic rock station and stared out his window quietly the whole ride.

The turnoff to their new place was much less overgrown than their house in Forks; I found it easily and drove up the muddy hill that turned into a gravel driveway. This house was smaller than the last, though not small by any means, painted a yellowish cream with sky blue accents, and set into the hill I had just driven up. The wraparound porch came to a deck at the back of the house over the day basement, which let out into a large field on the bank of a quaint pond. If the back of the house was bright and open, the front was the exact opposite; pine trees towered over the house, catching most of the still gently falling snow. It was almost dusk, and the light reminded me of a fairy tale. It was gorgeous.

"Wow," Nicky breathed out. I smiled to myself.

"Still good?" I asked him. He nodded.

"All right, let's go." We simultaneously exited the truck and crunched up the gravel walkway.

"Bella!" Alice's shrill voice echoed around us as the sprite slammed the door open and flew over to crush me in a hug.

"Air is essential, Alice."

"Sorry! Sorry!" she let me go, still beaming, and turned to crouch in front of Nicky. "And who are you?" she asked.

"That's Nicky, my son." I hadn't spoken to her about Nicky, but I was sure Esme would have filled them in from our talks almost every morning this week. She really was spoiling me with her cooking.

I don't know how Alice managed it, but she refrained from scooping him up in a hug and stuck out her hand. "Hey Nicky. Put 'er there." Nicky took her hand. "I hear you're the silent type. That's ok, 'cause I talk enough for the both of us." That lit a small smile on his face. She straightened up, still holding his hand, and took my hand in her other one.

"Come on, everyone's waiting." Alice led us up the porch steps and through a heavy dark oak door into a brightly lit entryway. I took off my shoes and told Nicky to do the same. Past those doors was a large foyer painted in greens and white with old wood floors the color of the door. Directly in front of us was a closed door, to the right a curving stairway, and behind the stairway a hall.

In the middle of the room was a hauntingly familiar piece of furniture. Not realizing what I was doing, I ran my fingers over the dark polished wood as I walked around it; felt the velvety bench cushions give to my pressing hand before I sat on it. I poised my fingers over the ivory keys as I had seen Edward do ten years ago. For a moment I forgot where I was. I closed my eyes and began to tap out the tune. Not as beautifully as he had done, indeed not well at all, but I had taught myself to punch out the basic notes from memory. Maybe for thirty seconds I had let myself stumble through the melody with closed eyes when I felt a cold arm brush mine and begin to expertly play the lullaby along with me. At first I went along with it, then suddenly, when his thigh rested on my knee, I jerked awake. He was staring at me, his eyes ocher and hungry. But not with a hunger I was afraid of. He leaned toward me, still playing with a heavy slowness.

"Bella…"

It was as if his speaking had broken the trance. I jumped off of the bench, my fingers jarring the keys in an ugly way. I looked around the room: we were the only people in it.

"Where is everyone?" I asked. I didn't dare look at him.

"Kitchen." His voice was rough. I scurried left down the hallway to what I hoped would be the kitchen. It was directly at the end of the hall. Esme was pulling something out of the oven, and Alice and Jasper were holding hands, standing in the corner next to the sink.

"Hey."

"Hey." There was a glass of water on the table, which I assumed was for me, and I gulped it down greedily. When I looked up, everyone was staring at me.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. Jazzy, I think I heard the dryer go off, could you help me please?"

I rolled my eyes as they waltzed out of the kitchen. "Nice attempt at subtlety. Apparently there _are_ some things you guys aren't good at."

"We had to try," Alice laughed without turning to look at me.

"Where's Nicky?" I asked Esme.

"He heard Emmett playing a video game in the living room and went to investigate. Right in there," she pointed with her chin at a large archway.

"Ok, pal, you gotta go like this. Great! Now let go of the button when you swing. Awesome, strike!"

I laughed hearing Emmett.

"Is there anything I can do to help, Esme?"

"No, dear. I'm making cider pork. Smells disgusting, but Edward assured me that you liked it," she teased.

"I do. Thank you, Esme. You don't really have do to this, you know."

"I know, but it's the very least we can do."

"What are you all going to do during dinner?"

"Pretend to eat. I doubt Nicky will notice much, he's very hungry."

"How do you know? Did he actually talk to you?" I asked, shocked.

"Jasper told me," she answered simply. Ah. That would do it.

"This is a beautiful home." I made my way over to the large glass door; it led to a glassed-in porch holding some twenty-odd different plants and a few wicker benches. Another glass door across from me opened up to the deck.

"Thank you. Through there is the living room—" she pointed to the door where Emmett's voice was coming from. "Upstairs are the bedrooms, bathrooms and a library, downstairs is a game room and Edward's bedroom—the stairs there are through a door in the entryway. The laundry is down there too. Down the hall behind the stairs is the guest bathroom. Feel free to roam around."

_Fat chance_. I didn't say it, though.

"Are you sure you don't want any help?" I asked again.

"Not at all, Bella. Make yourself comfortable."

I went through the archway into a large room with plush white couches and chairs, and a thick white carpet. The windows were draped in heavy burgundy velvet, and the walls were a sort of dark teal. Sitting in a pair of black bean-bag chairs were Emmett and Nicky.

"Hey Bells! I'm just teaching my new pal here to bowl!" he said without looking from the giant plasma TV mounted on the wall. Nicky stood up and came to cling on my leg, smiling up at me. He tugged on my jeans and I crouched down.

"You ok baby?"

"I like Emmett," he whispered in my ear.

"That's great. You having fun?"

He nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"Good."

"Dude, get over here, it's your turn!" Nicky ran over and plopped himself knees-first on the bean-bag chair.

To the right of the TV there was another door. I opened it, hoping to find the entryway and stairs behind it—I really wanted to talk to Alice.

Instead, Carlisle was sitting at a large antique mahogany desk, marking papers. He looked up and smiled at me as I walked in.

"Hello, Bella."

"Carlisle?" I launched myself forward and held his stony body hard to mine.

"It's good to see you again, too," he chuckled and wrapped his arms around me.

"I missed you."

"Oh, my Bella. I've missed you, too. You have changed so much. Look at you." He held me out at arm's length. "You've grown up into quite a beautiful woman."

"Thank you. I'd compliment you on how well you've aged, but…I'm pretty sure the words would be empty," I laughed. He laughed also.

I looked around Carlisle's office. His desk was facing wide windows with a view of the driveway. Behind him was a wall of built-in bookshelves holding the familiar tomes, and across from me was the door leading to the entryway that I had hoped was there. The pictures Edward had once explained to me hung on the forest-green walls. The floors were the same dark wood as the entryway and hall.

"How have you been? I saw your son out there, you have done a good job with him."

I looked out the door and smiled at Emmett trying to give Nicky a high-five. He looked apprehensive at first, but not even my withdrawn son could say no to the eager smile Emmett gave.

"Thank you. I've been…ok."

"I would like to talk to you if you wouldn't mind." I nodded. "Close the door, please." I knew it was more for my comfort than privacy—vampire hearing and all—but I gratefully did as he asked and sat down in a squishy leather armchair.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Bella, I hope you won't mind. I took the liberty of…well, following you through these past ten years. My family has a very good source and I have been having him…keep tabs if you will. I know, it sounds very creepy, but I only wished to make sure that you were doing well." He looked up at me, asking for forgiveness without words.

I surprised myself finding that I didn't really care. But… "So, you knew where I was when you moved here?"

"No. No, I asked Mr. Jenks to never tell me anything about your whereabouts. I've kept it from Edward, but I did not want to take the chance of slipping up, and tempting him to come find you. He told us he was determined to make it as though we had never met, but I wonder if he hasn't regretted it over the years…" Carlisle looked lost in thought. Curiosity burned at me, but I wanted him to finish what he wanted to say before I got into _that_ conversation. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I know what happened last July, and seeing your son and how he has been acting, I wanted to see if there might be anything I can do to help. Obviously I have an advantage, with Edward and Jasper, and together we may be able to get him to open up. If you would rather continue with the methods you have been using, I completely understand. I only want you to know that we are here to help you, should you want."

Tears threatened to spill. "Thank you, Carlisle." I was sorely tempted to take him up on his offer. But I couldn't help the little voice in the back of my mind—"they left. They could do it again at a moment's notice. Or even without a moment's notice. Then where would Nicky be?"

"I'll think about it," I said, opting for the neutral take.

"Thank you, Bella. Just let me know."

"I will." I looked down at my fiddling hands.

"I get the feeling that there is something that you would like to ask me, dear."

I smiled. After so long, he still knew me more than my own father. "There is. Carlisle, you mentioned that you wondered if Edward regretted trying to make me forget your family. I just wondered why you thought that."

I knew that look on his face, the split second of pausing, his eyes flashing to the door. If I wasn't accustomed to their body language, I wouldn't have even noticed it.

"I'm afraid I've already said too much, Bella. That is something you will have to take up with Edward. I'm sorry."

"Can you just butt out for once, Edward?" I muttered under my breath. Emmett's booming laughter flowed through the door and Carlisle's shoulders shook with silent giggles.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I'm going to go teach your son a lesson in manners now," I said.

"My pleasure." I got up from the chair and slid the other oak door open to reveal the entryway. Edward still sat at the piano, his fingers ghosting over the keys.

"What is your problem?" I hissed at him.

"That was what I need to talk to you about tonight, Bella."

"Then why not tell me now?"

"Because Esme is about to call everyone to dinner."

"It's ready!" she called through the house a split second later.

I walked over to Edward and stood next to the piano bench. I poked a finger to his chest. "We _will_ finish this later." _Wow, that sounded braver than it felt. _

He just nodded.

Edward led me into the dining room, to the right of the kitchen. The walls were a light blue and the honey oak table and chairs were adorned in black cushions and cloths. A large vase of white lilies sat in the middle of the table.

"It's so pretty, Esme, I'm afraid to sit down," I laughed.

"Thank you, Bella." She set down a serving bowl full of salad in the middle of the table, then went back into the kitchen. Edward pulled out a chair for me and I decided to be gracious toward him for the first time in a week.

"Thanks," I mumbled. The hair around my ear tickled as he replied, "You're welcome," and went to sit down next to me.

_Oh, boy. _

Esme returned to the dining room with Carlisle behind her, carrying the serving dish of pork chops. His nose was wrinkled. Emmett followed, holding Nicky's hand, who sat down on the other side of me with a huge smile on his face. I was pleasantly shocked to see him holding hands with a virtual stranger—I would have to ask Emmett how he did it.

Alice and Jasper came to the table last, sitting down across from me, beaming. Carlisle asked the blessing, and Nicky and I tucked in.

"Mmm, Esme, this is fantastic," I said.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Is this cider? I remember liking it…before…but God, it's disgusting!" Edward muttered. I tried not to laugh, but couldn't help the smile that cracked through my lips.

"So, Bella. What's with the wardrobe?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What's with the wardrobe? You actually have a fashionable one."

"I guess my tastes just developed." I shook my head at Alice.

"I loved that red blouse you wore earlier this week."

"That's one of my favorites, too."

"And the earrings are…those are the ones I got for you, aren't they?"

"Yes. I thought you might like me wearing them. I don't put them on often, but when I do, I always think of you through the whole day." She beamed at me.

We were silent for a few moments, when I realized that there was someone missing. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was kind of offended. Surely she wouldn't skip this whole thing just because I was there?

"So where's Rosalie?" I asked as nonchalant as I could.

"She actually did want to be here, Bella," Emmett said. "But she got some pretty upsetting news, so she had to leave to calm down. She should be back soon. She wanted to talk to you tonight."

What the heck was this, Intervention Day? Everyone suddenly wanted to talk to me? I shook my head, seriously doubting that she would want to be here, within fifty feet of where I was. The pleasant silence from earlier had been taken by an awkward one, and we all finished the dinner in silence.

I didn't see where the Cullens put their food, but every time I looked around the table, less was on their plates.

I sunk down—literally, that was the only kind of sitting one could do here—on one of the big white couches after dinner. I sighed in contentment. I hadn't felt this well in ten years, and it was nice. A part of me vaguely wondered if I should be here, let alone so comfortable, with the family that had very nearly destroyed me, but I let it go. I could at least enjoy it while it lasted, and deal with what pain came when they left me. It was worth it—better to have loved and lost, right?

At least that's what I tried to convince myself every time Jasper shot me calming waves as panic threatened to engulf me when I thought too hard. He sat on the chair to the right of me, reading an old WWI book, Alice sitting by his feet watching Emmett try to teach Nicky how to play Smash Bros. on the Wii. Carlisle and Esme had excused themselves after dinner and I had no idea where they were, but Edward leant against the doorframe, watching me. Irritation bubbled as I watched Nicky kick Emmett's pink Kirby butt on the game.

Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Just do what he said he would and disappear again? What was so hard about that? He'd brought my—no, his—family back to me, and I was so happy for that; however, why couldn't he just let me be? I tried to quell the memories of him bombarding my mind, but it was getting more and more difficult as he bored his eyes into my head. I swear, I think my hair was starting to smoke from the intensity of his gaze.

I heard the back door open and the living room chilled a couple of degrees from the person who had just entered the kitchen.

"Whew! It's cold out there!" A lustrous voice sounded from the same direction as the back door.

_Like you would really notice_. I'm sure that statement had been more to announce her glorious arrival than her really being cold.

"Hey Rosie!" Emmett called without taking his eyes off of the screen. I turned my head as Rosalie entered the room. She was wearing white jeans and a brown cable-knit sweater, with a cream wool beret perched jauntily on her head. I attempted to be nice and gave her a small smile as our eyes met from across the room. Yep, I was still intimidated by her.

Intimidation was replaced with confusion as she smiled back at me shyly, but with warmth.

I think I could hear the Twilight Zone theme playing.

"Hey, Bella. How are you?"

"Um...fine, Rosalie. How are you?" Was this a set up? What was going on? It wasn't April first, was it?

"I'm doing very well. Could I talk to you for a minute, please, Bella?"

_Here we go._ "Sure. Will you be ok, Nicky?" He took a page from Emmett's book and didn't look from the screen as he nodded. I was so glad that he was comfortable around the Cullens. Usually when he was with new people he clung to me so hard my hand hurt by the end of the night.

I stood and followed Rosalie out of the living room, upstairs to the library. I hadn't been up there yet, nor anywhere but the main floor. It was huge, three walls filled with shelf after shelf of books. The wall with the windows had two big recliner chairs and a table and lamp between them.

I followed Rosalie into the big room and stood across from her; she stared silently out the window for a long moment before she spoke.

"I wanted to apologize, Bella."

"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you. What?"

_Stop being catty._

She chuckled softly. "I'm sorry for how I treated you before. Back in Forks." She turned to face me. "It was wrong of me. Can you forgive me?" Rosalie's eyes were pleading. I was in shock that she would be asking something of me, other than to get the hell out of her house.

"O-Of course, Rosalie. But why?"

"As I said, I treated you very unfairly. I was rude and crass and very uncaring of you. I suppose I was jealous of you, and I resented the way you had made your way into my family. I regret it very much."

Rosalie? The blonde goddess? Jealous of me? I asked her so.

"Don't you see? You have everything! You had your whole life ahead of you, and you were willing to give it up in an instant for my pig-headed brother. To become nothing more than a memory to your family, to give up your chances of growing into a woman, this beautiful woman in front of me. You see? If you had continued down the path you were headed, you never would have married Mike. Ok, I know that seems to have turned out a bit of a disaster—" I interrupted her with a sarcastic, "Hah," and she continued. "But you have Nicky out of it. He's such a wonderful little boy, you should be proud to have him. He looks so much like you. You would still look like a teenager, you wouldn't be able to be a teacher. Your life experiences would have been jaded by the inability to look forward to something—if you had stayed with Edward, I assure you he would have made sure you had whatever you wanted in a split second. How good does it feel to know you're earning your own keep? To not feel like you owe someone more than you can give? To not have to answer to anybody."

She had me there. Being married to Mike, the most highly recognized lawyer in our town, made me feel inadequate. I was doing what I had dreamed of—being a teacher. I put myself through college, while raising Grace and Nicky, taking care of him, and the house, not to mention planning his damned "work parties" every month; no matter what, it was never enough for him, because I never made enough money. However, for the short amount of time right after high school when he was without a job and I had a steady one, he resented me for it. So Rosalie was right, I loved not having to constantly feel guilty for not being enough, or feeling angry at myself for feeling guilty over nothing. The latter was the worst, because I couldn't help feeling like that, though I knew it was stupid.

"I understand, Rosalie. In the same respect, though, you would have never ended up with Emmett if you hadn't been changed," I said, braving our tentative truce's eggshells.

"True enough. If I knew then what I know now…well, I'm not sure what I would choose, I'm ashamed to say. Emmett knows that, and I know it hurts him, but we focus on what has happened, not what would have. I'm very happy. I just wish I could have had the things I wanted before all of this." She gestured to her hard, alabaster body, and I nodded in understanding. Ten years ago I had wished for nothing more than to be just like her. Knowing now what I didn't know then, I'm glad they left—not the fact of the abandonment, but what it had brought in my life. Two beautiful children and a wonderful sense of self-reliance.

"I understand."

"I'd like for us to try to become friends, Bella." She held out a hand to me.

I couldn't help but smile as I took her hand. "I'd like that too, Rosalie."

We talked for a few minutes more before we made our way back downstairs, hand in hand. As soon as we entered the living room through Carlisle's den, Nicky's eyes shifted from the TV screen over me briefly and landed on Rosalie. I think they grew to the size of dinner plates. She smiled at him and crouched in front of his chair. "Hey, Nicky. I'm Rosalie."

"Hi." It wasn't more than a bare whisper, but it meant the world to me. I couldn't help the wide smile that lit my face. The rest of the people in the room smiled, too.

"Aren't you just the cutest thing on earth?" Nicky smiled shyly and Emmett nudged him.

"You trying to pick up my girlfriend, dude?" he guffawed.

Well, if the blush was anything to go off of, there would never be any mistaking him for my son.

From the corner of my eye I saw Edward push off of the chair he had been sitting in. I wasn't ready for this conversation. I'd been determined to have it a couple hours ago, but my nerve had left me and I was just emotionally exhausted. My pulse quickened seeing him move toward me and I couldn't help panicking.

"Well, baby, we should be going. Why don't you get your shoes and coat on?" I looked around the room and smiled. "Thank you for dinner. I was very happy to see you all today."

Esme came up to me with her arms outstretched and pulled me into a tight embrace. "Please, don't be a stranger, Bella. We've all missed you so much."

In the entryway, I gave everyone—except that big dark cloud on the other side of the room—a hug. Jasper stayed by the stairs with a set look on his face. He tried to get away with just a wave and a half-hearted smile at me, but I wasn't having it at all. He had stayed in the shadows the whole night, and I could understand that, but I wouldn't leave until he knew I wasn't angry with him. Besides the fact he left with the others, I never was angry with _him._ I could forgive him easily, understood the need to put himself away from me.

I strode right up to Jasper and threw my arms around him. He sighed softly and leaned into my hug, wrapping his own arms around me and resting his chin on my head. I sent him every ounce of forgiveness and sisterly love I could muster and whispered, "Love you, Jasper. I know I never said it, but I always loved you like a brother."

He kissed the top of my head and let me go with a smile.

Edward came up from the shadows and said, "I'll walk you to your truck." I just rolled my eyes and grabbed Nicky's hand.

As I hopped up into the cab and buckled my seatbelt, Edward's hand came to rest over mine. I whipped around with my eyes narrowed at him. "What?"

"We still need to have a discussion. Do you mind if I come over tomorrow?"

"Fine." He reached up to tuck a piece of hair out of my mouth. I jerked away. "You don't get to suddenly decide you want to touch me. Good-bye." I grabbed the handle and swung the door shut almost faster than he could get out of the way.

* * *

"Mama, we gonna see them again?" Nicky asked as I tucked him into bed. I swept his still-wet hair out of his eyes and smiled.

"Probably. Did you have fun with Emmett?" he nodded. "I'm so proud of you for talking to Rosalie. Why did you?"

"I dunno. She's really pretty." I chuckled.

"Good-night, ladies man. Love you."

"Love you too, Mama."

I roamed around the living room later that night—or earlier the next morning, whichever you prefer—unable to get to sleep. My mind was reeling over my conversations that evening.

Carlisle's offer to help Nicky. Rosalie wanting to be friends. I have to say, the second conversation had been the most surprising. My favorite part of the evening was Nicky's breakthrough, hands down. I was so proud of him, but I had a feeling that stronger men had succumbed to the siren.

I was startled by a knock on the front door. Who the hell was knocking at 1:37? I grabbed the baseball bat in the hall closet and looked through the peep-hole. Edward was on the other side, running his fingers through his hair. I sighed in irritation. Kept hold of the bat, though, as I opened the door.

"Look at that, you do remember how to use a front door."

"Charming. May I come in?"

"I suppose if I refuse, you'll just come in anyway. You left the window open last night. I was freezing when I woke up."

Well, at least the turd had the decency to look sheepish. I closed the door behind him and set the bat against the hall table.

"Given the hour, I assume this isn't purely a social call?"

"I saw you pacing through the window and thought we could have our conversation now. It really can't wait. It is 'tomorrow' technically."

"No, I suppose it can't wait, can it?" I went into the kitchen and took a bottle of Absolut out of the freezer. I had a feeling I would need some liquid courage for this conversation. I took a swig and twisted the cap back on the bottle, put it back in the freezer. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"

_Lay off the sarcasm. You're twenty-eight, not the seventeen-year-old brat he used to know._

"I…I want to talk about when I left."

_Screw maturity._

"Oh. Ok, you want to talk about that? All right. Well, where to begin? Hmm…we could talk about how you left with no notice. How I didn't get to say good-bye to my family. We could talk about how poor Sam Uley found me half-dead of hypothermia and heartbreak on the floor of the forest you dumped me in. What else is there? Let's see…it took me eight months to finally become a non-zombie. How I came to be with Mike Newton, that's good. I was foolish to think that you might come back and be jealous of him and I being together, and that was why I got with him—for the possibility of you ever wanting me again. We could talk about how I was forced to marry him when I got pregnant. That was humiliating. Maybe discuss how I had to explain to my daughter at eight years old that I had gotten married because I had gotten pregnant with her. Watch her devastated face as she realized I hadn't meant to get pregnant with her. Or, we could even talk about how I found her that night dead. Would you like to talk about that, Edward? Would you like to talk about just how far the shit has extended in my life since you left? I suppose since you changed your mind it wouldn't really matter, would it? As long as you got the chance to assuage your guilt of leaving so suddenly—assuming you have any that is.

"Is any of that what you would like to talk about? Because I'm pretty sure I just summed up how well my life's been while you've been out doing your own thing. Been…what was the word you used? Oh yes, 'distracted' that was it. Have you been able to distract yourself? Or was I just the distraction you were looking for ten years ago, then got bored of? That's really the question I've been looking for the answer to, Edward. I'd love for you to answer it. Which one was I? The distraction from your monotonous life, or the thing you needed distracting from once you felt an obligation to?"

Was I even making any sense?

When I ended my rant, never taking my eyes off his face, I was breathing hard. Then it registered all that I had said, and I couldn't help the embarrassing tears running down my face. Oh God, I was an idiot. How many times had I promised he wouldn't get under my skin ever again? That if I saw him I would pretend like he hadn't ripped my heart out and left a gaping hole? That if he ever came close to me again, I would stay strong and not let him in? I really was as weak as he had left me so long ago, I hadn't changed from the stupid, sniveling girl I was in high school. More than anything I wanted him to never know how much he had affected me.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Edward stood rooted in place in my living room long after I'd sunk onto the coffee table, head in hands.

"Edward, just go." My voice was small, but I knew he would have heard it.

To my horror he didn't leave. He came to me and kneeled between my legs, took my hands away from my face. His face appeared to be concerned for me, but I tried my hardest not to be fooled by wishful thinking.

"Why are you here? You don't have to apologize, I get it. I get why you left, ok? I was able to admit you never felt the same way a long time ago. You don't need to stay and explain your guilt away to me."

His face got steely, and he fisted his hands up in the hair at the back of my scalp, forced me to look into his eyes.

"You're right, Isabella. I never did feel the same way for you that you did for me."


	5. Pumkin Patch

**Ooh, I'm so mean with the cliffhangers! Thanks to my reviewers. Love all of you thiiiiiis much *holds out arms***

**Steph owns all Twilight paraphernalia . I own a balloon that's attached to my son's belt loop. It's like watching a dog chase its tail :)**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Five: Pumpkin Patch**

The sound of my full name on his lips sent a traitorous shiver down my spine. I dropped my gaze, but he gently jerked his hold in my hair so that I snapped my eyes back to his. "I felt so much more, and I always knew it."

"What?"

"I love you, Bella. I never stopped. How could I?"

I melted into his kiss before I even realized his lips were on mine. His hands became gentler in my hair, he let his fingers thread through over and over again. I lost myself in the kiss—it was much more heated than I remember them ever being before. Not cautious, not gentle. Edward devoured my mouth, invading it with his cold tongue. His hands wandered to take a hard grip around my hips.

I pulled back when I felt that I couldn't breathe, but his mouth never left me. His tongue ran along the dip under my ear, down my neck, where he sucked at my pulse point.

I couldn't help the moan that escaped my mouth, and suddenly his hands were at my waist, picking me up and wrapping my legs around his hips. He groaned into my mouth and the reverberations in my throat drove me wild.

_Bella, what are you doing?_

Mmm…he set me on the dining table and dragged his nails over my scalp, sending wonderful tingles over my skin.

_What about this makes sense? _

Nothing, and that's why I pushed all thought away. This made no sense whatsoever, and it kept my thoughts from fully forming. My body reacted deliciously to Edward's touches and kisses, and I forced myself not to think rationally.

_And when he leaves? How rational do you think you'll be then?_

I could deal with it. I'd survived before, and I didn't even have anything to survive for then. I had Nicky now.

Oh God, was that—he never did that before! He was definitely more out of control than he was years ago. I would have said in control, but if he was he wouldn't have his legs squished between my thighs, tracing his teeth lightly over the shell of my ear. Yes, he had certainly never done that before, always too scared to break skin.

"Do you understand me, Bella? Do you feel my hands?" Edward squeezed his hands, which were trapping my wrists against the table. "Do you feel my tongue against your skin? My breath in your ear?"

_Yes. As a matter of fact, I can feel other things of yours too, Edward. _

"You just don't get it, do you? You never have, and maybe that's my fault." His mouth was still against my ear, and the way he whispered to me had me struggling to breathe. "I never did this to you before, did I? I never really showed you what you do to me. I'm not the same scared boy I was back in Forks. I can admit to you just how you affect me." He moved his hands to my waist again and the firm pressure spurred me on more. I moaned again.

"God, Bella, what you do. I love the sounds you make. I love the way your blood smells with the adrenaline and the pheromones. Remember how I once told you how you smell floral?"

_Vaguely…_

"It's much more prominent in other places…" he traced a line with his forefinger from my navel to the top of my pajama pants, making them pull forward before he let them go with a snap against my stomach. I gasped. "And it just drives me _insane_ Bella. I swear, your arousal makes me want to lose control. It would be so easy to."

I whimpered.

Edward chuckled darkly. "I won't though. Not yet at least. You have to choose me first. I want you to want me, and not just in the way you want me right now."

He pulled away from me, with a lick to my earlobe, and stepped back a couple of paces. His eyes were blacker than I'd ever seen them, and that damnable smirk lit his face.

_Shit!_

I had just…with…and he…what?

My face flushed bright red and I couldn't look at him. "What the hell, Edward?"

"Bella—"

"What were you thinking? Why would you do that?" Indignation rose in my head and made me dizzy. Or was that the leftover hormones? Whatever.

"I was just…caught up. I'm sorry, Bella." I took the chance to look at his face, and his eyes were frantic, embarrassed.

"What were you trying to prove?"

"You thought, all these years, that I didn't love you. You could never have been more wrong in your life about anything, ever. And I couldn't help it, I just needed to show you that you were wrong…I still love you."

"And you thought doing _that_ to me and then just backing off was the right way to go about that?" I was humiliated, rejected.

"I wasn't thinking! My instincts just took over, and I couldn't help it! I'm so sorry, I never meant to do that. I never wanted to do that to you, the thought of it thoroughly repulses me; I only wanted to talk to you rationally."

Breathing was hard again, and not in the good way. If I lifted my shirt, I'm sure there would have been that large black hole, remnants of duct tape and super glue dangling out of it. Repulsed? I knew he didn't love me, but he was really repulsed by me? Oh, God…

"If I repulse you that much, Edward, just go." My voice was hard and cold.

"Rep—Oh, no, Bella, no. I didn't mean that…not the—the—kissing."

"Kissing? More like attacking."

"That's one way of putting it. I didn't mean _that_. Trust me, that was—words fail me. Repulsed by my actions, my Bella. I came here wanting to talk to you, convince you of my love the right way, not by _attacking_ you."

"What do you mean convince me of your love?" he wasn't making sense…I just wanted to sleep.

"Get off the table, Bella. Come with me. Nicky's becoming restless, I don't want to wake him up." Edward helped me off the table. I grudgingly accepted his help as he twined his arm around my waist and led me to my bed. I sat at the foot, with my feet dangling off the edge and looked at Edward. His face was pained. Funny, I couldn't make myself really care.

"What are you doing here, Edward? You've managed to reduce me to a temper tantrum, turn me into a pile of mush, and insult me in the span of twenty minutes. I'm pretty sure there's nothing more you can do to screw up my evening, so why don't you stop while you're ahead and you can come back tomorrow to finish up?"

His eyes darkened by a fraction; his face became angry but his tone stayed quiet. "Don't speak like that to me Isabella. If you would listen for two seconds I could explain why I'm here."

I put my fingers behind my ears and wagged them sarcastically. "I'm all ears."

His eyes narrowed before he spoke again. "Bella, I came here because I need to rectify a huge mistake I've made."

"Like I said, I forgave you a long time ago. You don't need to explain anything to me."

"Bella—stop interrupting me." His voice was authoritative, and I shut up immediately. "Ten years ago I left you in Forks. It was a huge mistake—and not for the reasons you think. I betrayed you. I lied to you and I abandoned you, and about that I have been more remorseful than anything before. I was terrified after your birthday party. I had watched you suffer through that sadistic vampire almost killing you, and when Jasper leapt at you…it could have happened again. You could have been so easily killed. I decided then that I needed to go to further lengths to protect you. I thought and thought about my options, but the only surefire thing I could do was to leave you. It broke me to do it…I lied to you in the forest that day, Bella. I love you, and I always have. I told you I didn't, and I told you I was bored, and you believed me so easily, I saw the look in your eyes! How could you just accept it?"

Edward knelt down in front of me, put his hands on the sides of my neck. "Please, Bella, you have to believe me. Not a day has gone by that I don't regret it."

I stayed quiet for a moment, looking in his eyes for a hint of deceit. I found none there.

"You…you really mean it?" I asked.

"I do. Look, I know that it's been so long. And I know that you're seeing someone right now. Also that there's the social obstruction of you being my teacher. I'm asking…begging…is there any chance that you could feel that way for me again? That we could be like we were?" He rubbed his cold hands down my neck and over my arms to grab my hands.

_Who the hell does he think he is!_

Anger bubbled in me for the umpteenth time tonight. I wrenched my hands out of his and he stood up quickly. "What? Let me get this straight. After everything I've gone through as a consequence of you leaving, after the years of utter sorrow and feelings of inadequacy, you just waltz back into my life. 'Hey Bella how's it going? By the way, I abandoned you because I was a coward and now I decided what I really want is for you to forgive me unconditionally and love me again without question' screw you! You have no right!" My breathing was labored and I was crying hard now. Edward's face crumpled and he came to me with a raised hand to brush my tears away. I flinched back as though he was going to hit me.

"Go."

"Bella, please."

"Leave."

"Just let me exp—"

"Now!"

Edward nodded and was out the window before I could blink. I went out to the balcony and smoked a cigarette. Or two. Ok, I chain-smoked four. And trust me, I felt sick to my stomach when I was done. When I was finally calmed down enough, I fell onto my bed and curled into a ball under the blankets.

God, it was all so fucked.

* * *

Nicky was up with the sun the next morning. I didn't even sleep, just roamed the apartment all night, thinking.

I tried to act angry but truth be told, deep down I was very comforted by Edward's confessions. I didn't fully believe them but it was nice to pretend that they were real.

I tried not to think about what I was going to do tomorrow, when I had to see him again.

I was in the kitchen making breakfast for Nicky, who was watching Sunday cartoons, when my phone buzzed.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, Bella. It's Josh."

Shit. What do I tell him about last night?

"Hey Josh. How are you?"

"I'm pretty good. I was wondering if you and Nicky wanted to do something today?" he asked.

"Um, yeah. I guess so. What did you have in mind?"

"The pumpkin patch is having its opening weekend. We could go do that and maybe get a bite to eat after. What do you think?"

"Let me ask him." I lowered the phone and shouted through the wall, "Nicky! Do you want to go to the pumpkin patch today with Josh?"

Ok, here's the thing: Josh spoiled Nicky rotten, from the moment they met. Weekends I got called in to work when I had Nicky, Josh set him up in a booth with shakes and pie on the house, coloring crayons and Josh's old Gameboy—the ancient grey kind with the green screen. Nicky hung on to Josh like a puppy, but he had yet to speak a word to him. That concerned me, because he spoke to Amanda—only when she asked a yes or no question or said something like "Goodnight" and he had to say it back. But at least he spoke to her. But Amanda just barely tolerates Nicky and doesn't make it a secret. He had yet to say boo to Josh, though, and it concerns me.

_Oh, God, how am I going to explain us to Nicky? _

"Yeah! He gonna bring Lola?" he came running into the kitchen, jumping and hopping from foot to foot.

"I'll bring Lola, he should be fine."

Ah, Lola, the transvestite dog. Ok, so not exactly a transvestite, but he had the smallest balls of any dog for Josh to think he was a girl when he got him as a pup. Now we knew better. Nicky wore that dog out playing. Or maybe it was the other way around. At the end of the night when Nicky was too tired to put up a fuss about leaving, I didn't really think about which way it was, just counted my blessings.

"Sounds great, Josh. Nicky stop running around you're going to hurt yourself. This is a kitchen not a trampoline!" he stopped and slumped down to a seat on the table where I had his plate sitting. "What time?"

"I'll pick you up in an hour; how does that sound?"

"Sounds great. I'll see you then."

We said our goodbyes and I put eggs on Nicky's plate. I didn't feel like eating—just looking at the stupid table made me feel both flustered and pissed at the same time. I took my shower and dressed in a wheat-colored sweater and a pair of loose jeans. Tennis shoes would be crucial today, I decided, and my favorite green hat. It was a downplay in fashion that would make Alice smack me if she had the chance, but I wanted to be comfortable instead of cute today. I plaited my hair and came out into the hall to find Nicky putting his shoes on, backpack sitting next to him.

"Mama? Do I gotta go home today?"

"Yeah, baby, you gotta." I took his outstretched hand and helped him up. He kicked his backpack down the hall and I shot him The Mom Look. Every other weekend we had this conversation, usually ending in him being even more silent through the day. I wished more than anything that he could stay with me, but Mike had made sure that the judge who heard us thought that what happened to Gracie was my fault, so there was no chance of that happening now. I just barely got out of supervised visits. That pissed me off.

The knock on the door saved us from the whole argument.

Josh looked great, in a fitted grey tee and blue jeans. Cowboy boots…hmm, he's got the truck, the music, the boots. If he has the hat I'm done for.

Eh, I'm probably already done for.

* * *

"Well that was…fun?"

"Ugh. Which part are you referring to? Nicky's ten rounds of Achy Breaky Heart on the way there or the twenty tractor rides?"

_My butt will never heal from the bruises._

Josh laughed. "The corn maze was fun."

"You had to send the employees in after me!"

"I meant the look on your face after you were rescued. Oomf!" he rubbed his stomach where I elbowed him.

"This coming from the man who was too afraid to pet the goats?"

"I saw the other one peeing on him!"

"On his head, Josh?"

"You never know!"

Nicky was asleep in the backseat coming home from the pumpkin patch, face paint rubbing off onto his jacket from how his head was lolling. Lola, the giant brindle pit-bull was running back and forth across the bed of the truck, yapping his fool head off. I had about twenty minutes until Mike came to pick him up, and then Josh and I were going to order a pizza and watch a movie at my place.

When we pulled up into my apartment complex, Mike was already waiting in his car. He stormed out of it as I jumped from Josh's truck.

"Where the hell have you been?" he yelled. Josh carried Nicky around the truck bed, his backpack slung over his arm. "Who are you?"

"Mike, be quiet. You'll wake up Nicky." I opened the car door and Josh put Nicky in his booster seat and buckled him up. I kissed him before I shut the door. "You're early, Mike."

"I've been here for a half hour. Where have you been?"

"Out. That ok with you?"

"Out where?" he crossed his arms and looked from Josh to me. Josh was leaning against his truck, running his fingers over the rim of his hat.

Oh yeah, he had the hat.

"At the pumpkin patch. That all right with you?"

"We were going to take him there next week, Bella! Jeez, you gotta spoil everything, don't you?"

"You never told me you were going there, Mike. How was I supposed to know?"

"We would go there every year when he starts school, you know that," he spat out at me. "I have primary custody, I get to do the big things like that!"

"Yeah, so? You never went before! I would take him and you would be working, if you recall. Or screwing Amanda, whichever."

"Shut the fuck up about shi—"

"Don't talk to Bella like that." Josh stepped in between Mike and I, who had somehow gotten to within a foot of each other during our argument. "Now look, I offered to take Nicky and Bella to the pumpkin patch. If you have a problem with it, talk to me. But don't you cuss at Bella like that, I'll rip you a new asshole, you got it?"

Mike looked like he was going to say something, thought better of it, then turned and got in his car. He sped out of the parking lot, jarring his poor Lexus on the way through the horrid asphalt.

I turned to Josh. "My hero."

He looked embarrassed, even though I was saying it with sarcasm. Well, mostly.

"I just didn't want him talkin' to you like that. It's not right. You deserve better." I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Well thank you. That was really sweet of you, Josh." He tilted my chin up with his finger and gave me a long hard kiss that left me breathless.

"C'mon, let's get inside and get something to eat. I'm starving."

An hour later we were cuddling on the couch with a blanket laid over us and empty paper plates on the coffee table. I was vaguely aware of Julia Stile's character flashing her boobs at her teacher to get some guy out of detention, but I was mainly focused on Josh running his fingers through my long hair. I was almost asleep when I felt him press his lips against my neck.

Wide awake, now. He kissed lightly from my shoulder up to my ear and back down. My eyes were closed and I let out a little whimper. The kissing changed to tiny nibbles and nips. I lifted my face to his and he brushed his lips against mine softly. Less soft. Not soft at all. He opened my mouth with his lips and flicked my tongue with his. I moaned into his mouth and sat up, gripping Josh's hair. He grabbed my waist.

"_You just don't get it do you?"_

"Huh?" I pulled back and blinked.

"What?" his voice was thick and husky.

"Did you say something?"

"No…"

"Oh…ok." I pulled his face back to mine and suckled on his top lip as he traced my spine with his fingers.

"_Do you feel my hands?"_

"What?"

Josh moved his mouth from my collarbone. "Bella, you ok babe?" his eyebrows were pushed together in worry.

"Yeah…I just thought I heard…never mind."

"You sure?"

I nodded and climbed to straddle his lap. Attached my mouth behind his ear and reveled in the shudder he let out.

"_I'm not the scared boy I was back in Forks…I can admit to you just how you affect me."_

"Shit!"

"What's going on, babe? He pulled my face right in front of his, his calloused hands were firm against my jaw bone.

"I'm sorry, Josh. I just don't know what…what…"

"I get it. It's my fault. I'm sorry I pushed you." He gently moved my legs from around his hips and placed me back on the couch. He held my hand with a sweet smile on his face. "I know it hasn't been that long since Mike, and especially after seeing him today I know it must have you in a state. Don't apologize," he said, misinterpreting my mouth opening to explain for the start of an apology. "It's my fault. I should have known better."

I nodded, letting it go. I don't think either one of us could have handled me telling the truth right now anyway. What was I going to say? "No Josh, you don't understand. It's not you it's me. I keep hearing my ex-boyfriend repeating what he said to me earlier while we were sucking face."

Yeah, that would go over well.

"I think I'm gonna go, babe. You have to work in the morning—"

"And in the afternoon."

He chuckled. "And I need to get to bed myself." He stood up and I followed him out into the hall. Lola stayed on his heels.

"Thank you for everything today, Josh. Especially the whole thing with Mike. I really appreciate that."

"Anytime, Bella. You deserve much better." He bent down and kissed me again.

"Bye."

"Bye."

I leaned against the front door, still flushed.

_Oh boy…_


	6. Stupid Romeo

**Yay! Chapter Six is here! The discussion Bella has with her class is where I got the idea for this story. I was up, taking care of my teething son in the middle of the night, when I thought, "You know, Romeo is an idiot." And then this story was born! Ta-daa! I hope you enjoy it, please let me know if you like it. This is my baby.**

**As always, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own a new corset I can't wait to use...lol.**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by JudeOrion**

**Chapter Six: Stupid Romeo**

Friday. Thank God. Two more classes and the whole long week would be over.

_Just get through these next two hours and you have the whole weekend with Nicky._

I wrote the groups up on my board as the students came in for my fifth period class. We had finished Romeo and Juliet last week, spent this week on reports and papers, and now, Friday, was discussion day. When I say discussion day, I don't mean what my colleagues in the English Department mean. For them, discussions—if they even have them—mean that they talk about what the textbook says the book means and if the students contest what the teacher says, they're wrong because their ideas go against what every college scholar wrote on his analytical papers—just like the one before them wrote, only with different phrasing.

No. Discussion days are days that I have complete conversations with my students. They get in groups and decide between them one key point of the story that they want to talk about. After fifteen minutes, we have critical debates about these key points. These days are easily my favorites out of the whole school year.

When the bell rang and everyone was in their seat, I turned and spoke. "All right, this is the day I've been talking about all week. I want everyone to get in their groups, please. You know what to do. Agree on a topic in the book Romeo and Juliet, any topic you wish, and in fifteen minutes, we will start our discussion." I left them to it and went to my desk to grade papers. I was happy with this class (despite the copper-headed God of Perpetual Insanity who still insisted on sitting closest to my desk) because they were very mature. I could leave them to do their thing and trust that they wouldn't get off subject—too much, anyway. I'd split them off in three groups of four people that day, in hopes that the fewer the subjects, the longer we could stay on them.

When the fifteen minutes were up, I came to the front of the room. "All right, everyone. Time to get busy. Kasey, what's your group's subject?"

"The age difference between Romeo and Juliet, and why the social stigma of age has changed so drastically over the centuries."

"Good, very good." I wrote it down next to their group on the board. "I haven't heard that one before. All right, Emmett, what's your group doing?"

Edward cut Emmett off. "Why Juliet didn't go for the safe bet with Paris, instead choosing to risk betraying her family and endangering everything she knew in life by being with Romeo."

Show-off. What high-school student talks like that?

_You did._

_Shut up, brain._

_Great, now you're arguing with yourself, Bella._

_Shut it off!_

I wrote the topic on the board next to their group. "And Jesse, what is your group's topic please?"

"Whether Romeo is a protagonist or antagonist."

"Great! Great, these are all really wonderful topics. I'm proud of all of you. That's two I've never heard of before. All right, Kasey, Brice, Hayden, Allie—tell me what your key points are."

"Well, I came up with it. My mom is dating someone 12 years younger than her right now. She's 46 and he'll be 34 next week. When I was reading the book, it came to my mind that they would be about the same age difference as Romeo and Juliet, just both of them generally younger. Why does it matter when they're young, but not when they're old?"

"Watch who you're calling old, Hayden," I joked. The class laughed. "You do raise a good point, though. Why was it common for girls to be married often before puberty—Juliet was almost past her prime, guys, she was thirteen. Then when they did marry, why would it would be to someone often twice their age? Anyone have an idea?"

And so it went on. For about ten minutes we stayed on the topic, until I glanced at the clock and saw we were running out of time. "All right, before we go on to the next topic, anyone have any closing statements? No? Ok. So, Emmett, Jordan, Tiffany, Edward—who would like to start with your topic?"

Loudmouth started. "Juliet's parents loved Paris—he was everything they were looking for for their little girl. Good breeding, money, probably very handsome. Juliet could have easily gained affection for him, had she just gotten to know him. But instead she chose to live in secrecy, hiding her marriage, terrified that her parents would find out she had married the offspring of a family they had multi-generational hatred for."

"That's the whole point of the story, though." Liz jumped in. "That love at first sight, true love, lasts longer than affection. Affection is only a step up from tolerance, at least that's how I think. Sure, she would have been comfortable with Paris, but she would never have had the passion she shared with Romeo. My aunt dated a guy my parents loved all through high school. They were engaged. Then my aunt met Catherine, and left Randy for her. My parents disowned her and Randy bad-mouthed her to all their friends; she lost everyone she knew except my dad. I asked her once if it was worth it and she said she'd do it all again without a moment's hesitation.

"She could have stayed with Randy and lived her life in contentment. But she would always wonder about the blonde beauty who was the only person to ever beat her at poker." The class chuckled. "She's very happy, and that goes a lot further than security, I think."

"Your aunt, does she live here?" Edward asked. Liz nodded. "That can't be easy. Let's face it, Montana's kind of a close-minded place when it comes to gays and lesbians. I would think that being ostracized from her family and friends would be the least of her worries. There's no safety net for them in jobs, in housing here. Maybe on paper, but not always in practice. Not to mention the possibility of physical attack added to the personal attacks. Do you really think that's worth the risk?"

"She does. So I have to trust her. That doesn't mean I don't worry about it all the time. But she's careful, and Cathy's careful, and nothing like that's happened so far. We just hope for the best."

Another ten or so minutes passed in discussion before I announced that it was time to change the topic again. "Jesse, Liz, Marcie, and Kayla—go."

"I've always hated this story. Mostly because of Romeo." There was a sharp murmur as Marcie spoke. "I mean, it's terrible! Romeo is all heartbroken at the beginning of the book. 'Oh, woe is me, Rosaline will never be mine, I'm never gonna be happy, I'm never gonna be in love again.' The guy is a whiny little twerp! Then all of a sudden he sees this Juliet chick, and it's like, 'who's Rosaline?' It's disgusting." The class burst out in laughter, and I couldn't help but join in. Marcie was easily the class clown, but she knew when enough was enough, unlike a lot of the others. She really was funny.

"I understand what you mean, Marcie. I used to have a great deal of respect for this play, but about ten years ago, someone opened my eyes to the reality of it. Romeo is a fool. He's fickle, deceptive, has a hot temper. Juliet never paused to think that given his deception toward his own family, he may not be the most trustworthy person she could be with. And vice versa. Romeo never took the time to think, 'if she's willing to lie to her parents, would she lie to me?' Another thing to consider—he killed Juliet's cousin, for heaven's sake! If that doesn't prove he's a jerk, I don't know what does. What if he lost his temper with Juliet? What if Juliet did something to make Romeo angry—who's to say he couldn't easily kill her, too! Then, to kill himself after he thought Juliet was dead. Who here would want their husband to commit suicide just because their dead?

"On the same note, Juliet was an idiot." The class was staring at me in shock; I'd never spoken this passionately, but I barely noticed. I was on a roll, and suddenly it wasn't Romeo and Juliet I was talking about, it was Edward and Isabella. "She goes against the natural course of her life, makes a stupid decision to trust someone who had shown no deed of merit, and gives up her family, indeed her whole life as she knows it, for this man, who had murdered her own flesh and blood! When he leaves, she is miserable, she just can't bring herself out of this pining, so what does she do? She fakes her death in order to be with this man she hardly knows. Her poor parents! Trust me—_no_ parent should see their child dead. She was selfish, and stupid.

"Romeo was a fool, and Juliet was an idiot."

My class just stared at me, some jaws slack. I chanced a peek at Edward. His fist was clenched over the table; I could see indents where his fingers had dug in to the pressed wood. He was grinding his teeth and his gaze was horrified. Emmett whispered something in his ear and Edward shot up out of his seat and barreled out of the room, his books and bag lying forgotten in his place.

"What's up with him?" Allie asked.

"Upset stomach. The whole family's got food poisoning," Emmett offered. He looked up at me with sad eyes.

I cleared my throat. "Ok. So, anyone else have an opinion on this subject?"

Jordan said something but I didn't hear it.

Edward didn't come back for his other class. I stashed his things under my desk before heading home for the weekend.

It had been almost two weeks since our fight, and he had yet to talk to me other than in class. I was both thankful and irritated at the same time, which only produced confusion in its wake. Why did I secretly want him to sneak in through my window at night and hold me like he used to, but at the same time I knew if he did it would only piss me off?

It was wrong of me to want him when things with Josh were going wonderfully. He was sweet, and funny, and he just…instinctually knew me. I found myself starting to fall for him. It terrified me and thrilled me and turned me into a giggly school girl. I always hated when girls acted like that, but I could understand now why they did—you just couldn't help it. Even more disturbing, I found I didn't mind being reduced to a pile of giggly mushy goo when Josh did something sweet. Fed me a bit of food off of his fork, or ruffled my hair or grabbed me around the waist from behind. It was years overdue to be acting like this and I reveled in the feeling.

I asked him to be at the apartment when Mike dropped Nicky off tonight. I was stirring the corn into the chicken chili when he knocked on my door.

"Come on in!" I shouted.

"Mmm…barefoot and in the kitchen. Just like I like 'em." He kissed my cheek and grabbed a drink from the fridge.

I hadn't changed out of my work clothes, a white feminine tank top with a flowery bolero over top, and a pair of my black slacks. My black ankle boots lay haphazardly by the door. My hair was still up in its messy bun. Josh pulled the band from my hair and ran his fingers through my wavy hair.

"Pig," I laughed. He laughed along with me and I turned down the stovetop. When I faced him I saw something strange on his face. "What the hell is that?"

"This?" he rubbed his upper lip.

"Yeah," I laughed.

"I'm growing a moustache. What do you think?"

I couldn't contain it. "You look like a bad porno star." I was doubled over laughing.

"Yes, it's working!" he fist-pumped the air. "Did someone order an _extra large_ pizza?"

I couldn't speak or breathe by this point. When I finally composed myself and straightened up, he was eyeing me over his bottle of Bud. He wiped a tear from my cheek. I didn't think I was laughing _that_ hard.

"Really, what do you think?"

"I dunno. Let's wait until it's past the 'pubescent teen' stage before we make judgments, huh?"

Josh just rolled his eyes and went to sit at the table.

I had just set the chili on simmer and grabbed myself a soda when Mike knocked on the door. I gave Josh a look that said, "here we go," and went to answer it.

"Mama!" Nicky threw his arms around my waist and I kissed his head.

"Hey, baby. How are you?"

"Good."

"Good. Dinner's ready, why don't you say goodbye to your dad and go wash up, ok?"

"Bye Daddy." Nicky hugged Mike and went to drop his stuff in his room.

"Thanks for dropping him off."

"Yep. You going to drop him off Sunday?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, I can do that. Did you remind him we have a counselor session tomorrow?"

"Yes. He's pretty nervous about it, so…" he trailed off. I was impressed. This was downright perky for Mike. Usually he took every opportunity to lay into me for something or another.

"'Kay. Well…thanks again."

"Yeah. Not a problem. I'll, uh, I'll see you Sunday I guess."

"See you then." I shut the door and came back into the kitchen to find Nicky sitting on Josh's lap. I smiled at the scene.

"You hungry buddy?" Nicky nodded and I served us all up chili and cornbread and salad. Nicky was yawning through the whole meal, so after dinner and a bath I sent him to bed. When I came out of his bedroom, Josh was sitting passed out on the couch. I smiled and came to curl up into him with my head on his lap. I threw a blanket over us and was almost immediately asleep.

* * *

When I woke up my head was on a pillow, the sun streaming through the curtains on the sliding door. There was a note on the coffee table—

_Bella, took Nicky to get some breakfast. You looked so peaceful sleeping I didn't want to wake you up. Call me when you're awake and I'll bring home some breakfast for you. Josh._

Well that was sweet. I called him and asked him to bring me back a steak omelet. I heard them come in while I was still in the shower, so I hurried up and changed into jeans and a flowy blue t-shirt and the same jewelry from the day before still laying next to my sink. I took a look at my hair and decided to forgo doing anything with it.

My stomach let out a loud gurgle when I saw and smelled the omelet waiting for me in a Styrofoam box. I kissed Nicky on the head as he went into his bedroom then threw myself into a chair and devoured my breakfast.

"Wow. Hungry are we?" Josh teased on his way to the bathroom.

I nodded and took another forkful.

Nicky came out of his room and sat down next to me. "Mama? When we leaving?" he asked very softly.

"The appointment's at 3:30, so we probably need to leave around 3:00. Why?"

"Can we go to the park before?"

I thought for a minute. We didn't have anything else going on today. "Sure, baby. We can go to the park."

"Can Emmett come?"

I almost dropped my fork.

"And Ro-lee?"

"Rosalie?"

"Yeah."

I swallowed a large bite and set down my fork. An idea popped into my head. "I'll tell you what, Nicky. I know it's hard, but why don't you call Emmett and ask him to come?"

Nicky looked scared at the prospect. He thought about it for a moment, then slowly nodded. "Ok."

"Ok." I got up and dumped the box in the trash, then grabbed my phone from the charger on the counter and handed it to Nicky. I scrolled down to Emmett's name—they'd all given their numbers when I was at their house the other weekend. I hit speaker.

"Hello?" Rosalie's melodious voice sounded through the phone.

Nicky just looked at the phone with wide eyes. I'm sure he hadn't thought to what he would do if she answered

"Hello? Bella?" Pause. "Bel-la?" she clicked her tongue. "Put your phone on lock, butt-dialer."

Nicky laughed out loud.

"Nicky? Is that you?"

"Y…Yes."

"Hey, sweetie. How are you?" her voice grew soft and gentle.

"Ok."

"Good. Is everything all right?"

"Yeah."

"What's on your mind?"

Nicky didn't speak for a minute. Josh came out of the bathroom and I held a finger up to him then my mouth, warning him to stay quiet for a moment.

"Nicky? You still there hon?"

"Yeah."

Josh's eyebrows raised in shock.

"What's going on?"

His answer was part out-loud, part whisper, but I knew Rosalie would be able to hear him anyway. "You…Emmett…p-park…?"

"I'd love to. And I know Emmett's been wanting to see you. What time?"

Nicky looked up at me in silent question. "One o'clock," I mouthed. Nicky repeated.

"Sounds great! The one just by your apartment?"

"Yeah."

"All right, I'll see you then, Nicky. Bye!"

"Bye, Ro-lee." He pressed End on the phone and I threw my arms around him.

"I'm so proud of you!" he smiled shyly back.

"Good job, Nicky," Josh said.

"Why don't you get ready and clean up your room before we go, baby?" Nicky ran into his room and I took the opportunity to hold Josh close to me.

"That was _so_ great," I sighed into his chest.

"Yeah. I'm really proud of him."

"Me too."

We ended up going to the park earlier than planned, just because Nicky was so wired. Josh and I talked and flirted while we were waiting for the Cullens. A bit later, a forest-green Jeep even more monstrous than the old one pulled up into the parking lot and Rosalie stepped out of the driver's seat in the most casual outfit I had ever seen her in—a pair of khaki Capris and a white button-down blouse with a purple jacket over it. Not even heels, just sandals. That really surprised me. Alice got out of the passenger seat. I should have guessed she would come. Jasper followed Emmett out of the back. I wasn't necessarily surprised to see Edward come out of the other side of the back, but irritation bit at me as he did.

_Well _this_ is the last thing I need…_

Emmett waved at me and then went straight to where Nicky was crossing the monkey bars and tickled his tummy. Rosalie went to sit on a swing and watched them, laughing. Alice, Jasper, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named came to sit next to Josh and I on a picnic table under a large maple tree raining golden leaves down on us with each blast of wind.

"Hey, Bella!" Alice chirped. She bent down to hug me and sat down next to me.

"Hi, Alice. How's it going?" Jasper took a seat across the table from Alice, Edward leaned against the end on his hip, arms crossed.

"Wonderfully! I'm going to Spokane next weekend, so I've been planning the trip. I'm so excited! You should come with me!" she flapped her hands in the air.

Spokane was the default town when one couldn't find what they needed in Missoula, a bit of a larger town than Kalispell about two hours away. Spokane was four hours out, across Idaho and just into Washington. The only reason anyone here went there was for shopping, as if Alice needed any other reason.

"Thanks, Alice, but no. You know how I feel about shopping."

"But it'll be so much fun! We can take in a show, and we'll get a room and have a girl's weekend. Rose and Esme are coming, too."

"I don't know…" She knew she had me already, but decided to go in for the kill anyway.

"You can get a massage."

That was the selling point right there.

"Fine. But if you put one smudge of nail polish or pull out some kind of over-done ball gown, I swear…"

"Yay!" she leaned forward and hugged me again.

"So, how do y'all know Bella anyway? Aren't you her student, Edward?" Josh asked.

"She used to babysit us," Alice cut in. She shot Edward a warning look. "When we moved here, we saw each other for the first time in forever. Small world, huh?"

"Small world, yeah…" Josh said. He looked at his watch. "Bella, I need to get going. I have to be at the restaurant in an hour."

"Ok." He gave me a kiss and said, "Call me tonight or tomorrow and let me know how it goes," he said.

"Will do. Bye."

"Bye, babe. Nice to meet all of you. Edward." He nodded at Edward and turned to go across the street, where his truck was still parked by the apartment. Oh, God, had his butt always looked _that_ good? Jasper cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably.

"Sorry."

He just raised his eyebrow at me with a little smirk on his face.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say a thing, Bella."

"You were thinking it."

Jasper just rolled his eyes with that stupid smile. I huffed.

A scream sounded from the swing set. Emmett had Nicky going so high on the swing the chain went slack. Nicky was kicking his legs and screeching happily each time the swing dropped.

Cha-_thunk_! "Ahh-ha-ha-ha!" Cha-_thunk_! "Ahh-hahaha-ha-ha!" I laughed along with everyone else at the table. I hadn't seen Nicky this happy in a long, long time. I felt eyes on my face and looked up at Edward without changing my expression. The look on his face was curious and considering. I arched an eyebrow at him and he just shrugged and looked back to the swings.

"So, Bella. Tell me about Josh," Alice said after a few minutes. Edward not-so-subtly shoved off from the table and went to stroll around the grass.

"What do you want to know?"

"How did you meet?"

"He's my boss at the diner."

"Really? That doesn't bug you?"

I shrugged. "No. I don't get any special treatment, and I like it that way. I would feel bad if he cut me slack just for being his girlfriend."

"So you guys are exclusive then?"

Another shrug. "I guess. I mean, we haven't said it out loud, but I know I wouldn't date anyone else right now, and I don't think he would either."

"How do you feel about him?" she was steadily leaning closer and closer to me with a sly look on her face.

"Do you mind if we talk about this later, Alice? I don't really feel comfortable doing it with your brother here." I cut my gaze to Edward, who was lying on his back contemplating the overcast sky. It was fairly warm for this time of year, but still too cold for my liking.

"Sure. I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

She fished around for another topic. I loved Alice, but she felt like something needed to be said at all times. I reveled in quiet.

"So…what brought you to Montana of all places? I figured you would go back to Arizona after you graduated or something."

"It's a long story."

"I've got a lot of time."

I laughed. "I guess you do." I sighed. "Ok, um…after you…left…" I swallowed hard. "I started to date Mike. About a year after we graduated, I got pregnant. Mike and I got married, and he had a lot of family in Billings. I finished my teaching degree there while raising Grace. Mike was on a fast-track to being a lawyer, and graduated about a year before me. A couple of months before Nicky was born, his aunt moved here to Kalispell, so Mike wanted to follow. That's pretty much it."

I looked out at Nicky and Rosalie going down the slide together. He had a puppy-love look in his eye that made me smile.

"Bella?" Alice took my hand. "What happened to Grace?"

I exhaled a shaky breath. The hole started crumbling apart. I looked to where Edward was and saw him sitting up in the longish grass, staring at me intently. "She drowned." I was so used to telling the lie I knew it wouldn't register with them. My heart didn't speed up anymore telling it. "A year ago last Fourth of July." A couple of traitor tears slipped down my cheek onto the picnic table. Alice squeezed my hand as Edward started making his way over with that determined look in his eye. I couldn't talk to him now.

"Nicky! Nicky, come on, it's time to go!" Emmett swung him over his shoulder and came running across the playground. "Put your coat on, baby, we gotta get going."

"But I'm having fun with Emmett!"

I hid my glee at him actually exclaiming out around other people. "I know, but we have to get to your appointment." His shoulders slumped and he nodded. He shrugged into his jacket as I hugged Alice good-bye.

"So you're in for next weekend?" she asked.

"I suppose."

"Great! I'll give you a call next week and let you know of all the details." We said our good-byes by the Jeep and headed back to the apartment.

"Go ahead and change into something nicer, baby," I said as we got through the door.

"Why?"

"Because your clothes are dirty, and I don't want you wearing dirty play-clothes to your counselor's."

"Uggh."

"Watch your attitude, Nicky."

* * *

"All right, Nicky, our time's up for today. Why don't you go out into the waiting room while I speak to your mom, ok?" Nicky nodded and left quietly. I heaved a sigh.

"Well?" I asked. It had been another day of frustrating silence from Nicky. Dr. Lacey, his counselor, had asked him yes-or-no questions, only a handful of which he had moved his head to. She asked him to draw a picture before I had come into the room; I had yet to see it. She pulled it out from her drawer and held it out to me.

"Do you know these people, Bella?" she asked.

It was a picture of me, Josh, Nicky, and the Cullens—three of them. The bulky character could only be Emmett. He was standing to the right of Rosalie, who had Nicky in front of her, arms crossed lovingly over his chest. I assumed it was Edward who stood to the left of Rosalie, holding hands with me; Josh in his cowboy hat was on the other side with his arm around my shoulders. Everyone but Edward and I had big smiles on their faces.

I nodded. "Those are some friends of mine. We spent some time at the park with them today."

"Has he spoken to any of them?" Dr. Lacey asked.

I nodded again. "He speaks to Rosalie. That one—" I pointed to her. "It's only simple words, usually in answer to her, but he talks. Emmett, that one there, he loves. They horse around and play games often."

"And the other two?"

"The one on the right is Edward, Rosalie and Emmett's brother; the one on the left is Josh, he's a man I've been dating."

"Does Nicky know that you and Josh are dating?"

"Um…I don't think so. We've been seeing each other for about three weeks, and this is Nicky's second weekend being around us when we're alone together. He's my boss at my second job, so if I have to work when I have Nicky, Josh sets him up in his own booth, gives him food and toys and stuff. So, he's known Josh for about nine months, but we've only been dating for, like I said, three weeks."

"And does Nicky talk to Josh at all?"

"No. But he does climb onto his lap, and play and laugh with him."

"That's good. Did Nicky tell you why he chose to talk to Rosalie?"

"Not in so many words…" Dr. Lacey cocked her head with an inquisitive smile on her lips. "Rosalie is…built like Heidi Klum."

She laughed. "I see."

"Yeah. So he's just smitten with her. I think that's why he talks to her."

"Ok. Tell me about the other man. Edward, is it?"

"What about him?"

"Do you know why Nicky is depicting Edward holding your hand? And why neither of you are smiling when the rest are?"

I looked back at the picture. "I honestly don't know. There's nothing going on with Edward or I. He's my student. In fact, Emmett is also, and Rosalie goes to the school I teach at. I really have no idea about that part."

She nodded. "All right. Well, we'll have to keep that in mind, and try to find a way to bring that up, to ask Nicky about Edward." She glanced at the clock. "Ok, we have about five minutes left. Are there any questions you want to ask me?"

"Yes, actually, there is something. I know that Nicky doesn't really like Amanda. He's told me this. But I also know that he adores Josh. I know that he talks to his future step-mom, even if it's just, 'yes, no, ok, goodnight' that sort of thing. Josh talks to him with kindness and respect. I just don't get why he hasn't even said hi to him."

She smiled. "You should feel good about that."

"Why?"

"It seems to me that Nicky is afraid of Amanda. I've seen them interact on occasion, and she's…very overbearing of him. Nicky doesn't speak to Josh because he's comfortable around him; he doesn't feel pressured or forced to speak. I think that the more Nicky gets to know Josh the more he'll open up."

Huh. "I never thought about it like that. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Is there anything else?"

"How would be the best way to tell him that we're dating?"

"Hmm…that's tricky. I would just make sure he's in a good mood, somewhere familiar, and have Josh there. I don't think it's going to be a problem, honestly, knowing Nicky. Just keep it real."

"Yeah. Ok."

"All right. So I'll guess I'll see you next month then?" Dr. Lacey stood up and shook my hand from across the desk. She led me out and shut the door behind me.

Nicky was in the waiting room, finding hidden pictures in a kids' magazine. "You ready to go?" He nodded and set the magazine down on the couch. He held my hand on the way out with a death grip. As we settled into the truck, I sighed hard. "Well I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for dinner. Where do you want to go?" Nicky's eyes lit up.

"Can we go to the diner? Please?"

"I figured you would want to go to Wendy's or something like that." I hated fast-food, nearly as much as it hated my digestive system, but I indulged Nicky in it on days like this. It surprised me when he asked for the diner.

"Nah. I want to see Josh."

"Ok. What do you think of Josh, Nicky?"

"He's nice."

"Yeah? What's so nice about him?"

"He doesn't be mean to me. Or yell at me. He plays with me more than Daddy does." Nicky looked down to his lap, where his hands were twisting around.

I nodded, unable to think of a response for that one. "Well…I'm glad you like him."

I pulled into the parking lot to the diner a few minutes later. Nicky ran through the door straight up to Josh and ploughed into his legs as he was taking an order.

"Hey, buddy."

"Nicky! Don't do that. Come here, you know better than that. I'm sorry Josh. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson." The elderly regulars just smiled at Nicky.

"It's all right, Bella. We don't mind. How are you, Nicky?" Mrs. Johnson asked. Nicky just sort of waved from behind Josh's legs. I grabbed his hand and led him to a booth after saying hi to them.

I was just scolding Nicky for interrupting when Josh came by.

"Hey, guys."

"Hey."

"What are you two up to?"

"Just getting some dinner."

"Ah. How did it go today?"

"It was all right. How has it been here? You look slammed." I gestured to the almost-empty restaurant. "I swear, I saw a tumbleweed blow out the door on my way in."

"Actually, we've been busy until about a half-hour ago." He smiled at me. "So, what can I get you guys?" he asked.

I loved that I was able to joke and tease with Josh. I was never able to do that with Mike, he'd get mad or annoyed with me if I used the tiniest bit of sarcasm. I'd laughed more in the past three weeks than I remember laughing since…well, that was just the thing. I didn't ever remember laughing so much.

We ordered our dinner, and shared a piece of pie before going home. Josh sneaked a kiss from me without Nicky seeing before leaving. At home Nicky and I played checkers and watched a movie until we were both yawning and struggling to keep our eyes open.

It was nice to crawl into bed after such a long day. Underneath my blankets was warm and comfortable. It wasn't long until I was asleep.

_ATV's with rotating lights. Reporters shoving microphones in my face. Nicky. Where's Nicky? I'm running and running, but the sand weighs me down, makes it virtually impossible to move. I'm running, running, but I can't move. Behind me, policemen and reporters chase me for interviews. Why? My daughter just died and all I want was to find my son…why can't I reach him? He must be so scared…I start calling out to him, but the more I scream, the closer the people following me get, the more frantically they wave papers and cameras at me. It would end the same as it always did, I knew it, but I couldn't stop it. I would fall in the ocean and drown, then wake up with my pillow sopping wet from tears, and unable to breathe, choking on air._

"_Bella."_

_Who is calling me? This isn't how it normally goes._

"_Bella, angel, wake up."_

_Angel? Am I an angel? Am I dead already?_

"_Isabella! Wake up!"_

Rough shaking woke me suddenly. My pillow was wet with tears and my throat was sore from yelling. It took me a moment to register the whisperings in my ear weren't from the dream.

"Shh…Bella, it's ok. It's all right, my Bella, hush. Shhh…" My crying lessened to whimpers and then to a few stray tears. I turned around, still wrapped in cold arms.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Alice told me to come. She wouldn't say why, just that you needed me. Do you…do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "Can't. No, I can't." I started crying again.

"It's ok, it's ok. You don't have to." He tucked my head under his chin.

"Nicky?"

"He's still asleep. He didn't even hear you." We were silent for a few minutes, until Edward spoke up. "Are you all right now?" his voice was very soft.

"Yeah." It was true enough for what he meant.

He squeezed me closer for a moment, then let go of me and started to get up. I held onto him with a death grip. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"Home. I know you probably don't want me here. I just…wanted to be here for you." He tried to pry himself from me again. I gripped him even tighter.

"Stay?" I knew I would regret it in the morning, but right now, this moment, I needed Edward. I would deal with the repercussions later.

"You're sure?" he asked.

"Yes."

"All right." He lowered himself back down and pulled me closer so I was resting on his chest. I sighed in contentment. Tonight Edward would stay. I would sleep nestled into his shoulder, with his arm around me. I wouldn't have another nightmare.

Tonight I would sleep in Edward's arms, pretending things were like they were.

Tomorrow could bring what it may.


	7. I Hate Shopping

**Hello to all my wonderful readers! And a special thank you to my reviewers. There would be no story without you. Ok, there would, but it would suck more.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter, we're taking a little trip to Spokane today. **

**S.M. owns Twilight. I own a pretty new gold and burgundy comforter set...so gorgeous! I'm excited.**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Seven: I hate shopping**

When I woke up in the morning, Edward was gone and I could see why. The sun was actually up today, bright and vibrant and cheerfully contrary to how I really felt after last night.

I remembered the nightmare. I knew that had happened without a doubt. But had Edward really come to my rescue? I lifted my head and looked to the spot next to me. The blankets were rumpled. As if to prove it once and for all, there was a note taped to my dresser mirror in his slick beautiful handwriting.

_My Bella—I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from your nightmare last night. I do hope I was able to lessen the pain of it a bit by being there at least. I had to leave early—I'm sure you can see why by looking outside. I didn't want to have to wake you. Have a pleasant day. All my love, Edward._

_Stupid damn vampire! _

"All my love." Hah. I tried desperately to act indignant, clinging to the one scrap of injustice he offered me in the letter. If I was truthful, though? I was grateful that he had been there for me last night. I'd been able to lose myself next to him, to go to sleep. After ten years, he still knew me almost better than I knew myself, and it got under my skin.

I punched my pillow in frustration. I thought I was past all this high-school-musical drama shit.

* * *

"Bella, come on! The mall opens at nine!" Alice pounded on my bedroom door.

"How did you get into my apartment?" I grouched as I pulled my panties on. Alice burst into the room. "I'm half naked, Alice!"

"Yeah, and I see myself _fully _naked every day. It's not a big deal. Now come _on_!" She dumped a plastic shopping bag on my bed and pointed at it. "Put those on." She snapped my boyshorts over my ass and rooted around in my closet while I pulled out the first article out of the bag. Sighing, I put the bra on. Stupid strapless instrument of terror.

"Did you know where my spare key was?" I asked her. She just shot me a sarcastic look and continued to rummage through my clothes, appraising what I would need, I assumed. "Right. Forgot who I was talking to for a minute there." Alice tossed a shirt onto my bed and I pulled it on without argument. It was a soft brown shirt with lace from the elbows and top of the chest up that my mom had given me two years prior. I think I had worn it once, for fifteen minutes on a webcam chat—yes, my mom had mastered webcam use finally—to thank her for the shirt, then promptly shed it and wadded it in the back corner of the closet. It was pretty, but I had to wear a strapless bra with it, and I hated them with a passion.

I would never admit it to her, for fear of spurring her on, but Alice had done a good job. This strapless wasn't half-bad as far as they went.

Still, though. "You realize you're going to pay for this, right Alice?" I asked.

"Blood, sweat, tears, or a bookstore?" she asked, stepping out of my closet with a dress dangling from her fingers, holding it up next to me in consideration.

"Seeing as you don't have three out of the four, it would have to be the bookstore."

"The jeans, too." I pulled them out of the bag and shimmied into them. They fit well, if a bit too tight at the calf. I saw why they needed to be tight when I dug into the bottom of Alice's Bag O' Torment.

"No."

"Bel-_la_! You have to!"

"Why do I have to wear these?"

"Because you're from Montana!"

"I'm from the Olympic Peninsula, not here. Besides, it's only on the other side of the mountains where Montanans wear these." Well, mostly anyway.

"What about Josh?"

"He's from the far eastern side."

"Great, so he'll appreciate you wearing the getup. Put them on and send him a picture."

"Alice—"

"You promised as long as it wasn't some kind of over-done ball gown…"

I growled unimpressively at her and tugged the stupid cowboy boots over my feet. I tried to pull the jeans over them, but they were molded too snugly to my legs. _Stupid damn vampire._ She thought of everything, didn't she?

Hell would have to freeze over before I ever wore the hat, though.

Rosalie and Esme were waiting in Carlisle's Mercedes.

"Why aren't we taking Rose's BMW? I thought that was the plan? Not that I'm complaining," I said as I slid into the back seat.

"Forecast changed," Alice said simply. "Looks like it's going to be sunny on-and-off around Coeur d'Alene, so we had to take the car with the tint just in case. And we have to leave before noon tomorrow, because the sun's going to be out at about one and follow us home."

"Bella, do you need to stop for anything on the way out?" Esme asked from the passenger seat.

"No. I'm good. Thanks."

"All right then. Just let me know when you need to stop."

"Ok, music. Music." Rosalie tossed a small CD holder into my lap and I rummaged through it. I hadn't heard most of it, but found a CD that one of the girls in my second period had been raving about, so handed it up and sat back. It was hip-hop, and I recognized the first couple of songs vaguely, probably from commercials.

"Ok, Bella. I've waited _all_ week, now spill!"

"I'm sorry?" I turned to Alice as Rosalie twisted in her seat to face us.

"You are going to tell me about Josh, and you're going to tell me right now!"

"Jeez, we aren't even off of Main Street and you're bombarding me?" I asked incredulously.

"I've waited long enough." Her voice had that dangerous tenor that told me there was no way out of this.

"Fine. What do you want to know?"

"How did you meet?"

"I told you already. He's my boss."

"First impression?"

"Geeky in a charming way."

"And now?"

"Charming in a geeky way."

Alice sneered at me in response to my sarcasm.

It went on like that for—I am not even kidding—45 minutes. We stopped in a visitor center in a rinky-dink town halfway there when I had to pee. I'd forgotten that even Esme drove like a maniac, and the normal two hours to the center took less than half that time.

"Bella! I haven't gotten to the big questions yet!"

"Yeah, but I squeezed two kids outta me! My bladder's not what it used to be; I gotta pee!" I wrenched my way out of the car, stretched and popped and creaked, then headed to the bathroom. My phone had buzzed as we entered cell service again, but I didn't want to check it in the car with Little-Ms. Oh-My-God-And-What-Did-He-Say-Then hovering over me.

**Bella—just wanted to say hi and have fun. Be careful. I'll call you tonight, ok? Can't wait till I get to see you again, babe. Josh.**

I smiled at his text. I didn't tell Alice all the details, but things were getting very heated between Josh and I. Just last night we had been about five minutes from him staying over until I reminded him about the trip. Just remembering the way he had touched me last night had me rubbing my legs together. Oh, the feeling of his fingers slipping inside of me was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Mike's idea of foreplay had always been getting me drunk enough to let him touch me at all.

My second text did not make me smile.

**Have a safe trip. **

Have a safe trip? That's all? Not even a name at the end, or a 'have fun'? I didn't even recognize the number, but I didn't have to be a genius to figure out it was Edward. I sighed heavily and put my phone in my pocket.

Alice and Rosalie were looking at the little trinkets and gaudy rhinestone-clad things embellished with quotes written in glitter. They were shaking with laughter.

"You done? Can we get back on the road?" Alice asked.

I nodded my head and followed them out. Funny, how a trip for a shopping spree felt so much like a prisoner being marched to death row.

Another hour later and we were in Spokane. I liked Spokane well enough, but it didn't have the feel that Seattle did. Seattle was, despite constantly gloomy in weather, fresh-feeling and energetic. Spokane had a bit of a run-down feeling, and tended to make me feel claustrophobic.

Esme stopped at a deli so I could grab a late breakfast, then we had some time to kill before we had to check into the hotel. Alice—being, well, Alice—decided that we were going to hit the mall before going to the shops downtown.

We were in a hip chain store on the upper level when my phone buzzed again with a text.

**Did you make it there all right?**

I ignored the text and continued trying on shirt after shirt that Alice was throwing over the stall door.

When 2:30 came around, we went and checked into the hotel. Alice, Rose, and Esme decided to go hunting around the area tonight while I slept, so I didn't understand the need to go to a fancy hotel like the one they were putting me up in. A cheap place would have been just as well, and I would have been able to afford it myself and spare the fifteen-minute argument about the Cullens paying for everything. I already knew to just accept it when it came to clothes; apparently the rule went for everything else as well.

As I was admiring the room, with its large plush bed, wall-mounted TV, and a tub I could lay full out in, my phone rang with a third text message.

**Bella, you're starting to worry me. Will you at least text me to let me know you are all right?**

I rolled my eyes. What did he think was going to happen? His mother was driving, and she and his sisters were escorting me everywhere. What, did he think the sidewalk would just open up and swallow me whole or something?

Eh. Knowing my luck, it probably would, but still. He was getting to be really annoying.

Rosalie and Alice were discussing where to go next, and Esme had gone AWOL somewhere between the lobby and here. Huh.

_Where could she be?_

I shrugged to myself and took the opportunity to look through the bags upon bags from the mall. I had condensed as much as I could, stuffing things from stores into different bags where they had room, but I still ended up with four large bags filled bursting with clothes, accessories, and random things Alice said I "just can't live without!"

My question was how, if she claimed I couldn't live without it, how had I survived before now?

I was pondering a pretty denim skirt that I could probably pull off in school, when my phone sounded yet again.

**Isabella—call me, text me, something. Please. I am going crazy over here.**

I don't know what it was, but some childish instinct told me not to answer him. This was _my_ weekend. I never got a break, and I was not letting him get in the way of it.

"All right, Bella, you ready to go?" Alice brought me out of my fuming.

"Yeah." I stood up from the bed and pulled my shirt over my waist. "Where are we going?" I asked as I shrugged my coat on and followed them out the door.

"A few shops here and there. Esme was setting up our appointments for tomorrow at the spa. She's out in the car in front waiting for us now." Across the street, I grabbed a cup of coffee, thinking I would need it before getting in the car and driving to my certain doom. Ok, maybe I was exaggerating a _little bit_.

I was watching the city pass by me when several things happened at once.

My phone alerted me to another text.

Esme answered a phone call from Carlisle.

Alice suddenly growled and yelled, "He had better not ruin my day!"

Alice's exclamation startled me and I jumped and spilled hot coffee all over my lap.

"Shit! Holy shit, fuckity fucker!" I screamed in pain, half bouncing in my seat.

"No, I think she's all right, Carlisle. She just spilled coffee on herself."

"Fucking Alice fucking made me do it! Shit!" My thighs and crotch felt like they were lit on fire.

"Do you have those bottles of water up there, Rose?" Alice asked. Rosalie handed one to Alice and she unscrewed the cap and moistened a scrap of cloth she had produced out of nowhere. "Take your pants off, Bella."

"What? You shitting me?" We were on the freeway, with people all around us, and she wanted me to take my freaking pants off?

"The windows are tinted, Bella," Alice said as if I was a child.

_Oh. Yeah._

I gingerly unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, pulling them down carefully. "Shit," I hissed as they went over my legs and dropped to the floor. My panties were completely soaked, too.

"Those, too Bella. We're all women here."

"It's not the women I worry about. It's a certain thought-seeing brother of yours," I grumbled. I pulled them down, too, though and took the cloth from Alice. I gently wiped my legs and crotch with the soothing cold cloth. Alice pointed at my vagina with her mouth slack.

"When did you start doing _that_?"

"Um…are you seriously asking me that?"

"Yes! When?"

I shrugged and dabbed more. "Right after Mike and I started…you know. Having sex. It was just easier." I had mopped up most of the burning coffee, but it still stung so I kept the cloth over my legs. Great. All of my clothes were at the hotel. What was I going to do?

"Well, at least we can mark that off the spa list."

"Alice! You were going to have me waxed?" I shuddered. "That's just too painful for words."

"You shave?"

"Does this look like a wax job? Jeez, I can't even believe I'm having this discussion with you."

"Esme, pull over on the next exit, please. I'll stop in a store and grab Bella something to wear."

I remembered why I had burned myself as Esme started weaving through to the right lane, still talking quietly with Carlisle on the phone.

"Alice, why did you yell?" I asked.

Her face darkened.

"Check your phone. I'm sure that will tell you all you need to know." I bent over and pulled my cell out of my pants which were pooled at my feet. At the same time, Alice got on her own phone.

**I'm coming over there.**

"What? Uggh. That idiot."

"Edward, she is _fine_. Don't you dare come over here, this is a girls' day only!" _Pause_ "She's fine!"_ Pause_ "What did Carlisle say?" _Pause_ "Yeah, she spilled coffee on herself but she's just fine! No, she's not—"_pause_—"no, don't you dare. It's not even a burn! It's just red!" _Pause_ "Edward Anthony Masen, if you come within twenty miles of Spokane Valley, I will personally turn you into a burning purple cloud of death, do you understand me?" She hung up without waiting for a response and became stark-still, looking for the future. She sighed in frustration after a minute.

"He'll be here tonight. He wants to make sure you're not hurt and then he'll leave."

I leaned back into the seat in irritated resignation. We all knew there was no stopping Edward.

* * *

My feet ached. My back hurt. My jeans were rubbing my burn the wrong way, and I was hungry. I leaned against the wall in the elevator after waving the girls off to do their own thing. I would be fine getting to the room on my own, I assured them. Alice and Rose had drug me to every single store in this God-forsakenly large town, and my body was beyond weary as proof. All I wanted to do was eat the pizza I had picked up, take a long bath, and crawl into bed. It was already well past ten; eleven in Montana.

I let the tub fill as I wolfed down my dinner, then stripped, grabbed one of my new books from the eighth—yes, eighth—bag I looked through, and slipped under the water, sighing contentedly.

I was halfway through the first chapter when my phone rang from the ledge. I smiled as I recognized the ringtone.

"Hey, handsome."

"Hey. How's it going?" Josh asked from the other end.

"It's…going." I chuckled. "I've had a very long day, let's put it that way."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Just sore. I was non-stop today. And I burned myself."

"What?" I loved the way his voice rose in concern. "Why? What happened?"

"I just spilled coffee on my lap. No big deal. The embarrassing part was that I had to take my jeans and underwear off in the car in front of the girls."

"Wish I was there."

"Very funny. Do you know how embarrassing it was to be totally bare from the waist down in front of a student? Not only a student, but one I used to babysit, _and_ her mother and sister?" At least it would be true enough to get across just how mortified I was, even if it was for different reasons, technically.

Josh was laughing. "Oh, wow. Yeah, that would be embarrassing. Wait, wait. Can I write this down, please? 'Dear Penthouse…' I think it has potential."

"I'm going to hang up on you, I swear." My words held no authority, however, because I was laughing my ass off along with him.

When we had calmed down somewhat, Josh spoke again. "I just wanted to wish you a good night, babe."

"Oh. Well thanks. That's sweet of you."

"Have a good night."

"You too. 'Night."

We hung up and I stayed in the bath another fifteen or so minutes. I pulled the plug and took a quick shower, washing away all the stress of the day.

And, when I walked into the main room wearing nothing but a low-slung towel draped around my chest, who should be leaning against the wall, waiting for me, but my own personal stalker? He startled me being there, and I jumped and yelped.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I narrowed my eyes at him, then stomped to the pile of bags on the bed, rummaged through them until I found the Victoria's Secret bag, grabbed a pair of pajamas, and went back to the bathroom to change. I brushed my hair and teeth, took a deep breath, and came back out to face him.

"I'm fine. See? Ok? You happy now?" He grimaced at my tone and I sighed. It wasn't really his fault. I knew how he was, he couldn't help himself. "I'm sorry. I've had a trying day. Not that that's an excuse, but…I'm sorry." I forced my eyes away from his gaze and rummaged in my purse for my cigarettes, simultaneously walking toward the balcony. I lit one up and leant over the railing. The height made me dizzy, but I relished any feeling that took focus away from the eyes burning holes into my back. I didn't realize Edward was on the balcony until my cigarette was suddenly gone from my fingers.

"What gives?" I said angrily.

"It's bad for you."

"So are you, but yet here you stand next to me."

"Why did you even start? The Bella I knew abhorred cigarettes." He pondered the glowing stick he was twirling in his long lithe fingers. My mind couldn't help but flash to last night, with Josh's hand doing things that turned my brain into a puddle. But Josh's hands were shorter, his fingers thicker. I had always swore that men with rough, calloused hands wouldn't be good at that sort of thing, but he proved me completely wrong. Edward cleared his throat loudly; I snapped myself out of it and answered his question angrily.

"You left the Bella you knew on the floor of a forest. _This Bella_ was looking for a distraction from misery when she picked up her first cigarette at a kegger at Lauren Mallory's party." I tried to snatch it from him but he flicked it over the railing before I could get close. I scoffed and turned back into the room. The clock showed almost one a.m. Had I really been in the bath that long? Urgh. I had to get up in time for the 8:00 appointment for the damn spa tomorrow. Or today, technically.

The Ever Annoying One followed me into the room, snapping the door shut behind him and closing the curtains.

"Why didn't you answer any of my texts? I was worried sick about you."

"Really? Vampires can get sick?" I asked with sarcastic enthusiasm. Edward didn't acknowledge what I'd said other than to raise one eyebrow. "Oh, my God! It's none of _your_ business how I was!"

"Is it Josh's business?"

_Did he really just take this there?_

"Yes! Because he is my boyfriend. Unlike certain obsessive people who don't know when to quit."

"Boyfriend? I wasn't aware that you two had decided to be exclusive, with the titles and whatnot. Moving up, are we?" His voice held as much acidity as mine did, and it only served to fuel me on.

"Yes. My boyfriend. And while we may not have made it exclusive in so many words, I know there's no one else I would date right now, and I think he feels the same way. He does all the things a boyfriend should do. He takes me on dates. He laughs with me, and he asks me how my day was. I make dinner for him, we watch movies, he takes me out and holds my hand. He holds me. He kisses me. He touches me."

Edward curled a lip at me. "Is that why I can smell his seed all over you?" Edward looked like he wanted to take the words back before I even registered what he said. He straightened his back and held his palms up like he was talking down a man with a gun. "I'm sorry, Bella. That was out of line. Please, please forgive me."

"What do you mean?" I knew I had used soap to shower, I hadn't been that out of it last night or twenty minutes ago, when I had showered. I sniffed at my still-damp hair.

"Nothing, Bella. Just forget I said anything." He turned to rifle through a shopping bag from some trendy place Alice had insisted on taking me to.

"No way, you're not getting off that easy. Just what the hell do you mean by that?" I got up and gripped his chin, jerking his face to mine. He gently took my wrist and lowered it; he took a step back and sighed.

"I just mean…no matter how hard you scrub, some smells take longer than others to wash out."

"But we didn't…have sex." God, was I really having this conversation?

"That may be, but the smell of arousal lingers for a long time." He cleared his throat. "So did you have fun with Alice? I see she got you some very nice things."

"Nice attempt at changing the subject. You are still in _so_ much trouble right now."

"I'm trying, Bella. Humor me?" He raised his eyes, while still pawing through the bag. He shot his eyes back to his hands and stilled his movements for a moment before pulling out a cashmere V-neck sweater, one of the few things I had actually asked for today.

It was stupid, I know. Yes, I could have argued that I loved cashmere, which I did. But soft wool would have felt fine, and looked great also.

I could have argued that I had the perfect color camisole at home that would go very well with the color of the low-cut top.

I could have even argued that I suspected Alice would have forced it on me anyway and I was trying to spare her feelings by pretending to be at least a little interested in shopping.

They would have all been lies. In truth, it was the same color blue as the shirt I had worn that day, long ago, when I had met Edward's parents for the first time.

The shirt that still smelled like him, that I had hiding between my mattress and box spring, for bad days when I needed some kind of comfort that no other person or thing could offer.

The look on Edward's face as he held the soft fabric close to the neck on my skin told me he knew, also.

"I know where you keep the shirt. It surprised me immensely when I found it the other night." His voice was a bare whisper, but I caught it easily in the tense silence. He tossed the shirt on the bed behind me and brought his hand to cup my neck. Despite my anger, I felt myself relaxing as he touched me. "You can act as hard as you want, Isabella. I know you still feel for me. You know it too, buried inside yourself somewhere. I'll bring it out, if it's the last thing I do. That's a promise."

Edward straightened, moved his hand to the back of my head so he could hold it in place, and kissed my hair.

"I'll fight for you. I'll do anything to keep you."

He was gone, out the front door before I could ask him to stay.

No, I told myself. I really, truly didn't wish I could have found the voice to call after him, to beg him to.

I couldn't even totally convince myself.

* * *

"You like it?"

"It's…different," I said, palming my hair.

"But do you like it?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"You guess so?"

"I mean, I've never had short hair before."

"I wouldn't really call it short. It's still below your shoulders." She touched where the hairfell, just above the bottom of my shoulder blades.

"I've never had it above my waist since I was a kid. It's weird. Like a part of me has been chopped off."

Kimber nodded and smiled at me. We were sitting in my apartment Sunday night, going over her homework from my class, which she was struggling with. Struggling was a loose word, she just did not understand it. I was glad I lived so close to her so I could help her out. It's something I wish I could do for all of my students. I was dead tired, it was close to midnight, and I was going to have to say good-bye to Kimber soon if either of us had a chance of staying awake tomorrow. We both had been yawning for the past half-hour.

She sat back down on the floor across the coffee table from me. "I just ain't getting it."

I tried once again to think of some way to explain it to her. She had been having a hard time understanding underlying meanings of stories, and I was running out of ways to try to get the point across to her. I had started out telling her a quote—"You can't see the forest for all of the trees."

That just led to a twenty-minute discussion about what the quote itself meant.

"Ok, Kimber we're going to have to wrap this up. I didn't get any sleep last night, and I desperately need some. Can we pick this up on Tuesday?" I asked. She nodded. "Ok. So, I want you to go over this tomorrow." I handed her a poem filled with underlying meanings. "Stop at the end of each line and think—what could this be a symbol for? Like this—" I pointed to a particular couple of sentences. "What does the author mean when he compares this relationship to a lilac blossom?"

Kimber shrugged. "It's…beautiful?"

"Yes, there you go. But there's more to it than that. How long does a lilac blossom last? Only a few weeks, if that, right?" Kimber nodded again. "I know it doesn't come right out and say it, but there's underlying hints that it was short-lived. This is just one of many."

We said our good-byes and I assured her I would give her a ride tomorrow. I cleaned the living room up, showered, and laid down on my bed. The pillow crinkled under my head—that was odd. I felt underneath it and came up with an envelope addressed to me. With shaking hands, I opened the flap and pulled out the letter inside.

_Isabella—_

_I'm very sorry of how I acted last night. It was uncalled for, and I can only ask for your forgiveness. I did mean what I said, however, when I told you I would fight for you. You can bet I'll fight dirty if I have to. You belong with me, and deep down you know it. I love you, my sweet flower. My lilac blossom. _

_I'm sorry for the expression. I couldn't help but eavesdrop. Forgive me that, also, if you can find it in you. _

_All my love, your Edward. _

I ran my fingers over the imprint the pen had left in the page.

Let him fight all he wanted. He'd have to fight dirty if he really wanted me that bad.

Without even thinking, I reached down and felt the sleeve of the blue shirt peeking out from under my mattress. I tugged it free and held it to me as I fell asleep.

Yes, I told myself. He would definitely have to fight very, very hard.

* * *

**Who's she fooling? Show of hands? Anyone? Ha. Didn't think so. See you next time!**


	8. Perfect Snow Angels

**Yay! More reviews! Thank you everyone! No B.S. this time. I'll just let you get to the story.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight things. I only have some truly strange baby cravings...pickles with bananas. Eeeuuugh.**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter 8: Perfect Snow Angels**

I hated how weak I became. Over the years I had become self-sufficient. I could do everything on my own, even change my own tire. In the snow on a mountain pass. How many women could say they did that single-handedly? But when it came to the Cullens being back in my life? It seemed like I couldn't do anything on my own.

I held my cell phone in my hand, bit the bullet, and pressed call. The voice on the other end answered immediately.

"Hello?"

"I need you. Please come over, I can't finish this on my own. I just don't even know where to start this time."

"Five minutes," came the excited voice. I could hear the purr of an engine on the other line. "Be ready. Don't even bother putting anything on."

"Thank you," I exhaled. I sat on my bed only wearing lacy blue panties and a matching bra. I heard the door open and slam closed, and the sound of hurried footsteps on the hallway, uncharacteristically loud for a vampire.

My own bedroom door burst open.

"Where do I start?" Alice asked. "You should have called earlier. Look at you, you didn't even attempt to do your hair!"

"Thank you so much, Alice. I owe you," I groveled, silently praying that she wouldn't take it as invite to pick out my daily outfits. That was the last thing I needed.

"Please. You know I love doing this. I just wish you had given me time to do more. Why did you even call me? Not that I'm not thrilled, but your fashion sense has gotten so much better as you've grown up. You don't really even need my advice anymore." She looked kind of happy-melancholy, like my dad looked when I went off to college.

"I'm meeting Josh's parents tonight. I need to look good. I'm terrified, this is the first time I've met a guy's parents after we've gotten to the 'boyfriend-girlfriend' stage. I'm terrified it's going to be like a bad sitcom, she's going to say I look like a man and turn around an hour later and ask me if I got my outfit from Lindsay Lohan's line! What if she convinces Josh I'm no good for him?" On the other hand, what if Alice picked out something even worse and Mrs. Watson thought I was trampier than I would have been picking out my own clothes? Or too frumpy, I think that would be worse…

"Don't worry, Bella," Alice laughed. "I will make sure you look wonderful. I have the perfect thing in mind. She rummaged in the top drawer of my dresser and pulled out a package of leggings. "Put those on," she commanded. I obeyed without hesitation. They were black, and had a lacy flowery design. They scratched my skin slightly, but didn't itch thank God.

"This." She didn't bother to look at me, just held out a long, deep plum satiny shirt with a short Mandarin collar. It sort of came in at my waist and flowed down. It covered down to my mid-thigh. Alice set a pair of black patent pumps in front of me and then drug me into the bathroom before I could even slip the second shoe all the way on.

An hour later, when Josh opened my front door with a fall bouquet in his hand, I knew that giving into my weaknesses had been the right thing to do. His appreciative, almost caveman stare put to rest any qualms I had about wearing something so short. I'd fought Alice on only wearing the shirt, but she wasn't giving in.

"It's a shirt-dress, Bella. It's supposed to be either long shirt or short skirt, depending on what else you wear with it."

"Ok, so make it a shirt!"

"Be a big girl Bella, don't pout."

I just glared at her has she continued to do my hair.

"Wow, Bells. You look…incredible."

"Thanks. All the credit goes to Alice."

"Was that her Porsche leaving the lot?" he asked in wonder as I locked the door behind me.

I rolled my eyes. "Probably. Her family loves fancy cars." He whistled low as he led me down the stairs.

We were half way to his parent's house when Josh spoke again. "So…I should probably let you know…my family can be kind of loud. And outrageous."

"Oh."

He laughed. "Don't look so scared, Bells. They'll love you, I know it. Just be yourself." A bit later he pulled up to a small house on the west side of town, by the high school. A little white dog came crashing to the chain-link fence, yapping frantically. "That's Ginger. Don't worry, she's harmless." True enough, the second we were in the fence, Ginger's attack maneuver was to roll on her back and beg for tummy rubs. Josh obliged; I didn't want to risk either my skirt coming up or me falling down on these ridiculous heels.

"Come on," Josh beckoned. He took my hand and led me up the stairs onto a small porch, then through the front door. In front of me was a living room with two recliners and a short couch, and a few added folding chairs. The carpet was brown, a little too long to be modern, but not shag either. The walls were white, and there were at least three bookshelves crammed into a tiny corner with one of the recliners. The shelves were totally filled up, and stacks more lay on the floor.

"Mom, where are you?" Josh called out.

"Kitchen!" Came a call from the back of the house. Josh smiled at me and headed back there. We passed a staircase to the right, and another room that was probably supposed to be a dining room, but held a table with phone stuff, another couple of chairs, a china hutch and some sort of exercise machine. A small hallway led to what I presumed was the bathroom. Directly in front of us was the kitchen, lots of counter space filled with appliances and mouthwatering dishes. A woman stood at the stove, stirring something in a saucepan vigorously. She was a bit of a larger woman, with short brown hair and, when she turned around, a very welcoming face.

"Hey, sweetie. Just let me finish this up." She kept stirring for another thirty seconds or so before pouring whatever was in the saucepan onto the turkey in the oven. She closed the oven door, set the timer, and turned, wiping her hands on a towel. She came to give Josh a hug first, then came at me with outstretched arms. "You must be Bella. We've heard so many things about you. Finally I get to meet the woman behind the stories."

"What have you told her?" I asked Josh in a threatening voice.

Josh's mom laughed merrily. "Only good things, I assure you." She let me go and stood back. "Although you're right, she's so thin!" she said. I blushed and looked down. I'd gained weight after having the kids, but I was still kind of skinny, it was true. "Well, what would you like to drink, Bella? We've got soda, water, milk, I think Dale's got a couple of beers in the fridge in the garage."

"Um…soda sounds fine. Thank you, Mrs. Watson."

"Karen," she corrected me kindly. "Coke or cherry Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper?"

My head reeled. "Coke. Please."

She handed me a can from the fridge just as a timer went off on the stove. She hurried over to it. She was sweet; not like the nightmare I'd imagined. She kind of reminded me of Mrs. Weasley from the Harry Potter books. I smiled at Josh, which made him beam back at me.

"Where's Dad?" he asked.

"He went to Grandma's to help take everyone over. Donna blew a tire just as she got here, and she can't get to a shop until Monday; every where's closed until then. There aren't really enough cars for everyone else since Trisha and Saul flew."

"Ok. That was lucky it only blew on the way in."

"Yes, it was. She had just gotten to the hill before Grandpa's store so he came up and helped her change the tire and switched cars with her so she could get to their place safely."

"That's good. I'm going to show Bella around before the mob gets here, ok?"

"Ok."

Josh put his hand on the small of my back and led me out of the kitchen. He took me down the short hallway I had noticed earlier. True to my guess, there was a bathroom on the left and door directly across from that; a door was on the other wall, closed.

"Bathroom, as you can see," he said, then squeezed by me to open the door across from us. "Computer room. It's uh…yeah." I could see what he couldn't quite get out. It was a mess, simply put. There were another two bookshelves behind the door, tubs marked BOOKS stacked everywhere, the computer desk left little room for the keyboard under the paper, and just random stuff was everywhere. A tiny TV was perched haphazardly on a stack of boxes.

"She usually keeps a really tidy house. This room just compensates for the cleanliness."

I couldn't help giggling.

"Here, I'll show you the dungeon."

"Dungeon? You aren't going to tie me up with chains and stuff are you?"

Josh put a smirk on his face and bent to kiss me. "Hmm…Could be fun."

"Haha." The sarcasm was lost under an assault from Josh's lips, however. He broke away all too soon and took my hand.

"Come on. Before I do something stupid in my parent's house." He shut the door behind him and opened up the other one to the left. "Careful. The stairs are steep." He led me into the basement. I couldn't help but gasp. In front of me, spanning the whole south wall of the house was a ceiling-to-floor row of bookshelves, full of movies.

"What is this?"

"My dad's pride and joy. He hasn't even taken half of these out of the case, I think."

"How many are there?" I went to the end of the row, and peeked behind it. Another row was filled up against the wall, only half as short as the one in front.

"I think about three thousand. That was last year, though. We have a 'counting party' every first of the year." My eyes bugged out at him.

"Shit. Are these beta tapes?" I fingered a couple on the inside row.

"Yeah. VHS's and Betas are here. The other row is purely DVD's."

"Crap. This is what your dad does in his free time?" I asked.

"Yep. And he knows what he has and doesn't have in his head. He had some kind of brain injury when he was in middle school. Because of it he has a lot of trouble reading, and he can't really do math, but it's incredible how the brain makes up for those sort of things in other areas. He's able to remember all this off the top of his head. Among other things." I suddenly heard voices and creaking footsteps above us. "Sounds like the family's here. Ready?"

"Not even a little bit. Let's go."

The words sounded vaguely familiar as they rolled off my tongue.

* * *

"She wore those stinkin' pants every day, I swear!" Karen passed me the picture she was holding. There stood a young Trisha, Karen's sister, leaning against a railing outside wearing Coca-Cola bellbottoms. I couldn't help but giggle. We were crammed in the tiny living room. Josh had a big family. And this was just the _immediate_ family of his _mother's_ side. He had three aunts and one uncle, all married except one aunt. So that's seven people. Add in five cousins (there were four more from previous marriages not there). Make that twelve people—just in the room. His grandparents, too, with his great-grandma, and Dale's parents. Seventeen. With Josh, his parents, and I, that put twenty-one people in this small house. Not to mention that Josh had a brother coming back tomorrow on leave from the army.

I did not do well in crowds, especially where I didn't know the people. But Josh's family was welcoming to the umpteenth degree. They were a stout family; I mean, you could tell they had the direct Swiss heritage they claimed to have. The men were burly and hairy, and the women were motherly. You couldn't resist one of their tight hugs. Jovial was the word that best fit them. And Nana! The woman was Josh's great-grandma, and still snappy and sarcastic, with a hint of her European accent lingering in her voice. She used a walker with a chair attached to it to get around. Nana kind of reminded me some of my friend Jake's dad. Resilient, observant, and eager to join in the festivities, able to come up with a way to be a part of them even if their bodies wouldn't cooperate perfectly.

Dale's parents, on the other hand, were the opposite. Bob was quiet, with a sour look on his face constantly, grumbling and bumbling around. He couldn't fool anyone, though. It was plain by the way he treated the dog and the way he looked and half-smiled at the kids playing by the stairs. He was a marshmallow. His wife was constantly asking, "would anyone like anything else? I'm going to the kitchen, are you sure I couldn't get anyone anything? I can cut up a piece of turkey or pie if anyone's hungry. I can make up some cider or cocoa." She got on Karen's nerves a bit, probably because it was Karen's house and not Anna's. I couldn't help but accept her offers even though I was stuffed. She looked absolutely crestfallen if she was denied the ability to do something for someone.

It was hot in the living room, so I grabbed Josh's jacket, which was a bit lighter than my own (and smelled much better, I thought) and went out the back door, hidden by the kitchen. It was snowing again, and this time it was sticking. There was already a good half-foot on the ground from the day. I couldn't help it—I laid down in the snow and started moving my arms around. I heard the door close and looked up. Josh was standing in the glow from the porch light.

"Hey, angel." I giggled. "Too many people in there?"

"Not exactly. Just warm."

"Yeah, it gets that way. You should see when the rest of my cousins are here. It's downright nuts. And Christmas! Forget it!" he laughed and extended his hand out to me. I took it and jumped up, careful not to let my feet in my masterpiece. Josh spun me around into his arms; I could feel his breath tickling my ear.

"Look at that. A perfect angel."

"Yep."

"I don't mean the one in the snow." I blushed but didn't speak. I leaned my head back onto his shoulder, looking up at the overcast sky reflecting the snow.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

My heart sped up. This was the first time he had told me this. Things had been getting heated since we started dating. We were coming closer and closer, both emotionally and physically. I was in love with him, but had yet to say it. I was scared of the phrase, downright terrified I admit. I didn't know what it meant to Josh. I hadn't felt it with Mike, not at all, I knew that. With Edward? It was…I don't know. Unhealthy obsession, maybe? Mixed with the love, of course. It was out of control, insane, consuming, and I was scared to feel like that again.

What I felt with Josh was simpler, more comfortable, and safer. It was comforting. It was like a fire in a hearth compared to the raging bonfire that was Edward. I felt like I did love him. I cared deeply. We got on well, had lots in common. He made the butterflies in my stomach come alive every time he touched me. He made my blood boil when he really put his hands on me. And, probably the most important, I wanted to be with him. All the time. I missed him terribly when he wasn't there, and I often made excuses to drop by the diner to see him, or to drop by his house, anything to see him would do.

Josh took my silence the wrong way, for he started to take his arms off of me, apologizing.

"No." I grabbed his wrists and put them back around me. "Don't let go. I love you too, Josh. I'm sorry…you just caught me by surprise."

He tightened his arms around me and nuzzled his face into my hair. "Thank you."

I didn't know why he was thanking me, but I just tightened my hold on his arms and smiled to myself.

A few minutes later we went back into the house because I was freezing. Everyone was saying their good-byes.

"Bella, it was wonderful to meet you, dear. Will you be around tomorrow? We're having a welcome-home barbeque for Kaleb."

Of course. Only around here could you barbeque with it snowing. These people were nuts.

I answered in the affirmative, then Josh and I said our goodbyes and left.

We were parked out in front of my building a few minutes later.

"Do you want to have a drink?" I asked.

Now, this was normally how we ended our evenings together. He would drop me off at my building, come up for a drink, we would act like teenagers and suck face for a while, and then Josh would reluctantly go home. However, with our recent…uh…revelation…the question was laced with static. We both knew that it had taken us to a new level, and we both knew what his coming up to my apartment would mean.

Josh stared at me for a moment with consideration in his eyes, then leant forward and kissed me chastely. He didn't speak, but opened his door. He came around and opened my door for me and held my hand up the stairs. In the kitchen, I poured us both a glass of huckleberry wine and unwrapped some apple pie Karen had sent us home with. I set a plate down in front of him on the coffee table and sat next to him.

After a few minutes of silence between us (and trust me, it was a _very_ awkward silence) Josh offered me a bit of pie from his fork. I took it and chewed with a smile on my face. I gave him a bite in return. It was strangely erotic, feeding each other.

I don't have any clue how it happened, but suddenly we were on the floor, kissing like our lives depended on it. Our tongues traced each other and our fingers stroked along skin that was abruptly exposed. I could feel Josh's erection against my thigh and I squirmed for more friction.

"Risking the chance of sounding completely cheesy, would you like to take this into the bedroom?" I asked.

"You sure?" Josh asked. He pulled away and stroked some wayward hair out of my face.

"Yes."

"All right." He lifted himself up off me and held his hand to me to help me up off the floor.

I took a deep breath and followed him. Here goes nothing.

* * *

I woke throughout the night to Josh's snoring. Sure, he'd stayed over before, but the once we'd fallen asleep on the couch together he'd been on his back. Other times he stayed on that couch and I was on my bed, after he had drank too much to consider going home.

Next to him, when he was on his stomach? Forget about sleep. I couldn't take it anymore and decided to get up officially around five-thirty. I took a long bath and found that, after last night, I felt like dressing kind of sexy. So I went back into my bedroom (there was no chance that Josh could hear me; he was snoring too loudly) and threw on an embarrassing lacy underwear set that Alice had picked out for me. I threw on a silky robe overtop. My feet were still freezing, though.

_Screw looking totally sexy._

I put on my old fuzzy blue slippers and plodded into the living room to refine my lesson plan for the next quarter. After a couple of hours I checked in on Josh; he was just stirring so I gave it about fifteen minutes until he was awake.

Twenty minutes later he came out of the bathroom with a smile on his face.

"Hey, gorgeous." He came up behind me as I was cutting fruit and wrapped his arms around my waist, slipping under the front of my panties. I smacked his hand.

"Quit it."

He laughed. "Hmm…well, you've got it almost right."

"Hmm?"

"You're in the kitchen, but you're not barefoot."

"Pig." We both laughed. It was our thing. I cooked for him so much, and he always had the same comment. I always had the same retort.

"What'cha makin'?" he asked, pouring coffee into a mug.

"Scrambled eggs and fruit," I said. "The eggs are almost done."

"Sounds yummy." He reached up next to me and took some plates down from a cupboard. He set them on the table as I brought the food there. I grabbed some silverware and sat down across from Josh.

"Thank you. For last night," he said.

I blushed. "I should be thanking you." He placed his hand over mine and rubbed my knuckles.

"No regrets?"

"Why should I have any?" he smiled at me.

This was a start of something wonderful, I could feel it.

So why, after Josh left, did I lay in bed unable to sleep, aching for something more? Something I couldn't even place?

* * *

I was sitting in my classroom the next Thursday, during my free period, when Edward came up to my desk.

"What can I do for you, Edward?" I asked.

"Do you mind if I stay in here for a bit? They're doing blood typing in my biology class."

I chuckled. "I suppose it's all right."

"Do you remember when they did blood typing back in Forks all those years ago?" He asked with a smile in his voice.

I looked up at him. He had silently drug a chair across the room and sat backward in it. He rested his head on his crossed arms, which were resting on my desk.

"I do." I shook my head, smiling. "Looking back now, I'm surprised you didn't do me in there."

He frowned. "Don't laugh about your death, Bella. It was more tempting to me than you know."

I sobered up. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to make light of it. I was thinking more of my reaction when you scooped me up from the pavement and insisted on carrying me to the infirmary. I was so angry."

He cracked a smile at that. "That _was_ funny. Jasper was in a nearby classroom and gave me a taste of what you were feeling later. Even then I couldn't help but laugh." He proved it by laughing loudly.

I smacked his arm. "You're a jerk!" I laughed along with him.

When we calmed down he looked at me again. "Something's changed."

My heartbeat gave me away. It spiked violently. Edward smiled and looked at the left side of my chest. "I guess that tells me my suspicions." He ran his fingers through his hair agitatedly. "Do you love him?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Does he treat you well, Bella?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"I'm still not giving up."

"I figured as much."

He looked me dead in the eye. Serious as can be, he said, "I am happy for you, though. I really am. This whole time we've been here I haven't seen your eyes light up but for these last few days. It reminds me of how you used to look at me. I am happy for you."

I was shocked. "Thank you, Edward."

He shrugged. "It's true."

We worked quietly for a few minutes.

"Edward?" I regretted speaking immediately after his name left my lips.

"Yes?"

"Nothing. Never mind. It's stupid."

He sighed in exasperation. "You know I hate when you do that. Just spit it out."

I chewed on my lip for a moment.

"Please?"

"Fine. When Alice and I went to Spokane, and I spilled coffee on my lap. Did she…um…well, did she think about me—when I was in the car? I mean, have you…uh…seen what she's seen?"

_Should have just left it, idiot!_

Edward wasn't looking at my eyes. Bad sign. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, trying to come up with an easy way to break it to me.

"Never mind. I think I have my answer."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, she just…slipped."

"I understand, Edward. Can we just…not have anything more to say about it please?"

"Yes. My apologies." It was funny seeing him flustered. He became so proper; it really was endearing.

A bit later the bell rang, and Edward got up to drag his chair back to his table for class. He bent down in my ear first.

"I have to admit. I like the sight of you bare better than I'd ever imagined you with hair. And I've imagined it plenty, trust me." He quickly kissed me under my ear; his cool breath fanned my ear and then he was gone, sitting seemingly innocently at his table.

I tried to subtly press my legs together to try to stop the sparks of electricity that burst through my body at his kiss and his words. It did nothing to stop it, only spurring it on.

_Stupid damn vampire!_


	9. Shall We Dance?

**Yay! I love The Tenth Kingdom. It's a mini-series. I think its still on Youtube. Seriously, if you haven't seen it, look it up. It's pure awesomeness. It's kinda low-budget feeling, but it's still wonderful.**

**On the other side of that: Here's Chapter Nine. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilightyness. I own a mega cup of coffee...mmmm...sweet heaven.**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Nine: Shall We Dance?**

"All right, all right everyone, settle down please! Hey! Emmett, if you don't shut up now, so help me, I will kick you out of my class!" He just smirked at me and continued talking to the football dude turned around in his chair in front of him. It was an empty threat and he knew it. It was the third Friday in December, and the whole class was chatting excitedly. I should have known better than to try to control the pre-Christmas break chaos.

Luckily, when I first started teaching, two years ago, one of the staff members told me of an amazing strategy passed on by another hard-pressed teacher. I rarely took advantage of it but I found that days before holiday I regretted not having it.

I took the small silver instrument out of my pocket, pressed it between my lips, and blew. Hard.

The shill shriek made the students jump and fall quiet mid-conversation.

I smiled. "Good. Now that I have your attention, I have a couple of announcements to make. First, there will be homework over the break—" the class burst out in objections and I raised the whistle to my mouth and blew again without hesitation. Everyone re-shut up.

I hated to admit, but I got some sick satisfaction out of watching them jump so high.

"Homework. You have almost three weeks from now until we are back in school. Your homework is this: pick a book. Any book that you haven't read before. It must be a classic, and it must make you _think_. I'm trusting all of you to be honest with this as far as the length of the book goes. I don't care if it's a short story anthology, or classic poems, different authors or not. But it does need to be reasonably lengthy. Like the books we have been reading in class. Ok?"

I heard a—quiet—collective mutter of agreement from my students.

"Great. When we get back, we will start a project using those books. Ok. So, since we have almost the whole period and nothing else to do, we have a few options. I could let each of you do your own thing, we could play Scrabble, quiet reading, watch a movie. What do you think? Anyone else have a suggestion?"

They decided on a movie, but a group of three did decide to play Scrabble in the corner. I put in A Muppets Christmas Carol (easily my favorite version and I'm not ashamed to admit it) into the TV and went back to my desk to watch the movie. About ten minutes in, an IM popped up on my computer. Usually during school hours I ignored it, but we weren't doing anything except watching a movie now, so I clicked on the tab.

LOLA_82: **Ms. Swan, I have a question.**

I really liked how he used my maiden name instead of Newton.

INewtonSD5: _Yes, Mr. Watson?_

LOLA_82: **How did you get to be so sexy?**

A wry smile turned my lips up.

INewtonSD5: _I don't really thing that is an appropriate question for class, Mr. Watson. _

LOLA_82: **lol. I just wanted to know how your day is going**.

INewtonSD5: _It's going well. How about yours?_

LOLA_82: **Ok. I'm missing you. Getting ready for the trip.**

INewtonSD5: _You all packed?_

LOLA_82: **Mostly. Is your father going to kill me?**

I laughed quietly at that.

INewtonSD5: _Maybe. You're enough alike, he should like you. You're the opposite of Mike, so_ _he should like you just for that_.

LOLA_82: **Oh great. We're planning holiday and you mention your ex-husband.**

INewtonSD5: _Only to reassure you that you're better than him. Doesn't that count for something?_

LOLA_82: **Maybe. **

INewtonSD5: _Pack old jeans. Charlie's going to want to take you fishing. _

LOLA_82: **All right. That sounds fun. **

INewtonSD5: _Oh brother. I'm never going to see you again, am I? And I don't mean because of Charlie's gun. Charlie might just want to run off with you._

LOLA_82: **Whatever.**

INewtonSD5: _No, I can see it now: sitting in the boat on the lake, each of you holding a fishing pole in one hand, a beer in the other, gazing into each other's eyes lustily, as though you'd just caught the Loch Ness Monster. Rowing off into the sunset. _

LOLA_82: **Hahaha. I have to go, babe. I need to be at the restaurant soon.**

INewtonSD5: _All right. I'll see you tonight, right?_

LOLA_82: **Yep. I'll see you then. Bye Ms. Swan.**

INewtonSD5: _Get to work, Mr. Watson. _

I closed the IM window and sat back, surprised to see that class was half over. I looked over toward Edward and caught him staring at me. He seemed to realize what he was doing, shot me a small smile, and turned to the movie.

Things had gotten better between us in the past few weeks. He hadn't brought up my private parts again, and I hadn't threatened to key his car anymore, so we had reached a cautious understanding. Josh and I had even gone to dinner at his house and they had gotten along all right, although I could see the fury in Edward's eyes every time Josh touched me. Jasper looked incredibly uncomfortable during the whole night.

Once, a couple of days before Halloween, Edward had come and stayed with me when I had a nightmare. I hated myself in the morning but I couldn't help snuggling up next to him after he crept into my room and wrapped his arms around me. Every time I vowed it wouldn't happen again, it seemed my promises were in vain.

The bell rang to signal the next class, and I turned off the movie. They opted to do their own thing, so I let them talk and do homework and a few people went out to have a snowball fight in front of the window. Edward pulled his desk up across from mine and smiled.

"What are your plans for the break?" he asked.

"Nicky and I are going to Forks. I'm going to introduce Josh to my dad."

"Sounds like fun." I heard the bitterness in his voice. "How is Charlie doing?"

"He's all right. Retired now."

"That was early."

"Yeah, but he couldn't stand not working so he volunteers there and at the fire station a lot. Do you remember me talking about the Blacks?"

"Yes." He had a grimace on his face but cleared it up quickly.

"Well, when Jake went off to college Billy just didn't like being on his own. He would spend a lot of time at his friends Harry and Sue. He's in a wheelchair, and one day about six years ago they were working on the porch and he rolled off of it on accident. His son, Jake was all set to quit college and come back, but Dad stepped in and offered to move into Jake's old room to help Billy out. Billy's never been the same since, so Dad sold the old house to Jake when he married and decided to stay on the res permanently."

"What is Billy's condition?"

I sighed. "Well, he hurt his spine really bad in a car wreck—the same one that killed his wife. A couple of years before I moved there, he finally had to go in a wheelchair. When he fell off Sue's porch it paralyzed him from the waist down. He used to use a walker around the house but now he can't even get out of his chair on his own. It drives him up the wall."

"He's lucky he didn't land on his neck." Edward looked honestly concerned about Billy. "It could have easily killed him."

I nodded. "The whole tribe was wonderful, though. They helped him so much."

Edward nodded and looked up at the clock.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Just anxious for the class to be over."

I looked up at the clock too. There were only five minutes left, so I dismissed the class and went to wipe up the drawings from the board and clean up while Edward went to his bag and pulled something out of it; when I came back he pressed a green foil-wrapped box into my hand and sat on the edge of my desk. An intricate bow lay atop the box.

"What's this?"

"It's a present. One gives them to people they care about. Generally thought to be good things. For Christmas it's traditional, along with some other religion's holidays, birthdays, sometimes Easter or New Year's or even Halloween."

I glowered at him. "Smartass," He chuckled.

"Merry Christmas. I know you don't like gifts, but I wanted you to have this."

"Last time you had me open wrapping paper it didn't end too well, you know." I fingered the bow gently.

"Just open it, Bella. It won't bite you." I scowled at Edward and tugged on the ribbon.

Under the perfectly-laid foil sat a black wooden box with a white orchid carved and painted into the top. The grain was smooth and perfectly sanded.

"Edward," I gasped. It was absolutely beautiful.

"The gift is technically Alice's. As a thank-you. You see, with the information you gave her after what happened with James—" he growled the name. "—she found her heritage. It took her a few years, but she managed to look everything up. She found this along with some other possessions she must have treasured in her grave."

"Her grave?"

"They buried a coffin filled with her things and letters. She dug it up when she found it and took her possessions." My face must have shown the shock I felt, because he laughed. "Everyone she knew has passed, Bella. Her niece had died a few months before she found her grave, and she never had any children."

I nodded. "It just seems so…unlike Alice."

Edward nodded. "I know what you mean." He cleared his throat and tapped the box. "Open it up."

"Oh." I looked back at the box and my heart beat a bit harder. I lifted the top and the hinges gave way easily. She must have had it restored; no way it could be in such good shape after being underground for decades. It was a velvet-lined jewelry box with a mirror in the lid. The mirror was etched with tiny gold orchids framed around the edge. The velvet was soft and plush.

"It's so beautiful, Edward. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I need to get going soon. Alice wants to go on a shopping trip tonight before we leave on Sunday." I cocked my head questioningly at him. "We are all headed to South America for Christmas."

"South America? Isn't that a little…luminous?"

He laughed. "Esme has an island out there. It's beautiful there, and we can completely be ourselves. It's a relief to be there. We don't have to pretend."

"An island? Wow. What's it like?"

"It's tropical. So green and lush. It's…vibrant, I believe that's the right word. It's one of my favorite places to be."

"Sounds beautiful."

"Maybe I could take you there someday."

Embarrassed, I lowered my gaze to the box still in my hand; I ran my fingers over the engraving.

I was saved by a quick rap on the door. Edward quickly moved to his desk under the pretense of putting something away. I set the jewelry box on my own desk and said, "Come on in."

"Hey, Bella." Janet, one of the librarians, poked her head in the doorway.

"Hey, Janet. What's up?"

"Well, you know I'm in charge of the dance on Saturday."

Of course. How could I forget? The "Holiday Dance" the events committee decided to throw together last minute. Apparently some local doctor had donated a bunch of money to the school specifically to host a dance, at the insistence of his daughter who was on the dance planning committee. Of course, the principal decided it was a good idea after all.

Guess who the doctor and his daughter were?

_Damn you, Alice._

"Yeah…"

"Well…I came here to beg."

"Oh God, what?"

"Tamela was supposed to help chaperone but she sprained her ankle skiing over the weekend. I tried and tried to get someone else, I swear, but—"

"No. I see where this is going, and no."

"Please, Bella!" her big blue eyes got even bigger.

"Please! Please! I am in so much trouble if I can't get someone else. Remember when you were on the side of the road last year, and I stopped and gave you a jump? Remember? You said you owe me one?"

"I meant I owe you a save on the side of the road."

"Then save me now. I'm on the side of a freaking freeway right now, and I need help!"

_Rrrr…_

"Fine! Uggh. What time do I need to be there?"

"I suppose I couldn't push my luck and ask you to help set up?" I just glared at Janet, and she put her hands up in surrender. "Ok, ok. Be there at 8:30. The dance starts at nine, and goes until midnight."

"All right. I'll be there."

"Thank you! I love you!" She skittered out the door.

"Hate you!" I called back at her, teasingly.

As I packed my bag up I felt Edward's appraising eyes on me.

"What?"

"Just thinking. Alice is going to be shopping for a dress for the dance along with everything else tonight."

"Yeah, why did she have to throw this thing again?" I locked the door and followed Edward out into the hallway.

"I actually have yet to ask her that myself," he said thoughtfully. "I supposed it was just Alice being Alice."

"Hmm." Somehow I knew she had ulterior motives. We were in the parking lot now, and Edward's car was across the lane and a few over from my truck. He thumped the tailgate with his fist. It flopped down.

"Sorry," he said, as though it was him. He tried to put it back into place but it just fell back down. He looked at me with wide eyes.

"It does that." I dropped my bag in the seat without closing the door, and put my knee on the tailgate. "Here," I grunted, pulling myself up. I grabbed a couple bungee cords from my emergency pack and pulled the tailgate up. I secured it tightly and hopped back down, denying Edward's offered hand. I wiggled the tailgate until I was satisfied it wouldn't fall down again and turned to Edward. He had a slightly dazed look on his face.

"Well, I suppose I'll see you at the dance?"

"I should have known you'd be there." I chuckled as I got into my truck.

"Alice." He shook his head.

"Alice," I replied, shaking my own head. "I'll see you Saturday then."

"Take care, Bella."

I pulled out of the parking lot with Edward not far behind me. We split off at Main street; I went left and he went right. When I stepped into the comfort of my apartment, I heard the television blaring and smelled something wonderful.

"Hello?" I toed off my shoes and padded into the living room.

"Hey, babe."

"What're you doing here?" I greeted him with a kiss and sat on the couch next to him.

"I wanted to make something for you, but then I remembered I can't cook." We shared a laugh. Oh, yeah. He tried to make dinner for me one day, but ended up setting off my smoke detectors.

"So why am I smelling food?" I asked warily. I looked into the kitchen and saw my crock-pot set up on the counter.

"Roast," was all Josh said.

"Ah. Smells good." I went back into the living room and gave Josh a kiss. "So…I need to talk to you."

Josh sat up straight. "Am I in trouble?"

I laughed. "No, no. nothing like that."

"Whew. In the future, Bella, if a guy's not in trouble, don't start out a sentence like that!"

"Noted. Sorry about that. No, what I needed to talk to you was about leaving tomorrow. We may have to move it to Sunday. Janet came up to me today and asked if I can chaperone the dance tonight."

Josh groaned. "Man. I wanted to be there tomorrow."

"I know, but I couldn't turn her down. I can call her and cancel if you really want to go tomorrow, but I feel like crap even thinking about it." I took Josh's hand and started absentmindedly picking at his cuticles.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it, babe. What about Nicky?"

We had planned to pick him up on the way out of town from his dad's house, and Mike was leaving tomorrow as well for his family out east.

"I can pick him up tomorrow. Would you mind watching him while I'm at the dance?"

"Sure. Not a problem. What time do you have to be there?"

"8:30. Which reminds me, I need to call Alice."

"Alice? What for?" he'd gotten used to my relationship with the Cullens, although he was worried about what my friendship with my students could do to my career.

If he only knew.

"Really? If I don't consult Alice for my outfit she'll pitch a fit." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed her number.

"Bella! Hey, I was wondering if I'd hear from you before we left. What's up?"

"You mean you didn't see?"

She clicked her tongue. "I'm not all-knowing. Just mostly." We both laughed at that.

"I need your help. I'm going to chaperone the dance tomorrow, and—"I was cut off by an excited squeal from Alice.

"Why didn't I see this! I've only been waiting for this for weeks! Ok, I'll be there at four."

"Why so early? I don't have to be there until 8:30."

"I know, but I'm getting ready over there, too. Ooh, ooh, ask Kimber!"

"Kimber? That's a good idea. Will you have something picked out for her?"

"Yeah, I'll look for her. I'll know whether she's coming or not, but from what Jasper's said, I think it's a good possibility."

"What's Jasper said?"

Josh squeezed my thigh and got up from the couch to go to the bathroom.

"She's lonely a lot. When she comes over and we've been there, he feels a lot of frustration. He thinks it's from her grandmother but he can't be sure."

"What does Edward say about it?"

"He feels it's not his place to tell." She sighed in frustration.

"Idiot."

"I agree."

"Hey!" I heard yelled through the phone. Alice and I couldn't stop laughing. 

* * *

"Alice, you sure about this? I mean, I don't really want my hair up. Can't you at least cover the scar?" Kimber was talking to Alice through the mirror; Alice was securing Kimber's hair with a couple of clips.

"Kimber, you have to trust me," Alice said in her serious voice. "No one will notice it."

Kimber looked apprehensively but resigned herself and sat back on the chair in front of my dresser.

"Mama, Josh just pulled up!" Nicky called from the dining area.

"Okay. Let him in when he knocks."

"You're not allowed to see him until we're all ready!" Alice commanded.

"I know, I know. Jeez." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her.

An hour later, Kimber was smiling radiantly at her reflection. Alice had masterfully covered the scar so that it was much less noticeable. Nothing was going to cover it completely, of course, but at least it wouldn't be so obvious. She'd been put into a strapless white dress with a red band in the middle; there was a beaded comb in her hair and an intricate choker that looped down to a ruby pendant around her neck.

"Ok, here's these—" Alice handed Kimber a set of patent red pumps that went over the black tights, "—and these." She laid red gloves on the bed.

"You sure these look ok? I ain't gonna look weird?" She wiggled her fingers in the gloves and regarded herself in the mirror.

"You look gorgeous, Kimber. Stop worrying," Rosalie said firmly, but not unkindly. She was putting the finishing touches on her barrel curls, making sure they held, but still bounced just perfectly. She was wearing only her jewelry—an old brooch and pearl necklace, pearl bangles and earrings—and her underwear and silver shoes. Hooked gently on the closet door was a floor-length dark blue number with a silver belt. She'd done her makeup naturally, but pulled off a classic look with femme fatale red lipstick.

When Alice was done with Kimber, she was allowed to look in the mirror. She smiled widely. "Thank you so much, Alice." Kimber's eyes were welling with tears and Alice patted her shoulder with a cool hand.

"Don't you start crying on me, now! We don't want to have to re-do your makeup all over."

Kimber let out a short laugh, then got up and went to the door. "I'm gonna wait out there."

"Ok. See you in a few," I said from my seat in front of the mirror.

"All right, hold still." Alice came at me with the eyeliner, and no matter how much I trusted the steadiness of her hand, it still made me nervous to see her coming at me with the pencil. She had only put enough product in my hair to make it shiny and hold its body, never once picking up curler or straightener. She wanted me to look like "myself," whatever that was. When she was satisfied with my makeup, Alice tied on a bracelet with bunches of pearls, so that my wrist rattled slightly when I shook it. Pearl and diamond earrings went in my ears, and black pumps with a large bow on the outside of each slipped over my bare feet. She gave me a "chic" (her word, not mine) tattered scarf to put over my long satin, deep green dress, and stepped back to admire me.

"I think you should move the bow to the front, not the back, Al," Rose said.

"I think you're right." She rummaged in her bag for a seam ripper, needle, and thread, and set to work moving the black satin bow.

"I'm going out there, too." Rose left the room.

"When's Bella coming out?" Josh called.

"Hold your damn horses!" Alice's voice was irritated as she tugged the ribbons in place. "There. You look absolutely perfect."

I took a look at myself in the mirror and smiled. I hadn't felt like this since the prom Alice had dressed me up for, and I told her so.

"What about your wedding?"

I barked out a short laugh. "My wedding was in Mike's parent's backyard. I had a fifty-dollar off-white dress over a pregnant belly and ten guests total. I didn't feel like this at all."

"Oh, Bella," Alice sighed. Her eye landed on the jewelry box Edward had given me yesterday. "So he gave it to you, huh?" Smooth change of subject. She picked it up and opened it.

"Yeah. I was pretty surprised."

Alice lifted up a false bottom that I hadn't noticed in the box. "That's a pretty ring."

_Ring? What the…_

"I didn't put anything in there. It must be yours."

"I had this cleaned and restored, and I took everything out of it anyway. There's a note, too. Here." Alice handed me a piece of paper, folded in quarters with crisp creases.

"What is this?" I unfolded the paper.

_My Bella—_

Oh, God, here we go.

_My Bella—I don't know when you'll find this note, but I hope it will be soon. I didn't have the courage to give this to you myself because I knew you would not accept it. This ring belonged to my mother. I don't want you to think I'm asking for anything, I promise that I'm not. I just want you to have it. I was waiting for the right time to give it to you, but it never came. I hope that you like it, Bella, because it was very special to me. _

_All my love, Edward._

Sonofabitch.

"What's the ring?" Alice handed it over to me and I studied it. It was beautiful; a thin gold band with a deep-set pearl in between two rubies, also deep-set. So pretty.

"It's beautiful," Alice stated the obvious. Yes, it was.

She stared for a second and then snapped out of it. "The boys will be here soon. Why don't you go show Josh while I get dressed?"

I nodded. I went into the bathroom for a moment, and twirled the ring between my fingers. What to do? I wanted to thank Edward for the ring, but I knew he would be hurt if I didn't wear it. If I did wear it, on the other hand…well, it was a ring. It held implications.

The doorbell rang. Hell with it. I couldn't bear to hurt Edward's feelings, and I slipped it onto my right hand ring finger and went to open the door. Josh let out a wolf whistle from the living room and I laughed.

On the other side of the door stood two respectable looking young vampires in tuxes with ties to match their dates, and one almost-respectable looking young vampire with his blue and white striped tie wrapped around his head.

"Emmett, you know you Rose is going to kill you if she sees you wearing that tie around your head."

"But I look like a ninja!" he bounced into the living room and Rosalie exhaled in disgust. I knew she wanted to whap him upside the head, but the sound it would make—like two rocks crushing each other—wouldn't be good here. So she just grabbed him and held him still while she wrestled the tie to his neck. Kimber, Nicky, and Josh were laughing their asses off.

Alice took that moment to make her appearance.

_Oh my God. _

"Alice! What is that?"

"Do you like it?" she asked gleefully.

"It's pretty…"

"Wow. You look great!" Kimber yelled. She looked down at the way she filled out her own dress. She grimaced slightly, but looked back up at Alice with a smile.

Alice smoothed the corset of her dress and fluffed the flouncy lacy skirt. It was a couple of shades brighter green than my own dress, and fell to right above her knees, and these boots…there was no other description for them, they were fuck me boots…they laced up to right below her knees. Her accessories—necklace, bracelet, earrings, ring—were black roses and velvet.

"Are you sure that's appropriate for a school dance, Alice?" I asked.

"No. I know it's not. But I'll get away with it," she said confidently. She clapped her hands. "All right, everyone ready?"

"I want it noted that as a chaperone to this stupid thing, I am not condoning Alice's outfit," I only half-joked.

She sighed and grabbed my hand. "Come on, time for pictures."

Twenty minutes, lots of different positions and fussing later, we were on our way. Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper were in Rose's car, and Edward, Kimber and I were in Edward's car.

"You excited?" I asked Kimber, turning around in the front seat and looking at her. She was chewing her nails.

"Yeah…nervous. This the first dance I been to. I'm worried I'm gonna look stupid."

"You'll be fine, Kimber. Alice is going to stick to your side the whole night, I'm sure of it," Edward said.

Kimber perked up at that.

I brought my own hand up to my mouth in nervousness. I hated crowds, and this was going to be a horrible one. Edward reached over and gently took my hand from my mouth. He ran his finger over the ring. I shot him a look that warned him not to say anything now and he let my hand go.

The smile on his face was smug. Of course.

* * *

My head and feet were killing me and I hadn't had anything to do since breaking up a fight outside an hour ago. I sat in the foyer below the gymnasium and slipped my shoes off, placing them on the table. Why Alice had insisted on pumps this high I would never know…

It had been two and a half hours since the dance started, and I only had thirty minutes to go. Janet had assigned me to the foyer, taking tickets and making sure everything went smoothly. I easily had the most boring job in the place. I hadn't even seen Kimber or any of the Cullens since arriving.

_Oops. Spoke too soon._

Edward came down the stairs and smiled at me as he approached. "Hey."

"Hi."

_Stop blushing!_

"Having fun?"

"No, not really. It's pretty boring work." I shrugged. "How's the dance?"

"Boring, without you there." He picked up my right hand again and ran his finger over the ring. "You found it."

"Yes."

"I'm glad it fits you." I nodded as I looked up and looked into his eyes. There was an emotion I couldn't read behind his gold irises. It made me feel sad trying to figure it out.

"Bella? Will you dance with me?"

I looked around me; no one was in the foyer. "No one is here. No one is coming this way, trust me. Please?" he placed an arm around my waist and pulled me up from the table, leading me to an opening to the left of the stairs. He left his arm around my waist and took my right hand in his, guiding it to his shoulder; he took my left hand and started moving us.

"You know, this isn't exactly a slow song…" I whispered. I still couldn't take my eyes off of his.

"Shh."

And we moved. Edward guided me with moves I hadn't known before, ones from his youth. For once I felt graceful as we moved across the linoleum floor smoothly. When the music swelled he spun us faster, as it came down he would slide us in another direction. I was pressed against his chest, and my heart was speeding, flying, it could have burst out of my chest if it could. He smiled as it reached tempo with the song.

"Edward…"

"Yes?" he slowed us, but we were still swaying in time to the song.

"I…"

"Yes?" he leaned his head to mine and I took the opportunity to press my lips to his. He groaned and tangled his hand in my hair, pushing me back to a wall as he did. I was kissing him, and there wasn't even the voice telling me not to do it in the back of my head. Edward didn't ask entrance, he just forced my mouth open and thrust his tongue in; I couldn't help but moan.

"God, Bella. Unn…" he grunted, and held my hips tight in his hands. I knew the pressure was enough that it would bruise, but it didn't hurt. He ground himself into me and made me cry out softly into his mouth.

"Edward…please…" I didn't know what I was asking for, I was barely aware that I was pleading, but it made Edward stop abruptly. He pulled back and looked at me, fear was on his face.

"I'm sorry, Bella. That was wrong of me." He stepped away, running his fingers through his hair.

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" Josh. How could I do that to Josh? Why didn't I even have a thought about him while I was kissing Edward?

_You are a horrible person, Bella Swan. _


	10. Grief

**Is everyone ready to go back to Forks? The more pressing question: Is everyone ready to finally find out what happened to Grace? You'll read about it in this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it! As always, thank you to my wondermous reviewers. I love you all!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own an outline for a trip to Forks this summer...hooray! **

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Ten: Grief**

I couldn't believe it. What had I done?

"Thanks for the ride, Alice," I said as I followed Kimber out of the car.

"Yeah. Not a problem. You going to be ok?" she asked. Damn, she'd noticed my sullenness. I'd tried hard to act like nothing happened. I was thankful (and surprised) she wasn't asking question upon question, though.

"I'll be fine, don't worry. I'll give you a call when we get back into town, ok?"

"Ok. Bye."

I waved and went up the stairs to my apartment.

"Good-night, Bella. Have a good Christmas," Kimber said.

"You too."

Suddenly her arms were wrapped around my waist. "I had a great time. Thank you so much." Her voice was full of emotion.

"You're welcome, Kimber. I'm glad you had fun. Merry Christmas."

She let me go and turned before I could see her face. My shoulder was wet where she had rested her head. I hoped they were happy tears.

When I went into my living room I couldn't really understand what I was seeing. All my dining room chairs were drug into the living room, and the blankets from the hall closet had been draped over them. Not a sound was coming from the apartment, but the TV had been taken off its stand and I could see the cords disappearing under the blankets. I lifted a corner and the sight I saw made my heart melt.

_My guys…_

They were snuggled up together; Josh was propped up against the coffee table, his head lolling back on a pillow, with his hands holding a game controller in his lap. To his left and under the coffee table, Nicky was laying on his tummy in his sleeping bag, using another game controller as a pillow. The TV screen was blue; I turned it off and carefully replaced a real pillow for the game controller under Nicky.

I looked at Josh sadly. What should I tell him? I sighed and pulled myself out of the blankets to go take a shower. I looked down at my hips as the water rolled off my body and steamed the bathroom. Just as I had thought, a thumbprint showed up lightly on the front of my hip. I'm sure if I twisted around in the mirror I would see the rest of Edward's long, lithe fingers imprinted on my skin.

As I pruned myself up under the hot spray, I contemplated my options. I could tell Josh, like the responsible girlfriend I tried so hard to be, and risk his anger and hurt. Or I could keep it to myself. What could I say, anyway? "I made out with my student, but it's ok, because he's really not a minor"? I don't think that would fly, somehow.

"Stupid damn vampire!" I growled.

A knock came at the door. "Bella? You ok in there?" Josh.

_Shit!_

"I'm fine." He came in and sat on the toilet.

"How was the dance?"

"It was ok." I closed my eyes and rinsed the conditioner out of my hair. "Kinda boring. All I did was sit in the foyer and collect tickets."

"Bella! What is that?"

"Huh?" I opened my eyes and saw his face peeked in the shower curtain. His eyes were darting between my face and my hips.

"Uh…"

"What happened?" he reached toward me and grabbed my hand, pulling me closer to him.

"You're getting wet."

"And you're bruised. Who did this?" He traced the reddish-black marks.

"Uh…some of the kids at school were drinking in the hallway," I quickly made up. "I tried to stop them and they got rowdy."

"Some kids did this? Did they do anything else? Did they hurt you?"

I felt guilty lying, especially because the look on his face was so full of fear and anger. "No, they didn't hurt me. Emmett and Jasper and Edward came by and scared them off before they could do anything."

"Do you know who the kids were?"

"No. Just a minute, Josh." I let go of his hand and finished rinsing off the conditioner. When I pulled back the curtain Josh wasn't in the bathroom, so I dried off and looked for him in the bedroom. Sure enough, there he was, laying on the bed in just his boxers. I smiled at the sight. He wasn't muscled, but he wasn't limp either. He made a good pillow.

"You ok?" he asked as I pulled on my pajamas.

"Yeah."

"You take things in stride, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

He pulled me to his side and ran his fingers through my wet hair. "I mean, you were just assaulted by students at your own school and you don't seem worried about going back."

"They were drunk. They probably won't even remember it tomorrow." I snuggled into his shoulder and tried to go to sleep.

Josh wasn't letting it up, however.

"Did you report them?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't know, Josh," I sighed in exasperation.

"Did anyone stay with you the rest of the night?"

"Edward did. Can I go to sleep now?"

"Why are you so calm about this?" He sounded upset.

"Why are _you_ making such a big deal about it?" I pushed myself up from his chest and looked at him angrily.

"Because you aren't. Why are you not upset about this?"

"It's not like it's the first time this has happened!" Don't ask me why I was defending my lie.

"What do you mean?" Josh calmed down immediately and looked at me in concern. I made myself take some deep breaths before answering him.

"When I was seventeen I was walking around this town near Forks, called Port Angeles. I got lost and wandered down an alley and these guys tried to…you know, attack me."

"Oh my God, Bella. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because nothing _happened_. E—a guy from school saw me and scared them off and gave me a ride home."

"I wish you had told me sooner. Have I pushed you too far?" He seemed genuinely concerned for me and that just added to my guilt.

"No. If you had, I would have said something. So can we just drop it for now, please? I'm tired and you have a long drive ahead of you." I kissed Josh and laid on the bed with my back to him.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad. What happened earlier is just not that important because I know it could have been much worse."

He dropped it, thankfully, and shut up for a few minutes. "I love you," he finally whispered.

"Love you too, Josh. 'Night."

I got no sleep that night. I lay in Josh's arms, regretting my lies and feeling horrible about the kiss. Finally, around four, I got up with intentions of doing some grading in the living room before remembering about the fort Nicky was still under. Damn. I needed something to take my mind off everything. I threw on some jeans and a shirt, slipped my tennis shoes on, and headed out the door to my truck. I didn't even know where I was going, just that I needed to go. I drove around aimlessly for about fifteen minutes until my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"What's up? Why can't I see you?"

"Hey Alice. I'm just driving, I'm fine. Why were you looking for me anyway?"

"Edward told me what happened tonight. I figured you'd react something like this."

I pulled over on the side of the road. I stayed quiet.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not really," I sighed.

"Do you want to come over for a while?" I knew she wouldn't have asked if Edward was there. It was a tempting offer, but I looked at the clock and sighed.

"No, I'd better get back. We're leaving at six."

"Ok. Have a safe trip. I love you, Bella. I don't care about what happened, I'll still love you."

"Thanks Alice." A smile crept over my face. "That means a lot to me. Love you, too."

We said our goodbyes and I finished the loop I was taking home. I stopped at a 24/7 grocery store and bought us some things to make sandwiches and drinks for the drive. As an impulse buy I got Nicky a comic book, too. When I got home the lights were on and Nicky was cleaning the living room as Josh was making breakfast. Or trying to, bless him.

"Hey!" I called out as I toed off my shoes.

"Mama!" Nicky ran out of the living room and wrapped his arms around me. "Guess what? Josh an' me, we stayed up all night an' played games an' made a fort, an' it was _awesome_! When we leavin'? Can I have Coco Puffs for breakfast?" Nicky was literally bouncing up and down next to me as I went to the living room.

"I'm glad you had fun, baby," I laughed. "Finish cleaning up the living room and get dressed, and then yes, you may have Coco Puffs today." I turned to Josh. "Why is my son so hyper?"

He looked guilty. "He may or may not have drank my coffee when I was in the shower?"

"Nicky! Why did you drink Josh's coffee?" I tried to act stern, but the excited look on his face was too much. I hadn't seen that look in so long.

"I thought it was cocoa, but then it wasn't and I drank it 'cause it's good!"

Josh and I were almost bent over laughing. When we righted ourselves, Nicky had the living room cleaned up and was hopping like a bunny to his bedroom to change.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean for him to have any."

"It's fine," I said, taking over the eggs that were becoming rubbery in his pan. "How the hell can you manage the diner and not be able to cook?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Have you noticed that I'm never in the kitchen? And when I am there's always another person there with me?"

"True, I guess."

"I forgot—I meant to tell you last night—Nicky talked with me."

I almost dropped the spatula. "Really?"

"Yeah. He came right up to me and asked for ice cream. And then when we were playing games under that fort—all his idea, by the way—he was joking around with me and teasing me about losing. It was great."

"That's wonderful, Josh." I hugged him. "Thank you for being so great to him."

"It's easy, he's a great kid."

We ate quickly and true to the plan we were headed out an hour later. All our things were in Josh's truck, we had just picked up Lola from Josh's house and we were finally gone. We hadn't left town before Nicky was asleep in the backseat. I called Charlie and texted Renee to let them know we were leaving. When my phone beeped I expected my mom's worrying answer.

**Be safe. Let me know when you get there, unless you want me to come after you again…on second thought, don't let me know. :) **

Talk about creepy. And did he really just use an emoticon? Ass.

**Don't over react again, Edward or you will be sorry. I may be just human but I can whip your ass in other ways. **

**I'd like to see you try, Bella.**

I rolled my eyes and didn't respond.

**XOXO**

It was raining when we got to the peninsula, as usual. Nicky's nose was pressed against the glass, steaming up his window every five minutes; he was beyond anxious to get out.

"We'll be there in a minute, buddy," I said. Lola was salivating all over Nicky in the back seat, anxious at being in a new place.

We pulled up at Billy and Charlie's place a few minutes later. Nicky wasted no time in tearing up the porch ramp and throwing himself into the house without even knocking.

"Nicholas! Get back here and help me with this stuff!" I yelled after him. Josh put the dog on a leash and slung his and my backpacks over his shoulder. I was tugging bags from the bed of Josh's truck as Charlie and Billy came out; Charlie had Nicky piggy-back style over his shoulders.

"Hey!" I called.

"Hey, Bella." He hugged me with one arm and kissed my head.

"Hey Billy." I bent down and embraced him.

"Hey, Bella. How was the drive?"

"Fine. Snowy until we hit Cle Elum, but not too bad, except Lolo Pass was a nightmare. Josh had to pull over and put chains on the tires."

Charlie let out a low whistle. "Well, I'm glad you got here ok, kid." He turned to Josh with one arm still around me and Nicky's hands wrapped under his chin, hanging on for dear life. Josh stepped forward and held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Chief Swan. I'm Josh Watson." Charlie shook hands with him.

"You too, Josh. Call me Charlie."

"Charlie."

"And this is Billy. He's kind of like my uncle," I said, pulling away from Dad and putting my hand on Billy's shoulder. Josh shook his hand, too, and said the pleasantries.

"Jake should be here after Mel gets off work. About six. You guys hungry?" Billy asked as he wheeled himself up the ramp to the house.

Charlie ordered pizza and we ate and talked for a while. A little after six, Jake and his wife, a very pregnant Melanie, showed up.

"Jake!" I shouted, and wrapped him up in a tight hug.

"Hey, Bells." He kissed the top of my head and stiffened. He took in a deep breath then held me out at arm's length.

"What? Do I smell bad?" I sniffed my hair.

"Uh…no. No, I thought—never mind. Is that Josh?" He nodded his head at Josh.

"Yeah. Josh, this is my best friend, Jake. Jake, Josh. And this is Jake's wife, Mel."

Jake took Josh's hand and from the look of Josh's face tried to cut off circulation. Josh didn't lower his eyes from Jake's, though.

_Men._

* * *

The next morning I was making breakfast for everyone. Josh had gone to get studded tires put on the truck and Sam and Emily were supposed to show up soon. Jake had stayed the night on the floor at Mel's insistence; she went home because she had to work at the hospital this morning. That's what I loved about her, she wasn't jealous of mine and Jake's friendship, she's secure enough with their marriage to leave him alone with me. I was envious of their relationship; I know if the situation was put on me I wouldn't be comfortable with Josh staying with a woman, even if she was just a friend.

_You don't have any place to talk, Bella. You obviously can't be trusted._

_Ugh. _

"Mama! Mama help!" Nicky was squealing from the living room. There was a split second of fear, until I heard him giggling and Charlie growling and laughing with him. I turned down the burner and stepped out of the kitchen to the living room. Jake had Nicky on the floor, pinned with his arms over his head. Charlie was attacking Nicky's sides and armpits relentlessly. Lola was pacing nervously around the living room, licking Jake's face and sniffing Nicky every time he screamed.

"Mama, help!"

"Help? Help with what? What should I do?" I asked, coming over to him.

"Get Jake!"

"Get Jake like what?" I ambled over behind Jake and he watched me warily. Charlie somewhat let up on the tickling while watching me.

"What're you doing, Bella?"

"Me? I'm not doing a thing."

_Innocence, Bella. Fein innocence…_

My hands shot out to Jake's sides and attacked him. He let go, laughing, and Nicky took his opportunity to jump; he wrapped his arms around Jake's neck and he fell dramatically over, on top of me.

"Oof! Jake, you're heavy! Let up!"

"After you sabotaged me? No way!"

"Billy! Control your son!"

"I have less control over him than Mel," he said with laughter in his voice. Lola was barking his fool head off.

The door opened and I twisted my neck around to see who it was.

"Is this a bad time?" Sam asked.

"Hey, Sam. Would you please pull Jake _off of me_!" I yelled, digging my elbow into his ribs. It felt like elbowing a cement block. He really had some muscles.

Sam was too busy laughing to come to my aid and eventually Jake got up. It may or may not have been due to a kick aimed precariously close to his groin; I claim innocence.

I served breakfast and everyone ate. And ate. Jeez, Jake and Sam could really put it back couldn't they?

"So the bonfire is starting at six," Sam said to Billy after everyone was done and sitting around the table.

"Great. We'll be there." He piled my plate on top of his and put Jake's on top of that. I grabbed the pile and took it to the sink.

"Bells? You going to be there?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, definitely. We don't have plans for the day, do we?" Charlie shook his head no and I took a deep breath. "I think I'm going to take a walk along the beach then. Would you mind keeping an eye on Nicky?" I asked.

The tension in the air was suddenly palpable. Everyone knew where I was going. No one spoke, but Charlie nodded.

Fifteen minutes later I was walking to the beach, wearing a plain green sweater and jeans with old sneakers. The wind was blowing and I pulled my hat lower over my ears. Less than a quarter of a mile from Billy's house was the ocean; it would be visible if it weren't for a stretch of trees between the house and the beach.

My heart started pounding as I walked north up the beach for a while before I hit the spot. I sat on the sand with my feet just out of reach of the waves and breathed in the salty air.

It started with one tear rolling down my cheek. Then two. Eventually my face was wet and I was struggling for air. I was thankful I was the only person on this stretch of beach. At least, until I felt a pair of arms wrap around my neck and a warm chest against my back. Josh's leather smell filled my nostrils.

"Your dad told me to come down here. What's wrong, babe?" he asked.

"Grace." It was all I could manage.

"Tell me." His voice was soft, but not a question. I took a deep breath.

"It was, not last summer, but the one before. We came here for Nicky's sixth birthday. His birthday is on the first of July, but we had the party on the fourth, so we could see the fireworks…"

_Grace's face is covered in ice cream an hour after she's eaten._

"_Damn it! Grace, I told you to clean your face!" Mike yells at her. We're in the park in La Push after the birthday party. Charlie's playing with Nicky on the swings and I'm in the gazebo cleaning up the decorations and trash so we can get going to the beach soon; the fireworks are going to start in a couple of hours and I still need to get everything for that ready, too. I hear footsteps on the wood floor. Mike is dragging Grace by her arm into the gazebo toward the wet wipes. Grace is crying. _

"_Mike, what's going on?" I ask. He's been drinking, I can tell. Where did he get the alcohol from?_

"_I told her to clean her face a half hour ago, and she ignored me and kept on playing!" He's angry. Great. _

_I take Grace gently from Mike and clean her face. He's hovering behind me, breathing down my neck. This isn't the end of this. I kiss Grace and dry her tears and send her back to the playground. I turn to Mike._

"_What the hell is your problem? Why are you drunk!" _

"_Because it's a fucking kid's party and I'm fucking bored!"_

"_Charlie's not fucking bored! He's playing with Nicky! Why don't you play with your daughter!"_

"_Shut up!" Mike's face is red, he's in my personal space and I'm starting to get afraid. We've been walking on glass so much lately, fighting all the time. This is the first time he's scared me. "You just shut up! I'm a fucking adult, not a child, I don't play!"_

"_If you're an adult, act like it. For God's sake, Mike, you're twenty-seven and you're acting like you're twelve! Grow the fuck up!"_

"_Yeah, I'm twenty-seven and have no fucking life thanks to you!"_

_I stepped back in shock. "What the hell does that mean?" I asked quietly. _

"_You know what it means, Isabella. You got fucking pregnant and ruined my life!"_

"_How dare you say that about me; about Grace! You convinced me to marry you, saying it'd all be ok that you would take care of us, and now you treat me like I'm a burden every damn day! If I'm such an inconvenience, and your children are such an inconvenience, why don't you just get rid of us already?" I'm about ready to kill him myself. I'm crying and frustrated and shocked that he could say such things about his children. _

"_Maybe I will!"_

"_Are you really that much of an idiot you don't give a crap about your kids?"_

_My face is burning and my hand is on my cheek before I realize Mike has slapped me. Instantly Charlie is by my side. _

"_Step away, Michael. Now." His voice is deadly calm and his hands are shaking. His right hand is at his belt, groping on instinct for a gun that isn't there. I turn away and see Grace standing by a picnic table. Charlie leads Mike away and I go to her. _

"_Grace, baby, how long have you been there?" I ask, kneeling in front of her. She starts crying._

"_Why does Daddy hate me?" She's bawling and I hug her tight to me._

"_Sweetie. Daddy doesn't hate you. He loves you very much. He's just angry with me and he's drunk. People can say evil, evil things when they're drunk, and they don't mean them. It can bring out a different kind of person in someone, someone that's not really there. Do you understand what I mean?"_

"_Kind of," Grace says into my shoulder. _

"_C'mon. Do you want to leave?" She nods and I stand up, taking her hand as I go. Mike is nowhere to be seen. Good riddance. I ask Charlie to bring Nicky to the beach for me later and we go to his house. I make us some lemonade and we sit at the table. _

_We're quiet for a while until Grace asks, "Did you an' Daddy not want me?"_

_I'm terrified of this question. I knew it would come, but in the seven years I've had to prepare, I haven't come up with a non-hurtful honest answer. I sigh and try to explain as best as I can._

_"__Daddy and I weren't married when I got pregnant. We didn't plan to have a baby. But it does not mean we didn't want you. From the second I found out I was pregnant with you, I was so happy. That's why I married Daddy, because I loved you so much, before you were even born, that I wanted to make sure you had the best life you could, and at the time I thought marrying your dad would be the best way to make sure you would be happy. Am I making any sense?" I take her little hand in mine and give it a squeeze. _

_Grace sniffles. One pigtail is drooping past her ear and the other one is still in place and I realize how fragile she is. She reminds me of my mother at this moment. _

"_I guess. So…did you not love Daddy?" _

"_That's a very hard question to answer. Love isn't always like in fairy tales. There's different kinds of love. I don't love your dad like Ariel loves Prince Eric. But I do love him in a way where I want to see him happy, and I want to try and make him happy. Sometimes it's very hard, though, and I let my temper get in the way of trying to love him today."_

"_Ok." She's thinking quietly, her brow wrinkled in thought. Now she reminds me of myself. _

_A few minutes later she's come to a silent conclusion but she obviously doesn't want to talk anymore about it. She takes a sip of her lemonade and starts talking again. "How…did you get pregnant, Mama?"_

_I choked on my drink. "Uh…well...when your daddy and I were dating, we shared a kind of…bond…that grown-ups get to have. Sometimes it can make a baby. Then the baby grows in the mommy's tummy for nine months and comes out." I don't think I gave away too much there…_

"_Where do babies come out from?"_

"_There's a tube that goes from the mommy's tummy down through where she goes potty."_

_Grace's eyes get big. "One or two?"_

_I can't help but laugh. "One."_

"_Where did I come out at? In my bedroom?"_

"_No, at the hospital here." _

"_Wow. Where?"_

_I tell her about the delivery room and the nurses and about her little tiny crib on wheels. "I still have your baby bracelet."_

"_Can I see it?" Grace's eyes light up._

"_Sure." I lead her up to my old room and take the shoebox from the shelf in my closet. I don't know why I left it here when we moved. I remind myself to take it back with me. We sit on the bed and I open the lid. _

_Keepsakes from when I was growing up fill the box. I take out the baby bracelet, rolled up around my own. She looks at it and smiles. I take things out of the box and show them to her, then lay them on the bed. At the bottom of the box is a picture wrapped in a Ziploc bag. _

"_I forgot I had this in here." It was the only thing Edward had forgotten to grab in his hasty retreat. It was the first time I'd looked at it since. _

"_Mama, who's that man?" _

_I sigh heavily. "His name was Edward. We were together in school."_

"_What's that picture from?" She takes it gently and studies it._

"_Prom."_

"_You were very pretty, Mama." I smiled wanly; after all the years it still hurt. The hole threatened to tear apart again. "Why didn't you marry him? You look like you loved him." Loved him like fairy tales, I knew she meant. So perceptive. She really is so much like me. _

"_I did, very much." My voice betrays me and a tear falls. "He…didn't want me." I put the picture in the box and the box in my nightstand so I can remember to take it with me back home. _

"_Why?"_

"_I don't really know, Baby."_

_She thinks very hard about something and then flings her arms around me. "I want you, Mama. I never don't ever want you!"_

"_I want you too, Baby," I laugh. _

_I dry my tears on her hair and pull back. _

"_Ok. Enough of the sadness. The fireworks are going to be starting soon, and we need to beat it to the beach."_

_Half an hour after we're sitting on the beach, a ways away from everyone else. "Girl time," I explained to my dad. He took Nicky and had "guy time". _

_The fireworks are amazing, especially seeing them with my baby girl. All too soon it's eleven and I'm ready for bed. "I'm going to go to bed, Grace. Grandpa is straight up the beach that way. Go on to him and have him text me when you get there, ok?" I'd had Grace do this many times before. I don't think anything of it this time. I don't see the storm coming. So stupid. _

"_Yeah, Mama." We say good-night and I walk back to Billy's and crash on the fold-out. Moments later I'm asleep._

_I'm wakened by Charlie shaking me. "Bella! Wake up now!"_

"_What's wrong?" I rub my eyes groggily. What time is it?_

"_Is Grace with you?"_

"_No, she's supposed to be with you."_

"_She's not here. I figured she went home with you because of the storm, but when I put Nicky to bed she wasn't there."_

_I bolt out of bed and put my sneakers and coat on at the same time. "What storm?"_

"_A storm rolled in over a half hour ago. I took Jake and Mel home before coming back. Billy's already in bed." He has the phone in his hand. "I'm calling the station."_

"_I'm going to go look for her." Panic is setting in. I look at the clock—it's been an hour since I came back. _

"_You can't go out in this! Bella—!" I'm already out the door. The rain is pounding and I can't see very far in front of me. The sand slows my footsteps; I feel like I'm making no progress. Lightning flashes and I see something up ahead—that log wasn't there before; I'm sure of it. I push myself harder and come up to it—it's not a log. Blonde hair. Tiny, fragile little body, soaking wet, overcome by the waves every time they washed over it. _

_No. Please, God, no._

…Josh held me tight and dried my tears as I spoke. I took a shuddering breath and started again.

"I dragged her out of the water and tried CPR, but it didn't help. The EMT's came on ATV's and tried to resuscitate her, too…but it was too late. I called Mike, but by the time he showed up they had taken her away in the ambulance. Reporters were everywhere and I just wanted to get to Nicky, but Mike followed me to the house and yelled at me, telling me it was my fault, I was a horrible parent and I'd never get to see Nicky ever again. He did the exact same thing not two days before, letting Grace and Nicky walk on the beach! During the divorce, I barely scraped by without supervised visitation. Everyone in Kalispell thought I was this horrible person, this horrible mother, as bad as a murderer."

I fell silent for a minute as Josh held me.

"We don't know what happened. We think she must have just wanted to go in the water, and didn't know the storm would make the water so turbulent. We never let her swim without either of us before, and she knew that. She'd walked the beach that half-mile so much. It was in view of the house and she knew better than to go in the water. We just…don't have a clue."

Josh didn't apologize. He didn't pity me. He just held me, which was more than anyone else had done. A bit later we walked back to the house and continued with the day.

* * *

The bonfire was fun. We ate and laughed and told stories until early morning came around. We finally dragged our butts home around two a.m. completely exhausted. Again.

That night, though, as I lay next to Josh on the old, sunken fold-out, I remorsed over the second lie I had told Josh this weekend. It was necessary, though. Not only did I have to uphold the Cullen's secret, there was no sane explanation for what really happened. The nightmare of the truth. As I lay quietly in my insomnia I couldn't help seeing what really happened again and again, unbidden in my mind.

_I drag Grace's body out of the water and check her over, getting ready to do CPR. As I bend her neck I feel some little bumps along her throat. I look closely at her, by the light of my watch. What…How the hell? A small crescent marks her flesh, fresh, red and raw. My stomach turns at the liquid dripping from the wound onto the sand._

"_No…no…" I lay her back on the sand. "Who are you!" I call out into the storm. "Why did you do this! Come out, come on, coward! She's a child! An innocent child! You fucking demon!"_

_From the trees I hear a howl and a scream; it becomes engulfed in thunder and I try to convince myself it's the night playing tricks on me. It doesn't work. I turn back to Grace and sob; I start CPR even though I know it's a lost cause. _

_I have to try. _

I never found out what vampire killed my baby. But rest assured if they ever came near me or my family again I would kill them, whether I was changed or not.


	11. Inquisitions

**Hello all my lovelies! And a special hello and thank you to my reviewers. Love you all more than words can express!**

**This chappie is in Edward's point of view, and it's shorter than the rest. I needed to put this in Edward's pov but I didn't want him taking over the story, so it's a demi-chapter. I hope you enjoy it!**

**As always, Stephenie Meyer owns all. I own a Cheshire Cat key chain. My son loves to bat at it like a cat himself...**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Ten and a Half: Inquisitions**

"Here are the files you wanted, Edward. Are you sure you won't come with us?" Carlisle leaned against my desk where he had just put the manila envelope.

I nodded. "Yes. I need to stay and keep an eye on Bella." I made my way silently across the room to him and picked up the files. "I assume everything is in here?"

"Everything the doctors know, yes. I had to pull quite a few strings to get these."

"And I thank you very warmly for that."

"You're welcome, Edward."

"Have you been over them yet?"

He sighed and shook his head. _Just know that some things Bella hasn't told you for a reason, son._

"We have had this conversation before," I reminded him in a tone that ended the conversation.

"Yes." He straightened and grasped my shoulder firmly. "Just think about it. Have a good break. We will see you in a few weeks."

"Good-bye. Merry Christmas."

He smirked. "Merry Christmas to you, too."

I listened to my family leave before sitting on my lounge chair and opening the envelope. I had asked Carlisle weeks ago for this information, and he had had to pull quite a few strings indeed for them. He was not fondly remembered in Forks. He finally had to go through Jenks to obtain the files.

When Bella came to our house for dinner the first time, I heard Carlisle's confession about keeping tabs on Bella while they were talking in his den. I was shocked. I felt betrayed; how could he have kept this from me? Of course, I understood. I would have done it the same way if roles were reversed. It didn't stop me from feeling hurt, however.

"What happened last summer?" I had asked after she went home that night.

"Grace, Bella's daughter, died."

"She didn't tell me she had a daughter. She didn't tell any one of us."

"I can understand why. The whole ordeal was a nightmare."

"What happened?"

Carlisle frowned and rubbed his hands over his face; a human habit still deeply engrained in him. "She died over a year ago. She drowned."

"Do you have the reports?"

"No."

I insisted that he get me the autopsy reports. I didn't know myself why I needed them; I simply felt the urge to know the morbid details and my instincts rarely led me wrong. I hated that my instincts told me to get the papers. Carlisle had warned me against doing something Bella obviously didn't feel I should know. I listened and understood, but decided against his advice.

I pulled the files out of the envelope and read them. Everything seemed in order with drowning until I got to the description of the body.

_Victim has two crescent-shaped marks on her neck. She seems to have been bitten, possibly by a wild animal. However, due to the amount of water in her lungs, COD still appears to be drowning…Upon further inspection of the body the bite marks appear to be human._

No note of exsanguination…what happened to Grace? It seemed like a vampire, that was a given. But what really happened to this little girl? I got onto the computer and searched the area's newspapers. They mentioned the same things over and over again. Only the Forks paper and the local paper here held a full article of the little girl. They had done a front-page article about the incident. The front picture was of Grace, all dressed up for Easter. I could see the edge of an Easter Bunny costume next to her that the cropper couldn't cut out. She looked so much like Bella except with blonde hair and blue eyes. Pictures following that one were more heartbreaking. A picture of the whole family; a picture of the beach where she was found. That particular article didn't say much about Bella, but the following ones painted a witch hunt for her. Mike had manipulated the situation, pegging Bella as a neglectful and dangerous mother. I could kill him.

Sometime later I looked at the clock. It was a little after six; they should have been on the road by now. I sent her a text message.

**Be safe. Let me know when you get there, unless you want me to come after you again…on second thought, don't let me know. :) **

It was only a few moments later that I got her reply.

**Don't over react again, Edward or you will be sorry. I may be just human but I can whip your ass in other ways. **

Unbidden, the image of Bella with a riding crop in her hand flashed through my head. Even though as a male vampire I am naturally dominant, the thought made wearing jeans suddenly uncomfortable. I adjusted myself and sent her a text back.

**I'd like to see you try, Bella.**

It was a challenge, but one I knew would put her in her place if I had the chance to test it.

She didn't respond.

The next day I was headed to Forks. After all, I had warned Bella I would be coming if she refused to tell me she made it there in one piece. Ah, technicalities. I had found it both amusing and to my benefit if I lived according to them when it came to Bella. I pulled up to her old house, hoping she would be there visiting her friend, but I could find no trace of her.

I could, however, smell a horrible smell that I hadn't experienced in years. If I needed to breathe, it would have taken the air from my lungs.

I saw a russet-skinned man exit the house and hurry down the path to a car in the driveway. I could just hear him talking on the phone to someone. This must be Jacob.

"I'll be there in a few, Mel. We need to stop and pick up some buns for tonight, too. Yeah, I went home to change a bit ago. I dunno, she seemed upset when she came back in from the beach with Josh. No, I don't think she was mad at him. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too, Grace. Oh, ok, I'll let you go. See you in a few. Love you."

He hung up the phone and drove down the street. I was surprised that he didn't seem to notice me; he was most surely the descendant from Ephraim and definitely a wolf from the smell of it. Maybe he just wasn't paying attention. Dangerous, for a wolf not to have his guard up.

I headed to our old house after that. It was dank and musty-smelling, but at least the house keepers we had hired weren't shirking their work. I was pleased to find my bedroom how I had left it. I dawdled around the house for a few hours, went for a short hunt, then made my way back to Jacob's house in the late afternoon. I was pleasantly surprised to discover him pull up to the driveway a few seconds after I did. He would have smelled me by now and I weighed my options. In the end I decided it would be better to step out of the car rather than hide in it; I didn't want to seem on the offense. He pulled up to the house and warned the woman he was with to stay in the car.

"What do you want?" He called as he got out of the old decrepit vehicle.

"I just want to talk with you. I have no intention of harming you or anyone else." I took a couple of steps forward with my hands raised in submission.

He nodded and told his very pregnant wife to go inside. She obeyed without argument and kept her head down the whole way. Jacob crossed the street to me and stood a few feet away.

"What do you want, Cullen?" _And why can I smell you all over Bella?_

He could smell me on Bella? What had she told him, if anything? I decided to play dumb.

"I came to check on Bella and ask you some questions, that's all."

"It seems to me you've already seen her. I can smell you on her."

There goes playing dumb. "Yes, I know. I ran across her a few months ago and have been keeping an eye on her since—"

"You mean stalking her." His arms were crossed over his rumbling chest. He was trembling.

"I only mean to see that she is well, Jacob."

"She's fine. Now leave."

"See, now, that remains to be seen. It has recently come to my attention that she has come in contact with a vicious vampire. I need to know what happened."

"Why do you need to know?" He yelled. Hostility rolled off of him. I knew I needed to calm him down before something set him off.

"Look Jacob. I am aware of the whole mortal enemy thing, but can you just calm down for two seconds, please? I left Bella, I know, and it was wrong of me, I know. Not only how I left her, but that I hurt her so much. I left her for her safety, because I was scared of I or my family losing control and killing her." No need to go into details and have them go after Jasper… "I came across Bella by accident and I didn't want to interfere with her, but I need to know if she is in any danger from a vampire. I know that however she came in contact with them happened here, and I came to you for answers. All I want to do is keep her safe."

Jacob sized me up, scratching his head. He sighed. "You nearly killed her by leaving her, you know."

"I realize that. And I feel dreadful about it. But would you have rather I slipped control and bitten her?" He flinched. "I didn't think so. Would you please tell me what happened?"

He debated for a moment and I wished I had Jasper here with me to calm him down and be in my favor.

"I'm assuming you know about the pack?"

"I guessed as much by your scent. I remember it from your great-grandfather."

"It was last summer. Bella was here with her family. I'm sure you've figured out she has a son, right?" I nodded. "She had a daughter, too. I wasn't there when it happened. We were watching fireworks on the beach and a storm started up. Mel had taken the car home earlier because she had to work, so Charlie took me home. He had Bella's son, Nicky with him. When I got back my phone was ringing and Sam told me to get down to La Push immediately, so I left. They were maybe a mile from where I had been, in the forest. When I got there they had already killed the vampire and were ripping her up, getting ready to burn her. I could hear Bella screaming on the beach, just faintly over the storm, but Sam assured me she was fine. The bloodsucker had killed Grace and made it look like a drowning, he said. I asked if Bella knew anything, but he said no. She would probably guess because of the bites, but she had no idea about who or about us. We burned the leech and I went to take care of Bella. That's all I know about it." He was heartbroken over the loss of Grace, that much was apparent.

"Did you get a look at the vampire?" I asked.

He nodded. "Woman. Changed in maybe her late teens, early twenties. It's hard to tell with you…_people."_ The way he stressed the word clued me in to his waning patience with me. He continued, though. "Red hair…I'd never seen hair that color before, it was like fire."

No. Not possible. "You didn't get a name?" I asked frantically.

"No."

"She didn't say anything?"

"Not to me, but Sam was thinking about it over and over when I go there. I think all she said was, 'kill me, go ahead. I got my revenge.' We can hear each other when we're in wolf form. We didn't know what the hell she was talking about, who would have wanted revenge against little Gracie?"

"I know who." I told him an abbreviated version about what happened to Bella with James and he looked confused.

"What does that have to do with the redhead?"

"She was James' mate. I and my family didn't expect her to come after Bella, we figured she would come after me."

"Huh. Too bad she didn't."

I rolled my eyes at Jacob. "At least she's dead now." But at the expense of Grace? I didn't voice it, but the thought was shared a second later in Jacob's mind.

"Are you satisfied now? Will you leave Bells alone?" Jacob asked.

"I am satisfied. However, I cannot promise I will not leave her be."

"You've been in contact with her, huh?"

"Yes," I said simply.

"I knew I smelled you on her too much for just being near her. Listen. If you hurt her again—I don't care if it's physical, mental, or she bumps into your freakishly hard body and gets a tiny bruise—I _will_ violate the treaty, and I _will_ come after your ass. Got it, glitter boy?"

"I have no plans to harm her, pup. Thank you for the information." I made my way to the driver's side and started my car. Jacob knocked on the window and I rolled it down. "Yes?"

"I'm going to tell the rest of the pack about this."

"I expected nothing less. At least now you can tell them why Grace died."

"Does she know about us?"

"No, I never told her. I'm surprised you never did either."

"Wasn't allowed to. If she needs to know, though…you know. I'm not giving permission, because I'm not supposed to…but that part's not in your side of the treaty." _Please tell her. Please. I need her to know, I can't keep going like this._

He didn't know I could hear him. I nodded and rolled the window back up, and debated for a moment before taking off back to Montana. She would be safe enough with the wolves around, and as long as she was on the Quileute land I couldn't see her anyway. I sighed.

This was going to be a long-ass break.


	12. Declaring

**Thank you for the reviews! Love you all bunches!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. Jasper owns me. **

**Enjoy! XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Eleven: Declaring**

Josh had just gotten into the shower and I was sitting at the kitchen table early Christmas morning drinking coffee and reading a book when the front door opened. Jake and Mel walked in.

"Hey!" I called softly through to the living room.

"Hey, Bella. How's it going?"

"All right. How about yourself?" I put my book down. "You're here early, no one else has even gotten up yet."

Jake bent down and ruffled my hair. I scowled at him. "We're good. Mel wanted to come early so she could get Santa's present to Nicky under the tree without him noticing." He winked at me and I smiled.

"Want some coffee? Just made it."

"Yeah, thanks." Jake loped to the counter and poured himself a mug. Mel followed him in and helped herself a glass of orange juice.

"So I've been meaning to ask—how long do you have left?"

"About three weeks. Thank goodness." She and Jake both laughed. "I'm getting to be so uncomfortable. I'm just glad it's not in the dead of summer." Mel patted her stomach. I nodded.

We were quiet for a bit, then Jake cut his eyes to Mel and gave her a requesting look. She took the hint and left the room, dropping a kiss on his head.

"What's up?" I asked. I refilled my mug.

Jake fidgeted for a moment before speaking. "Uh…well, there's no easy way to put this, so I'll just come right out and say it. I know that you've been around Edward, and I need to know if he's been…well, you know…trustworthy, I guess."

I choked on my coffee. "What?"

"I know the whole situation. About what he is, too. I can't tell you how I know, but I just do. Don't try to lie or explain your way out of it. I need to know if he's been threatening to you."

"Uh…Jake, what are you talking about, what makes you think—"

"I said don't lie to me, Bella! I smelled the damn leech on you and he's been to see me." He was angry and shaking.

"I—I—yes. Yes, I've seen him," I choked out. How the hell did he know about Edward? Did he know what the rest of the Cullens were too?

"Are you back together with him? What are you doing with Josh? I thought I knew you better than this, Bella!"

"What exactly are you accusing me of, Jacob Black?" The fact that he was right didn't escape my mind. The fact that he—my best friend—would accuse me of it right off the bat had me defensive, even though I knew I deserved it. This whole situation confused the hell out of me and made my brain hurt.

"Uh—I just assumed that you were back together with him, that's all, Bella…" He backpedaled pretty quick, but he did it right into a wall.

"Thanks, Jake. Glad to know my best friend thinks so highly of me."

"I didn't mean it like that, Bells—"

"Fuck _you_, Jacob."

"Mama?" Nicky wandered into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"This is _so_ not over," I hissed at him. When I was done with Jake he would have a new asshole.

"Merry Christmas, Nicky," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

Nicky's eyes lit up. He bolted out of the kitchen and to the tree, staring in awe at the mound of presents. He took one and started shaking it fiercely.

"Hang on, hang on. Wait until your grandpa and Billy are up. Here, open this for now." I handed him his stocking, which had been tacked up on the wall next to the tree for lack of a mantel.

Nicky satisfied himself with pulling out the candy, little dollar-store toys, and those stupid shaped rubber bands he insisted on having. A little while later Charlie and Billy came into the living room with mugs of coffee in their hands and eyes glazed over with sleepiness.

"Ok, Nicky. Which one you gonna o-o-open first?" Charlie yawned, taking a seat next to Josh on the couch. I perched myself on the arm rest next to Josh.

Nicky grabbed the nearest one, labeled FROM SANTA (Mr. and Mrs. Jake and Mel Claus) and tore the paper off. He squealed in excitement at the Thomas the Train Engine track in front of him.

Next came an art set from Charlie. A dream catcher from Sue, who I wasn't sure he even remembered. A painted woodcarving of his name, also from Jake and Mel. When he ripped the paper off of a box from Josh, his eyes got as big as dinner plates. He gasped. It was a box, almost as tall as himself, and what was in it closely resembled a very hairy Emmett. Nicky smiled and started trying to tear the box apart.

"What is it," I asked Josh.

"It's that Bigfoot toy. You know, the one that does the backflips and growls and stuff?"

"Oh." It was the best I could come up with. Nicky was enthusiastic, however; he kept attacking the box, fighting his way into it.

"Hold on, hold on. I'll get a scissors," Charlie said.

Nicky started chewing on the box.

**XOXO**

"All right, Jake, you wanted to talk, let's talk," I said. We were in the old shed. The smell of oil still hung in the cold air. I could see my breath.

"I'm sorry I accused you of cheating, Bella. I really am."

I shrugged, but didn't open my mouth. I didn't trust myself to not say something stupid.

"Look, I'm not going to sugar coat it, Bells. I know what Edward is, what all of the Cullens are. Just because they supposedly don't drink from humans doesn't mean a thing to me. I don't trust them, and I don't want you around them again."

My mouth gaped. "How do you know what they are? Or that I've been around them?"

"I just know, ok? Edward came last night after we left the bonfire to talk to me."

"Why?"

"He wanted information on how Grace died."

"_He what_?" Snooping around behind my back? How low could you get?

"I don't know why exactly. He said something about you coming into contact with other vampires, and he wanted to protect you from whatever killed her."

"She drowned," I repeated my lie again automatically.

"Can the shit, Bells. I think we both know drowning was not COD." I cast my eyes down on the ground.

"Did he say he knew who?"

Jake nodded. "He didn't say her name but he seemed to know her. She had some kind of vendetta against you. Something about Edward killing her mate?"

_Victoria. _

She was still out there…I'd worried about her every so often over the years but I never thought she would go after me. I always figured she would go after the Cullens, and they could take her down no problem. I never dreamed she would go after me. Oh God, was she still out there? Still after Nicky or me? Please, no.

"It's ok, Bella. Breathe, please." Jake wrapped his arms around me and I let out a shuddering breath I didn't know I had kept in. "There's nothing to worry about now, she's dead."

"How do you know?"

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry, I hate saying it, but nothing has been more true. Just trust me when I say you have nothing to fear now."

I remained silent, processing the information. Edward had some serious explaining to do, going around behind my back and not telling me this as soon as he found out.

_Some merry Christmas._

**XOXO**

"Bed!" I flopped myself onto my own mattress for the first time in what felt like years. Josh had just dropped me off at home and left for his own home; we left Nicky at his dad's on the way. I didn't even unpack, just laid down. I surprised myself when I woke up a while later. I sat up and stretched and popped, feeling very refreshed. I took my time in the shower and brushing my hair. I was heating up some leftover Christmas ham when a rapping came to my sliding door. I rolled my eyes.

"Come in, Edward." The door opened and I came into the living room.

"Hello."

"Hey." I sat on the couch with my dinner and Edward leant against the sliding door. "You gonna just watch me eat?"

"Maybe."

"No fair. I'm not allowed to show you how awkward it is to be watched eating."

He scowled at me but said nothing.

"So…you want to tell me why you went to Forks?"

"Jacob did tell you then?"

"Yes. I want to know why you would go behind my back like that." I pushed my half-empty plate away and stood up, hands on hips. "Why didn't you just ask me? It's my story to tell, not Jacob's! You should have just asked me."

"I couldn't. You hadn't offered to tell me and I didn't think you would be comfortable with me just asking you—"

"Oh, and sneaking around is better?"

"I'm sorry. I was wrong. I know that I shouldn't have done that, but after Carlisle said he had been following you, and mentioned last July I needed to know what had happened. When I saw Grace's…autopsy reports—" I flinched when he said that, but he only briefly paused— "I felt like I had to find out the truth."

"Why? What made you think you need to know everything about my life?"

He gripped his hair and let out a frustrated growl. "I don't know! All right, I don't know ! I just needed to. I felt this…this pull to know what happened, and I felt this pull to help you, to protect you, because I knew what had really happened! I just wanted to make sure you were no longer in danger! Why is that so wrong of me?"

"Because if I wanted it to be your business I'd let you know!"

"You are a contradiction to yourself, Isabella Swan!"

"What do you mean?"

"In some ways you act like how women acted in my time. Sweet, and demure, and willing to just accept things for what they are. I say I felt a compulsion to know your situation and women—people in general—would have just accepted it back then! Not you! For how many ways you are like them, in just as many you are not! You can't accept things for what they are, can you? Nothing is good enough for you unless you have total control over the situation!"

"What are you talking about? I do not have to have control!"

"Yes you do! Over every little thing! You can't just sit back and let fate take her course."

"Name one thing."

"Us."

"You're a hypocrite. You're the one who left." His eyes were flashing in anger, and I was aware that I was goading him. I couldn't help myself, although I knew it was dangerous.

"And I can admit I was wrong. I'm taking the steps to make it better, to amend my wrongs! What steps are you taking?"

"What did I do wrong?"

"You refuse to accept me. You're going against fate and you refuse me over and over, even though we belong to each other."

"I know, but it doesn't matter that we belong together, I can never trust you again!"

_What did you just say, Bella?_

"I mean—"

He shook his head, looking like the cat that got the canary. "Uh-uh. No, you can't take that back. You said it yourself, Bella."

"I—I—it was a slip of the tongue. I didn't mean it like that, and you know it Edward." What had I gotten myself into? Edward started coming toward me. I backed up to the wall next to the couch; he kept coming.

"No, it wasn't. You don't think I hear you at night? I sit in that tree and I hear you as you lie asleep next to _him_ and you say my name? How do you think that makes your boyfriend feel when he holds you close and hears you call for me, not him?" He had me pinned against the wall, his hands gripping my wrists to my sides.

"You're lying."

"I'm not. You know I'm not. You know in here that you are for me." He tapped my chest over my heart, then laid his palm there. "I can feel how fast your heart is beating. You can't keep the truth from me."

"Fine. Ok, let's just pretend like I agree with you—" Edward stroked my cheek. It was very hard to form a coherent sentence with him so close. "I still can't trust you."

"And if you do agree with me then we can have years upon years for me to earn that back."

"Years? You won't change me."

"Don't be so sure."

He kissed me gently, just barely brushing our lips together. "I love you, Bella, and I need you. I learned my lesson the first time, and I'll do anything to keep you forever."

"You went behind my back to find out about Grace."

"Get used to it. I follow my instincts. Even if it means doing something you don't like.

"That's what I mean…I…can't trust…you," I managed to say in between his kisses.

"You know that's not a plausible argument, dear." Then he attacked my lips for real. I opened my mouth to his demanding tongue and let the coolness invade. He ran his hand from my hip to my breast and teased my nipple through my pajama top. I couldn't help but moan and his lips turned up against mine.

He nibbled his way over to my earlobe and down my neck. He stopped at my collarbone and slipped his hand under my tank top.

"I know I said you would have to choose me first, but I've been waiting so long…I need you now." Suddenly my top was gone and Edward's mouth was gone from my collarbone; now it was attached to my breast and my eyes were closed and I couldn't help my moaning.

"I love your noises, Bella." He dropped to his knees and stroked my sex through my pajama bottoms. "Open your eyes, Bella." I obeyed. His eyes still on mine, he pulled my bottoms down along with my panties. He stared unashamedly at my bare self and smiled. "You _do_ look beautiful like this." He leaned forward and it surprised me how erotic it felt to have him take a deep breath in and sigh in appreciation. I felt my stomach drop like I was going down a big hill and I took in an unsteady breath.

With the lightest touch, Edward ran his middle finger inside my folds. I gasped at the sudden cold. He chuckled darkly.

_Where are we…what the hell is going on…the dust has only just begun to fall…_

I knew that song…it was coming from my cell phone…Josh's ringtone.

_Holy mother of fuck!_

"Edward, stop."

"Don't do this, Bella." He straightened up.

"Edward, let me go. Now!" One of his hands was still pinning my hip to the wall. I squirmed to get him to let me go but he kept me there. He wasn't touching the slick heat of me anymore, though. His other hand was against my face.

"Please, Bella, don't answer that phone."

"It's Josh, I have to answer it." A tear streaked down my face and I couldn't stop it. His thumb brushed it away.

"No, you don't. You don't have to answer that phone, you don't have to go back to him."

"I can't _go back_ to him, I never left him! God, I can't keep doing this with you, Edward! Let me go! Now!" He didn't ease up. "So help me God, I will call Rosalie." He eased up a bit, but still wouldn't let up his grasp. "Why can't you just accept that I love Josh! And he, for some strange reason, loves me! I can't keep sneaking around behind his back like this, Edward! It's not fair to him, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me! Let me go, and don't ever do this again. Please, Edward, it's only hurting me." More tears.

"I'm not leaving you again, Isabella! You said it earlier, we belong with each other, you admitted it to me, to yourself. I love you, ten times as much as he could ever love you."

The sliding door opened again and Alice came into my apartment.

"Edward. Let's go. Now." Her eyes were black with anger and anyone could tell that she wasn't messing around.

"Not until she sees reason!"

"She's never going to if you keep scaring her like that. You need to leave. Carlisle's waiting downstairs."

Edward looked hard at me, then Alice, then back at me. He gripped my hair hard in his hand and crushed his lips to mine so roughly that I bit the inside of my lip. As soon as I felt the pressure let up, he was gone through the door. Alice came forward to me.

"You ok, Bella?"

"Yeah…fine."

"Here, sit down. You're heart's going a thousand miles a minute." Alice led me to my couch and stroked my hair as I calmed down. "Did he scare you?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"He didn't scare me in the sense of frightening. I just thought of all the ways that what he was doing could mess up everything with Josh, and that scared me. Oh, God. I hate myself. This is the third time I've cheated on Josh like this if you count since the first date, and that's not including all the times Edward's stayed the night. I can't keep doing this. I don't know what happens. He starts touching me and my mind goes blank and I can't think of why it's wrong, or even that it _is_ wrong! Why can't I do it?"

"I can't answer that for you, Bella. All I know is that the way I know he's making a move on you is that the future changes for you. When you're together I see you with him. Not Josh. And he really does love you, Bella. He's having a harder time than you with this, believe it or not."

"Hmm." I looked at the clock. Almost midnight. Why was Josh calling me so late?

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think I should do?"

"Exactly what's right for you and no one else. Be true to yourself and forget what everyone else thinks."

"And if that means leaving Josh for Edward? How can I just forget what he thinks or how he feels?"

Alice was quiet for a minute. "Does Josh ever irritate you? Or make you angry? Do you ever fight?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question, please."

"Well…no. I guess not."

"I know you fight with Edward. You did when you were together, too. Right?"

"Yeah."

"Think on that." She sighed. "I should let you sleep." Alice kissed my forehead and got up off the couch. "Just remember that he loves you, Bella. No matter how much of an ass he makes of himself."

"Sure."

She left out the door and I checked the voicemail Josh left on my phone. All he wanted was to know whether I had his shaving kit, which I did. I decided to call him the next day and went back to bed, my mind whirring around like mad.

Seemed like I had a knack for screwing up my life, huh?


	13. A Proposal

**I love springtime! The trees outside my apartment are blooming. It smells so pretty! Thank you to my readers and reviewers. Big kisses. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a stick of gum...I'm lame. **

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Twelve: A Proposal  
**

"Sure. And next week we can all ice skate to hell."

"Just talk to him, Bella. He feels awful."

"He should."

"He wants to apologize."

"Tell him to send a letter."

"Bella—"

"Alice, please. I can't see him again. I don't want to risk last night happening again."

It was the Friday after the day that had found Edward buried nose-deep in my privates parts; the one of New Year's Eve, and Alice had come back around noon to check on me. She found me in the tub, trusty bottle of Absolut on the floor next to me. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy red. Alice hauled my half-dead carcass out of the tub, forced me to put on my pj's and set me on the couch.

Then, once I was deemed sober enough, she brought up Edward wanting to speak with me. Didn't she know by now that any conversation we tried to have ended up with bad results?

"What if I was here with you?"

"It's too personal to talk about with anyone else there."

Alice sighed.

"I'm so confused."

"Do you still love him?" Alice asked.

_Of all the stupid questions…_

"I don't know." I loved him in Forks, I knew that. I loved him more than I loved Josh now. Certainly more than I ever loved Mike, if I loved him at all…but…Did I love Edward now? That was the million dollar question. I got butterflies in my stomach when he looked at me. A bolt of electricity shot through me every time our skin so much as brushed. The feelings he stirred in me last night sent my head spinning and a blush washing over my flesh. Just thinking of it made my toes curl. He affected me physically stronger than any man had ever. Emotionally he sent me in a tailspin; I felt like I was hurtling to the ground and he had his arms open to catch me. Josh…where did that put Josh? I felt like he was falling with me. Should I pull the cord on the parachute with him or keep falling to Edward and hope he catches me?

_This analogy wouldn't work if he didn't have vampire strength you know. _

_Or the strength of his skin could be like landing on a granite slate._

_Stupid analogy. _

_Shut up brain…_

"I don't know what to do, Alice. Should I tell Josh? He'll never trust me again. I'm never, ever, letting last night happen with Edward again. Period."

"I can't tell you what you should do. I could tell you what I want you to do, but I'm biased."

"You want me to be with Edward." It wasn't a question.

"I do. I've felt the love between you two, from what Jasper has shared with me, and it rivals what he and I have." She laughed. "Last night, even, he could feel the lust coming off of Edward and after things had settled down, he just leapt at me and—"

"No! Enough of that, Alice!" I covered my ears and giggled.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to get carried away. But honestly, Bella, don't deny yourself. I know you still love Edward."

"I love Josh, too, though."

"Yes. Now all you have to do is decide which one is the right choice for you."

"Josh. That's the easy answer. He doesn't push me to do bad things, he doesn't stalk me, I trust him completely, he makes me a better person in general. He's the good choice for me."

"I said right for you, not good."

"What do you mean?"

"Say you found five hundred dollars lying a block from the police station. As you are walking to turn it in you find a homeless person starving on the street. Do you turn it in, or do you use it to buy the homeless man food and shelter? Which is right, and which is good? You have to decide which is which for yourself, and then you have to decide what to do in the situation."

"What is with you vampires and the food comparisons?"

She shrugged. "Could be worse. I could have made him a starved-weak vampire and you offering yourself instead of money."

"Now I sound like a hooker."

"Perspective, Bella. Perspective."

We rolled around laughing on the couch. When we finally settled down I felt much better, despite my dilemma. "Grr…why does life have to be so confusing?"

"If everything was easy, there'd be no point in living."

"What is that, freaking vampire wisdom or something?"

"Wisdom that comes with time. And I've had plenty of it, Bella, believe me."

"I suppose…"

We sat and talked for a while longer until Alice had to leave. Josh was due any minute anyway, and though I had just seen him the day before, I was anxious to see him again. In both meanings of the word. Nervous that he would see the guilt written all over my face; excited to spend more time with him. I was dozing on the couch when he let himself in. I opened my bleary eyes and smiled at him.

"Hey, stranger."

"Hi. Did I wake you up?"

"I was sorta half-and-half." He kissed me, then lifted up my head and sat down underneath it. He stroked my hair, which almost put me back to sleep.

"Did you get enough sleep last night?" he asked me.

"Mmm…no, not really."

"How come?"

I shrugged. "Just didn't. You wanna watch the New Year's party?" I reached for the remote on the floor next to me and flicked on the TV, quickly finding the station. We watched and talked and kissed and cuddled until about ten minutes before the ball was supposed to drop.

Josh was still stroking my hair and had just got done telling me a funny joke when he cleared his throat.

"Uh…Bella?" He asked, all nervous-sounding.

"Yes?"

_Uh-oh. What's this about?_

"You love me, right?" he asked.

My eyes shot open and my heart sped. Did he know? "You doubt it?"

"I just want to hear you say it. I'm always the one who says it first."

"I love you, Josh. You know that. After meeting my dad you should know how I am when it comes to showing affection."

"True enough."

"I do love you. I'm sorry if I don't say it enough. I try to show it."

Josh kissed the outside of my ear. "I know. You do show me, all the time. And I love you, too, Bella. You're everything I've been searching for my whole life."

_Oh. Sure. Just pour on the guilt, why don't you._

"Really?"

"I'm a thirty-one year-old bachelor, Bella. The longest relationship I've been in was from when I was seventeen to the end of high school, and that's because I was too chicken-shit to break up with her and had to use graduation as an excuse." I laughed along with him. "Seriously, Bella. You're what I want. Forever."

"I'm not sure…what you're saying, Josh."

_The hell you aren't sure. _

He trailed his hand down my arm to my wrist, picked it up, and brought it to his lips in a gentle kiss. He pressed his mouth to each of my fingers, my palm, and up my arm to my neck. He lifted me up from his lap and sat across from me on the coffee table. We were almost eye to eye, as he was a substantial amount taller than I.

Josh's palm was against my cheek and a blush rose to warm his hand. "You're so beautiful, Bella, do you know that?" I cast my eyes down as my face reddened more. "Look at me," he gently asked. I obliged. "You know how they say New Year's is all about new beginnings, fresh starts, that kind of thing?" I nodded. "I know you've been hurt before, and your trust has been broken in the worst way. I promise I will never, _never_ do anything to break your trust. I'll love you until the day I die. You're it for me, and I've been waiting for you for so long. I don't have a good track record. Like I said, no meaningful relationships. But that's how I know you're the one. You're the only one I've ever wanted to be with. The only one I'd ever give this to." He pressed a small velvet box on my knee, top open.

Two small, round diamonds held a sapphire between them on either side of a larger, teardrop-shaped diamond, set in old-looking gold. It shined and sparkled by the twinkle lights still up from my Christmas decorations.

"You're the only one I'd ever ask to marry me."

Tears built in my eyes. I wasn't expecting this. Wasn't it just a few hours ago I was debating with Alice about Josh vs. Edward? I couldn't say yes honestly to Josh, not when I was just sucking face with my own personal ghost twenty-four hours ago. I couldn't say no, either. Not when I loved him as much as I did, the need to be with him so fierce.

I licked my lips. "It's beautiful, Josh."

He smiled. "It's Nana's. She sent it over when I told her I was going to ask you. It should be your size already."

"You told your family you were going to ask me?" My voice quavered.

"Only her. She said after Papa died that it was mine when I found the woman I wanted to marry." He sounded a bit less confident than earlier. "If you don't like it, we can get something different. It's just that I know you don't like money spent on you, and you like things with history to them better than new stuff…" I put my finger to his lips to silence his rambling.

I smiled. "It is beautiful, Josh. Truly. I love it. But…you're right. I've been hurt before, badly. After my divorce I swore I would never marry again. I love you so much that sometimes I feel like I'm flying. But I need to find out what being married to you means for myself. I hate to ask you this, but can I have a little bit of time to think?"

His face fell. "Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I—I'm sorry, Bella." He snapped the ring box closed and passed it from hand to hand nervously. I lifted his chin up and kissed him sweetly.

"It's not a no. I just need to decide if I'm ready for marriage again."

"And if you're not?"

"Then…we'd take it from there. I wouldn't want to break up, if that's what you're asking. You have to admit, this is moving pretty fast. Three months."

"I know, I know. I can't help how I feel, though. And if you do decide this is what you want, we can set it for whenever you want. Six months from now, a year. If you say yes, I won't fuss about the date."

"Thank you." My eyes strayed to the clock in the dining area. "Twenty seconds to go. What's your New Year's wish?"

"You already know."

I smiled. "I suppose I do. I love you, Josh."

"I love you too, Isabella."

"You've never called me that."

He shrugged, leaning in to me. "It's a beautiful name." His lips touched mine just as the clock chimed midnight.

"What's your wish," he asked me as we broke apart.

"Can't tell you." I kissed him again. "Or it won't come true."

**XOXO**

I was preparing the lesson plan for the new semester when someone knocked at my door.

"Come in," I called. Kimber came through with her arms loaded with schoolwork. "Hey. What's up?"

"I can't think in there. Gran has her ol' country music cranked up and I can't get a thing done."

"Shouldn't you be done with your homework by now? School starts tomorrow, you know."

"I know. I got most'a it done, just ain't got the math finished. You mind if I do it here?"

I shrugged. "Not at all. I'm doing schoolwork myself." She sat at the opposite side of the coffee table on the floor and cracked open her math book and got to work. An hour later she finished and stretched. "God, finally."

"Pizza?" I asked. It was almost seven.

"No mushies."

"Mushies?"

"Mushrooms. They're gross."

"Coming from the girl with the happy toast earrings?"

"Don't'cha like 'em?" She waggled her head so her earrings shook beneath her hair.

"They're…unique." She laughed along with me. Kimber had an interesting style. She had this website she ordered all of her jewelry from and it was all cutsie-stuff. Little cupcakes and puffy clouds and bunnies with little smiles on them. Her shirts had Cookie-Monster and Animal and old soda signs on them, usually paired with colorful skinny jeans and cargo pants. It was a cute style, but the happy-face food inspired jewelry was definitely…well, like I said, unique.

We were munching on pizza when Kimber happened to look on the end table by the wall. "What is _that_?"

_Crap. I thought I put that in my room._

"Uh…"

She picked it up and opened it. "Did he ask you to marry him!" She squealed and pulled the ring out.

"Well, yeah."

"So why ain't you wearing it?"

"I didn't say yes."

"What!"

"I didn't say no, either. I need to think about it."

"What's there to think about, you love him right?"

"You're my student, Kimber. What makes you think you should ask me these things?" I asked, irritated by her being kind of right.

"Get over it. You're a friend who happens to be my teacher, not my teacher who happens to be my neighbor. You love him?"

"Yeah."

"So what's the problem?"

I blew out a harsh puff of air and refilled my soda. I paced the living room as I talked. "There's a lot to think about, Kimber. When I was married before it wasn't because I loved him. I got pregnant and felt obligated. It ended badly. I don't want it to end up like that again."

"But you just said you love him. It's not like before. You're not pregnant again, are you?"

"Oh, God, no. No! I don't want to risk getting hurt again."

"You don't trust him?"

"No, I trust him completely."

"Then what's the problem?" She folded her arms across her chest, smirking.

_I hate it when she's right._

"I—it's complicated."

Kimber rolled her eyes. "Please. Don't give me that tired ol' line."

I glowered at her.

"There someone else?"

"What would give you that idea?"

"'Cause that's the only reason I can think of you wouldn't wanna marry Josh."

"I…" I trailed off, unable to make myself tell the truth.

"You can trust me, Bella. I won't say a thing."

I studied her for a moment, then growled.

"Ok. Say, hypothetically, that there was someone you once felt so strongly for you thought you would die without. And when that person did leave, you kept on going. Sure it wasn't as good as before, but at least you proved to yourself that you could survive. Then you get burned again, worse in some ways, not as bad in others, but again you kept on going. Then you meet that new person, someone who treats you so good, and you love almost as much as the first person, and you want to be with that person. But hold on, the first person comes back, but because they left out of the blue you can't trust them completely anymore, and society would _so_ hate you for being with them. But he promises the world, promises it'll be different this time, and you're so scared to try, and then the other guy asks you to marry him, then what do you do? What then? Do you do the good thing and marry the guy or do you do right by yourself and be with the first guy?"

_Did I even breathe?_

_Wait…right and good?_

_Damn you, Alice._

Kimber was still sitting on my couch, eyes wide. She looked almost like one of those cartoons, with birdies circling her head. "So…wait. Josh is the third guy, right?" I nodded. "And your ex husband the second?" I nodded again. "So…does that make the third guy Alice's dad?"

"What? What gave you that idea?"

"You used'ta babysit for the family. Then they moved. If you were the babysitter you could've fallen for him, I can see that. He comes back and stirs things up, that's why you were so upset the first day of school, you were nervous about seeing him, wasn't you? And you can't be with him, because of the age thing, and he's still married. They ain't getting divorced, are they? Alice han't told me anything, and they seem so…normal, compared to most married people."

"Kimber, it's absolutely, positively, not Carlisle."

"It ain't?"

"No." She opened her mouth. "And I'm not going to tell you who it is."

She sat and thought for a moment. "Well…I'd have'ta say…do right by yourself. It may seem that the right thing to do, what society and everything anyone ever told'ja is telling you to go with Josh, but you have'ta do what's right for you."

"But it's so selfish. And I really do love Josh."

"Then think about it."

"That's what I told him I'd do. I'd let him know in a couple of days."

Kimber shrugged. "That's all I really know what to say, Bella."

"Thanks." Someone knocked at my door. I crinkled my brow and went to answer it.

Edward was on the other side of the door.

"Edward."

"We need to talk," he whispered lowly.

"I'm helping Kimber now, Edward. You're early for your tutoring session. You'll just have to wait."

"Actually, Bella, I think I got it. I gotta get home anyway. Thanks for your help. An' remember what I said."

"Thanks." She slipped across the hall and I let Edward in.

"What do you want?"

"He asked you to marry him."

"Keen observation. I suppose I have Alice to thank for that?"

"No. You have your rambling at Kimber to thank."

"Ugh. Did she really think I was after Carlisle?"

He stifled a smile. "Fortunately for our secret, yes. But that's not what I want to talk to you about."

"Are we going to talk or are you going to attack me again?"

"My intentions are perfectly honorable, Bella. I came only to ask your forgiveness for how horrible I acted last night."

"You're forgiven."

"Thank you." He stood, staring at me.

"What?"

"You said no?"

"Not that it's your business, but I said I'd think about it."

"Because of me?"

"Because I don't want to get hurt. Again. I don't want to be left feeling completely undesirable for the third time in my life."

A guilty look crossed Edward's face. "I told you I was sorry, Bella. I told you my reasons behind my leaving."

I sighed. "I know. I know, I'm sorry. It is how I felt, though."

"I wish I hadn't done that to you."

I shrugged.

"Are you going to say yes?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"I don't want you to."

"You gave up the right to influence my actions long ago."

"It doesn't change how I feel."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know," I sighed.

"You still love me." It wasn't a question.

"I know," I conceded.

"But you love him more."

"I trust him more. I love you the same."

"Lies."

"Are you just going to go around in circles all night or are you going to accept how I feel?"

He took my coat from the hook and gave it to me; I automatically put it on.

"Come with me, Bella." He held out his hand and I warily took it. He pulled led me to his car quickly and drove me up around Foys Lake road, took a sharp left into Lone Pine State Park, and drove me up to the parking lot at the top. He got out and opened my door for me.

"Are you nuts, Edward? It's covered in snow!"

"Do you trust me?"

"In theory?"

"Not good enough anymore. Give me your trust, just lend it to me for now if you have to. Let me show you that I've learned from my mistakes."

I grumbled but took his hand and let him lead me up the short, slippery hike to the summit. The sun was setting behind us, and the glaciers slightly to the left glowed in orange and pink. The clouds made the mountain range in front of us a dark blue, with curtains of white snow tinted purple.

"Growing up, I never doubted the existence of God." Edward came up behind me as I leant over the stone wall keeping us—me—from meeting a sticky end on the hiking trail way below. I let myself relax slightly. "I wasn't spiritual, and I never formed my own opinions. But I never doubted that He was there. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. On the first day, He made light. On the second, sky and water. Then the division of land and water. On the fourth day, He created that." Edward pointed to the moon, risen slightly over the mountain range, opulent-looking in the dusk and reflecting the same pink-orange that was on the glaciers. "And that." He thumbed over his shoulder where I didn't have to look to know the sun was setting. "And the stars that will be coming out soon. After that, He created the birds, and the sea creatures. And then animals.

"Finally, He created man. And from man He took a rib, and created a companion, someone Adam could talk with on the same level as himself. Someone to share the animals and the garden with. As a young man, I was raised to believe that a woman is subservient to a man. Her place was in the home with the children. Marriage was not about love. They were not partners, not companions, just…convenience. A way to obtain status or wealth. It confused me that the people who raised me together and were the most important people in my life were as good as strangers to each other for how much affection they had.

"Love was the stuff of fairy tales until Carlisle brought home Esme. I saw from that first day how he felt for her. I asked him to explain to me what he was feeling, but I couldn't understand from his descriptions. I came to Esme and asked her, and she told me something her parents, who were very much in love even from childhood, told me.

"She said, 'Edward, do you recall the story from the Bible, when God created Eve? How He put Adam into a sleep and took a rib from him, and formed Eve with it. That way the two could really become one flesh, though they shared no blood. I believe that when God creates His children, He decides who will be best for the other, and takes a rib straight from the man and puts it into the woman. He puts them in their mother's wombs and they spend their whole lives searching for each other. A man searching for his flesh in the woman it was given to. When they find each other, they can finally be whole together.'

"Does it make any sense to you, Bella?"

I nodded my head, still staring out at the mountains, gradually growing darker and darker.

"Do you understand why I love you so? You _are_ my other half."

"Where does that leave Josh? He believes_ I_ am _his_ other half."

Edward sighed. "I don't know. I only know what I know, and that is that you were made for me."

"Edward, if you hadn't been changed you would be long dead before I was born. Do you really expect God to hang on to your rib for so long before creating me?"

"Expect? I don't _expect_ God to do anything. No…but I wouldn't put it past Him."

"If you believe that, then you have to believe that He would know you would end up as a vampire, and therefore how can you believe you are damned?"

"Hmm…you have a point, my Bella. I will have to think on that." He nuzzled his nose into my neck and drew in a deep breath. He kissed there as he breathed out.

"I want you to choose me."

"I know."

"I want you to marry me."

I groaned. "I guessed as much."

"I am willing to change you this time."

"Excuse me?" I squeezed out of his embrace and turned to face him angrily.

"I am willing to change you if you accept me."

"What, are you trying to bribe me?"

His jaw dropped open; a look of shock crossed his face. "No, that's not what I meant at all!"

"You are such an ass!"

He put his hands up in surrender. "Listen to me, that's not—"

"Take me home."

"Would you just—"

"Now!" I stomped my foot in the snow. Some trickled in and I tried not to flinch and ruin my angry glare.

Edward got close to me. It was the first time I had ever seen him angry at me, and it scared me. He threw his arms up in the air. "Fine! You are a stubborn, hypocritical woman who can't see what's in front of her face! If you marry this man you'll be making a huge mistake, but see if I stop you! I'm done! I'm done trying to change your mind, trying to change your heart! If you change your mind, I'll be here, but I'm done pouring out my heart to convince you that I am the right decision! I won't touch you, I won't kiss you, I won't argue anymore. I'm done. I'm tired of sacrificing myself to gain your trust. I've done all I can, it's up to you to realize it. Come on. Let's go." He turned from me and walked down the hill. I followed, stunned.

The ride back to my apartment was dead-silent and I got out without saying a word; he pealed out of the parking lot.

Inside my apartment, I stood in the living room, still stunned. How dare he yell at me? Hypocritical? Making a huge mistake? How was marrying Josh a mistake? I loved him. Realize what? Stupid damn vampire. What did he know?

I dove for the box on the coffee table, shoved it in my coat pocket, and ran downstairs to my truck. The ten minutes to Josh's I smoked to keep my mind off thinking. I popped about five breath mints, sprayed myself with body spray (convenient for hiding cigarette smell during school) and ran up Josh's walk, miraculously not spraining my ankle on the icy-slick concrete in the process. I banged on the door.

Josh had barely opened the door when I threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms as best as I could around his neck and tugged him down into a deep kiss. After the shock wore off, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back.

I pulled away after a few minutes and looked at him.

"Bella. What was that about?" he panted.

"Yes."

"Yes…? Yes? Yes!" He hugged me tight.

"Yes. Yes, Josh, I'll marry you."

"Oh, God, Bella. Thank you. Thank you so much." He took my left hand. "Why aren't you wearing the ring?"

"I figured you'd want to do the honors." I pulled the ring box out of my pocket and handed it to him. He slipped the gorgeous ring onto my finger and smiled down at me. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Josh. Always."

_So why do I feel like the bottom just dropped out?_


	14. Conversation Hearts

**Yeah, yeah. Have I given you all substantial time to hate me now? Don't worry, it will be a Bella/Edward story in the end. Just don't get your panties in a bunch. As per usual, bunches of thank-yous to my reviews. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own nausea-morning sickness my ass.**

**Enjoy! XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Thirteen: Conversation Hearts**

"Christmas time? You're sure?"

"Yes. Is that ok with you?"

"That's great! The only thing better would be if we already had it." Josh stroked my hair and I kissed his nose.

"What day were you thinking?"

"I don't know. I don't want to get up to look for a calendar." We were lying in his bed in the wee hours of morning the day school was to start back up, the Wednesday after Josh had proposed, discussing when everything would take place. Far too comfortable to be bothered with looking for a calendar.

"Do you want to have a big wedding with all the frills? Or something smaller?"

"Well…I don't want it to be huge. I didn't really _have_ a wedding with Mike, you know. Something casual, not a big deal. I don't want to look like a big frosted cupcake."

He chuckled. "I don't see you as a cupcake, no. Inside, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah. I don't want everyone to be freezing."

"How about in the lodge up on Big Mountain?"

"The ski resort? Do they do weddings?"

"We can see, at least."

"That'd be really exp—" I was interrupted by my phone ringing on the nightstand next to me. I half-turned to grab it. Alice. "I'd better get this. She'll just keep calling."

He nodded. "I need to use the bathroom anyway." He got up and I sat against the headboard and flipped my phone open.

"Hello, Ali—"

"The lodge does weddings, but they're pretty spendy. Of course, for the small price of your best friend planning your wedding, that fee can be taken care of."

"Uh—hi?"

"Hi. What do you think?"

"Well…I would love for you to plan my wedding. But you don't have to pay for using the lodge. I'm sure Josh and I can come up with it."

"Consider it my present to you."

"Alice…"

"I won't hear any more of it. I'm coming over after school tomorrow to get started."

"I have to work at the diner."

"Um…Bella, about that…just trust me, I'll be at your house whenever you get home."

"What do you mean by that, Alice? What did you see?" Josh came into the bedroom; the sight of him naked was very distracting to my conversation.

"I can't tell you, Bella. I know it's not fair, but it's better if things just go on their own, ok?"

"Yeah…I guess. I'll see you later then."

"Bye!"

Josh ran his fingers over my thigh. I broke out in goosebumps. "What was that all about?" he asked.

"Oh, she wants to plan the wedding."

"You told her already?"

"Uh…yeah. She came over the other day, to help me sort my thoughts out."

"Hmm."

"What do you mean, 'hmm'?"

"Nothing. Just…Hmm. A random sound of…understanding."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Hmm."

He reached his fingers higher up my thigh and I pushed it away. "Come on. We need to sleep. I have to go to work in a few hours."

"I guess." Josh pulled me close to his chest and I fell asleep easily in his arms.

* * *

Halfway through my last-period class a delivery man came through my door with a huge bouquet of red roses. The kids wolf-whistled and jeered at me as I blushed profusely and smiled. Edward's eyes met mine and the hurt in them tore at my heart. Suddenly the flowers didn't make me feel so happy.

At the end of the horribly long day, Kimber hopped in my truck all smiles. She started bouncing in her seat as soon as I started the truck.

"Whoa, what's got you so happy?" I asked her.

"I got asked out on a date!"

"Really. That's great. With who?"

"Nelson."

"Nelson Hayes? From my first period class?"

"Yeah. I got another class with him an' we usually have lunch together with a couple of other people. He pulled me aside at the end of lunch an' asked me to go see that movie with the dancers this weekend. You know, the one with the old singer in it?"

"Cher?"

"Yeah. I think that's her name."

_Wow. That doesn't make me feel old, not at all._

"That's great, Kimber. Do you think your grandma will let you?"

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "She don't notice I'm home enough to know if I'm goin' on a date."

"Things not going so well?"

She sighed hard and stared out the window. "When I were a kid she would take me out for ice cream an' to the show. We'd spend hours playing Scrabble an' stuff. I hated going home after being at Gran's, 'cause it was like a break from all the shit goin' on with my mom an' my brother. But now Gran don't even pay attention to me. I go home, she don't even say hi or ask how my day was. All she does is sit on the couch and watch TV and do her freaking knitting all day long. She used to cook these great meals every night for dinner, but I'm lucky if she makes an extra thing of ramen for me when _she_ gets hungry. I don't get it and it's getting annoying." By the time she was finished with her rant we were parked in front of our apartment building. I patted her knee.

"Oh Kimber. I wish you'd said something earlier. You know you're always welcome at my place."

She looked up at me but didn't say anything.

"Really. If all you want to do is come over and sit around with me, feel free."

"Thanks, Bella. Maybe I'll come over tomorrow." She picked up her backpack and opened the door.

"That'd be great. I'll see you then."

"Ok. Um…thanks for listening."

"You're welcome. Bye."

"Bye." Kimber jumped down and trudged up the stairs and I headed to the restaurant. Josh had really had to cut my hours back so much that I may as well not be working. I didn't need the job anymore, it was more to put money in my savings account quickly, and it was nice to have something to do in the summer. Maybe I would quit at the diner and just teach while I was getting ready for the wedding. I arrived a bit early for my shift, so I had a quick smoke before I stepped inside.

Josh and Lynsey were the only people there, leaning against the front counter looking upset.

"Hey, guys. What's up?"

"Hi, Bella."

"Hey, sweetie."

"What's going on?" I came up to where they were standing and Josh wrapped an arm around my waist. He sniffed the air around me and wrinkled his nose but didn't say anything. I knew he didn't like me smoking.

"Gary came in about an hour ago and we had a talk. He says he needs to lay off a few people."

Gary was the owner of the restaurant, a tight-wound Scrooge who wouldn't know quality if it bit him in the butt.

"Oh. Let me guess. Since it's now known that you and I are together…"

"Yeah. I'm really sorry, Bells."

I shrugged. Stupid spineless ass. "I was just thinking about quitting anyway. I don't really need the job, it was just nice to have the extra cash and something to do when I wasn't teaching. I'm pissed that that's the reason, though. Oh no—he didn't lay you off too, did he?"

"Naw. He doesn't want to have to deal with training a new manager."

"Well we wouldn't want to leave lazy out of the long list of descriptions, would we?"

"Bella…c'mon, that's not nice."

"No, but it's the truth."

So this must have been what Alice was talking about earlier.

"And let me guess what else…no two weeks' notice either, right?"

"You could go to job services and file a complaint," Lynsey said. "That's what I'm doing. I have two kids to feed and my other job won't pay for crap. I don't have a choice but to go to job services."

"I could, but I was going to put in my notice today or tomorrow anyway, so it's not really a big deal, I guess."

"Yeah. I s'pose so. By the way, congrats on getting engaged. Oh! Before I forget—" Lynsey held out her hand expectantly to me. "Show it to me."

I put my left hand in hers and she studied the ring. "It's gorgeous. Good job, Josh."

"It was my great-grandmother's."

We three talked for a little while until Gary pulled up. "So what, is he going to be doing shifts now? He never laid a finger around here before."

"Yeah, that's his plan."

"I think I'm going to get going. I have a lot of schoolwork to do." I shrugged back into my coat and pecked Josh a kiss. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. Love you."

"You too. Bye, Lynsey."

"See ya, Bella. I'm going to stay and ream this coward out."

I chuckled as I left out the back door.

Sure enough, when I got home Alice's car was parked in the visitor section. She was standing by my door, scowling.

"You could have let yourself in, you know," I said as I unlocked the door.

"Your neighbor saw me coming up the stairs and has been spying on me ever since. I think she suspects I'm trying to get into your apartment and steal your things."

"Kimber didn't say anything?"

"I don't sense her in there." Alice shook her head.

"Huh." Weird. I let us into my apartment and poured myself a glass of water. Alice was at the coffee table, feet tucked under her as she shifted through the mounds of catalogues and magazines suddenly scattered in front of her.

"What's all this?" I asked as I sat down on the floor opposite Alice.

"Wedding planning stuff. Here, I got you a planner. We really should start thinking of everything. What flowers do you want? Because none of the florists around here are excellent. I mean, they're great for birthdays and valentine's day, but weddings, well, you want the _really_ nice quality, and you have to have them ordered far in advance, and—"

"Alice! Whoa, whoa!" I laughed. "We've got almost a year to plan this thing, take it easy."

"Take it easy? Bella! It's only a year! There's so much to plan!"

"Fine. But I can't afford to order the fancy stuff. Hanson's Floral will be fine. That's who Josh used with my flowers." I'd left them at school, knowing I wouldn't have much time between school and my shift-that-should-have-been. I picked up a bridal magazine and flipped through it. It seemed mostly ads.

"Bella? Ok, just listen to me, don't get mad, all right?"

"What did you do?"

"Don't worry, I asked Carlisle and Esme first, and they said they would love to pay for the wedding, since you even said yourself they're like another set of parents. So don't worry about the cost, all right? Now, what do you think of this dress?"

"Alice! How could you!"

"Don't get mad at me, Bella, please. It's not that any of us don't think you could pay for it on your own, we know you could no problem. It's just something we want to do for you. Because we love you. Let us do this?" Her eyes got huge and she looked like she would cry if she could.

Frustrated as I was, I was a push over for Alice and she knew it. "Fine. Fine, but I want to have a budget. If you insist on paying for it, there needs to be a limit. None of this, 'don't worry about the price' crap. All right?"

"Deal! Now, the dress?" She shoved a catalogue at me.

_Stupid damn vampire. _

* * *

The weeks passed, and soon January turned into February. Alice and I were busy planning the wedding. We had decided on the colors, sage-green and a dark lavender; and the flowers, white lilies and lavender. After that, we agreed on nothing. Alice wanted a big to-do, since I hadn't had the chance with Mike. Although my wedding to Mike hadn't been grand, I still didn't want my wedding to Josh to rival that of the royal family's. More than once Jasper or Esme had had to tamp out the brush fires that started between us.

"Why can't we do bunting for the reception? It's elegant!"

"It's too much for me! You got the white carpet on the aisle, but this is where I draw the line!"

"If I take back the carpet, can I have the bunting?"

"No!"

"Alice, doll. Calm down." A wave of peace would wash out from Jasper and we would settle down long enough to say petulant apologies and take a break from planning. Rose popped in every now and then to give her opinion or chat or laugh at us arguing. I had asked her and Alice to be my bridesmaids. Nicky was going to be the ring bearer. Josh wasn't sure who he was going to ask to be his second groomsman; he wanted me to ask another friend to be a bridesmaid so he wouldn't have to choose between his two best friends along with his brother. I was thinking about asking Kimber.

I was spending most of my free time—now in abundance since I wasn't working at the diner—at the Cullens. Three or four days a week would find me coming home from work, doing schoolwork with Kimber, heading out to the Cullens—sometimes with her, and spending the rest of the evening there planning the wedding or just goofing off. Unfortunately it wasn't as relaxing as it once had been. Alice and Rose were supportive of the wedding, as was Esme. I knew the motives behind their approval—Alice and Esme were happy as long as I were happy, and Rose was glad I wouldn't be throwing away my life to become a vampire. Not that I would anyway, with Nicky. On top of Lone Pine it felt like it was only Edward and I in the world, no one else. Guilt ate at my stomach knowing how I had considered becoming a vampire, however fleeting the idea, without putting Nicky into the equation. I couldn't do that to him. No way in hell.

So while those three were supportive, I was getting mixed impressions on the others. Carlisle wasn't giving me a clear idea on how he felt about the whole thing, but I got the idea that he would have preferred I choose Edward, just because of his loyalty to his son. Jasper had always sort of kept out of things, and this time was no different. Emmett though—my big brother had not chosen my side this time. He kept to himself when I was over, not talking much or joking or being himself. Most of the time he spent with Edward. He had yet to tell me why he was being so solemn, but it was starting to get on my nerves.

Edward…he made himself scarce. I hadn't spoken to him since that day on the lookout, and he hadn't shown himself around the house while I was there. The only hint I got that he was ever at home was his form retreating to the forest whenever we started talking about wedding stuff. Even in school he wasn't himself, and his grades were slipping horribly. He obviously knew the material, I think he just didn't care a bit.

One Sunday in February found me arguing with my mom, who had gone to New York with Phil for Valentine's Day, about the wedding.

Again.

"Bella, honey, you haven't known him very long. Are you sure this is what you want? What if it ends up like what happened with Mike?"

"I'm not being forced to marry Josh this time, Mom." I held the phone in the crook of my neck and filled my iron with water.

"Don't take that tone with me, I told you you had a choice. It was his family that forced you to marry the selfish idiot."

"Look, I know what I'm doing, ok? Why can't you support me on this, Dad does!"

"I haven't even met the man!"

"We invited you over for Christmas, but you went to Phil's family's place." I plugged in the iron and let it heat up while I went to grab my blouse.

"You know it would have been too awkward being in your father's house."

I sighed hard. "Ok. Well…how about you make a trip out here soon?"

"Yeah?"

"Mom, don't sound so surprised. You're always welcome here, you know that."

"I'll ask Phil and call you tomorrow, Bella. I'll get to see my little Nicky again!"

"I know he'll be excited to see you too, Mom."

"All right sweetie, I'll call you tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow. Bye, Mom."

"Bye!"

So easy to turn my mom's tantrums around.

I hung up and scrubbed my hands over my face. I didn't even have Nicky this weekend. I wanted to see him so bad, but it was probably for the best. Monday—Valentine's Day—would have been Gracie's ninth birthday. I would probably be a wreck this whole weekend and he wouldn't have a clue why. I slumped down on the couch and tried to think of her. What we would be doing.

She'd definitely still be into horses. Before everything had happened, Mike and I agreed for her tenth birthday we would get Grace her own horse. Before everything happened we'd been in the process of selling our beautiful Victorian house in town and looking for a place out of town with more room. She would have probably begged me to go horseback riding this weekend, no matter how cold it was out. The events on her birthday was the same every year. I'd come into her room early in the morning (she was always up with the dawn, like me) and give her a tray of waffles with fruit and whipped cream, and we'd share a little box of conversation hearts. Nicky would come in and give his sister a bear hug and we would all have a story before it was time to get up. After school or in the evening she would beg to open her presents before dinner and Mike would give in to her stuck-out bottom lip, like always. He was such a sap for her. After presents and dinner and cake, Grace would get to pick a movie and the kids would end up falling asleep in the living room.

Except the last year. One drastic difference. I broke the camera. I dropped it down the stairs on my way to make Grace's birthday breakfast and the lens cracked. Mike and I got into a fight before the kids got up and were mad at each other all day. We had no pictures of her last birthday. Her last special day.

I stood in the living room a few minutes, staring at the picture of the kids on the shelf. Then I pulled my jacket on, started the truck and headed to the cemetery. The driving paths were cleared of snow but I still had to trudge through the slushy stuff it to Grace's plot. Her headstone was cleared of snow and I traced my fingers over the engraved numbers and letters. GRACE RENEE NEWTON. FEBRUARY 14 2002—JULY 4 2008. BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER, WONDERFUL SISTER. On the back there was a quote from a poem I found years ago: _If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again_. Her headstone was beautiful, a pale pink stone, rounded up top, with her picture above her name.

I stood for a few minutes at her grave when I heard a car pull up. It was Mike's dark blue Lexus. He saw me from across the other graves and nodded, then started making his way through the snow to me.

"Hi."

"Hi." Mike cleared his throat.

"Where's Nicky?"

"With my aunt. She came back up for the weekend."

Mike walked the ring around Grace's grave that I had done minutes prior. He came back to stand next to me.

"Didn't expect you to be here," I broke the silence.

"Why's that?"

"You haven't been here since they put in the headstone."

"Yeah. But I just got an urge to today. Sorry if I'm intruding on something. I can leave…"

"No. Stay. It's fine."

He blew out a visible breath. "I can't believe she would have been nine tomorrow."

"I know. It's surreal. It's like it happened yesterday, but at the same time—"

"An eternity ago, I know." A tear fell down my cheek. More followed. Mike lifted his hand to my eyes and wiped my tears away. I looked at him, surprised.

"Don't cry, Bella. I always hated it when you cried." He pulled a little packet of tissues out of his jacket and handed me some. I dabbed at the tears.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked. He just smiled at me.

"Do you remember her fifth birthday?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember she insisted on everybody wearing glitter?" he laughed. I chuckled along with him.

"The shower looked like the scene of a Disney princess crime for a week."

"And the cake?"

"Oh, yeah, she wanted that edible glitter on it, too." We were laughing hard by that point. When we calmed ourselves I couldn't stop my chin from shivering in the cold.

"You…uh, want to go get a coffee? I'd like to talk with you a bit more." Mike looked apprehensive.

"Um, yeah. Sure. Where at?"

"How about that place inside the bookshop?"

"Ok. I'll meet you there." He nodded and motioned for me to go first through the little path of snow we had made.

Once we were settled at a round table in squishy chairs drinking our coffee, Mike started talking.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About what happened with us…after Grace…was found." To this day he couldn't say she died. Something inside him could not physically say it.

"Oh." My voice became steely and I crossed my arms across my chest.

"Don't get all closed off, Bella. I know you have every right to be pissed at me, but I need you to hear me out right now, ok? Please?" I nodded, grudgingly. "Thank you. Ok. First—I know I was an ass. Of monumental proportions. That's putting it mildly, I know. I apologize."

What? Had the words "I apologize" come out of Mike Newton, the famous lawyer's mouth? _Surely not. _

"I was bitter about what happened to Gracie and I took it out on the nearest target—you. I shouldn't have, and I'm very sorry. I know I ruined a lot for you because of it. It was all out of spite because of her. I don't believe you are a bad mother. I know you did more for our family than I ever did and I never appreciated it until you were gone. Again, I'm sorry." He took a sip of his coffee—regular latte with two sugars, I could still remember what kind he liked after two years—and crossed his arms, leaning against the table toward me. "Second—Nicky is a good kid because of you. Don't doubt it, whatever I've said in the past. If it had been only me raising him, he would be a little shit by now." We both snickered.

"I want you to know, I never…I never blamed you for what happened to Grace. Not really. I know I said it when the trial was going on, and that's where it counted, and for that I am a horrible person. It doesn't matter for anything now, but for what it's worth I never believed you were responsible. She…she knew better than to go in the water."

I winced, knowing what really happened, but said nothing.

"I—I have…" he rummaged around in his briefcase, which he brought around with him more religiously than I carried about my laptop. He pulled some papers out. "I have these. They're the time limits…for visitation for Nicky. I want us to go to a judge to see if they can get changed. I want you to be able to take Nicky whenever you want. I mean, obviously since he doesn't go to school here, it would have to be during the weekends, but if you want him two weekends in a row, I want you to have him. If he has a Friday or a Monday off and you want to take him for an extra day, go for it. And during the summer, too, for more than every other weekend and then that one week. Do you want me to do that?"

"You have to ask?" I was crying again, but this time they were happy tears. Mike pulled more tissues out of his pocket.

"Women. You're always so weepy." Mike never did learn how to handle a crying woman. "And…I thought you should know. Amanda's moving out. She gave me back the engagement ring…well, threw it at me, actually. So, we're not getting married."

"Oh. Ok." Outside I tried to be non-emotional. Inside I was jumping with joy. Nicky wouldn't have an evil step-mother after all!

"And…judging by the look of things, the opposite could be said for you."

"Huh?"

He looked at my left hand and back to my face. I looked at my hand. Oh, right, I had a ring on it. Would you lookit that.

"Yeah. Josh asked me on New Year's."

"I'm surprised Nicky hasn't said anything to me."

"Uh…that's because I hadn't told him yet. I was actually going to next weekend. Don't say anything to him, ok? I want Josh and I to be the ones to tell him. Please?"

"Sure. My lips are sealed."

We chatted for a bit longer, then agreed that Mike would call me once he set up an appointment with the lawyer—on my schedule, this time—and said our good-byes.

I couldn't think of a better present to remember Gracie's birthday.

* * *

The next morning I woke with a determination not to have a break down. It was a school day, and I couldn't afford to miss it. I'd already planned it out to make today an easy day: in my Senior and Junior classes the week before I had assigned a project that would be due Wednesday, today would be a work day for that. For the underclassmen, depending on which period it was, they would either get a free reading day or a movie of the book we had just finished. So it should be a pretty non-thinking day.

At the risk of sounding like Forrest Gump, my mother always said how confident you feel the whole day depends on how you look when you step out the door. So I decided to dress in the ultimate confidence-inducing outfit. I picked a pink silk ruffle-sleeved shirt (hey, it was Valentine's Day, after all) and paired it with a black leather pencil skirt. A little risqué, I know, but Sara Gottlieb, one of the German teachers constantly wore shirts that screamed for her male students to motorboat her, so I figured I could get away with a little leather. Besides, Alice would be thrilled that I wore something I'm sure she never expected me to from the shopping trip to Spokane so long ago. I fastened a jingly leather charm bracelet around my wrist and a leather choker with a funky rhinestone front clasp around my neck. Simple black pumps pulled the look together and I pulled the front part of my hair back with clips. I knew I looked good, I felt confident, and I hadn't even shed a tear so far this morning. So far, so good.

Kimber's jaw dropped open when she opened her door at a quarter to eight.

"Holy…wow," she said on our way downstairs.

"What?" I started the truck and it sputtered. I really needed to get a good car…

"You look hot. I never thought I'd see you wearing anything like that."

"Thank you." We stopped for our usual coffee and made our way to school. As per usual, when I got up to my classroom, Alice was gabbing Kimber's ear off, bouncing excitedly. When she saw me she squealed.

"Oh wow, you look awesome! You finally wore it!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just settle down, ok?"

"What in the world inspired you to wear this?" she perched herself on the edge of my desk as I set up my laptop.

"I needed a boost of confidence today."

"Why?"

I took a deep breath. "Today would be Grace's ninth birthday." My voice only cracked. My throat didn't get a lump lodged in it, I didn't cry. Good. This might be easier than I thought.

"Oh." Her voice was quiet. "What did you do last year?"

"I holed myself up in my apartment and basically went comatose."

"Nice improvement."

"I think so, yes. Will you lift your butt, you're on my papers."

"Sorry!"

The day went by pretty smoothly; I was able to occupy my down time with reading and managed not to think much. The last bell rang and I gave myself a figurative pat on the back. I'd done it. My confidence soared.

"Bella." Edward had stayed behind.

"Oh. Hi. What's up?" What could Mr. Avoidance want?

"I just wanted to make sure you're well. I know what today is."

"Oh. I'm fine. Yeah. Thank you."

He nodded. "You spoke with Mike yesterday. Alice saw it—I was in the room. Couldn't help but overhear. I wanted to ask—to make sure he wasn't unkind toward you."

"Uh, yeah. He wanted to apologize for all the crap that happened after Gracie died. And he's going to see what he can do about getting me unlimited time with Nicky—within reason, of course."

Edward smiled genuinely, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "That's wonderful. I'm very happy for you."

"Thank you." I cleared my throat and shrugged my old jacket on. "So…why are you talking to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Every time I'm at your place you avoid me like the plague. What's with the sudden change of heart?"

"I don't mind speaking to you, I enjoy it. I just don't wish to be around when you're talking about the wedding preparations. I hope you understand."

"I do." We both chuckled awkwardly at the unintended pun.

"Well—my siblings are waiting for me at the car. I should go."

"Yeah. See you."

"Good-bye." Edward left, his coat swishing behind him. I exhaled a long breath of relief. Hoped we were making progress, at least.


	15. Private Time

**Hello darlings! Hey-are you ready to see what Edward does when he has too much free time on his hands? Here's a little taste. Just because I read a steamy fic and felt like getting my smut on. I don't usually like writing much smut because it makes me feel awkward...like I'm trying to write to strangers what my hubby and I do. But don't worry-you'll get your Bella/Edward yummies eventually.**

**Also, don't get confused with the time skip-it skips from Feb 14, last chapter, to mid-April this chapter and next.  
**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own the front-row seats to what I make them do.**

**XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Thirteen and a Half: Private Time**

The sun warmed my face as I lay against the grass. Despite my foul mood I smiled when I heard Alice approaching, reciting the Gettysburg Address in Samoan.

"What are you hiding, Sister?" I asked with my eyes still closed. She sat down next to me and held my hand in hers. I could almost feel her smiling at me.

"Oh, nothing, Edward. You'll find out soon enough, anyway."

I discovered long ago not to pester her about what she tries to hide. That didn't mean it wasn't annoying, but it was less so than trying to wrestle it out of her. So I shrugged and let her examine my fingernails.

"Huh. I never noticed before. You have pretty good cuticles for a man." I wrenched my hand out of hers and glared at her. Alice had an impish little smile on her face.

"What are you going to do about Carlisle?" Alice asked me after a few minutes of silence.

"I don't know. What are you going to do about Emmett?" I countered. She huffed.

_I don't know. Why is he acting like a child?_

"Because he's afraid of losing Bella again. Face it, Alice, she's going to die. If she's marrying the human she will never be one of us and she will die eventually. He's terrified of that. But he doesn't know how to deal with it."

"I guessed as much." She was silent for another minute, sorting out her thoughts.

"No," I growled at one tangent of her thinking.

"I didn't really consider it."

"I deal with him enough as is. I refuse to let that moron foul up the earth for the rest of eternity."

"Jeez, Edward, tell me how you really feel."

I rolled my eyes and sat up to face Alice.

"Carlisle is very angry with you."

"I realize this, thank you pipsqueak."

"Don't shoot the messenger. He wants you to speak with him soon."

"I don't understand him. He's the one who had such an issue with changing me, my humanity, my soul, et cetera, but he wants me to change Bella."

"He worries about you. You've been alone for so long, he just wants to see you happy."

I scrubbed my hands over my face. "I know, I know. I don't understand why he's so angry with me, though. It's her decision and it's set on the cretin."

"He's a decent man, Edward, he's very kind to her."

"You haven't heard his thoughts when he's around her."

_What do you mean?_

"He may not be a teenager anymore but you would think he had just found out he had a penis and the things he can do with it. I have to see everything he's done with Bella, everything he wants to do with her. It's disgusting."

"Are your thoughts any better, Edward?"

I just glared at Alice.

"I love her, Alice."

"And so does he. You haven't felt what Jasper has shared with me. He loves Bella very much."

"Can I just have a while alone, Alice," I asked, suddenly angry. She looked at me sympathetically, then got up and left without another word.

I lay back in the grass and let my thoughts wander. Did Josh love Bella? Yes, I could see it in his thoughts. To be honest, he had less impure imaginings than I ever had. I indulged in remembering our past encounters and creating new ones on a daily basis. And they were much more vivid than Josh's ever could be.

I knew Bella's skin better than he did. Knew every blemish, every flaw. The spots where she was ticklish, the spots where she wasn't. Recognized when she was angry even when she didn't show it by the way her pupils would dilate. The mole on the back of her knee I don't think she knew about. I knew how a whisper in her ear would send goosebumps down her body. I loved how her body had changed. She didn't really have curves, she was still childlike, when we were in Forks. She dressed in blacks and browns, never skirts always jeans. Sensible shoes, hair straight down. I was attracted to her, yes, but her lack of confidence showed through by how she presented herself.

Ten years later…Oh, God, it was all I could do not to take her in the middle of the classroom full of children. Like Valentine's Day, two months ago. With that leather skirt that only came down to mid-thigh, and her heels that begged me to bend her over the desk and… great, now I was hard. I ran my hand over the front of my jeans as I remembered the way her curves had filled out as she grew older. Her breasts fuller, her hips wider, her thighs and calves more toned. Her stomach wasn't flat like it had been, and she must have put on twenty or so pounds. But it suited her well. She didn't look on the verge of emaciation anymore. She looked healthy.

The sound of my zipper pulling down was loud in the quiet of the woods. I snuck my hand under the elastic of my underwear and thought back to when I had visited her last September, after she came to our house for the first time. I had determined not to be hesitant, but doing what I did was never my plan. I remembered the way her soft lips had given way to mine, the warmth of her tongue running along my own. The smell of her arousal, sweet and strong and in pure essence of her had almost set me taking her right as she sat on the table. I was so hard, pressed up against her warm opening, so close. My hand was moving rapidly by now, and remembering her moan as she was so ready for me toppled me over the edge.

I let myself settle down for a minute before wiping my hand on a handkerchief in my pocket, which I threw into the woods. I had to see her. I tucked myself back into my jeans, tugged up the zipper, and took off for her apartment. I could hear arguing coming from her living room as I approached. It was dark, so I perched myself in the tree outside her window and listened.

"You're going to get fired, Bella!"

"For what? Befriending a lonely girl? Her father is dead, her mother and brother are in jail, and her grandmother doesn't give a crap about her! What do you expect me to do?"

"It's not about Kimber. It's about the Cullen family."

"What are you talking about?"

"Alice and Rose are one thing, but with the boys always hanging out around you, people are going to accuse you of being the next Mary Kay Letourneau, Bella. Use your head!"

"What are you insinuating?"

"Nothing," he mumbled. I could hear his thoughts, though, and he knew he was in trouble.

"No, not 'nothing'. What the hell did you mean by that?"

Josh sighed hard. "Edward."

"What about him?" Her heart sped up.

"Please. He's got some sort of adolescent crush on you, you know it. I see the way he looks at you. The way he opens doors for you, follows you around, pulls your chair out. I thought it was funny at first, but I see the way you look at him, too. You like him back."

"You're wrong."

"I'm not."

"You think I'm cheating on you."

"No. I know you wouldn't do that. But the way you two act around each other makes me…I don't know. Wonder."

"You can wonder in your own house."

"Fine." I heard him get his coat on and the door slammed shut. I crawled into the window and saw Bella on her hands and knees, hitting the floor in frustration. I came and knelt beside her.

"Hey. Hey, shh. It's ok, Bella. Stop that, you're going to hurt yourself." I took her wrists into my hands and she turned to me, falling against my chest. Her tears dampened my shirt as I rocked her back and forth. It hurt, not being able to console her. It hurt more that she was crying over the idiot.

I held her, though, for a good half an hour before she looked up at me with red puffy eyes.

"Hi."

"Hi," I whispered back.

Then she knelt up and pressed her lips to mine. It took a moment for the shock to evaporate, then I responded eagerly. She shoved her tongue against my lips and I opened them for her. God, she was warm.

"Please, Edward."

"What?"

"Please make love to me."


	16. Wanting

**Is everyone ready for Bella to get her head out of her butt? I know I am. This chapter Bella sees reason (cue applause). Thank you for my lovely readers. You are all incredibly awesome.**

**S.M owns all. It's funny, whenever I see her initials I think of Sailor Moon.**

**Enjoy! XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter 14: Wanting**

My day had gradually gone from bad to worse. Well, it started Friday evening, really, when Mike called and said he couldn't drop off Nicky Saturday because he had a nasty ear infection. So with my schedule suddenly clear I decided to do some more wedding work. No dice; the Cullens were going hunting in Glacier National Park this weekend but Alice could stay behind if I wanted? No, I told her. I could see how excited she was about having some time with Jasper.

I ended up inviting Kimber over for a movie marathon. So eleven-thirty Friday night found us finishing up Sleepless in Seattle with weepy eyes and bellies bloated with popcorn and ice cream.

"Seattle's a beautiful city," she said.

"Yeah. In its own way. Too wet and cloudy for me, but pretty."

"Ok, what next?" Kimber opened the cupboard on the TV stand and rifted through the DVD's there.

I yawned for the umpteenth time that night. "I think I want to go to bed. I'm exhausted."

"Oh. Ok. I guess I'll see you Monday then?" She looked really upset that our evening was coming to a close. She slowly closet the cabinet door and turned to face me.

"What's up?" I asked. She shrugged. "Things worse?" A nod. "You want to stay here tonight?"

"Can I?"

"Sure. You can sleep in Nicky's bed. Here, I'll change the sheets for you real quick." Kimber followed me to the bedroom and helped me change the sheets. Then she sat on the bed, looking on the verge of tears.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting next to her.

"Gran just told me today. My dad died. He had a heart attack." A tear fell down her cheek.

"Oh, Kimber. How come you didn't tell me earlier?"

She shrugged. "Tried not to care. He left me 'n my mom when I was a kid, you know? I didn't wanna give a shit what happened to him. Does that make me a bad person?" she asked.

I thought about my mom. It wasn't the exact same situation, but she left my dad all the same. Not long after I moved to Forks I realized for the first time just what it did to him. He never got over her. She hurt him too badly. If she had left me behind? I couldn't say I wouldn't feel the same way Kimber did. I told her so, and she looked at me sadly.

"But I feel bad. He was my dad, after all. Even after he left we were best friends. Then he just dropped out of my life and it was like he weren't ever there to begin with." Kimber slumped onto my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her and cuddled her to me.

"I know. I know." We sat like that for a few minutes; I had a vision of doing this same thing with my own daughter and lamented that I wouldn't be able to do it for her one day. Never the same situation, of course, but she would have had bad days. And I wouldn't be able to comfort her on them. So I held on to Kimber with all the love I could give her and she finally stopped sobbing. She leaned up and smiled at me.

"Thanks. Sorry."

I pushed a piece of hair out of her face. "Don't be sorry. I told you; I'm here for you whenever you need me, ok?"

Kimber nodded and smiled wanly at me.

"Can I ask you something?" She nodded. "How did you get that scar?"

She took a deep breath and sighed it out hard. "It was what I got taken from my mom for. She was cooking meth an' I was on the lawn out front an' she an' my brother come running out the house an' next thing I know I'm waking up with ambulance people around me. The house exploded. I got burnt. It hurt like hell but…I got through it. An' when they tested me, I was totally clean. I never had any meth in my life."

"Good. I'm proud of you."

She just smiled at me.

* * *

I had another nightmare that night and spent from three a.m. on wandering the apartment, unable to sleep.

So, because last night had been crap, I didn't expect today to be much better. And it wasn't.

It was a sunny day, and the forecast predicted it to last through Tuesday. That meant that the Cullens would probably be "moving" soon, so I wouldn't see them inside school anymore.

Kimber got up around 8 and zoned out in front of the TV while I made us breakfast. Josh joined us while we were finishing up and the three of us sat around the apartment relaxing and bs-ing until a little before seven, when Kimber went home to get ready for a date with Nelson. I warned her to be good and she just smirked and rolled her eyes at me. I smiled at her snarkiness and sat next to Josh on the couch.

"She sure is a sweet kid," I said as I snuggled into Josh's side. He made a non-committal noise and I looked up at him. "Are you angry with me?"

"No." He wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Why am I not convinced?"

He huffed and flipped to a sports program, ignoring me. I got up and started cleaning up the kitchen. Watching sports was, as I had come to recognize, Josh's way of calming down and sorting out his thoughts when he was upset. Cleaning the kitchen was mine. I was content to shove dishes into the dishwasher and clang around pots in the sink until my irritation had dissipated. What the hell was up with him? Why wasn't he telling me why he was so angry? He hadn't come over angry. It seemed to develop as the hours progressed.

I had the dishwasher running, the pots drying on a towel, and the counters sprayed down with vinegar water by the time Josh came and stood in the doorway.

"Don't step on my clean floor," I warned him coldly. I was mopping my way out of the room and I could sense him behind me.

"I wasn't going to." His voice was as harsh as mine was. It made me angrier. What right did _he_ have to be mad at _me_?

"So you going to tell me what's up or are you just going to lurk behind me all night?"

"I'm worried."

"About?" I straightened up and propped the mop upside down in the doorway while the floor dried.

"Don't get mad, ok? I've been trying to figure out how to put this so you won't get upset. So just…listen to what I have to say." I nodded for him to go ahead. Josh took a deep breath and started talking.

"I'm worried about you and your friendship with Kimber. She's your student."

"And she was my neighbor before that. What does it even matter if she is? She lives across the hall from me."

"It matters because I don't want to see you lose your job, that's why. People are going to suspect something's going on."

Anger coiled itself in my chest like a snake. "What do you mean, 'something'? She's a girl, Josh, a sad and lonely girl. What am I supposed to do, just let her bear it while I watch? I'm not that person."

He should have looked ashamed, but he didn't. He just kept going. "Teachers are not supposed to get involved with their students!"

"No, they're not, as a general rule. But managers aren't supposed to get involved with their employees, either, are they?"

"That's different. She's just some random girl! She's the daughter of a meth-head, and she's only going to go down the same path, no matter how hard you try to help her. Let it go!"

A memory smacked me in the face.

"_Eventually he could very well be institutionalized, Mr. and Mrs. Newton. There's nothing that can be done. I suggest a course of psychiatric care in Pathways*, then we can go from there. Children who suffer severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder often don't recover. They can lead a life of drug abuse, physical violence, and other self-destructive behaviors. These will lead him straight to jail or death. The parents are the key in making sure this doesn't happen, and let's face it…there are the…uh…allegations against the attentiveness in your mothering, Mrs. Newton." _

_I saw red. In one short and coldly-stated memorized verse, he had called me an inattentive mother and said that my son was going to end up in jail or dead because of it; he said all this right in front of him. I took Nicky by the hand and gently tugged him up and placed him behind me. I got in the psychiatrist's face. _

"_Never. Ever. Tell a mother that she doesn't care about her child. What makes you think you have the right to say anything like that?"_

"_Well…Mrs. Newton…I—I have a degree in psy—"_

"_A degree? Well. That makes you a great father, then doesn't it? That makes all the difference in the world. You must be the best parent ever!"_

"_I don't have any children, Mrs. Newton."_

"_No wonder you're stupid enough to suggest a child is going to end up in jail or dead because of their mother, right in front of both of them." I turned around and faced Mike, who had been shocked silent throughout the whole thing. "I want a divorce," I mouthed to him so Nicky wouldn't hear. "Come on, Buddy, we're going. Let's go get some ice cream. By the way," I called as I opened the door. "I have a degree in education. I know more about children than you ever could. They have all the hope in the world, no matter what they've been through." _

I snapped out of the memory with a shake of my head. It was right after Grace died, when Nicky stopped talking. Now, talking with Josh, the same fury from then made my vision darken. The snake in my chest sprung. Over the months I had come to love Kimber; not quite as much as I had loved Grace, but I did love her. And Josh had attacked her. I knew Kimber would die before following her family, and she had the scar on her face to prove it.

I was a bear protecting her cub, just like in that cold psychiatrist's office. I stepped up to Josh and drew up to my full height. The look on his face told me he knew he had crossed a line.

"Kimber doesn't have anyone else to help make sure she doesn't do exactly what you're accusing her of. Who do you think you are, condemning her to a life like that? I've seen what she's struggled through, and if _you_ ever had to face what she's had to push past, you wouldn't make it." My voice was deathly quiet.

"What's up with you?" He asked. He backed away so I wasn't in his space, but I stepped back up to him. Stalking him like my prey.

"I love Kimber like my own. You _will not_ insult her again. Are we understood?"

Josh hung his head. "Yes."

"Good."

He looked like he wanted to say something else.

"Get it out, Joshua. Tell me what else is up with you or this will just be a giant lump in our relationship." I'd never used his full name before. I suddenly knew why Edward used it; he knew I was serious when I used the whole of it.

"Well…it still makes me…nervous."

"What does?" I grouched. He was about three seconds from getting his ass kicked out, going around and around like this.

"You being so close to your students. I mean, what if someone…uh…mistook your…friendliness?"

"I have never been…creepy with Kimber, that's just wrong! I just said, I care for her like a daughter. That's all." Yes, ok, I may have spoke to him condescendingly for that. But he was really pushing the limit.

"You're going to get fired, Bella!"

"For what? Befriending a lonely girl? Her father is dead, her mother and brother are in jail, and her grandmother doesn't give a crap about her! What do you expect me to do?" Could he really _be_ this callous?

"It's not about Kimber. It's about the Cullen family."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, suddenly cautious.

"Alice and Rose are one thing, but with the boys always hanging out around you, people are going to accuse you of being the next Mary Kay Letourneau, Bella. Use your head!"

"What are you insinuating?" More blind fury.

"Nothing," he mumbled. He knew he was in deep shit. Good.

"No, not 'nothing'. What the hell did you mean by that?"

"Edward."

"What about him?" Guilt, anger, indignation.

"Please. He's got some sort of adolescent crush on you, you know it. I see the way he looks at you. The way he opens doors for you, follows you around, pulls your chair out. I thought it was funny at first, but I see the way you look at him, too. You like him back."

"You're wrong." My voice was weak. Yes, we had kissed, but it never went far…it was always stopped…

_You started it at the dance. You didn't even think of Josh then, did you? It was all Edward. _

Yes, but…I wouldn't have let it go on much longer…

_Sure. He has every right not to trust you. _

If he knew about our past, he would understand.

_Bullshit alert! Everyone duck and cover!_

Shut up.

"I'm not."

"You think I'm cheating on you." Sure, Josh had every reason to suspect I had kissed Edward while he and I were together. I was still angry at him from earlier, though. Angry at myself. And it made me act irrationally even if I was thinking otherwise. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and dared him with just a look on my face to accuse me.

"No," he backpedaled. I could see him thinking how he could twist his words around to make it sound like he wasn't implying but was at the same time. "I know you wouldn't do that. But the way you two act around each other makes me…I don't know. Wonder."

I sensed him. He was outside, in the tree again. I had a surge of wanting course through my body. And it wasn't for the man in front of me.

It hit me like a hammer.

_Wrong. This. Is. Wrong._

Being with Josh was wrong. I didn't want him. I had tried so many ways to convince myself that it was what I wanted, what I needed. That he was, but he wasn't. He was just a way for me to deny that I was for Edward. Of course. God, how could I be so stupid?

I had to get Josh out so I could talk to Edward. I took the ring off my finger, and under the guise of anger and indignation at being accused of cheating, put it in Josh's hand.

"You can wonder in your own house."

He stared at the ring for a few seconds in shock. His head fell. "Fine," he said in his quietest voice.

He stomped his way into the hall. I fell onto my knees as a wave of guilt and remorse and shame rolled over me. I stared crying as he put his shoes and coat on. I almost called him back to apologize and recant my decision.

Almost—but I didn't. He slammed the door behind him and I burst out in heaving sobs.

_Oh, God, what did I do? I hurt him so badly. How can I make this right? _

You can't.

I started beating the floor with my fists in anger. Each blow only served to frustrate me more.

I felt cold arms wrap around my shoulders and hands take my wrists to stop me from pounding.

"Hey. Hey, shh. It's ok, Bella. Stop that, you're going to hurt yourself." That smooth voice. It calmed me immediately. Erased the anger. I slumped against his chest and cried. I cried and cried and he rocked me, smoothing his hands over my back.

When I had cried all the tears I could cry, and calmed down to just hiccups, I looked up at him. His eyes were sad, and there was a little crease between his eyebrows out of worry.

I wanted to tell him about my revelation. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that I wanted him, that I had been wrong this whole time. I wanted to let him know that he was the one, he was it for me. I wanted to beg forgiveness for all the hurt I had caused him.

So, like I had been every time it came to Edward, I became flustered and made a total vocabulary idiot of myself.

"Hi."

"Hi," he whispered in response, with just a touch of a small sad smile gracing his mouth.

Then I demonstrated another show of idiocy. I rose so I was face-to-face with him and kissed him. He didn't do anything, just sat there under my lips and I worried that I was too late, that I wasted his patience, that I had done something wrong. I was about to remove myself from him when he tightened his arms around my shoulders and responded with such force it removed me of my sensibility. I forgot that he was a vampire, that he could lose composure and hurt me. He was a man, despite his icy lips and stone chest pressed against my soft one.

I opened my mouth and licked his lips, begging for him to part them for me. After only a moments' hesitation he responded and I thrust my tongue to meet his with a groan. I knew this wouldn't tell him how I felt, or what had come to me. The only way I could think of to let him know was the most vulnerable way.

I took back my tongue and said, against his lips, "Please, Edward…" I couldn't get it out.

"What?" His voice was strained with want.

I felt ridiculous saying it. It was cheesy and cliché and it made me sound like a hussy. But it was the only phrase I could think of in this fog of lust messing with my brain.

"Please make love to me."

He leaned back and looked at me.

"Bella?"

"Don't make me say it again. I already feel like enough of an idiot saying that."

"But what about Josh?"

I held up my left hand. "I gave it back. I realized something."

Edward put his hand on my face. "What was that?" He whispered.

"I love you."

"I already knew that."

"You're the one I want." I murmured it so low I hoped he wouldn't hear it. Stupid vampire hearing.

"Say it again." He nuzzled my neck and placed a wet kiss at my pulse point.

"I want you."

"Not just for sex?"

"Not just for sex."

I shuddered as his breath tickled my ear and I felt him smile against my skin.

"I love you, too." His lips were on mine and he leaned me onto the floor.

He was slipping his hand under my tank top, running circles into my stomach when the phone rang.

"Ignore it," I said.

He reached up to my nipple and tweaked it. The voicemail came up.

"Bella?" Mike's voice was frantic. I was up off the floor in an instant. "Bella! Are you screening your calls? Answer, damn—"

I yanked the phone off the hook. "What's wrong?"

"It's Nicky. You need to meet us at the hospital."

"I'm leaving now." Edward was already up and adjusting his erection under his waistband.

"I'm driving," he said.

_Oh, God, please let him be ok._

* * *

**Ooh, cockblocked.**


	17. A Helluva Hickey

**Yay! My son learned the phrase "apple juice"! I'm so proud! Anyway, thank you for the reviews. God, I love the reviews.**

**Warning for this chapter: Lemony goodness ahead. It's my first full-fledged smut chapter, so please take it easy on me. *cowers in a corner***

**Also, please read the bottom for something very special!  
**

**As always, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all that goes with it. I own a new Batman wallet. Happy!**

**Enjoy! XOXO-Ka  
**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter 15: A Helluva Hickey**

"Nicky, if you play that skit _one more time_…" My threat was empty. He was watching a Sesame Street DVD Mike bought for him after the accident. Yes, hearing the "Peanut Butter Song" for the three hundred millionth time was annoying, but after the scare last weekend I was willing to spoil him. He was laying on the couch with his right leg up on a pillow, left foot on the floor; one hand holding the DVD player remote, the other in a bowl of popcorn resting on his tummy.

Except for the broken leg, I envied him. Wish I could relax and stare vapidly at the TV. At the moment I was chopping vegetables for dinner, still thinking about Saturday. It scared me to think how close I could have been to losing my other baby...

_I won't cry. I won't break down until I know what is going on. Holding in the tears is the most difficult thing I think I could ever do. _

"_Seat belt," is all Edward says to me when we get into the car. As he drives he pulls his cell phone out of his pocket. "Carlisle. You need to get out of the hospital…Because Mike is coming there with Nicky and no doubt he will recognize you…I don't know, fake sick or something, but do it quick, the ambulance will be there any minute." With that, Edward snaps his phone shut and keeps driving. "I can't come in there with you."_

"_I know," I mutter. I don't care at this point whether he comes in or not, I just want to get to my son. _

"_I'll wait in the parking lot for when you need me, all right?"_

"_It's probably going to be a while."_

"_I know. I'll wait for you."_

_I look at him, tamping down the noise of fear trying to escape my throat. _

_Edward swings into the lot and finds a place close to the entrance. He takes my chin in his hand and makes me look at him._

"_Whatever happens, I'm here for you. I'm not leaving you again."_

_I lean forward and peck him on the lips, then I fly out of the car. I beat the ambulance by ten minutes, since they live 45 minutes out into the boonies. I sit in the hard plastic seat, tapping my foot as I wait. The receptionist keep clearing her throat in irritation and it occurs to me to stop, but the thought is fleeting. Isn't it her job to be understanding? Later I'll realize I just felt like annoying her because it was a way to vent my anxiety. _

_Finally they bring Nicky in on a stretcher. Oh God, he has a brace around his neck, but at least he's conscious; his face is tear-stained but the remnants of a smile still linger around his mouth. He doesn't see me; I'm standing against the opposite wall to the door. Mike sees me as soon as he walks in, though. He recognizes that I am on the verge of a breakdown and comes up to me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. I turn into his embrace and let myself sob. _

"_Oh, God. What happened?"_

"_Shh…Bella, it's ok. He's going to be just fine. It's all my fault."_

"_What?" I lean back and look at him, confused. _

_Mike lets me go but keeps an arm around my shoulder as we follow the stretcher to a room. We stand outside the door while the ER staff starts checking Nicky over. _

"_There's this tree outside the house with a fort inside of it. I built it for him last year. I don't know how , but I didn't secure one of the floorboards right. It broke under him and he fell down. They say he should be fine, though. He landed on his back, and that's why he has a neck brace on. They're pretty sure he has a broken leg, but they think he's going to be ok. He was laughing in the ambulance, so that's good."_

"_How high was the treehouse?"_

"_Maybe ten, twelve feet off the ground."_

"_That's not too bad of a fall," I say, slightly relaxing. "How did he break his leg if he fell on his back?"_

"_There's a rock under the tree, his leg landed on that."_

"_Oh, jeez."_

"_I'm so sorry, Bella. It's all my fault."_

"_Why was he even outside if he has an ear infection?" That's why he couldn't come over this weekend. I hope Mike isn't starting to lie to me again. _

"_He was bugging me yesterday about playing in it but I didn't let him because he wasn't feeling better. This morning I said maybe and he got mad at me about it. I went upstairs to do something and next thing I know he's screaming bloody murder on the ground outside. I'm so sorry."_

"_Stop apologizing. It's not your fault."_

"_I'm the one who built the treehouse."_

"_Please," I say with sarcasm. "I've seen your woodwork before. You're great at it, and you wouldn't have made that if you didn't know what you were doing. It was a mistake, that's all. You aren't to blame."_

_He just nods, unconvinced, and waits with me until we're beckoned into the room... _

Nicky was fine: no back injuries except a little bruising, no concussion—we were lucky on that. The worst of it was a fracture in his right leg. He was out of school that Monday and Tuesday, but Wednesday he was back with crutches. I was proud of Mike; he really stepped up to the plate. He took Nicky to school each day, got him settled in, and helped him to the car from class at three. He even tried to make Nicky lunch one day but couldn't put a meal together to save his life and just ended up giving Nicky money for lunch as usual.

Mike had a lot of work this weekend and had a lot of driving around he needed to do. Usually he would bring Nicky—Mike's clients loved him—but he worried about getting Nicky in and out of the car so many times, so I helped him struggle up the stairs and plopped him down on the sofa, remote controls within his reach and basically let him veg out. I gave him his food at the couch and let him sleep there. I know, I know. You're not really supposed to do that. But every time I looked at that leg in the cast I went into Pushover Mode.

However, thirteen times playing the same song on the DVD is where I draw the line.

Nicky let it go to the next part and I continued making dinner.

* * *

Nicky was tucked in bed and I had just slipped into my most comfortable pajamas when an urgent knock came at the door. Who would be calling at ten-thirty at night? That person wore a straw cowboy hat, dirty faded jeans, and a very pissed-off gleam in his eye.

"J-Josh. Uh…hi."

"Hey." His eyes were focused somewhere to the left of my head and his hands were in his pockets.

"Would you like to come in?"

He walked past me and into the hallway, where he just stood for a minute.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Why didn't you call me about Nicky?"

"W-What?"

"You didn't call to tell me that Nicky was in the hospital, Bella! Why the hell didn't you?"

"I didn't think about it…he's fine, he's not hurt real badly. He just broke his leg. I…didn't think you would want to come."

He beat his fists against his thighs to try to calm down. "Just because things…ended…which I also want to talk with you about…doesn't mean I don't care about you and Nicky anymore. Fuck, Bella, I love him. I liked knowing that I was going to be his step-dad. I still care about him; that hasn't changed since you threw the ring at me." Josh's voice was on the rise and he was quickly becoming angry. Not that I could blame him.

"Who told you in the first place?"

"Edward called me."

I was shocked. Edward didn't tell me that. Oh he was in for a world of hurt; he could have at least warned me!

"I'm sorry, Josh. I am. I…I didn't think you would want to hear from me."

"I still love him like my own kid. No matter how hurt I am I want to know if he's in the hospital or something."

I nodded. "I'm sorry. But he really is fine. He just fractured his leg."

"That's good." We stood awkwardly in the short hallway.

"Um…would you like something to drink?"

"I'm fine."

I got myself a can of soda from the fridge and came back into the living room, where Josh had seated himself on the couch. It was too intimate to even consider sitting next to him so I leaned against the computer desk.

"Spit it out," I said after a too-long silence.

"I'd like to work out what happened." I sighed and looked down, my feet quickly becoming fascinating. Josh's whole demeanor had changed by then. He looked slightly defeated. He had relaxed and started breathing better. He got up from the couch and stepped up to me and lifted my chin with his fingers.

"Is there any way we can work this out?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so, Josh."

"Why not?"

A traitor tear slipped down my cheek. "I can't tell you." He swiped his thumb across my skin to catch the tear.

"You can tell me anything, Bella. I don't care what it is."

I shook my head. More tears fell.

"Please? Look…I'm not accusing you of anything, ok? But if you did something wrong, I need you to tell me. I can't keep wondering like this. I haven't slept all week. Don't you think I at least deserve that, Bella?"

His eyes. Oh, God, they hurt me just to look in them. I took a deep breath and pulled Josh's hand off my face. I stepped away from him and paced the living room. Where should I start?

"Ok. Um…I love you, Josh. I do. And I haven't been with anyone since you proposed to me. I promise."

"Does that mean you were with someone while we were dating?" His voice was dangerously calm.

"Yes," I sighed. "Yes. We never had sex. But there was kissing. And a couple of nights he slept over. And I was—am—in love with him. I told him it was over after you proposed, and he's still been trying to get me to change my mind, but I knew I could never hurt you like that so I pushed him away every time, I swear. Physically, I've been faithful to you. But I never should have accepted your ring when I was still in love with someone else. I'm so sorry, Josh. I—sorry isn't enough, I know. I hate myself for hurting you." I stood still finally and looked at the man who, a week ago, had been my fiancé. He looked like he had aged just with the past minute.

Josh took a deep breath. He looked straight into my eyes. "Who did you love more? Me or him?"

I wished I could lie, but it was one I knew I couldn't' get away with. Sure, it would spare his feelings now. But he would find the truth, eventually, when I chose Edward over him. I knew it would always be Edward, no matter who else I loved. "Him," I whispered.

A nod from Josh. A harsh sigh. A long, long pause. "Who is it?"

"I can't tell you that, Josh."

"I'm not going to rat you out or judge you or incriminate you. I just need to know if it's someone I've been wrongfully putting my trust in."

I knew he knew who it was. It didn't matter, though. He needed to hear it. "Edward."

He nodded again. "I thought so."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"I know."

"I just…"

"I know, Bella. I know. Can I ask you one thing, though?"

"What?"

"Why am I not enough? What does some damn High School kid have that I don't have? Is it the youth? The—the—forbiddeness? I hate to even think it about you, but is it the money? I can't understand _why_." His eyes were starting to water. I wanted nothing more than to comfort him, take it all back, tell him I would be with him if it would make it all better.

But I couldn't.

He would never trust me again.

It wouldn't be fair to him.

I would betray Edward far worse.

I would betray _myself_ far worse.

"I can't explain it, Josh. I just…can't _be_ without him. I tried and it hurt like a part of me had died. I couldn't help it."

He strode up to me and pressed his forehead against mine, his hands cupping my neck.

"Why can't you feel that way for me?"

Even though I knew it was a rhetorical question, I answered, "Because I'm not meant for you. God made me from someone else. There's someone else out there for you, too."

"I don't think so." He kissed my lips gently and pulled back. He closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head; when he opened his eyes back up there a was a mask over them. I knew we were done with the subject and it was time for him to leave. At the door, he turned around and looked toward Nicky's bedroom. "Can I still see him? He's the closest thing to a son I have and I love him."

"Definitely. I'll have him call you tomorrow, all right?"

"Ok. And tell Edward if he ever hurts you I'm still here, ready to beat him up."

I chuckled. "I will."

After he was gone I went to the patio and snuck a cigarette and thought. I hadn't expected Josh to be so civil about everything. I hadn't even expected him to turn up at my door. Oh yeah, that reminded me. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Edward's number.

"Hello," he said in his velvet voice.

"I will punch you, I swear."

"What did I do?"

"Don't you try any of that fake innocence on me, Cullen." I took a drag and blew it out noisily. "I know you called Josh."

"Why is that wrong? I only wanted him to know about Nicky. He feels like a dad to him, and it was his right to know, I felt. Why, what happened? And are you smoking?"

"Yes, I am. Deal with it. Josh came here, angry because I didn't tell him about Nicky, and he asked if there was any chance we could fix things and I told him everything."

"Everything? Even—"

"I'm not an idiot, Edward! I didn't tell him about your family, jeez. But I told him about the instances between you and me when he and I were together and that sort of thing."

"How did he take it?"

"Fairly well, I was surprised. He didn't understand but he wasn't angry…at least he didn't show it."

"I'm happy you got the chance to get everything off your chest."

"Me too."

We were silent for a moment, each of us lost in thought. I came back inside and laid down in my bed, snuggled under the mounds of quilts. I knew I would start sweating soon so I tugged my shirt off and shoved the pants somewhere down in the nether regions of the blankets.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too, Edward. Where are you?"

"At home, sitting at my piano."

"Play me something?" I yawned. I looked at the clock; it was well past midnight.

"Over the phone?" His voice was slightly incredulous. Snob.

"Yes, over the phone." I heard the thunk of him laying his cell on the piano, the shift when he turned it to speaker. He played my lullaby for me and I fell asleep easily, peaceful for the first time in a long time.

I awoke to a silky coldness trailing up and down my spine. I lifted my head from the pillow, confused. Edward lay next to me, running his fingers over my skin. It made my flesh tingle and goosebumps skittered across my body. He smiled at me.

"I love when it does that," he whispered, his eyes raking over me. Then I remembered I was pretty much naked.

And so was he.

"Edward, where are your clothes?"

"On the floor."

"Why?"

"I figured it was only fair. You have on nothing but your panties…" he tapped his fingers along the bottom of my panties, near the thigh. "…so I figured I should have on nothing but my shorts."

My heart sputtered. He smiled a cocky smirk.

_Stupid damn vampire._

Two could play at this.

I turned from my belly onto my back and awkwardly tugged my panties down and they were lost, wadded with the pj bottoms.

The smirk was replaced with an animalistic look I'd never seen on him before. It thrilled me a bit, but it was exciting not fearful. Edward took his hand and caressed from my knee up to my hip. I squirmed under his touch. He made the circuit a few times and then switched to the other leg, not touching me where I needed him to but coming too close each time.

"Edward…"

This predatory smile swept over his face and a hot surge of need pitted itself in my stomach. Edward inhaled deeply and it was like something in him just snapped. He grabbed my hips with both hands and crushed his lips to mine, shoving his tongue in.

"You smell so good."

What happened next is hard to explain. I'm not a pushover—except to my kids—but I knew when it came to Edward I was more passive than to anyone else, I bent easily to what he wanted. But when he was lying on top of me, gripping me so hard that it stung wonderfully, his tongue invading my mouth, I wasn't submissive anymore. I gripped his shoulders as hard as I could and matched his tongue movements with my own. He groaned and pushed my hips down onto the bed harder.

I wasn't having it. I bit his tongue, and I knew it wouldn't hurt but the moment of shock gave me a split second advantage that I used to flip Edward onto his back. The look of surprise changed to pleasure as I ground into him. His eyes closed and he moaned as I did. I leant forward and licked from his collar bone up his neck and sucked on his earlobe. When I blew cool air on the wet trail I left along his throat he lost it and rolled me back over, where he leant against me, his shorts suddenly gone. My heart spiked again as I felt him against my entrance.

"You all right?" he muttered.

I nodded.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Please."

A wicked smile danced across his lips, all concern gone. He rubbed himself against me and my back arched of its own volition. He flicked his tongue against my nipple. I cried out and grabbed his hair with my hands; he reached up and took both of my wrists in his hand and held them there above my head. I knew it was useless but I tried to wriggle free anyway.

"Don't try it, Bella."

And he pushed into me.

And it was only _then_, of course, being me, that I realized just how _big_ he was.

And it _hurt_.

"Fuck," I squealed.

"I'm sorry. Are you all right?" He started to pull out but I stopped him with a look.

"I'll be all right. Just give me a minute." Once I felt more accustomed to his size I nodded and he pulled back, then pushed into me. It was cold and hot at the same time and he reached farther into me than I ever thought anyone could go. He did it again and I moaned because he was going so painfully slow.

"Faster," I begged.

He obliged and my hips rose to meet his thrusts. His mouth captured my own again and the movements his tongue was making matched the thrusts that assailed me. He took the hand that wasn't holding my wrists hostage and ran his thumb across my right nipple.

"Oh, God."

He started thrusting faster and harder, and I was panting and there was this fire building in my stomach despite the coldness. Edward pressed his thumb into my other nipple and twisted his finger lightly so that I felt a slight twinge. My gasp was muffled when he nipped at my lip. That was all it took. I came on the spot, crying into his mouth.

His thrusting came more frantically and wildly and I knew he was close. He lowered his mouth to the joint in my neck and shoulder and sucked the skin there.

Hard. I mean, really hard. It hurt but it felt so deliciously good that it made me come again, and as I spasmed around him, he came into me, sucking harder, groaning, jerking against me.

He let my neck go and rolled onto his back, taking me with me. I rested my chin on my hands, folded on his chest, and smiled at him.

"Well that was overdue," he said.

I laughed. "No shit."

He smiled and looked at my neck. His hand rose and he brushed it against the tender skin and came away red.

"Did you bite me?" I asked in shock. Shouldn't I be in pain now? It took less time when I was in that ballet studio for me to be in agony.

"No, no." He shot me a cocky smile and stuck his fingers into his mouth. His eyes darkened with a touch of red.

"But I gave you one hell of a hickey."

* * *

**Hey everyone! Hope y'all are enjoying the last bit of Right Vs. Good. **

**Ok, I always loved it when an author would have an interview of the characters. So my very good friend did one up for me! Thank you so much PJ, for doing this for me. You rock! **

**Enjoy, everyone! I tried to write these as objectively as possible :P **

**XOXO**

**Q:**

Kimber: What do you think of Bella treating you like another daughter?

**A:**

_I love it. I finally have a mom I can count on. Just anyone I can count on is amazing. _

**Q:**

Mike: What the hell were you thinking when you spewed those vicious lies about Bella being an unfit mother?

**A: **

*Looks to the floor in shame* _Well, I guess…I wasn't thinking. Things with me and Bella hadn't been good for a few years. I was angry. I lashed out at her, since she was the easiest target. I know now that I had no right to take it out on her. I'm very sorry I did._

**Q: **

Edward: What made you think that you even stood a chance at regaining Bella's affections?

**A: **

_I didn't. _*Chuckles nervously* _But if you had found the love of your life, if you had a second chance to win her heart, wouldn't you try, no matter how bleak the chances?_

**Q:**

Josh: What made you think that Edward was the one whom Bella was talking about when she said that she loved another?

**A:**

_I saw the way they looked at each other. All the time. It was clear she felt something toward him, even if she didn't admit it. She tried to deny it, but…I knew it was him._

**Q:**

Nicky: What was it about the Cullens that made you feel secure enough to connect with them?

**A:**

*Mumbles*

**Q:**

What was that, sweetie?

**A:**

_I don't know. They play with me an' stuff. Rose plays with me. An' Emmett makes me laugh._

**Q:**

Esme: What do you think of Nicky?

**A:**

_Oh, he's so sweet. And intelligent! Very shy, yes, but he reminds me of the children I used to teach when I was human. He's so…happy, despite the things he's seen. I love him dearly. _

**Q:**

Rose: Does Bella having a child change your outlook towards her?

**A:**

_No. Any woman can have a child. The fact that she's such a good mother makes me…think differently of her. I guess I respect her more. I think she's an idiot for willing to be with Edward again. But that's for a different reason. _*Shrugs* _She's a good mom. I'm proud of her for that. _

**Q:**

Jasper: What does Nicky feel around Edward?

**A:**

_He feels friendship, mostly. Happiness. Trust. He feels very at ease with Edward, more so than ever with Josh. _

**Q: **

Alice: Can you see what Nicky's future holds?

**A:**

*Smiles coyly* _Well that would give away the ending, wouldn't it?_

**Q:**

Carlisle: Has there been a discernable difference in Edward after this last chapter?

**A:**

*Smiles contentedly* _It's like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. He is easier to get to laugh, to lighten up. Why? What happened?_

**Q: **

Emmett: How the hell did you do it? I mean how did you know what to do to bring Nicky out of his shell?

**A:**

*Winks* _Kids are easy, man. You just laugh with 'em. Make sure they're comfortable above everything else. And make 'em feel safe. I've always made people feel safe anyway. Plus Nicky's a good kid. He's easy to get along with. _

**Q:**

Bella: What do you want from Edward & the Cullens now?

**A:**

*Looks to her lap and speaks softly* _I just don't want them to leave again. I'm so happy now that everyone is back in my life. I'm terrified they're going to disappear in the middle of the night. _


	18. Decisions to be Made

**Yay! Reviews! I loves them! Hey everyone.  
**

**At the end of the last chapter, I will put in a snippet of the first chapter of my next story. This one took me almost a year to complete because of writer's block, and I kept you all waiting-sorry!-so I'm going to take up to six months to complete my next one. Please keep me on your fave author list if you like my work, so you can read it!**

**A bit about this chapter: Bella and her kids and Edward are still in Montana. There's been a time lapse-eight years ahead. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, except my plans with PJ to go to Forks this summer! YAY!**

**Enjoy! XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Sixteen: Decisions to be Made**

"Kimber, Nick, come help me get this set up."

"Just a second, Mom. Nick, get your freaking backpack off my floor!"

"Get your stupid cat off my backpack!"

"Why is it even in my room?"

"I don't know, why's your shirt in my closet?"

"God, you are such a pain!"

"Whatever."

I rolled my eyes and tucked a graying strand of hair behind my ear. The warm, late summer breeze from the open glass door rustled the last of Kimber's school papers on the coffee table and blew them around the living room. I took them and stacked them back onto the table, which was really an old trunk that Carlisle had lying around for years. I secured the papers with Kimber's glass of water and started putting food onto the table out on the deck.

A couple minutes later, Kimber carried the potato salad out, her ponytail bouncing behind her.

"When are they going to be back?" she asked.

"In a few minutes," I replied. "Is Brett coming?"

Kimber sighed hard. "I don't think so. He's freaking out again." She shrugged.

"Commitment issues?"

"Yeah. I ask if he wants to move in with me next month and he freaks out…So he's going through another meltdown and not calling me back or nothing. I'm getting tired of it."

Nick came out onto the deck and waved the platter of meat and cheese rolls in front of Kimber's face.

"Ugh, get that away from me."

Nick just laughed and set them onto the table. His phone rang, and I recognized the tone set for his dad. He went inside to answer it.

I started to poke the shrimp and pineapple and bell peppers onto the kebob skewers and thought. Kimber was just graduating college, she was starting her nursing at the hospital in three weeks. Personally, I didn't think she should try and make Brett stick to anything he wasn't comfortable with, because I knew it would only hurt her in the end. They'd been together since her Sophomore year at college. She dated a few guys in high school, but only had one boyfriend, when she was a Senior, and they broke up after graduation. I wanted to tell her not to waste her time on Brett, who—although a nice guy—was always a little flaky and skittish when it came to any kind of permanence.

Kimber came up beside me and started poking veggies on the skewers with me. "Besides…I don't love him. We've been together two and a half years and he's nice and everything but I don't love him. I need to focus on my career now anyway."

_Good girl_.

I couldn't believe she was graduating and moving out soon. I was so proud of her. She had been through so much in her life. A couple of months after her father died her grandmother pretty much became a part of the furniture and Kimber spent all of her time at my apartment. Her grandmother died when Kimber was 16, and I went through the process of becoming a foster parent so Kimber could live with me. There was a time when she felt like she was a burden to me and wanted to quit school and support herself. I tried telling her that I loved her, she was family, she wasn't a burden, she was throwing away her future, but it was in vain. What kept her from leaving in the end wasn't me, it was Nicky throwing a full-on screaming crying tantrum, terrified at the thought of his new big sister leaving him, too.

That day ended with the three of us in a crying hugging mess on the floor, and Kimber promising not to leave the family.

I wanted to adopt her, but it was pretty much a moot point. She was seventeen, graduating high school that year, and already calling me "Mom". But she did change her name to Swan the day she turned eighteen. To us, the paperwork wasn't important. We were a family. She and Nick even fought like brother and sister. He would tease her about being vegetarian, she would tease him about a girl next door to our house that he liked. No matter what, though, the end of the day they would find them doing homework together, or going for a walk, or just playing video games. I knew Kimber was glad to have a brother she could count on and he was thankful he had a sister he could still hug.

Of course, now he was fourteen. He was too old to hug. At least when he thought I was looking.

I looked at Kimber. She'd been through more things than most people. All of twenty-two, survived through a drug-addicted family, a negligent grandmother, a disfiguring scar. She struggled her way through high school, then college, all with the same job, and now here she was in front of me. Strong, self-reliant, and confident. My daughter. I couldn't love her more if I'd given birth to her. She was tall, very tall for a woman, standing at 5' 9" or so. She was no longer sickly-thin, but she was still skinny. She used to hate it because she was very flat-chested, but as she grew into womanhood and reached her twenties, her breasts grew slightly and her hips widened to a swagger-worthy stance. Now, if anything, she was a bit conceited about how she looked. She accepted her scar long ago and came to embrace it as visible verification of her strength. I couldn't be prouder of her.

I smiled at Kimber and said, "I think that's a good idea."

She nodded and fell quiet. A few minutes later I heard a car pull up and then Charlie came through the back door, arms loaded with drinks. Billy followed him, holding plastic plates and cutlery in his lap.

"Where do you want these, Bells?"

"There's a case over there with ice in it, Dad. Billy, those can go on the picnic table. Thanks so much for grabbing that stuff. Where's Jake?"

"He's helping Mel to bed. She's got a migraine so she's going to try laying down for a while, "Billy said.

"Hmm." I furrowed my brow. Mel was on her third pregnancy and it was the worst one yet; just one of the discomforts she had was frequent migraines. They'd been here three days and this was her second one. "I hope she feels better soon."

"She should. Just needs some rest. Plus it's hotter here than over there."

"Yeah. Maybe she needs to drink more water?"

"I'll tell Jake."

"Tell me what?" Jake walked through the door with bags of decorations. He set them on the table and started rooting through them.

"Mel needs to drink more water. That might be why she's getting more migraines."

Jake nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. I'll make sure she does." He started hanging lanterns between the tree boughs hanging over the deck.

"Bells, when was the last time you mowed your lawn?" Charlie asked.

"Mmm…about a month ago?"

"It's starting to get long. Want me to cut it for you while I'm here?"

I dropped a bamboo skewer in surprise and it fell through the cracks in the deck. "Um…I have someone coming tomorrow to do it. Thanks, though, Dad." Emmett and Jasper liked to split the lawn in half and see who could do their half faster. Seeing as they were coming tomorrow, I made sure to have plenty for them to do.

Charlie clapped me on the shoulder and took a swig of his beer. "Sure thing, Bells." He looked over the railing of the raised deck into the backyard that blended into the woods. "You sure got a nice place here, sweetie."

I smiled at him in thanks. I'd lived there three years, and it was the first time Charlie had been to my house. My house. I loved my house. Two stories, built on a hill, with a wraparound porch that ended in a huge deck over the steep backyard. The yard evened out about thirty yards before the first trees of the woods. Technically, only the first ten yards was my property, but there was nothing to block us, so we used it. There was a fire pit dug into the ground with logs set around it for seats. Willy and Maggie, Jake and Mel's kids, were screaming and running around down there. Inside there was a huge kitchen with granite counters, no real dining room but the kitchen kind of blended into a space for a table. Three bedrooms, plus a semi-finished basement with a couple of makeshift guest rooms. My room faced East, so I could lay with Edward in bed and watch the sun rise with him.

Of course, that usually just lead to better uses for the bed.

Dad and I were chatting about the house when Nick came out and grabbed a handful of chips from a bowl. I immediately knew he was up to no good.

"Hey. What'd your dad have to say?"

"He's going to be here in about an hour."

"Are Dylan and Evan coming?"

"They'll be here soon." Nick pulled something from behind his back and lobbed it over the deck before I could say, "Don't you dare."

"Nicholas Newton!"

He and Charlie were doubled over with laughter. Willy was sopping wet, looking around for the culprit. He looked up at the deck and his eyes narrowed. He started running up the stairs and Nick beat it inside. I caught Willy by the shirt as he passed me.

"Oh no you don't, Drippy. You dry off before you go chasing Nick through the house."

"I'm not gonna hurt him!"

I bent to his ear and whispered, "Get him back, be my guest, but you're not going into my house soaked."

"Got any more water balloons?"

"Under his dresser in a shoebox," Kimber said. I gave her a look. "What? I was looking for Tally. She likes to hide under things."

"Go play with your sister. I'll let you know when the coast is clear," Charlie told the little boy, and he went back down to the lawn.

Two hours later, the sun was setting behind the house and slightly to the left. Nick and his friends, twins in his graduating class, were getting a fire started in the pit. Charlie had steaks grilling in the barbeque. Kimber was reclining in a lawn chair with a couple of her girlfriends, laughing over martinis. Jake and Mel were talking with Mike and his new girlfriend. Me? I was leaning against the sliding glass door, taking it all in. It was all slightly surreal. Kimber was graduating college tomorrow. Nick was turning fifteen next month. Mel was having her third baby next month, also. My dad was here, balding and old, with a few less teeth and a bit more gut. Billy came, too, in his new power wheelchair, saved from the junkyard, gutted and re-wired by Jake, the mechanic extraordinaire. My family.

Who I may possibly be giving up soon. Depending on how tonight's discussion went.

I pushed that thought to the back of my head. Now wasn't the time to think about that.

XOXO

Everyone was sitting on the deck or around the fire, eating. I stepped up next to the picnic table.

"Excuse me! Everyone, can I have your attention, please?" Conversation ceased among my friends and family; everyone turned their faces to me. "Thanks for coming out to this party for Kimber's graduation. Whether it was 45 minutes—" I gestured with a grin to Mike and his girlfriend, Chareese, a local radio hostess. "—or eight hours—" I waved my hand to my father, Billy, Jake and Mel, their kids—my uncle, brother, sister, nephew and niece. "—thank you so much for coming. I remember the first day I met Kimber. I gave her a ride to school that morning, and you wouldn't know it looking at her now, but she was the shyest, quietest person I'd ever met. When I dropped her off at school she looked so small and scared I was worried she would be eaten alive." I chuckled and so did the gathering. I looked at Kimber and she was smiling at me.

"As I got to know her, though, I saw a young woman who had gone through so much, and was so courageous. She blew me away. Over just the first couple of months I got to know her, I came to love her like a daughter." Great. My voice was cracking with effort of holding back tears. "She _is_ my daughter. And I couldn't be prouder of her than at this particular moment. She's struggled her way through a hard life, and she's persevered throughout lows and sailed through her highs in joy. And now here she is." My eyes were filling with tears. I looked over to Kimber and her own tears were falling. I held my hand up to her and she pushed up off her seat and came to me and I hugged her tight to me.

"I love you, Mom."

"Love you too, baby."

Everyone clapped and whooped and I brushed Kimber's tears away from her face.

"Nick, will you bring it out, please?" Nick ran into the kitchen, then back out with a cake shaped like a big K. The frosting was hot pink and purple tiger striped (Thank you, Chareese) and there was a black velvet box resting on top of it.

"What's this?" Kimber asked.

"Open it up," I told her with a smile.

Kimber picked up the box and opened it up. Her green eyes grew huge and she screamed. "No way!" She looked up at me from the key and I beamed at her. "No way! No freaking way!" She tossed the box onto the ground and ran to the edge of the deck where the ground was only a couple of feet below, jumped over the rail and ran up to the side of the house, where the driveway was.

She screamed ecstatically even louder and we could hear a horn honking frantically. Everyone rushed out to the front, either by jumping the deck as Kimber had or going through the house. I lead the group, first to go out the door and to the side of the house to see Kimber in her new Focus. Yeah, it was a few years old, but it was the best I could do for her. Jake contributed by building the engine himself. So it basically ran like new.

"Oh my God, Mom!" She jumped out of her new shiny pink—yes, dear God, it was pink—car and threw herself at me in a hug. "Thank you so, so much."

I laughed, happy to see her so excited.

This had to be the best feeling in the world.

**XOXO**

The party had completely dispersed by eleven and we had decided to the major clean-up the next day. We were all in too good of a mood to worry about cleaning. Kimber had taken Nick for a quick spin around the block in her new car. I took a quick shower and when I entered my bedroom the first thing I saw was Edward lying on my bed.

"Hey," I greeted him.

"Hi, beautiful. How did it go?" he asked with a touch of sadness. He had been so disappointed he couldn't go to the party tonight, the whole Cullen family had, really. I shed my robe and crawled next to Edward; I crossed my leg over his own and rested my head on his shoulder. His arm came to wrap around me. I kissed his mouth gently.

"It was all right. She loved the car."

He smiled. "I figured she would. Especially since you got it painted pink."

I smiled and snuggled into him. "I'm glad you're home. I missed you this week."

"Me, too."

These past eight years had been…stressful when it came to Edward. The end of that school year, the Cullens "moved" to another town. Everyone kind of split up for a while. I felt guilty about it, but they assured me it was time for a few years to their own devices as couples. Edward stayed with me for the whole of the eight years, and for that I was so grateful. We told Nick and Kimber about what the Cullens were a few years ago. Nick was like me—he kind of took it in stride and it didn't' matter to him. Kimber was kind of freaked out, though. She wouldn't talk to them, be around them if she could help it. She came around eventually, though. I think the biggest part was her humiliation at realizing that Jasper could read her emotions—namely a crush she'd had since she first laid eyes on him.

Other than those two, Edward's presence was a secret. It caused us a few fights. I didn't want him to feel obligated to stay with me if he wanted to go with his family. He told me in a roundabout way that I was being an idiot and he wasn't leaving me. After a few years I finally accepted it.

He had just come home after a week-long hunting trip with his family as a reunion. I couldn't resist the urge to cuddle up next to him like I hadn't seen him in years.

"So is everyone here then?"

"Yeah, downstairs. Alice is teeming with excitement to see you. She's barely contained as is, so why don't you put some clothes on and come downstairs. Will Kimber and Nick be home soon?"

"Yeah." I nodded and looked up at Edward's face. How did I get so lucky? How could he still want me? I kissed him on the lips again and lifted myself off the bed. He looked at me with the same lusty gleam in his eye from eight years ago. As I dressed, I wondered to myself.

My hair was turning grayer every month. I found full-fledged crows feet the other day. My skin was starting to sag and my breasts, which had somehow survived two children, were finally starting their descent down my chest. Edward still looked exactly the same as when I first sat next to him in Biology class so many years ago.

It didn't make sense to me one bit. But I wasn't about to disturb the peace.

The front door opened and I heard Kimber and Nick chatting in loud, excited voices. They halted abruptly, then we heard a loud scream and a growl.

"Emmett! Holy crap!" I hear Nick yell. I looked to Edward quickly; he had a wry smile twisting his lips so I knew there wasn't anything wrong, probably just Emmett being boisterous.

"So you're sure about tonight, then?" Edward asked.

"I've waited long enough. I need to have this talk with the kids."

"And if they say no?" he whispered. I sighed hard.

"I've already told you. I don't think they will. _But_, if they do—" I cut off Edward's protest by holding up her hand. "then we'll…take it from there."

Secretly, that was my biggest fear. If the kids didn't agree with what I wanted to do…I didn't want to think about what would happen.

I slipped my feet into my slippers and pulled my sliver-flecked hair into a braid.

"Ready?"

"Let's do this."

I took Edward's offered hand, ready to head into the firing squad.

**XOXO**

**Hey everyone! Hope y'all are enjoying the last bit of Right Vs. Good. **

**Ok, I always loved it when an author would have an interview of the characters. So my very good friend did one up for me! Thank you so much PJ, for doing this for me. You rock! **

**Enjoy, everyone! I tried to write these as objectively as possible :P **

**XOXO**

**Q:**

Kimber: What do you think of Bella treating you like another daughter?

**A:**

_I love it. I finally have a mom I can count on. Just anyone I can count on is amazing. _

**Q:**

Mike: What the hell were you thinking when you spewed those vicious lies about Bella being an unfit mother?

**A: **

*Looks to the floor in shame* _Well, I guess…I wasn't thinking. Things with me and Bella hadn't been good for a few years. I was angry. I lashed out at her, since she was the easiest target. I know now that I had no right to take it out on her. I'm very sorry I did._

**Q: **

Edward: What made you think that you even stood a chance at regaining Bella's affections?

**A: **

_I didn't. _*Chuckles nervously* _But if you had found the love of your life, if you had a second chance to win her heart, wouldn't you try, no matter how bleak the chances?_

**Q:**

Josh: What made you think that Edward was the one whom Bella was talking about when she said that she loved another?

**A:**

_I saw the way they looked at each other. All the time. It was clear she felt something toward him, even if she didn't admit it. She tried to deny it, but…I knew it was him._

**Q:**

Nicky: What was it about the Cullens that made you feel secure enough to connect with them?

**A:**

*Mumbles*

**Q:**

What was that, sweetie?

**A:**

_I don't know. They play with me an' stuff. Rose plays with me. An' Emmett makes me laugh._

**Q:**

Esme: What do you think of Nicky?

**A:**

_Oh, he's so sweet. And intelligent! Very shy, yes, but he reminds me of the children I used to teach when I was human. He's so…happy, despite the things he's seen. I love him dearly. _

**Q:**

Rose: Does Bella having a child change your outlook towards her?

**A:**

_No. Any woman can have a child. The fact that she's such a good mother makes me…think differently of her. I guess I respect her more. I think she's an idiot for willing to be with Edward again. But that's for a different reason. _*Shrugs* _She's a good mom. I'm proud of her for that. _

**Q:**

Jasper: What does Nicky feel around Edward?

**A:**

_He feels friendship, mostly. Happiness. Trust. He feels very at ease with Edward, more so than ever with Josh. _

**Q: **

Alice: Can you see what Nicky's future holds?

**A:**

*Smiles coyly* _Well that would give away the ending, wouldn't it?_

**Q:**

Carlisle: Has there been a discernable difference in Edward after this last chapter?

**A:**

*Smiles contentedly* _It's like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. He is easier to get to laugh, to lighten up. Why? What happened?_

**Q: **

Emmett: How the hell did you do it? I mean how did you know what to do to bring Nicky out of his shell?

**A:**

*Winks* _Kids are easy, man. You just laugh with 'em. Make sure they're comfortable above everything else. And make 'em feel safe. I've always made people feel safe anyway. Plus Nicky's a good kid. He's easy to get along with. _

**Q:**

Bella: What do you want from Edward & the Cullens now?

**A:**

*Looks to her lap and speaks softly* _I just don't want them to leave again. I'm so happy now that everyone is back in my life. I'm terrified they're going to disappear in the middle of the night. _


	19. Reflections

**Hello all my friends! Thanks for coming back! Well, this is it. The second-to-last chapter. Are you as sad as I am? Well, no fluff this time. I'll just let you get right to the story. It starts right where we left off last time. **

**As always, Stephenie Meyer owns all. I own a crappy dishwasher I have to fight with all the time...grrr...**

**Enjoy! XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Seventeen: Reflections**

Hugs had been passed around and "welcome homes" had been said. Esme had complimented my home profusely, although I knew it could never look as good as her own home—or homes. She and Carlisle sat on my large sofa, across from the plush chair that Edward and I were sharing. Rose and Emmett stood in front of the TV, entertaining us with stories from their travels around China. Jasper was talking with Nick and Kimber in the kitchen, and Alice was in the other chair in the living room.

When Rose had finished speaking, Carlisle asked, "Where are your father and the Blacks?"

"Everyone but Billy and Mel went camping up in Glacier Park for a few days, then they're going to head back home. The other two are staying at the resort there."

"We planned a camping trip around there soon, too, didn't we Rosie?" Emmett asked. "Dangerous times for humans to be running around there, what with all the grizzly you can eat."

I scowled good-naturedly at him and he burst out with laughter. I joined in. You couldn't help but laugh at Emmett's jokes. No matter how macabre they were.

I looked at Edward from where I was perched on his lap, and he gave me a look as if to say, "Get a move on." I sighed. We had talked about this with the Cullens, and everyone—with the exception of Rosalie—was in agreement. I had to talk to the kids to figure out the next step from here.

"Everyone? Could you come into the living room, please?" Jasper followed Kimber and Nick out and stood next to his wife. Nick sat next to Esme on the couch and leaned into her; she wrapped an arm around him. Kimber, however, stood on the other end of the room from the TV, as far away as she could get without being impolite. I never understood why they made her nervous and not Nick. She was ok with them most of the time, but the last time she had seen them was over two years ago, when they came for a visit at Christmas. It always took her a few days to warm up to them. Nick was always comfortable with the Cullens, like me. Edward reckoned it was because Nick was my biological son, and therefore we probably reacted to the same things in the same way.

"What's up?" Nick asked.

I looked at Edward and he kissed my forehead. That was all the encouragement I needed.

"I wanted to talk to you and Kimber." I shot a glance her way. "As you both know, I love Edward. I also love you both more than I could ever express. That's why I wanted to talk to you both…about how you would feel about my being changed."

Nick sat up and looked directly at me. Kimber wrapped her arms around her chest and stared at the floor.

"I won't do it unless the both of you are ok with it. And, Nick, it definitely won't be until after you're off at college." I felt a twinge of sadness at knowing how much older I would be than Edward; than any of them. I would have to pose as the mother, possibly the grandmother. I didn't regret it, or resent my children for it. And given the choice again I would have them both just the same. But I didn't like being so much older—Kimber was older than Edward was when he was changed.

Some of the tension in Nick's body relaxed at my reassurance not to leave him. Kimber still didn't move.

"So…what do you think?"

Nick sighed hard. "I always knew it was going to happen. I'm surprised you didn't ask before this. I'm all for it, as long as you don't fall off the face of the earth. At least—" he stopped short and looked at Edward. He nodded his head for Nick to continue. "At least I wouldn't have to deal with you dying eventually," he said quietly.

"Oh, Nick." I got up from Edward's lap and hugged my son. He was always afraid of people dying. A leftover fear from Gracie.

I turned to Kimber. "What do you think, sweetie?"

She rolled her eyes at the floor. "What I say won't matter anyway. You'll do it all the same."

"Kimber. I just said I wouldn't do it unless you're both fine with me changing. Don't get upset at me, you know what I said was true." She may be graduating college, but my best Mom Voice was enough to make her look ashamed of what she said.

She sighed in defeat. "I know. I just…I'm afraid. You would be ok with seeing us grow old? With seeing us die?"

My next words were harsh, but true and needed to be said.

"Kimber, sweetheart, one way or another we would all be dead. Does it really matter the order? I would rather mourn the both of you than either of you feel the pain of mourning me."

She nodded in understanding. Then she looked at me in the face for the first time since I had started speaking.

"Change me, too."

"What?"

"Change me, too. I want to be a vampire, too."

The Cullens looked amongst each other in contemplation.

"Kimber, I don't know if…" Carlisle started.

Kimber held up her hand to stop him. "Mom said she wouldn't do it unless Nick and I were both ok with it. I'm not ok with it unless I can be changed too. It's…it's actually something I've been thinking about for a while."

"You have?" That startled me; she always seemed to not want much to do with our vampire family.

She nodded. "I knew you wanted to be changed. I thought it was Nick and I holding you back. I was going to ask Carlisle during his visit this week about what he thought. I don't want to be apart from you."

"But Kimber, what about your job? What about what you've worked so hard for?"

"I won't be throwing it away, Mom. If anything it's a humongous opportunity for me to learn everything I could ever want to learn. Please. Please."

I sat back in Edward's lap and thought for a few moments. Having my children with me for all eternity would be a dream come true. But what about Nick?

"What do you think?" I asked him.

Nick shook his head. "I'm ok if you do. I'm ok if Kimber wants to. But I'm only fourteen. I can't even legally drive yet—" he shot a half guilty, half amused look at his sister, who returned it.

"I'm not going to ask," I said.

Everyone laughed. That was good, broke the tension. "But anyway, I can't fathom how my life is going to be by the time I'm off to college, or when I'm graduating or whatever I do. I know I don't want to become a vampire now. But I'm not crossing the idea off my list of possibilities."

"Ok. I understand. So…you would both be all right with my being changed." Kimber and Nick nodded. My heart sped up with anticipation; Edward squeezed my waist when he heard it pounding. The only thing to hash out now was when it would happen…but that was a conversation we could have at a later time.

It was entirely too serious in the living room. We needed to up the atmosphere a bit. How…?

Alice saved me. She bounced up from the seat and opened a large bag behind the chair. "I brought gifts!"

XOXO

For the four hundredth time I looked in the mirror and sighed in defeat. I couldn't go out of the bathroom in this. Not when the basis for perfection was sitting on my bed. I re-analyzed myself in the mirror. I didn't mind the wrinkles so much, or the south-traveling boobs. But my hair bugged the crap out of me. I was only thirty-five (ok, almost thirty-six) and my hair was grayer than most women my age. There was still a good amount of my chestnut brown, but I frequently got mistaken for being years older than I was. I blame Charlie.

I twirled a tress in my fingers and contemplated letting Alice have her way with it. Then looked lower at what I was wearing that Alice had already had her way with. A gauzy forest-green babydoll and panty set with a kind of floral print in some black velvety fabric. She had insisted I put it on the second I had Edward to myself, but I was kind of nervous now. I never felt comfortable in these sexy little numbers. They looked stupid and and itched like hell.

Edward was damn lucky I loved him.

I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. The guy wasn't even in the stupid bedroom. I crept into the hall and looked over the banister but couldn't see him in the kitchen. I cast a quick glance to the clock on the wall; it was almost two, everyone would be asleep by now.

"Edward?" I whispered.

"Living room," he called back. Taking a deep breath to keep my courage intact I went down the stairs and into the living room. I leant against the wall at the back of the stairs, right at the entrance of the living room and smoothed out the babydoll. The entire time I kept my eyes on the ground; I'm sure my face was past tomato red.

"Hey." Wow, I could get my voice to work. Kudos to me. I had barely greeted Edward when I felt a _whoosh_ of air and something falling around my shoulders and covering me. I opened my eyes and saw Edward's face in front of mine. I looked down and he had wrapped a blanket around me. A flash of anger shot through me. I worked up my courage and bit my pride and this is how he shows his appreciation? By going all prude on me? I opened my mouth to snap at Edward, but he wasn't even looking at me. I followed his gaze to the right of me, on the big sofa. Nick sat on it, stone-still and mouth open.

Crap.

"Uh…Nick. What are you doing up so late?"

"Looking for the eye bleach. But that's ok, I don't need it now. I think I just went blind."

"Nick!"

He got up off the sofa and put his hands up; he walked slowly to the stairs as if he were talking someone off a ledge. "I'll go to my room. But for God's sake keep it down please. My MP3 player's broken and your room is right next to mine."

"Just go."

Nick skittered to his room, laughing.

I looked at Edward. "I blame your brother for Nick's sense of humor."

Edward chuckled and dropped his lips to brush mine. He lowered the blanket and pulled away from me to look at the outfit I was wearing. His eyes darkened considerably.

"Hmm…I must send Alice a thank-you note."

"Smartass," I said, smirking. "I feel ridiculous."

He ran his long fingers over my belly, over the sides of my breasts and to cup around my neck on either side. "Hmm…You feel like my Bella." I rolled my eyes. "You _look_ incredible."

I was still with my back against the wall. Edward moved one of his hands from my neck to the wall and replaced it with his mouth, barely touching my skin as he swept his way from my ear to just at my shoulder and back up. His other hand traveled down my neck, lowered the strap over my shoulder, and continued his long fingers over my collarbone, between my breasts to lay flat against my stomach. He had this obsession with my stomach, I don't know why.

I moaned into Edward's mouth and he lifted me up so my legs were were wrapped around his waist. I felt us start to move across the floor and up the stairs. He set me down on our bed, then gently pushed me onto my back, legs still bound around his waist.

I watched Edward as he moved his hands from my shoulders to the top button of his Polo. I could feel his smirk as I watched him slowly undo his shirt.

Tease.

As he pulled the shirt off his head, Edward's eyes met mine. I loved how they would always darken when we were together like this. It was an ego boost that every time he saw my body he had to struggle to keep control. In a matter of seconds his eyes would go from gold to black and send a thrill through me.

I leaned up on one elbow and ran my fingers over the ridges of his abs. Once again I fretted over him being so perfect at seventeen, whereas I—

"Don't you do that." I looked up at Edward's face. "I see what you're doing and don't start it. You're perfect."

I wasn't convinced and Edward saw it. He raised an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"Say what's on your mind."

"Can't we just go back to what we were doing?" I ground myself into his erection and saw the internal debate in his face before he suddenly fisted his hand in the fabric barely covering me and ripped it from my body.

_Poor Alice. She'll be dev—oh God._

I hadn't even noticed Edward undoing his pants before he thrust into me unexpectedly.

"Let me show you how perfect you are, Bella."

**XOXO**

"How are you going to feel when people ask why you're with your grandmother so much?"

"What do you mean?" Edward ran his fingers up and down my stomach. See? Stomach obsession. No idea.

"After I'm changed. People are going to wonder why you seem strangely close to someone older than your mother."

"Esme? You may look older than her—"

"Thanks."

"Bella, listen to me. You look older than Esme because you _are_ older than Esme, in a sense. The change will probably take a few years off of your appearance. And anyway, even if it didn't, it wouldn't matter. We will be together. Why does anything else matter, especially something as trivial as how old you appear? Ignore what other people think."

I sighed and snuggled my back further into his chest. Stupid, accurate…

"Besides, at least it means you won't have to repeat high school again and again and again…"

I snickered. "Yeah. Thank goodness for that."

He nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck and inhaled slowly. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"So…since you're going to be spending eternity with me anyway…"

"Yes?"

I felt him twist around in the bed and come back to cocoon me in his arms. "Will you make it official with me?" He took my left hand from the mattress and slipped a ring around my finger. Bright gold and a large, but simple oval cut diamond. Garnets were set on either side of the diamond. "Will you marry me?"

"I'm surprised you didn't ask a long time ago. Of course I will." I turned and kissed Edward, forcing my lips on his tightly. I felt him smile under my onslaught. When he pulled away, he ran a finger around my ring.

"Does it look familiar?"

"Vaguely. Why?"

"The ring I gave you a long time ago? It's the same design, only diamond instead of pearl, garnet instead of ruby. I was going to give you my mother's ring, but I know you wear the other one on this finger most of the time anyway. I figured we could have our own. If that makes any sense."

I grinned at him. "I get it. Thank you, it's so beautiful." I yawned.

"Darling, it's past three. Why don't you get to sleep? I'll entertain everyone tomorrow and let you sleep in."

"Thanks. I love you so much."

"I love you, Isabella."

**XOXO**

I woke up at noon the next day. It felt nice; usually I was up at six. I made my way downstairs and found Carlisle reading on my couch. A Chopin CD was in the stereo, barely masking a rhythmic banging down in the basement. Carlisle looked up from his old leather-bound text and smiled at me.

"Good morning, Bella. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I did, thanks. You?" I asked. He winked at me. Carlisle was easy to be with. He had a good sense of humor, if a bit dry. And it seemed like he could always innately tell what I needed when it came to talking or quiet.

"What's going on?"

"I've been sworn to secrecy. Esme promised me she would deny me if I told you. Sorry. I'm not risking it."

I rolled my eyes. Men. All alike.

"Edward made you coffee, it should still be warm."

"Thanks." I made my way to the kitchen and poured myself a cup. I sat at the bar with a newspaper and turned to Carlisle. "Where is everyone?"

"Kimber and Nick decided to join Charlie camping. Emmett and Rose went hunting. The rest I don't know really, they were gone before Esme got back from Bed Bath & Beyond and Home Depot. I just got back from a hunt myself."

"Bed Bath? Home Depot? Why was she there?"

"Uh..."

"Oh dear God, what did she do?" Esme decorated my home when I moved in, but she was too much like Alice. She couldn't leave it alone and every time she came to visit she had to re-do my house.

"I would like the record to show that I had nothing to do with this. She took my car without my knowledge or consent," Carlisle defended, a wry smirk on his lips.

I sighed. "I need to call Kimber and Nick first."

I called Kimber's cell first, but it was turned off. Nick's phone rang but he didn't pick up. "Hey, it's Nick. Leave a message. If this is Mom, sorry I didn't tell you first but it was last second and you were still asleep and you can punish me when I get home. Bye!"

I rolled my eyes and told him to call me back. Then I picked up my mug and headed to the downstairs, ruffling Carlisle's hair on my way.

"Esme…what are you—what did you do!"

"Oh, hello, Bella. I told Carlisle not to tell you I was doing this," she said casually, then went back to hammering the drywall.

"What in the world is going on?"

"You've been talking about getting this basement done for a long time now. I just thought I'd get it jump-started for you."

"Esme, this is too much."

"I'd hold out my hand to stop you but I have to use both hands. So please just stop there and accept it. If you're really that concerned about it you can go into the bathroom. I have some samples in there for you."

I ground my teeth together and went to the bathroom.

_Oh, God, Esme._

She had tile samples, paint samples, wood, carpet, laminate samples. Some drawings she'd made up of plans for the rooms. She'd basically planned out two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a rec room of sorts.

"Esme…how much is this costing?"

"I'm sorry, dear! Can't hear you! Nail gun!"

You'd thought I'd learned my lesson by now, wouldn't you?

A few hours later I was in the kitchen at the bar, looking through samples, when Edward came home with Alice and Jasper. He wrapped his arms around my waist and leant his chin on my shoulder. "Hello, Love. How are you?"

"I'm just fine. How about you? What were you doing?"

"I'm better now that I'm with you."

"Cheese."

"No thanks, don't like it."

"Dork. So what were you guys doing?"

"Esme sent us on errands. She's getting as bad as Alice at shopping, if that's possible at all."

"Do we need to schedule an intervention?"

"Let's wait to see if she starts bouncing first. Then we might have to."

We chuckled and he helped me go over some sets for the downstairs. It was nice, doing something as mundane as picking out paint and carpet with him. I had a vision of us doing this years from now, sitting side-by-side, talking about plans for our home.

I was excited to be with him in every sense of the word. As his wife, a vampire, his equal in _all_ ways, finally. Not just in the looks. In all honesty, that didn't bug me too much. Certain times of the month (read: PMS) my insecurities flared up along with my mood swings and basically drove Edward crazy. No, I was anxious to be equal to Edward in the sense that when we were intimate he could fully enjoy himself instead of over-analyzing every movement of his hands and hips. I was excited to be able to retain enough information to have an intelligent conversation where I could both understand his case and not have to end it because I simply didn't know about the subject. Just last month we'd had a conversation about a new weight loss surgery and Edward, having just finished up his most recent medical doctorate, knew more about it than I could retain in one conversation and when I looked it up in his university books I couldn't make head nor tail of it. I craved the ability to talk with Edward on his own level.

And of course I was excited to have newborn strength and get Emmett back for all the times he held me above his head and spun me around. Especially the time Alice had forced me into a wraparound skirt and the wind kicked the stupid thing up to show the whole room my ass. Oh yes, payback was going to be a bitch.

Edward glanced at the clock on the wall and stood. "What do you want for dinner?"

I peeked at the clock, too. Almost four-thirty. "I can make it," I offered, albeit half-heartedly. Edward had also perused enough of my cookbooks and watched plenty of Cooking Channel to become a great cook. Of course, he didn't have a perfect track record. Sure he never let anything burn or even overcook because of his great sense of smell. But he liked to experiment. Like the time he put wasabi into Thai peanut sauce…Euugh. It took three days to get the smell out of the house. I didn't even dare taste it. Despite all that he had grown into a fantastic cook and though I still loved to prepare meals, I rarely turned down one of his masterpieces.

"Sit down, Love. I'll get it. Lasagna?"

"Sure. Sounds good. Thanks."

Edward got started on dinner and I stared off absent-mindedly. My thumb, of its own free will, twirled my new ring around my finger. I looked down at it. It was beautiful, that's for sure. I didn't even want to think about how much it cost.

I found myself thinking about Josh. The whole ordeal eight years ago had been…not good. After I broke up with him he continued to see Nick once or twice a week, taking him out to the park or to a movie, even to stay the night a couple of times. We never returned to being friends and things were awkward between the two of us to this day. Josh kept his promise and never told anyone about Edward. Edward graduated Flathead High the year after, and seeing as the story was that he would be going to college, our cover was that Edward and I broke up amicably. By that time Kimber and Nick knew the real situation, so the only person I had to lie to was Josh.

That would be another thing I would enjoy. Not lying to people important to me.

After Edward and I "broke up" Josh tried to stir up the same feelings as before, but even if it hadn't been a ruse I wouldn't be interested in Josh again. He was a friend. An awkward friend, yes, but a friend nonetheless. About five years ago the diner closed and Josh left for eastern Montana, where his cousin was opening up a bar. Nick was devastated, but Josh called often and visited when he came to see his family. Last I'd heard he had met a nurse and moved in with her just recently. I was happy for him. Especially since he _really_ had a thing for nurses. Let's just say that the outfit Edward had only a few hours previously ripped off of me was tame compared to some of the embarrassing things Josh tried to convince me to wear.

I still felt bad for accepting Josh's marriage proposal. I hurt him badly and lost one of my best friends in the process. But I would never be sorry I had dated him. It was good for me. If I hadn't been with him, I probably would've jumped into a relationship with Edward too fast and ruined our chances of having a healthy relationship this go-round. As opposed to the train wreck obsession that was our relationship in high school. Our connection had grown and strengthened after seeing Edward fight so hard for me. I needed it, because I couldn't have gained his trust back just by his word. He showed me and he won. And he only played a little bit dirty.

I sat at the bar and watched Edward get dinner together. I was so lucky. Not everyone gets to marry their best friend. Everything that had happened to bring us apart, we had gotten through together. Through James attacking me, through Edward leaving me, our nasty reunion, my dating Josh and Edward fighting for me, growing up, maturing, trials and errors, mistakes and successes. He was my support, the whole Cullen family was.

I couldn't wait to marry him.


	20. Home

**Hello all! Well...here it is. The last chapter. I feel like crying. Again, a leap in time-it's 4 years ahead of the last chapter. Other than that, nothing that's not explained in the chapter. **

**The conversation between Bella and Kimber actually happened with me and my friend PJ. She was talking about Edward's sparkly peen, and I told her about the time I poured glitter all over my husband-then boyfriend's-bed and gave him a sparkly peen. We laughed, and trust me, firsthand-yogurt out the nose hurts. 'Nuff said. **

**As promised, at the end of this chapter is a preview of my new story-I don't have a name for it yet. I hope everyone likes it!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own spicy salsa...yum.**

**Enjoy! XOXO-Ka**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Chapter Eighteen: Home**

"I feel ridiculous. Why do I have to wear this stupid thing? I didn't the first time."

"And you got divorced. Deal with it."

"Ouch, Al. Too low. Can't you at least make the bobby pins less embedded in my skull?"

"It's already in place. If I have to move it again I'll mess up the whole thing and re-do your hair. We're already running late as is, so you'll just have to wait until after the ceremony."

I rolled my eyes at her and sighed.

"Look up," she commanded. I obeyed and Alice pulled my bottom eyelid down to do the liner.

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to cry. Are you sure eye makeup is such a good idea?"

"Bella, do me a favor. Just stop thinking and relax."

"Relax. Yeah, the woman with a sharp instrument pressed to my eye says relax."

"I have no qualms about duct taping your mouth shut."

I pressed my lips together and shut up. What happened to "the bride gets her way on the wedding day"? Oh, yeah. Alice was the planner.

Bride. Wedding day. Twelve years ago those were two things I never thought would pertain to me again. But here I was. In Alice and Jasper's bathroom upstairs. Of course she would have the biggest bathroom and closet. She had me sitting on the vanity stool while she knelt between my legs, doing my makeup. My veil was laced intricately into my hair, which was pulled back at the sides with two golden combs that belonged to Esme—my something borrowed. The veil was simple gauzy material, edged with a silk white ribbon.

The butterflies in my stomach refused to disperse, no matter how I tried to calm myself down. It was extremely unnerving. I wished Charlie was there to walk me down the aisle.

Four more years had passed since Edward had proposed to me. I was forty. Nick was eighteen. Kimber had just turned twenty-six. So much had changed in those few years. Charlie died two years ago. It was a really hard time for all of us, but not unexpected. He'd had a heart attack that landed him in the hospital for a double bypass. The doctors warned that if he didn't change his habits he would have another attack that he probably wouldn't survive, but with Charlie you might as well tell him to stop fishing. Three months later he died. The funeral was planned mostly by Billy, with some input from me. It was a small affair; just the Blacks and the cops from Forks that he'd worked with, and me and my kids.

After that, Billy finally broke down, sold the house and moved in with Jake and Mel and their five kids. William and Maggie had been joined shortly after they were up for the graduation party by Josie, and six months ago Mel had twins, April and Jaime. They still wanted more; I swear they were aiming for a litter. I couldn't imagine it, but then again I had eight years on Mel.

Renee passed nine months ago, after finding out much too late that she had breast cancer. I got to go to Jacksonville with Nick right before she died, and helped Phil plan everything. Kimber didn't go—she was still struggling with her "newborn-ness" and besides, she and Renee really weren't all that close. She wouldn't have felt comfortable. Mom was buried in Jacksonville, in a plot under a palm tree next to an empty one for Phil. I kept in touch with him through e-mail but there was really no reason for me to see him anymore. He was a nice guy and everything, but he wasn't really in my life other than being my cross-country step-dad.

So in light of these events, I was free to marry Edward without having to explain why he looked exactly as he did when I was seventeen. Carlisle would be officiating. Nick would give me away. The only people attending would be the Cullens and my children. And, if she creeped out, eleven-pound Tally, Kimber's ugly Persian cat. Four years ago she'd been cute but now that her neck and forehead were threatening to swallow her flat face, she brought to mind the phrase "a face only a mother could love". Technically she was Kimber's but since she was changed the thing wouldn't come within fifteen feet of her.

Kimber worked, nursing at the hospital until she had been changed via Carlisle eighteen months ago. The family had come to an agreement that having two newborns at the same time would prove absolutely completely volatile, and Kimber decided to get it done and over with. She'd only come to see me for the first time a month ago, and it was extremely hard for her. The entire time she was stiff and she barely talked. Rosalie and Emmett flanked her the whole visit. She couldn't even hug me; she didn't have that kind of self-control yet. We talked on the phone since she was changed but it wasn't the same. I missed my baby girl.

I laughed, remembering our last conversation before she was changed. Alice scowled at me and wiped a bit of eyeliner out of the corner of my eye.

"What's so funny?"

"Just remembering what Kim and I talked about before she was changed."

"…And?"

"Well…we were sitting on her bed talking and she was asking questions—personal ones like she couldn't ask Carlisle…"

_Kimber runs her finger along the flower decoration on the comforter. She's leaning against the headboard and I'm sitting against the wall with her feet in my lap, rubbing them. She's eating yogurt and in-between spoonfuls asking questions. Her brow is puckered, thinking about her next question. _

"_Ok…so what if I get control of the thirst and I get in the same situation you and Edward are in? Or, not even love let's just say I want a good time—"_

"_Kimber!"_

_She rolls her eyes. "Mom, c'mon. Just because you were never interested in just fooling around doesn't mean everyone is. I mean, I've been with—"_

"_Just stop there. Please. Spare me the honesty. I would rather be blind to your lack of innocence."_

"_Jeez, mom, where did you think I _was_ last night? I wanted one last good boink before I have to start restraining myself."_

_I put my hands over my ears. "Oh, sweet lord, tell me I am not hearing this."_

_Kimber apparently decides to take advantage of my momentary weakness. "That's not even the best part, his peen was like, this—"_

"_La la la la la la la! Please, Kimber, I love you but just shut the hell up right now!"_

_She's about falling off the bed laughing. "Mom, I'm twenty-five. You can't honestly expect that I'm a virgin."_

"_No, but I at least hoped you would have a—a—I don't know, friend with benefits? Not…many."_

"_Mom, you're a big girl. You can say fuck buddy."_

"_Oh God, kill me now. Can we just get back to the conversation please? I'm going to need some serious therapy."_

_Kimber rolls her eyes and rightens herself on the bed. "Anyway. What if that happens, though? I mean, obviously it can happen without the human being hurt, but how difficult would it be for me?"She takes another bite and then swirls the stuff around in the tub, looking at it rather than me. _

"_Um…pretty hard, sweetie. Even though we've been…you know…for a while now, Edward still has to practice a lot of restraint. It's not easy by any means."_

"_Then if you're just going to have a good time, like those Denali guys, then why do it? Why go to all that trouble?"_

"_Well, first off because there aren't that many vampires out there who live the kind of permanent-resident lifestyle we do, let alone who don't have a mate. Unless you're a nomad your chances of running into another vampire are slim-to-none. Also it feels better. Edward explained it to me like this; he doesn't have anything to compare it to, since I'm the only woman he's been with, but he guesses that what makes it worth it for people like his friends Tanya, or Kate, is the warmth. Once you're a vampire, touching another one is like me touching you—the warmth of the person is the same. You've touched the others, and they're cold. You're very warm to them. The difference in temperature is a very…um—pleasing experience. Plus there's the sport of it, but I know you wouldn't be that depraved."_

_Kimber nods her head in both understanding and acquiescence. She looks down at her lap again, and I can practically see the next question pop into her head. "Say I wanted to have sex in the sunlight. Would my lady bits sparkle?"_

_I laugh out loud. "I don't know for sure but I would guess so."_

"_You'd guess? Well does Edward's peen sparkle?"_

_My eyes about pop out of my head. I can feel the blush start from my neck and bloom to cover my entire face. _

"_It does, doesn't it! Edward's got a sparkly peen!"She's laughing as she takes another bite of her yogurt. _

_We can hear Emmett's booming laugh blasting from upstairs. "Shut up!" Edward growls at him. _

"_Edward Sparkle Peen! Edward Sparkle Peen!"Emmet's taunting receives a slap upside the head._

"_You've got it too, moron!"_

"_Oh, shit! You're right."_

_It literally hurts to try to suck in air, I'm laughing so hard. _

"_Oh my god!" Kimber's got her hand to her nose and she's still laughing. "Oh my god it went through my nose!"_

"_W-w-what?"_

"_My yogurt! Owwww!"_

_I cackle harder. Edward opens Kimber's bedroom door and hits her with a glare I swear would kill her if it could._

"_I understand that you two are having some kind of mother-daughter bonding moment. But kindly leave my body parts out of it!" He storms off and I hear the sliding glass door open and slam shut. I glance at Kimber and meet her eyes and we dissolve into another peal of giggles._

Looking back it was a perfect way to say goodbye. When I saw Kimber for the first time at the beginning of the month, when we were talking about the wedding arrangements, the first thing she said to me wasn't even hello. It was, "Well, you were right. _That_ sparkles too."

Edward threw another mini-tantrum.

"I remember that. The look on Edward's face was priceless," Alice said. She uncapped the lipgloss and applied it, then stood back and looked at me. She tucked a flyaway hair beneath the veil, licked her finger and swiped it above my lip, then smiled. "I think you're done."

I stood from the stool and looked in the mirror. Both pieces of the veil were back, covering my lightly curled hair. I smiled at myself, happy with the results. My eyes were barely lined and shadowed, and looked natural. There was no cover-up or blush on my face, as Edward had requested. My lingerie was gentle blue satin with lace trim. It wasn't the honeymoon outfit—that scary-looking contraption would come later.

"Come on. We have ten minutes to get your dress on."

The dress was an…interesting compromise. Alice wanted a big fluffy cupcake kind of deal. I told her I would rather walk down the aisle naked. It was the one thing where I really put my foot down. So after a few tries I found it. The perfect dress. It was floor-length, with a small petticoat underneath. Long-sleeved satin that covered three-quarters of my arms, then flowed into lace that almost covered my hands. The front of the scoop-neck bodice was laced in pale pink silk, like a corset without the breathing troubles. The back buttoned from nape of neck to end of spine in the same pale pink silk no bigger than pearls. I wore no shoes. The only jewelry I wore was my engagement ring, though the first ring he had given me was tucked into my bra.

What? I had no pockets.

Once I was buttoned in and had a last once-over by Alice, she called Esme and Rose up for the final ok.

"Oh, Bella. You're stunning." Esme looked like she would cry if she could.

"Edward won't know what hit him," Rose smirked approvingly.

"Ok. Let's go," I said. Alice took one hand, Esme the other, and Rose lowered the veil over my face. We went down the stairs and Alice messed with the sound system for a moment. Our lullaby came on both inside and out. Alice had draped the sliding glass doors in heavy linen so no one could peek. Nick came in through them, dressed all spiffy in a charcoal suit—we'd opted no on tuxes. Too formal for such an intimate gathering.

"Wow Mom. Check you out. You're so pretty."

"Thanks, Nick." I kissed him on the cheek.

"Ok, we're going to go first. When we're both in our seats you start up the aisle."

"All right."

My heart was thumping erratically. I knew everyone could hear it out there. I struggled not to sweat.

"Settle down, Mom. It's going to be fine."

"I know that. Still…"

"Let's go." I hadn't noticed that Alice, Rose, and Esme were seated, and the former was staring daggers into the house, impatient that we had disobeyed her careful orders.

Slowly, painfully slowly, Nick led me up the aisle. My legs were wobbly and my breathing shallow. Edward turned as I came over the threshold. His eyes grew and his mouth dropped.

_Well that's reassuring._

He shook his head after a second, when everyone stood, and closed his mouth into a loving smile. He looked stunning in his clothes—a black suitjacket with a long tail and tan trousers. His normally unruly hair was slicked back. It looked nice, but I wanted to run my hands through it and make it more Edwardesque.

The walk up the aisle took forever, even though it was only twenty feet. Nick stopped me Just before Edward and put my hand in his, kissed my cheek, and went to sit down.

I honestly couldn't tell you what all was said during the ceremony, except for my part, because I had it memorized.

I was too busy thinking about my and Edward's journey.

The way he looked at me the first time he smelled me in Biology class. The way he terrified me then, for shallow reasons. Dinner at La Bella Italia. How we were in our own little bubble. The first kiss, coming from the meadow. Oh, that beautiful meadow.

The first time he came to my class. I was so angry. The way he fought for me and fought for me and fought. The first time we made love. The last time we made love—just last night, against Alice's demands.

"I do," I heard myself say, bringing me out of my thoughts. I smiled, tears suddenly in my eyes.

"I pronounce you husband and wife. You may ki—not till I say so!" Carlisle laughed.

I had pounced on him with so much enthusiasm that he didn't respond right away. When he did, though, he wrapped his arms around me and crushed his mouth to mine, licking my lips and tasting my tongue with his. Our family applauded and rushed us, slapping backs, hugging, kissing, congratulating. It was a mass of people talking and laughing in one big mosh of family. We were pulled this direction and that to talk and answer questions.

Edward never let go of my hand.

* * *

Edward had his tie wrapped around my eyes and was carrying me up what felt to be a small hill. We had driven from the house around two in the afternoon, to get a head start. To where I had no idea. The windows were so darkly tinted I couldn't tell where the sun was setting, and Edward had told me to close my eyes whenever we passed a sign. About an hour from our destination it was dark, for which Edward was thankful because he didn't want to blindfold me. He finally parked and got me out of the car, telling me to keep my eyes closed. He then threw me across his back and ran. Oh, I would never get used to that.

"Open up, love. We're here." I peeked my eyes open and gasped.

"The meadow."

"The meadow," he chuckled.

"Thank you, Edward. It's perfect." I dropped myself from his back and went to stand in front of him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him in for a kiss.

Gently he lowered me to the ground and moved his mouth to cover my pulse point. He kissed and suckled there for a moment, then went to my collarbones.

"I love you, my gorgeous bride."

"I love you too, Edward."

"You still wanted it to happen tonight?"

"Yes," I gasped as he lowered the dress and pulled my nipple out. The cool air hit it and was almost immediately replaced with Edward's cold tongue.

"Then I will. But not here. Not this time. I want to love you first. Then we can go to the house and I will do it there."

I nodded.

"Turn."

I rolled onto my stomach and Edward started undoing the buttons. "Do you realize how sexy these stupid little buttons are? They're a pain to undo, they prolong the excitement on purpose. Any human man would go mad trying to get to his wife." He grunted. "Screw it." I heard a loud rip and felt myself suddenly exposed.

"Edward! Alice is going to kill you."

He rolled me over—not roughly but not gently either. "We are about to make love on the night of our wedding and you bring up my sister?" A smug smirk played on his lips.

"Sorry. But you know she is."

"I don't care." He sat me up and took the dress by the shoulders, lowering it down my arms slowly. "Stand." I did, and the dress dropped from my body to the forest floor. Edward was still kneeling on the grass. He opened his arms to me and I came to his already naked form. I straddled his lap and felt his erection pushing into my belly. I sighed.

He began to rock into me slowly, kissing my neck and ears and caressing my nipples.

"You are my everything," he whispered.

"And you are mine."

"Good." He slipped into me.

A long time later we came together and sighed and grunted in unison.

_Home._

* * *

We were lying on the bed in the Cullen house in Forks, early morning. Edward's body was covered in the beautiful diamonds that I loved. And that in three short days I would have as well.

Edward stroked my cheek. He was lying on top of me, his lately ever-present erection still inside of me. We were both coming down from orgasm for the fourth time since the meadow. He kissed my nose.

"You're sure about this?"

"I am."

"All right, love. I'll be here the whole time." Worry was lining his face.

"I know. Just do it."

He moved the hair from my neck and tilted my chin up and to the side with two fingers. I felt a kiss on my neck, a lick, and then a sharp pain. I gasped and cried out in pain as fire licked from my neck up my face and down my chest.

"Edward…" I whined.

"I'm sorry my love. It will be over soon. I promise. Hold on."

* * *

**Chapter One**

"Bisou, you little turd! Give me back my bra!" I chased the stupid dog off my bed and plucked the pink bra off of it. There was a button chewed off. "This cost me twenty-five bucks! I haven't had it a month, and _you_ ruined it!"

I'd asked my dad to get me a little dog for my birthday. I meant a Yorkie or a Chihuahua. No. He got me a Corgi. They're kind of like Danny DeVito; stubby legs and a roundness that makes up for it. They're little, but sturdy, so you can't carry them around in one of those cute little doggy handbags. She was only three months old, I'd had her for four weeks, and she loved to chew my underwear. I'd spent half my latest paycheck just replacing the shredded bras and panties. Forget the gas for my truck or lunch money.

Bisou lowered her belly to the ground and pouted at me with her ears back. I immediately felt guilty for yelling at her. I stuck the bra in her nose and told her no firmly, then patted her head. She wiggled to my touch and knew she was forgiven. Just because she was a pest didn't mean she deserved to be screamed at.

I glanced at my watch; a quarter to ten. "Damn. I have to get going." I dropped the towel to the floor and shimmied into my panties and bra, ignoring the missing button. Ugly black polo—check. Unfashionable straight-legged jeans—check. Awesome lime Converse—check. Purse—where's my purse?

"Bisou! Get away from that, you fatso!"

Slobbered purse? Check.

**XOXO**

"Hi! What can I get for you?"

"Skinny mocha, please."

"All right…what size?" I punched in the girl's order. She was gorgeous, tall and blonde with huge blue eyes. Her hips were made for dancing and I was instantly envious of them. She could fill out that jersey tank top better than I ever could.

"Medium. And whatever my sister wants." She stepped to the left and the tiny black-haired girl next to her smiled at me.

"Hi! I'll have a double Americano with just an eensy bit of cream, please. Small." She also had blue eyes and her sister's little nose, but where Blondie was about two inches taller than me, I doubted this one was five feet tall. She was extremely thin, but you could tell it was genetics not diet.

"Ok. Anything else?"

"Our brother is supposed to be coming in soon. Use this to pay for what he wants and keep the rest. He's got blonde curly hair, looks exactly like me." Blondie handed me a ten and winked with a smile. I smiled back.

"Ok. So I have a 16oz skinny mocha, a 12oz double Americano with cream, and whatever your brother wants. That it?"

Jess started making the drinks.

"Yep."

"Can I have a name to call when its ready?"

"Rosalie."

"All rightie. Thanks!"

Blondie, or Rosalie, nodded and went to sit at a table with her sister. It was then I noticed their clothes—their very fashionable, designer clothes. Were those—no way. I'd dreamed of having a pair of JC's for years. And Blondie was strutting her stuff in them. Bitch.

"Hello? Earth to Belly?"

"Huh? Oh. Hi Edward."

"Jeez, what were you doing, babe?" He followed my gaze to where the two sisters had sat and were looking at a magazine. Jess brought them their drinks and they smiled at her in thanks. They were very cheery, weren't they?

"I've fallen in love."

"Wha—Oh my gosh. Have you finally crossed over to the dark side?" He waggled his eyebrows. "Which one? The voluptuous blonde or the member of the IBTC?"

"IBTC?"

"Itty Bitty Titty Committee."

I laughed loudly at him, then sighed. "The black."

"Uh…honey? They're both white."

"No, black. Three inches. Supremely gorgeous."

"What?"

I pointed at the closer girl's feet.

"Should have known." He shook his head and clucked his tongue at me. "Jimmy's?"

"Yup."

The bell dinged as someone came in and Edward moved to the side of the counter and looked out the window. Oh, this had to be the brother. He had shoulder-length dirty-blonde hair, kind of curly and a bit frizzy. He did look just like Blondie and about her age, too. They could only be twins. He could be handsome; however, where Blondie's skin was immaculate, the brother's skin was so dry it made me itch just looking at it. His glasses were thick but so stylish his sister had to have picked them out; thin silver wire, probably Italian. He wore uneven cutoff jean shorts that he probably did himself and a black shirt with Blizzard Entertainment written in gold across the chest. On his feet were brown hiking sandals.

It was a complete opposite of what his sisters looked like and I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him. He came up to the counter and grinned at me.

"Hi."

"Hi. What can we getcha?"

"Uh…I don't know about coffee really. What is there?"

"Well…Are you in the mood for hot or iced?"

"Uh…hot?"

"Ok then…we've got lattes, which is coffee and steamed milk with a flavor. There's mocha which is basically a hot chocolate with a shot of coffee. Americano—"

"Ugh. I know what an Americano is. My sister gets them, they're nasty." We both chuckled.

"Any of those sound good? I've got more."

"You know…I don't really know. What's your favorite?"

"Me? I like caramel Macchiatos myself."

"I guess I'll have one of those then."

"Yeah? All rightie, one caramel Macchiato. What size?" The boy shrugged. "Medium," I said, punching it in. I heard Jess start on it.

The boy went to pull out his wallet. "Actually—your sister paid for it. Rosalie, right?"

"Yeah. They're here already? Damn I thought I was gonna be early for once. Where are they?"

"Behind the partition there." He peeked around from my point of view. The little one was facing us and saw him. She waved and Blondie turned around and waved, too. The boy waved back.

"Thanks."

"Yep. Oh, can I get your name? To call you when your coffee's ready?"

"Jasper."

"Ok Jasper. It'll be up in a few."

He smiled at me, then turned and sat at the table with his sisters.

Edward leant against the counter. "Ooh, somebody has a crush on you."

"Get real."

"I am. Did you see the way that boy smiled at you?"

"Whatever. He's not my type, anyway."

"Whatever you say, dollface."

Edward ordered his drink, then sat surfing the net until it was time for me to get off work. I watched the three of them talk and drink their coffees and laugh for about an hour before they left. The boy—Jasper—looked around to where I was wiping off syrup bottles as he held the door open for his sisters. He smiled and winked at me, a lot more flirtatiously than his sister had before walking out to the parking lot. I just shook my head. _So_ not my type.

After I was done at work Edward and I went to my place. I cranked up the radio as I danced with him around the kitchen while I made dinner. Halfway through his cell phone rang.

He frowned before he answered.

"Hey, Mom."

I turned back to the stove and continued rubbing the seasoning into the steaks; Emmett would cook them when he got home from work. I set the steaks into the fridge and got to work on the potatoes, wrapping them in foil and stabbing them with a fork.

"I don't know. No, I'm not staying the night. Yes, I'm at Bella's. I don't know! I will be home when I'm home. Yes. Bye." He turned his phone off and slammed it on the counter before jumping onto it and crossing a leg under him.

"What's up?"

"Same ol' shit."

Elisabeth Masen. There's a story. She was raised in a very close-minded little Catholic community. She married a Catholic man at 19, real freaking nutbag. He moved them out to Seattle as soon as they were married, and proceeded to try to have children. And try, and try. He refused to go to the doctor to find out what was wrong, alternating between insisting that it was God's will that they not have children and her not being faithful enough. So, being the good Catholic indulgence-withholding man that he was, refused to have sex when she couldn't get pregnant after a few years.

Edward's mom got fed up with sexual tension and had a raunchy affair with a neighbor. Right after that, she was knocked up, having never considered birth control, and her husband left her. So she gave birth to a baby boy and named him after her ex-husband in contrition.

Flash-forward fifteen years. The recently pubescent teenage Edward is stashing Playgirl magazines and Alex Sanchez books under his bed. Mommy comes in to clean up, finds them, goes ballistic. Wails about how it's God's punishment on her for being unfaithful, yada yada, yada. She moves them to Forks and the first day of school I punch my boyfriend's face for pushing down the messy-haired new gay guy.

We've been best friends ever since.

Edward's mom likes me well enough, but she would love me if Eddie and I were together. Can you say "ew"? She's actually told him to try and sleep with me so he won't be gay anymore. How twisted can you get? She encourages him to stay over, and he does a lot, but for totally different reasons than she hopes. She thinks we're getting our freak on, he's really getting his drink on. She doesn't demean him for being gay, and she didn't try to kick him out or disown him or anything like that, but trying to get him to change at every turn is almost worse.

The only awkward part I find about him being gay is that he has a crush on my brother. Just. Wrong.

"What'd she say?"

He rolled his eyes. "Wanted to know where I am, what I'm doing, _who_ I'm doing. The usual."

I nodded in response and set the potatoes into the oven, then tugged Edward upstairs to my room. I turned on the computer and left the door open so we could hear the music playing downstairs.


	21. Epilogue

**All my lovely readers! Here is the epilogue. Fast-forward another eleven years. There's a lot of info in this chapter. **

**I hope everyone has enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Love you all. And please, if you have any ideas, questions, want to get a hold of me, I love talking with my readers. I welcome any message. **

**Thank you to each and every one of you for your support. Oh God, I'm crying. Stupid pregnancy hormones. Ok. I'll let you get to the Epilogue. I hope you enjoy it. It's in Edward's point of view. **

**Enjoy! XOXO-Ka**

**For the last time, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own...this fanfic. :)**

* * *

**Right Vs. Good**

**by: JudeOrion**

**Epilogue  
**

"Gram'pa! Catch me!" Blake pumped the swing a couple of times to go even higher, then launched himself into the air. He screamed in delight and a slight twinge of fear. I pretended not to see him coming until the next second, then dove under him and caught him in a cage of my arms. I wrestled with him a few moments, then held him to the ground and blew raspberries on his tummy. Blake squealed and tried to get away. "Gram'pa! Stop!" he laughed.

I let him go and kneeled back on my feet, hands on knees. Blake took a moment to catch his breath, then charged me. He threw his arms around my neck and I fell back to the ground in mock defeat with a groan.

"Gotcha!" I laughed and ruffled his hair, then got up.

"C'mon, Blake. Gran will be here soon to pick us up. We need to get you ready to go."

He made the cutest face. "Do I hav'ta get in those stupid pants?"

I laughed again. "Boys always wore those kind of pants when I was your age."

"They rode horses to school, too," he muttered under his breath. I smiled to myself.

"Go on to your room and change into your nice slacks, Blake. And the light green shirt. Comb your hair, too!" I called as he ran into the house. He kicked his shoes off at the sliding door and disappeared upstairs. I strode over to the pink blanket on the ground. My granddaughter was sleeping on it, hands up by her face, legs still slightly bowed. My smile grew tenfold as I heard her tiny heart fluttering and her fast sleepy breaths. I loved my grandsons as much as any other man loved his. However, there was just something about this little girl that made me melt. She was only three months old, but she had already wormed her way into my heart irreplaceably.

"Come on, Gracie. Let's get you all prettied up for the party, little girl," I muttered to her as I scooped her into my arms without waking her up. I carried her to her room and changed into a dress Esme had gotten her especially for the party. A sleeveless dress with a pretty pink ribbon in the middle with flowers in front. The bottom was bordered with delicate pink flowers. White tights and black patent Mary Janes and a little pink flowery headband finished the ensemble and I managed not to wake her up. I put her in her carseat and carried her to Blake's room. Bella pulled up to the house at the same time I knocked on his door.

"Come on buddy. Gran's here."

"Just a sec!"

I went to the kitchen and poured Blake a sipper cup of apple juice for the car and put it in Grace's freshly-stocked diaper bag. Blake thundered down the stairs. He stood in front of me and scratched his leg. "It's itchy."

"I know. I packed you jeans for later. Let's get going." Blake tugged his juice out of the bag and I helped him get his shoes on—thankfully black tennis shoes—and headed to the car.

"How was he?" Bella asked once we were on the road.

"Good. He took his nap so he should last through the party."

Bella smiled and took my hand over the console of the car. "Thank you for watching them."

"My pleasure, Love. Did you get the tickets?" I asked.

"I did. Everything's in the trunk."

"Good. Good." I rested against the seat and closed my eyes happily while Blake chattered away about the party and Grace started snoring lightly.

Everything had changed since Bella and I had married. She had turned out to take naturally to vampirism. She hunted ferociously, she lost the humanness of her looks, taking on a hard body and golden eyes. Her hair changed back to its gorgeous chestnut brown, only more elegant and vibrant than her human years. She seemed to have visually lost about five years from her age, but still had to play Esme's older sister in most situations. It bothered her at first, but eventually my Bella accepted it. Grudgingly, yes, but she accepted it finally.

Nick declined being turned, when he fell in love with Natasha. They married, both at twenty-three years, and had Micah a year after, followed two years later by Blake, and lastly blessed three months ago with Grace. He was now twenty-seven, and he and Natasha owned a bookstore in Forks. We all gathered this weekend to celebrate Micah's seventh birthday. It was warm even for summertime, but overcast and muggy.

Everyone was most excited to see Kimber, who we hadn't seen in a couple of years after she had found a home in Denali with our family's old friends Eleazar and Carmen. She promised to be here for this. The selling point was the birth of Grace, though, and everyone knew it.

I felt rather than saw Bella smile. "No nomads this time, right?"

My own lips cricked up slightly. "Not to my knowledge. Ask Alice."

She chuckled. The party was going to be held in the field we played baseball in all those years ago. None of us had been there since, except Carlisle to show Nick and Tasha to approve for the party. Micah wanted to go camping for his birthday, so Carlisle and Esme had suggested this spot. It was tough to get to, but Tasha and Nick agreed it was perfect.

At the beginning of the hill, Bella parked with the other cars at the end of the path. The car wouldn't make it up, and Emmett had the Jeep for packing the humans up the huge hill. "I'll get Blake and the things if you get Grace."

_Twist my arm,_ I thought.

I smiled and took her carseat from the base and held it tightly in my arms. Bella took a table out of the trunk and strapped it to her back sideways with a couple of bungee cords. She stuffed a large envelope in a pocket and slung Blake around her neck.

"Hang on tight, buddy," she said. She pecked me on the cheek and took off. I followed slightly slower, unnecessarily scared of harm coming to Grace. Up at the field Everyone had already assembled except for Esme and Carlisle, who were bringing Micah later, and Kimber. Damn girl was always late.

"Hey mom!" Nick called. He was setting up a table with Jasper. Blue and yellow decorations were in Rosalie and Tasha's hands, being strung with Alice's direction over a smaller table. Bella let Blake down and he ran to Emmett.

"Hi, Nick. Where do you want the table?"

"Ask Alice. I'm just the lackey."

Bella went to set up the food table and I took Grace out of her carseat. I tucked her in a blanket and cradled her in my arms as I went to watch Emmett and Blake play catch.

"Step into the throw, Blake. Like this," Emmett directed him.

Blake threw the ball back to Emmett with more success this time.

"Good! Again!"

I came to Natasha when Grace started whimpering for food a few minutes later. Handing her over was almost physically painful. I went to Bella, talking with Alice and Jasper, and stood behind her with my arms wrapped around her waist.

"They should be here soon. Within five minutes." Alice's face had that triumphant, mischievous look on it that meant she was hiding something.

"Do you know what she's on about?" I asked Jasper.

"Even if I did you know I couldn't say," he responded with a smirk.

"Kimber?" Bella questioned.

"Yes…"

She rolled her eyes in frustration and waved Alice off. She smiled and pranced off with Jasper to mingle.

"Love you," I whispered into Bella's ear. I ran my fingers over her shirt, loving the texture of the blue silk shirt around her waist. I loved these feminine fabrics she wore, so soft and inviting.

She sighed and leaned her head back on my chest. "Love you too."

I chuckled. "Where did you put your shoes?" This morning she had been up to my shoulder.

"Under the table. Stupid contraptions of death."

I rolled my eyes and smiled into her hair. She hated shoes, especially heels, even now. It couldn't be the discomfort or klutziness, now that she was changed, but she still despised them. Alice was constantly frustrated with Bella for it.

A smell to the west caught our attention.

"There she comes." Bella wrestled out of my grasp and took off for the scent. I followed a bit behind. Kimber appeared out of the trees with another familiar figure, fingers intertwined.

"Mom!" Kimber let go of her companion's hand and swept Bella in a long embrace.

"Hello, Edward."

"Tanya." I came to her and shook her hand. She scoffed and pulled me in for a hug. "Long time no see."

"You too. We weren't expecting you. Are the rest of your family coming?" I peeked around her on habit; of course I would have known they were coming beforehand.

"No. Just me." Her eyes cut to Kimber, talking to her mother at a speed to put Alice to shame. Tender thoughts came from Tanya.

Confusion made my brow wrinkle. "Not that I'm not glad you're here, but why are you? And with Kimber." I asked, dumbfounded. Kimber stopped mid-conversation and turned her head to me. She and Tanya met eyes briefly.

"What's this?" Bella asked, following Kimber's line of sight.

"Mom," she started, coming to stand next to Tanya again. "You remember Tanya?"

"Of course. Hi Tanya, nice to see you again."

"You, too Bella," she said with a smile, pulling Bella in for a hug also.

"So…what brings you here?" I asked Tanya. The only time a member of her family had come alone to visit ours was when Eleazar paid a visit to Carlisle.

Tanya smiled somewhat self-consciously. "Kimber."

I exchanged a confused look with Bella. It registered with her first when they joined hands again.

"Kimber! Why didn't you tell me? This is great! Congratulations." She was beaming at Kimber and Tanya, obviously extremely excited for them. I still didn't get it.

"Love, what's great? What's going on?"

She turned to me with a look that clearly told me I was being an idiot. I looked again at the two girls.

Click.

"Oh. _Oh._ Oh. Um…all right. Yes…congratulations."

"You have to excuse Mr. Victorian Age here. He doesn't quite understand the ways of our 21st century thinking." Bella's teasing made me bristle.

"I do understand. It just took me a minute. I've never known a lesbian couple of our kind."

Tanya giggled. "You're so cute when you're flustered!" Kimber and Bella laughed along with her and I glared at them and turned back to the party. It was time I checked on Grace anyway.

"Oh come on, Edward! We're just having a bit of fun!"

I waved them off and continued toward the party. I found Grace on a blanket on the ground next to Tasha, fast asleep. I could tell by Tasha's thoughts that I was close to striking a nerve, hogging Gracie like I had a tendency to do, so I backed off and found Alice.

I rapped her on the head with my knuckles. "That was very naughty of you, Alice. Keeping a secret like that."

"I didn't know you were going to make a fool of yourself. You need to make it up to Kimber, by the way. She thinks you don't approve," Alice whispered as the trio of women made their way into the clearing.

"I do approve. I'm happy for them. It was just a shock. How many other lesbian vampires have you come across?"

"None, admittedly. But they seem happy and that's all that matters. Promise me you'll talk to her. She's taking it kind of hard. And she asked Bella to block her and Tanya's thoughts from you," she warned.

Great. "All right. I promise I'll make it better." I gave Alice a pat on the head and draped an arm around her shoulders. We watched as Kimber snuck up behind Nick and pinned his arms down with one arm, then tickled him with her other hand. She scared the hell out of him and had him on the ground in three seconds, yelling his surrender.

"Hah! Got you, twerp!"

"Unfair advantage, you freak of nature."

Kimber let him go and stood, offering her hand to Nick. He refused it, getting up on his own, and the two embraced.

"Missed you," Nick said.

"Me too. Don't get all mushy on me though. What'll your wife think? Hey Tasha!" Kimber waved to Tasha, who gave a half-hearted wave back.

Tasha was a good woman, but jealous. The fact that Kimber and Nick weren't blood relatives made her uneasy, even though they thought of each other only as siblings. I gave kudos to Nick; he knew how his wife felt but refused to be different with his sister. It was something Tasha knew when they got married. Her jealousy had lessened, but never quite gone away. It had a tendency to flare whenever they touched.

I wondered if Tanya being in the picture now would make any difference.

"Nana faster!" Alice and I heard Micah coming up the hill with Esme and Carlisle. Everyone gathered around the birthday cake, a monstrous topsy-turvy design based on Mickey Mouse by Esme. Primary colors, sharp shapes, a leaning look. It was basically Micah in a cake.

They came into the clearing, Micah hanging onto Esme tight, a huge grin on his face. As she slowed, he waved to everyone. When she put him down he went straight to his sister and checked on her with the same obsessiveness I did. Then he ran to his cake.

"Omigod this is so cool! Nan you did so good can I eat it now? Please please please?"

Nick laughed. "Hang on Micah. Just wait a few minutes and you can blow out your candles."

Esme and Carlisle greeted Kimber and Tanya; they accepted the couple with more tact than I had. Damn I really had messed that up, hadn't I? I would have to talk with them as soon as I could.

Tasha set up the candles on the cake and we sang to Micah. Bella blocked me out when he made his wish.

"What was that for?" I whispered to her.

"If you know what his wish is, it won't come true."

I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck. She was so sweet.

XOXO

A campfire had been built, the tent for Nick and Tasha had been set up and the one for the boys was in progress. Tasha was bundling up Grace for the run back to the car and making sure there were enough bottles of pumped milk to last her the night and next morning.

"That should be enough, Edward. If not you can give her some formula. There should be some in the house," she said absentmindedly.

"Yes, there is. Don't worry, Tasha. She'll be fine. She's not the first baby I've had overnight," Bella laughed.

"I know. Ok. You got everything all right?" she asked again.

"Yes. Go enjoy the camping. We'll be back tomorrow around eleven."

Nick and Tasha asked us to watch Grace for the night. Esme and Carlisle decided to stay there the night. Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper had left already. Kimber and Tanya were leaving with us; they had run from Alaska.

After the cake he opened presents. I have to say, I think ours won. Tickets to Disney Land, complete with the reservations at the castle hotel for a week. I think Micah about passed out when he opened the envelope.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Bella promised. She kissed Tasha and Nick on the cheek, took the diaper bag and set off. I gathered Grace's carseat in my arms and nodded to them before following behind Bella. The girls weren't far behind me.

Back at Nick's house, I put Grace in her crib to sleep. When I came downstairs Bella was out with Tanya on the porch, talking. Kimber was in the den, using the computer. I joined her in there and put a hand on her shoulder.

"What's up?" she asked without looking away from the computer. She worked as a game tester now; she had one of the games up on her screen, blasting some dragon-looking thing with a blue electric ray. "This game sucks. It's just a Warcraft knockoff. It's exactly the same with shitty graphics," she said into a microphone attached to her head. I heard the voice on the other end respond in the affirmative. The dragon died soon after. "That was a boss fight? Lame, that was too easy!"

"Can I talk to you, please, Kimber?"

She sighed. "Leo, I'm going afk for a few. Be right back." She hit a button on her screen and her character, a blue creature with huge ears, wisped into the shadows.

Huh. I would never understand video games.

Kimber spun around in the chair and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "What's up?" she repeated. Her tone and crossed arms radiated hostility. I put my arms behind my back in a show of non-threat. She uncrossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Look I got a lot of work to do. I don't have time for all this 'I promise I'm not a threat by body language' crap ok? Just tell me what's going on."

Kimber never got why body language between vampires was a big deal; she had never run into a very territorial one. The only ones of our kind she had come across were civilized—our family or the one in Denali. Jasper taught her what to do if she ever did run across a nomadic one of our kind, but she tended to have a very human way of expressing herself around family.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It's not that I don't approve of you and Tanya. It was just a shock. It was really the last thing I was expecting."

"What _do_ you expect of me?" Her tone was defensive.

I sighed hard. "I'm going about this the wrong way. The only thing I expect of you is that you are happy with your choices—"

"And Tanya makes me happy," she interrupted.

"I'm sure she does. I'm not disputing that. I never was. If you're happy with her, then I'm one hundred percent supportive of you both." I sat on the couch next to the bookshelf across from Kimber. "The way I was raised, it was a horrible thing for two of the same sex to be together, I admit that. But you have to remember, I was there during the sexual revolution. Through gay rights movements, everything. I was in those people's heads the whole time and I know how it feels. In the eighties and nineties especially, I kept tabs on many thoughts of young gay people in my schools. You wouldn't believe what I heard. I think I stopped around twenty suicides.

"So you need to keep that in mind. If you and Tanya love each other, that's wonderful. I don't care who you're with as long as you're well-cared for and happy. It was just a shock earlier. And then Bella started making fun of me and you know how I get when my pride is damaged," I chuckled. That got a smile out of Kimber.

"Thanks, Edward." _It means a lot._

I nodded. "Mostly it was unexpected from Tanya. She's not exactly quiet about her…conquests. She bragged to me on many occasions about the men she'd had and never once had a meaningful relationship. She never wanted one." I smiled. "I'm happy she found it with you."

"I love her. She's everything to me. She feels the same way about me."

"Good."

"Kim, you coming back soon? I have a wedding to get ready for in two hours. I gotta wrap this up," Kimber's gaming companion called through the headphones that lay on the desk.

Kimber picked the headset up and spoke into the microphone. "Yeah, just a sec." She turned back to me. "I have to go. This guy's in Australia. He's on a completely different time clock. I'll be out there in a bit, ok?"

"Take your time." I stood from the couch and bent to place a kiss on Kimber's head. She swiveled back to the computer and I left the room. Tanya came in as I left. I gave her a smile and she thanked me.

I found Bella sitting on the couch, feet curled under her, Wuthering Heights in her hand. I smiled at her. "Don't you have that memorized by now?"

She smiled, not looking up from the book as I sat next to her and leaned into her side.

"The smell of the book adds to the story."

I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I just spoke with Kimber."

"I heard. Thank you. She was worried most about what you would think."

"Why didn't she tell us earlier?"

Bella closed the book and rested her head against mine.

"I just talked about that with Tanya. She loved Tanya from the beginning. Tanya…didn't want to accept the feelings she had for Kimber until recently. When they finally were together, Kimber wanted some privacy to revel in her—victory, if that's what you want to call it." She had a smile in her voice.

"Sounds familiar," I whispered.

Bella squirmed us so she was lying on her back on the couch, myself on top of her with my chin resting on her stomach. There was something about Bella's tummy that I loved. I don't know what it was but I loved to rest my head, my hands on it. Feel it.

I thought back through the years. Thirty-four years ago I met Bella. I remembered how I had hated her to begin with. This angel of destruction brought to bring me my own personal hell. I grew to love her. I protected her, held her, kissed her. How many times had I thought I was doing the right thing for her, when I was only digging a hole for myself? Too many times to count. Leaving her was the cataclysm of my obsession with keeping her safe, despite what was best for her. I thought about those ten years of hell. Shuddered to think of the things I did. I nearly tore our family apart for seven years before returning from Somalia, dirty, broken, and almost catatonic with grief. It took me three years to be able to be around humans again without going crazy, looking for Bella in every crowd.

And the first school we went to, back in the monotonous façade of normalcy, who was my teacher?

I never believed in fate before that day. I vowed I would make it up to her, to get her back whatever it took. I never wanted to harm a man as much as I wanted to hurt Josh. How many times had I fantasized about ripping his throat out with my bare hands? Possessiveness over my mate took over every function of my brain. It was only love, the true unselfish love, that kept me from doing it every time I saw him.

But I won her in the end. I won my Bella. And I kept her. And I married her, and I changed her. There was no part of her, heart, body, soul, that I did not get to keep forever.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella brought me out of my musings.

I smiled up at her. "Ancient history." I burrowed my face into her belly, consuming her scent. She ran her fingers through my hair.

"How much time until Grace wakes up to be fed?"

I shrugged. "Probably an hour and a half."

She wiggled her eyebrows at me. She darted her eyes out the window to the woods behind the house.

"Do we have enough time?" I smirked at the mischievous look on her face.

"We have all the time in the world."

I stood and took her hand and we ran out of the house into the woods.

Oh, I would never tire of making love to my Bella.

**~*~ Right Vs. Good ~*~**

**~*~ The End ~*~**

* * *

**Thank you all! Look out for outtakes-I may do them to keep writer's block at bay while writing my next story!**

**XOXO-Ka**


End file.
